When she and Chimera made it back to the island after their run in with the beavers, he insisted that she go see Ali or Siren to get checked out after she nearly fainted against him trying to escape their strange, glowing attackers. She certainly didn't want to go against his wishes since she had a feeling that he'd be checking up on her later to ensure that it happened even though the last thing she wanted right now was to get examined. If anything she just wanted to collapse and go to sleep and hope that whatever these side effects were she would be able to sleep them off by morning. When she made it back to the suite she shared with Siren, her love and the two pups beside her were fast asleep and she smiled softly as she looked at them. Laying down with them sounded lovely, but instead she slipped into the room where they stored their herbs and quietly dropped off the bag of supplies she had collected during the day and then left to go find Ali instead. A quick exam and then she could be done with this day and get some sleep. She walked across to the wing where Ali resided and after a quick poke around her living quarters she decided to go out to the gardens where they had spoken last time. It was dark out, but it really wasn't all that late in the night. The nights were just longer and earlier than normal so she didn't expect Ali to be asleep so unless she was in Chimera's room she imagined this could be the only other place she would find her. Sure enough, she spotted the clouded woman among the various plants and she approached her with a tired smile. "Hi, Ali." She hadn't had a chance to speak to the woman since the last time they were here when she had gotten the medication from the other healer so she wasn't sure how things had gone or progressed since then. Settling across from her with a sigh she explained, "I got light headed on my way back to the island tonight and Chimera had to save me from a run in with some strange animals. He told me to come get checked out. I'm pretty sure it's nothing, but I thought I'd come see you anyway." "Speech"

Aliana sat out amidst the evening gardens, surrounded by night blooming jasmine vines as she enjoyed the cool evening air. Her life had become so upended recently, the monochrome-coated woman barely knew how to keep herself sane through it all. Between the birth of Siren's children, her attack by Chimera, the night with him and Dalila, her unplanned pregnancy, and now Chimera's confession of his love and her emotional maelstrom, Ali just felt drained. She took to the gardens in the evenings to help keep her mind calm, to recharge and recover, and to watch the strange blue fireflies while she gathered her thoughts. In the most recent days, a friendly little musician wren had taken to joining her, chirping its sweet tunes as she sang to herself to keep herself grounded. She'd grown quite fond of the little creature, and in time it had become her own little companion when Chimera was otherwise occupied.

While the clouded smoke and snow fae relaxed in the darkening evening that seemed to be coming much too quickly, Aliana glanced down at her stomach, her heart fluttering nervously against her ribcage. Though her body hadn't begun to show any physical changes yet, she knew it was only a matter of time before the puppies began to make their presence known. She dipped a dainty paw down to rest over her belly, still feeling a touch of that panic that gripped her heart when she first discovered her pregnancy, but now there was also some hope in her heart as well. Chimera loved her, and she loved him. Perhaps he would be different with her and their children when the time came to welcome them into the world. The way he'd looked at her, spoken to her, kissed her on the ferry... Ali's heart skipped a beat from the memory.

The sound of approaching paw steps on the grass brought Aliana's aquamarine eyes up, resting on Dalila and lighting up with a small smile on her face. "Good evening, Dalila." Her smile drifted slowly off her face when she saw the tired look on her pack mate's face. "Are you feeling all right?" Dalila settled down across from her and began to explain what brought her here. While she was curious about the strange animals, she was more concerned with her friend's health first and foremost. Ali wasted no time in sitting up and moving to sit right in front of Dalila, placing paw pads to her forehead and examining her pupils. "How long have you been experiencing lightheadedness for?" she asked, bringing her paw down to rest on the side of Dalila's neck, an intimate touch but one with a purpose. She timed the other fae's pulse, her expression neutral as she set to her work. Dalila didn't have a fever or any abnormalities with her vitals. "You may be right, but best to be safe. Have you been experiencing any other symptoms, recently or chronically?"

"Aliana"

As soon as she sat down and explained the situation, Aliana was up and working going professionally into a quick exam. She mostly just expected Aliana to tell her everything was fine and then she could report back to Chimera and tell him as much so he wouldn't worry. Either way, she was a good patient and sat still while Ali began doing the usual checks like feeling her forehead with her paw, checking her pupils. "Pretty much since the day after you gave me the silphium," she replied when Ali asked how long this had been going on. "It's mostly just when I've really active or doing something throughout the day though. It's more like a heavy fatigue than anything." It still didn't really occur to her that this could be anything more than just side effects of what her body was having to go through from the herbs she was given or perhaps a little non-serious illness she had picked up some how. Anything else never crossed her mind. She was still and quiet while Aliana checked her pulse, a little smile pulling across her lips as she watched Ali at work with a very serious expression on her features as she counted her heartbeats. Ali really was a good healer and had a good bedside manner for it. Very to the point, but still kind. The thought crossed her mind of how easy it would be to lean forward and give Ali's nose a little kiss with how they were sitting, the thought making her heart skip, but she resisted for now. It was a pleasant thought to follow though and it nearly distracted her from Ali's next line of questioning. Her ears perked as she pulled herself back to the present and tried to think of any other symptoms that might be worth telling. "It's mostly just being the tiredness and fatigue and getting light headed when I'm really tired... though my stomach has been a little uneasy occasionally and I've had some pretty frequent cramping whenever I'm out gathering and hunting, but I figured that was just side effects from the silphium," she said with an easy shrug, giving Ali a little smile. "I'm sure it'll pass soon, right?" "Speech"

Thankfully, Dalila was a very good patient. Calm, chipper, and cooperative. She remembered trying to help Viper and what a nightmare that experience had been. In stark contrast, Dalila made this almost too easy. Glancing up briefly at Dalila, Ali paused only for a second to do a double take when she saw the larger mottled woman smiling at her. Her cheeks flushed hot and she was swift to return to her examination, trying not to think about the last time she'd been this close to the other fae. How it had felt to be wrapped up in her arms with her lips on her neck, the way her paws went wherever they wanted... No! No, now is not the time for those thoughts, young lady! Mentally chiding herself, Ali resumed her focus on diagnosing Dalila with the information at hand.

Fatigue, tiredness, light-headed, unsettled stomach, cramping... Dalila mentioned the silphium Ali had given her and suspected it might be the culprit, but Ali furrowed her brow and shook her head. "No, silphium wouldn't do that, even preserved. Not unless you-" Aliana froze on the spot. Her breath caught in her panicked throat and she brought wide aquamarine eyes up to meet Dalila's blues. Oh no... Ali looked down Dalila's body to her belly, her breathing shortening with worry. No no no...! Defying her awkwardness being around the woman that had previously fucked her silly, Ali brought her muzzle right up into Dalila's neck fur, sampling her scent briefly, dipping her muzzle toward Dalila's hips and inhaling again. No! I tried so hard! Why?! Her diagnosis was confirmed.

"Oh, Dalila..." Aliana began, rising back to her paws and taking a step back from her patient, her ears folded to her head in shame and a remorseful pleading in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry." She knew Dalila would have no clue what was going on, so Ali decided it would be best to ease her into the news. Aliana glanced down at her paws for a moment to gather her courage as shame and guilt broke her heart. "Your heat has ended..." she pointed out to the other woman. That would be her first clue, that her heat season had ended only a couple of days after her tryst with Chimera. "All of the symptoms you've told me, they're all ones I know... because I've been experiencing them as well."

There was no reason to drag it out any longer. She had failed and now Dalila would suffer the same fate she would. "Dalila... you're pregnant." She gave the other fae a moment to absorb the news, certain in her diagnosis. Ali risked a step closer, praying Dalila didn't hate her. She'd tried so hard to protect her from this fate, but in the end she'd failed, just like always. She'd thought she'd had enough time, or that the contraceptives would be effective enough. None of it mattered now though. "I'm so sorry, Dalila! I-I thought... I thought there'd be enough time, or that there was enough silphium. But I... I failed, and I'm sorry!" Please, please don't hate me! I tried, I did! Why didn't it work? Why Dalila and not just me?!

"Aliana"

Dalila tipped her head and hummed with thought as Aliana mentioned how silphium wouldn't cause those kinds of symptoms, a little frown crossing her face as she began to worry that she had gotten some kind of illness or cold. She would feel terrible if she accidentally passed it on to Siren or the pups... But while she was beginning to consider that possibility, she saw the sudden panic in Aliana's eyes and her ears flicked back with worry, her light blue gaze questioning the fellow healer. She tried to think of what could possibly make Ali react like that, saying, "Ali, What's-" but before she could even get the question out of her mouth Ali moved closer and started sniffing and checking various parts of her, making Dalila look at her with a worried, furrowed brow. What had she thought of that would make her react like this? Ali didn't ease her confusion at all as she stepped back with the most apologetic look in her aquamarine eyes and started profusely apologizing for something. She couldn't think of a single thing Ali needed to be sorry for, especially not in regards to her health. It wasn't like Ali had gotten her sick or anything, so why was she apologizing? She looked at Aliana with confusion as she mentioned how her heat had ended and how she had been feeling the same symptoms as well... Slowly the realization began to dawn on her, the truth creeping up on her just in time for Aliana to confirm it. Pregnant. She had been so certain that the herbs she had been given had done their job and had prevented this from happening that she hadn't even considered that could be what it was. With that information planted in her head it all started to make sense. All the signs and symptoms had been there, she had just been too far into denial and disbelief to recognize it. She blinked as her ears fell back against her skull, wide, shocked eyes falling down to look at the ground between them. She drew in a shaky breath while she tried to wrap her mind around it all. Pregnant... with Chimera's children. It was an obvious outcome of what she had done because of her heat, but somehow it was still a shock that made a beat of dread and panic grip at her chest. She had never wanted to be a mother - had never even considered it. But now she didn't suppose she'd really get the choice. Aliana's frantic apologies, saying how she thought it would have worked and how she had failed, broke Dalila out of her own thoughts and she looked up at the woman in front of her. She didn't know how to even begin to fathom the fact that she was carrying Chimera's pups, but she knew one thing for certain - there was no reason for Aliana to feel this way because of it. She reached out and wrapped her forelegs around Ali's shoulders, hugging her tight. "This isn't your fault. I was the one that went to Chimera while I was in heat without any kind of contraceptives. This is my own fault. You did the best you could and you gave up your own slight chance to try and save me from it." She sat back just enough for her gaze to find Ali's again, trying to give her a small smile to reassure her even though her own emotions were still turned upside down. "It... It'll be okay. That just means we'll get to do this together, right? At least we're not doing it alone." They'd have their pups together and they could grow up together with Siren's. Even if they were wildly unprepared to be mothers and even if neither of them really wanted this at least they could face all of this together and that was a comfort for her at least. She leaned in to embrace Ali again, needing her to know that she didn't blame her for this in the slightest. She buried her face in Ali's fur, trying to ignore the dread she felt from having to tell Chimera and Siren the news. "Speech"

Dalila's reaction had been everything the grayscale fae had been trying to avoid—and undoubtedly the same expression she wore herself when she'd found out her own pregnancy. Shock. Dread. Remorse. Every expression that flitted across Dalila's face sank the dagger of failure deeper and deeper into her heart. Please don't hate me! I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me! Aliana was nearly hyperventilating with her own upset and anxiety. She'd sacrificed everything to make sure Dalila would be spared the fate she was doomed to endure, but in the end it hadn't made a lick of difference. Whatever cruel gods had cursed her from the moment of her birth continued to torment and torture her, and now she was ruining other wolves' lives by proxy. Truly Aliana was a hex upon whomever she was near. Frenzied mind was racing frantically to try and find a solution to this, to solve Dalila's problems that she'd been the cause of. If she'd been more prepared, or if she'd insisted on them stalling their move to the island, or... or... anything! Anything to prevent this!

Oh, but it didn't matter now. She had failed and now Dalila would suffer the consequences. Ali was almost in tears for the mottled woman when Dalila shocked her by pulling her in for a hug. She gasped from the sudden contact, flinching initially at the fear of being struck for her failure, and finding herself perplexed by the affection she was being shown. She didn't deserve it; she'd failed. Dalila tried to reassure her that this wasn't her fault, but Aliana couldn't see it. Dalila had gone to Chimera without contraceptives, but it was Aliana hadn't prepared enough for them in time. Secretly, she'd hoped that maybe Chimera would have spent most of his sperm on her in the hours leading up to Dalila's arrival that maybe their scant amount of birth control would be enough, but it seemed that Chimera was far more virile than she anticipated. Again, another error on her part.

Dalila tried to hug her and soothe her, but Ali remained stiff and unmoved, far too lost in her own headspace and downward spiral. She stared into space past the other woman's shoulder, her ears buzzing as her mind drowned in a deluge of panicked thoughts and desperate solutions. That was when Dalila separated them enough so their eyes could meet and she could smile. She tried to find the silver lining; they could both go through their pregnancies together and support one another. Pregnancies that neither of them had planned for or wanted. What sort of way was that to bring children into the world? She'd elected to keep the pups because of who she was. She was a pacifist and could do no harm to anyone—not even the young lives growing in her womb. No matter how much it pained her, she would find a way to love those children. She would not be like her mother or father. Still in a daze, Ali raised a paw to stroke the back of her damaged collar, feeling the tears and rips Chimera had left behind in the wake of his violent assault. No, there was no silver lining to these storm clouds.

The next thing the smaller woman knew, Dalila was embracing her again, hiding her face within Aliana's soft fur. Without even thinking about it, Ali lifted her paws to loop around Dalila's back and rub her shoulders, a natural reflex to try and comfort the hurting wolf. "We don't have to both suffer together," she said finally, her mind recalling what Chimera had said to her on the beach. "There are ways we can stop this before it goes any further. You don't have to do this, Dalila. We can still save you before Chimera ever has to know." Silently, Aliana pleaded for Dalila to take the offer, to terminate her pregnancy before she got too far along and was forced to endure what Ali had worked so fervently to avoid. She would keep Dalila's secret for the rest of her days if it meant protecting her from bearing children she didn't want to a man who had used her heat to his own devices. All she needed was a yes from her friend.

"Aliana"

She remained wrapped in an embrace with Ali as the other woman began to speak, making her ears perk as Ali made an offer that caught her off guard. She was honestly still wrapping her head around the idea of being pregnant at all so jumping right into the decision of whether or not she should keep the pups felt like a pivot that her mind and emotions weren't ready to take. She didn't respond as such right away though, instead leaning her head more into Ali's neck and rubbing the other woman's back absently as she considered it. She completely understood why she would make the offer. She was already so guilty about Dalila being pregnant and over the fact that the contraceptives hadn't worked so it made sense that Ali would try everything she could to get Dalila out of this situation. So then the question became did she want to be out of this situation. The obvious answer should have been yes. She hadn't gone into this wanting Chimera's children and she had simply been too intoxicated to know better. If Chimera didn't know and if they could take care of it before he found out then there could be no chance of him wanting to keep the pups. She didn't know if he would or not, but she wasn't sure if she could tell him no if that was the case. He was the King and whether she had been in the right mind to do so or not she had willingly given herself to him while she was in heat. She had made her bed and in a way she felt like she needed to lay in it. But the other part that weighed on her was the fact that her true love remained in Siren. If it ever occurred to her that she'd ever want to be a mother there was no way she would be able to have those children with Siren so she would have to have someone father them and it only made sense that Chimera would be the man to do it. She thought about her parents or lack there of, about how her father had killed her brothers and eventually killed her mother, how her mother had died just to prevent herself from getting pregnant by him again and being forced to carry pups that he would kill... This situation was far from perfect, but she knew she could be safe here and she knew that even if Chimera wasn't the best father or even a good father he would still be strikingly better than her own father had been. Whatever children she had here wouldn't be immediately put into slavery or have to grow up without their parents like she had. After several long moments of contemplation she finally leaned back again, her gaze finding Ali's and her ears flicking back. "I appreciate the offer, but... I don't think I could kill pups like that. Even if they're not born yet." She glanced away, her paws finally slipping away from Aliana's shoulders. "My mother was a slave in the pack I grew up in and was raped by one of the guards. He killed my two siblings because they looked too much like him and his crime would have been found out. She ended up being killed by the same guard just to keep herself from getting pregnant by him again... Lost her life purely because she didn't want to see more pups killed." Bringing her gaze back to Ali's she added, "I just... I feel like if I kill these pups it's just a disrespect to what she died for..." She didn't know if Aliana would understand where she was coming from or not, but at the very least she knew she had made her decision. But then that brought up another question for her. "Why haven't you done that for yourself?" she asked with a little tilt of her head. "I know you're a lot closer to Chimera than I am, but you seemed so upset about it the night after... You could prevent it for yourself. We can tell Chimera it was just a natural loss, I can help back you up." Perhaps she had made herself a lost cause, but she could keep helping Aliana if that's what the other woman wanted. "Speech"

Aliana's brief spark of hope that she could still save Dalila from an unwanted pregnancy with Chimera was a dying flame clinging to oxygen with all its might. The hesitance in Dalila's face made her think that perhaps the mottled fae was seriously considering her offer. Ali knew exactly which combination of plants would do the trick, and would make it easy on her newfound friend—and potential lover—so she wouldn't have to suffer in either case. But when Dalila refused the offer to terminate the pregnancy and looked away, Ali felt her heart finish breaking in her chest. The pieces plummeted into her stomach and she stared into space while the hopeful look on her face slowly contorted into guilty horror. She was only half paying attention when Dalila started to speak, but when she realized it was a personal story from the woman's past, Aliana listened much more intently.

Dalila regaled Aliana with the details of her birth and her childhood. She was the product of rape, her siblings had been killed to hide the evidence, and then her mother was killed by her rapist when she tried to prevent more children from being murdered. It was an awful story, one that made Ali question her own conception. Her parents had both abandoned her before she could even speak. Had she been the product of rape as well? Had they been too ashamed of her and her siblings that they were forced to give them up? So many questions about how she had been brought into this world that would forever go unanswered... She sympathized with Dalila, but she didn't agree with her. This was not the same situation. But the look in Dalila's eyes told her that this conversation was done. There would be no changing her mind. Dalila would carry and birth Chimera's children.

"I understand..." mumbled Ali beneath her breath, unable to look Dalila in the eye out of shame and guilt. It was a lie. She didn't understand. But it was Dalila's choice. The clouded fae just hoped she was making the right call for the right reasons. Dalila surprised her by turning the question on her. Aliana looked up with a start when Dal asked why she hadn't used the herbs to abort her own pregnancy. Aliana's ears folded flat to her head and her stomach flipped. No matter how much she didn't want the puppies growing inside her, the mere thought of doing something to harm them... to kill them... "I... I can't," she said, her voice broken and quivering. "I can't harm them just because they exist, Dalila. They did nothing wrong and to take their lives... it would be so cruel." What if her parents had terminated her before she was born? Well, she wouldn't be in this mess now, she supposed. No, she would also have to carry and birth Chimera's children, all because she couldn't harm another living thing. It disgusted her to consider. She already hated herself—what would she think of herself if she let herself do such a terrible thing?

So that was that then. She had failed and now Dalila would have to pay the price. "I'm sorry you have to suffer like this with me," Ali apologized, though her words were barely above a low murmur. "I'm so sorry..." Dalila had told her this wasn't her fault, but Aliana just couldn't believe her. Of course it was her fault. Dalila had trusted her to fix her mistake, to prevent this from happening, and she didn't do that. All Ali wanted to do right now was go crawl into her room and die. She felt gross, she felt useless. She wanted all of this to just be one big nightmare that she'd wake up from at any moment.

But life was no fairy tale, and there would be no happy endings to this story.

"Aliana"