Rudy’s wounds are slowly starting to heal and Fern feels grateful that he survived. The kind wolf that had brought her to the Hallows and showed her kindness deserved to live. So, when Artorias had left Rudy’s wellbeing in Fern’s paws, the gray girl had taken the task to heart. She is an almost constant fixture in the infirmary, bring him food and staying long hours to talk or watch over him as he slept. Guilt grips her every time she looks him, thinking of all the pain and emotions he is going through related to the attack. Rudy needs to sleep a lot in order to heal, so Fern often sits in the furthest corner of the room, watching the wolves that come and go with silent understanding. Rudy is a loved wolf and Fern feels jealous of him for that.

When she did leave the infirmary to try and sleep, it proves to be elusive for her. The moment her eyes close, blood splatters the darkness behind her closed eyelids. As the nights lengthen and the sun refuses to raise above the horizon, Fern begins to struggle with paranoia. The short trips to get food or reach in the infirmary have become challenging as Fern watches unknown wolves line the hall and stare disapprovingly at her. When she passes them, the jokes they make about her causes Fern to tuck her tail and move quickly away.

At first, Fern tries to rationalize the situations. Since she only sees them when they laugh at her, perhaps they are just figments of her imagination. However, the lack of sleep coupled with erratic thinking quickly has Fern seeing enemies around every corner. When she isn’t in the infirmary, Fern has taken to locking herself in her guest room. Eyes will watch the closed door bow and bend as furious paws pound on the wood, trying to reach her. Her vision often swims in and out as she watches but wither that is from the tears that spill down her cheeks or lack of sleep, Fern does not know.

When she visits Rudy, he seems distant a lot and Fern’s muddled mind worries that he blames her for the attack. A haze has settled over mind, confusing her thinking and perception of things. At times it has her thinking that Oxx had been after her and Rudy had been hurt protecting her. Other times, that Rudy hated her for showing up weak and needy at the Hallows. There are moments of clarity, where Fern remembers the truth about everything but those moments are coming less frequently.

Right now, Fern lays in her room, drowsy eyes watching the wood on her door distort with each strike from the angry wolves outside. Lethargic thoughts wonder when the last time was she had seen Rudy. Days? Weeks? Maybe she should go check on him. Heavy body raises off the furs and Fern walks cautiously to the door. Taking a deep breath, she throws it open quickly, trying to catch the wolves that had been attacking it. As always, there is no one in sight. Sighing angrily, Fern steps out into the hall and walks the short distance to the infirmary.

Time has lost all meaning to her and the concept of day and night seem so foreign now. Stopping outside the room where Rudy is, Fern tries to blink away the fatigue that seems to have settled in her bones. Thoughts swim up from the murkiness of her mind as she readies herself to check on Rudy. When was the last time she had slept? Surely it was yesterday. Fern remembers closing her eyes but not sleeping, the blood-soaked darkness never lets her sleep. The last time she had slept was before Rudy had awoken in pain. Was that two or three weeks ago?

What her sleep addled brain does not realize is that it has only been three days since he woke up. Sluggishly, Fern shakes her head to try and clear the fogginess that has settled over her mind. It doesn’t matter anyway. As soon as Rudy back on his paws, Fern will be leaving the Hallows and everyone here behind her. Straightening her shoulders, Fern lets herself slip on the mask of disinterest as she moves quietly into the infirmary to check on Rudy.


"Speech"

Rudy was tired of being in the infirmary but he was more tired of the pain and was doing his best to not even look at the paw or behind at the tail or lack-thereof.   Frequently there were others in the room with him, sometimes that was nice sometimes he would prefer to be alone.  He felt funny in a way Rudy had no description for and so he didn’t bother mentioning it.   That said he had a real desire to get up and head back to his room.  Sure, it would hurt but there would be privacy and how bad could it really be?

As he pondered that Fern walked into the room.  She was one of the wolves that was with him so much of the time lately.  She had continuously been there for him and while that was thoughtful Rudy was in no mood for it.  Perhaps his sullenness was childish but damn it this wasn’t fair, none of it was.  Rudy had been blaming himself but now he was starting to see others were at fault even more than he was.

Bright bit of ooze could be seen peeking out from the ears, just now starting to collect in there, hardly noticeable unless someone looked for it.  He could feel the liquid with the same level of irritation as a fly might give, easy to ignore for now.  Rudy let out a deep exhale as he considered the grey wolf.  He had brought her here to begin with but had never expected to be in this situation.

“You know, there’s no need for you to be here all the time.  Get to know some of the other wolves,” Rudy suggested with a tired voice.  Soon he was gonna leave here for sure and get back to his room.

"Speech"

As Fern walks into the infirmary, her eyes take in wounded Rudy. He is awake, his golden yellow eyes staring at nothing in particular as she moves toward his bedside. Aqua eyes linger on the bandages around his neck, momentarily get lost in blood-stained memories. Rudy’s tired voice breaks through her foggy mind and pulls her back into the moment. A guarded smile appears as he suggests she go meet others. Shaking her head, Fern says, “What and leave the most interesting wolf in the Hallows all by himself? Besides, your brother entrusted me with your care. Means I have to make sure you get back on paws as quickly as possible.”

The words are supposed to make him smile, to make the situation lighter but they are weighed down by sadness. He is hurting and she feels alone. Fern wishes she could run far, far away and never look back but something keeps her here… Rudy keeps her here. Moving around his bed, Fern tries to fluff the furs that support his body, attempting to make the injured wolf more comfortable. There is a bowl of water near his head and Fern takes it away to rinse and put fresh water in.

With her back turned to him, Fern asks, “Can I bring you some food? Are you in any pain?” Mentally, the gray girl kicks herself. Of course he is in pain, who wouldn’t be pain after all that. Stuttering, she tries to correct herself,  “I… I mean… more pain than usual. Would you like me to get Gwynevere? I can get her if you want.” Returning the fresh water to Rudy, Fern shifts from leg to leg, unsure what to do with herself. Her sleep addled brain does not pick up on the tension in Rudy’s body or the fact that a bright ooze is starting to pool by his ears and run down the side of his face.


"Speech"

Damn, how had she not noticed how dim-witted she was when he first met her?  Agitation was building up faster than normal in Rudy  A mixture of a bad state of mind and the sickness igniting that frustration as surely as a match to an oil spill.  She was there because she felt responsible for him? “If Art wants me to be watched he can do it himself.  His damn fault Oxx is alive, to begin with.” Art had met Oxx and hadn’t killed him.  Of course, Art had tried and lost the fight but right now that detail didn’t matter.  His brother should have made sure not to lose.  Wasn’t he the great fighter after all?

She took the bowl of water and he glared at the empty space it had been.  Frustrated that others were taking care of such basics for him. “I bet,” Rudy had been going to make a comment on Bowen but his words cut off as realization snapped in of what he was saying.  Bowen, his beloved sister already stolen once didn’t deserve any harsh words.  What was wrong with him?  He was going to far with Art also.

Rudy shook his head, grimacing as the neck complained, pulling at the stitches in there.  The ooze slid down from the ears towards the top of the jawline.  Rudy nose twitched as something felt funny in it.  Rudy raised up his good paw, swiping at the nose and looking in distaste at the trace element of ooze on it.  Damn it.  

“I don’t need Gwyn,” Rudy stated softly.  “You don’t know how to fight at all do you?” The words held pent-up agitation in them, not really meant to target her at that specific second but it could quickly turn that way.  If she couldn’t fight she was useless.  “That means when its time to fight Oxx or any new threat you’ll be useless.”  Rudy felt agitation blooming in him which made him want to fight so it was natural enough to turn those thoughts on her. “So quit asking if I’m in pain and tell me about how you are going to make yourself stronger.”

Rudyard Carpathius

Fern watches Rudy with worry as he grumbles angry words about Art. In the short amount of time she has known them, Rudy had never said a bad word about his brother. Something was off about him and maybe if she wasn’t so damn tired, she could figure it out. When Rudy shakes his head, the gray girl notices his wince of pain and her lips pull down in a sympathetic frown. Rudy is so much pain that Fern decides she can forgive some things that he says.

Her tired eyes finally spot the ooze that slides down Rudy’s face and panic grips her heart. Is this a symptom of infection? When he wipes his nose and even more of the ooze appears, Fern opens her mouth to say something. The words, however, die on her lips. Rudy’s first words are that he doesn’t need the healer and, while they are spoken softly, Fern can feel the anger coiling around them. Brow wrinkle in hurt and confusion as Rudy calmly asks if she knows how to fight.

Golden yellow eyes watch the exhausted girl as her mind trips over itself, trying to figure out what he wants her to say. She feels like a storm is building and Rudy is just waiting for the wrong answer to unleash his fury on her. Mouth still open, Fern swiftly snaps it closed, waiting for his next words. The gray girl does not have to wait long for Rudy to call her useless.

The world tilts as Fern feels the rug being pulled out from under her. Here she thought she had met a genuinely nice wolf for the first time in her life. Oh, how wrong she had been. This time she does not need a mask as cold detachment settles over her. Fern will never belong anywhere and it was foolish of her to try. He demands to know how she will make herself stronger and she looks into his once kind eyes.

There is an unfathomable distance in her aqua gaze as everything sharpens in her exhausted mind. When she finally speaks, the words have no inflection, no emotion as Fern says, “Well Rudy, to tell you the truth, I am not planning on making myself stronger… here.” As soon as he as back on his paws, Fern will disappear into anonymity once again. If she is lucky, perhaps she will even see her mother soon.

Her monotone voice continues, “As for fighting Oxx… yes, you are right. I would be useless. However, seeing as I have no reason to fight him, I guess I won’t be a hinderance in that department.” Why should fight a wolf that took down Rudy when he cares nothing for her? Besides he has his family who loves him. Let them deal with Oxx and the fighting. Rudy has already said it himself, she is useless.

Taking a step back from Rudy’s bedside, the distant girl says, "When I leave, I will be sure to ask Artorias, the leader of the Hallows, to come watch over you.” It is a low blow and Fern knows it but she doesn’t care right now. All the sad girl can think of is the days spent by his bedside, the energy and worry she had given him. Sleep has been elusive for her and it is all because of him. Never again will trust a stranger’s kindness.

Painting a smile on her features, eyes cold, Fern asks, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Rudyard, before I go fetch your brother?”



"Speech"

Rudy knew the monotone voice being the sort used to hide emotions and was aware what he had said was rude.  The problem was that he had a hard time caring.  Raising his good paw to press his ear down and squeezing it pushing out more ooze.  Rudy started to raise his paw with the missing toes then put it down, tilted his head but dared not shake.  Finally, he lowered his head, placed it sideways, and rubbed till it squeezed some ooze out of it.  This was going to be infuriating!

Rudy could hardly think straight between pain, depression from events, the annoyance of the ooze, and the sickness.  Everything was a distraction and things should be said to Fern but every time he thought of it something else stole his attention.  Damn it!  “That’s a bad idea,” Rudy muttered then his lips pulled back to show his teeth but it's just to watch some ooze drip from his mouth. “Oh c’mon!”

Rudyard glared up at her as if all the wrongs going on were her fault, mostly because she was there and none of his problems would care if he yelled at them.  “I can’t deal with you right now!” Rudyard snapped.  “Leave me alone!" a pause, “well, see me later but not now…” the last part was drawled out as he tried to think straight.  “But go away now damnit.  I don’t need art, I don’t need Gwyn, or anyone else.

Rudy huffed, got his back legs and good front leg under him, and shoved himself to his feet.  The world rocked around him.  What was from sickness and what was from injury?  Some part of his stomach twisted as he imagined her leaving only to have Oxx find her and yet another part wanted her gone, wanted to be alone and try to get himself sorted out.  Rudy wanted to vent the confusing storm building in him.  He didn’t dare try to take a step but added on, “Get out of here before I make you.  If you want to leave then fine but get an escort.”  It was a mixture of threat with concern in a twisted sort of manner.  There was a desire to protect her and a desire to chase her off.  Another part of his mind warned Rudy not to look back, some part of him didn’t want to see the empty spot his tail had been.  That shouldn’t be relevant at the moment!  ‘I’m sorry’ came to mind but he didn’t say it

"Speech"

Rudyard

The sickness deepens... You feel as if there's something in your ear that you need to get out. No matter how you scratch, the item won't budge. You scratch harder, until the feeling subsides but nothing is extracted. Unfortunately, your ear was damaged in the process, with a half inch notch being torn away from the edge.


You gain:  

• Ear Tear-  A half inch notch has been torn from one of your ears. Ouch!
  

Fern’s eyes are distant and tired as she looks at the angry Rudy. Everything in her screams to snap back at his harsh words to blame him for all that has happened. There is a swirling darkness looming inside her head, threatening to unleash its wrath upon him. A distant part of the gray girl knows that something is wrong with her. She wants to fight it, to try and remember why she is mad at him but nothing makes sense anymore.

Her frame becomes taut with barely suppressed rage as half-truths and misremembered memories cloud her head. It is like she is looking at everything that has happened through shattered pieces of glass. They warp and distort everything. When Rudy speaks, flames of hatred lick at her brain, threatening to consume the gray girl. Body shakes as she clamps her mouth shut, allowing his words to strike into her. Suddenly the fog in her mind lifts, and the light of understanding washes over her.

However, the darkness has skewed every single memory Fern has of Rudyard, painting the picture of how much he hates her. She now knows, it is the fact that he had here brought her here and she useless... weak, that makes the injured wolf stare at her with contempt. When Rudyard tells her to leave, Fern twists her face into a vicious smirk, opening her mouth and preparing to unleash all the hateful words that crowd her brain. Suddenly, the injured wolf gathers his good legs under him and tries to stand.

The rage inside Fern dies as the cold tendrils of worry quickly snake through her. Blinking rapidly, Fern shakes her skull, trying understand what in the hell is happening. Fern’s aqua gaze looks at Rudyard confused. Why is he saying he wants her to leave and take an escort? Dazed eyes take in the fact that the wounded wolf is standing as her brain tries to sluggishly register this. Just as it clicks in the exhausted girl’s mind, Rudy is suddenly planting his butt back onto the bed and collapsing to his stomach as he grumbles and scratches at his right ear.

Bewilderment clouds her mind, making her already lethargic thoughts come to a grinding halt as she stares at him. Her mouth hangs open, unable to process everything that has happened and what is happening right in front of her. Only when Rudy cuts a notch into his ear does Fern come back to life. Lunging toward the already injured wolf, Fern aims to try and trap the paw that is digging a bloody furrow into Rudy’s ear. Fern’s movements are uncoordinated and jerky as she dives toward him, the need to stop the hurt wolf from damaging himself any further, drives her forward.


"Speech"

Rudy hadn’t been sure exactly what he’d do after he managed to stand.  Leaving seemed a good idea but wasn’t plausible at the moment.  Intimidating her?  Could Rudyard manage to look intimidating at the moment? Wrapped in bandages and dizzy on standing?  Probably not.  Nor did it matter since the next moment something came over him to cause an insane amount of scratching at his ear.

Nothing else mattered than to get whatever was in his ear out, it was maddening.  Scratching it and failing only made it worse till finally, the ear tore a solid notch out of it.  Rudyard was ready to continue the scratching but the need seemed to melt away and only the dripping blood from the torn ear remained to show for his troubles.

While he sat there trying to get his mind sorted out again he saw a flash of movement come towards him.  He was being charged at.  A vision of Oxx grabbing him, a flash of remembered sharp pain came to his mind  Eyes wide he felt something press into him but focusing was hard.  Pain, fear, Oxx’s face, and the feeling of his serrated teeth flowed into Rudy’s mind.  Rudy sunk his teeth into flesh, fighting back against the monster he envisioned in front of him  Unplanned terror and hate filled him as he could feel pain from a tail that wasn’t even there, as he expected to feel more pain with no idea where.

Rudyard Carpathius

Everything happens so fast and yet… so slowly. As Fern unwittingly dives toward the injured wolf, more focused on stopping Rudy from hurting himself any further, the gray fails to account for the emotional trauma he has been through. Time elongates as she sees terror-filled eyes turn toward her. They do not recognize her, only the danger she poses to him. There is no time to dodge or try to abort this failed attempt at help, so Fern does the only thing she can do. She simply closes her eyes and accepts the pain that awaits her.

She does not have to wait long. Teeth tear through the flesh of her left cheek, missing her eye but tearing holes into the soft tissue underneath. She feels as one of his teeth punctures her lip, sliding clean through the thin piece of skin. As pain flares along the damaged nerve ends Fern opens her mouth to scream out in pain. This causes her lips to move and the embedded tooth rips a jagged gash through the already damaged lip. Blood fills her mouth as she howls in pain and fear.

This is wrong, the Rudyard she knows wouldn’t hurt her. He is kind, caring, and sweet. What had she done to deserve this? She can’t remember anything; her memory is blank as the only things she knows are pain and fear. As quickly as it had started, the pressure releases, and the teeth retract. Fern stumbles backward, blinking teary eyes open to stare at the injured wolf with fear. The retreat is cut off as her butt slams into the wall and she franticly flicks her gaze around, looking for an exit.

Blood flows down her face freely as the damaged cheek and torn lip cause the liquid to leak out at an alarming. Tears slid out of her eyes and into the fur, stinging the open wounds on the left side of her face. Spotting the door, Fern looks back to Rudy, knowing he would only hurt her if she did something horribly wrong. Sniffles fill the air as the gray girl says, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry.” She needs to get away and turns toward the door to try bolt away from this place and him. What is happening to her? Why can’t she remember anything?


"Speech"