It was a long day for Chade. He’d fought those large dogs and been helped by a wolf he’d never met. Chade had gone back to the band and gotten patched up for his injured side. It wasn’t bad he’d been assured but it hurt. The pain wasn’t horrible but it more reminded him of what was gone. The boy missed his dad. Chade went back to the one that was always closest to his heart. Making his way up to Ry he didn’t even bother speaking, just shoved his forehead against his brother’s shoulder before lying down and curling up next to him.

The shoulder wasn’t what heart, that was his heart. For so long he’d locked up all his feelings for the need to focus on survival. Slowly he was starting to acknowledge he could relax and worry less about dangers of the world while they were here. Relaxing was bringing about a different sort of threats. Locked away emotions, memories he didn’t want to think of too much were coming out more. He saw Alastor and Manea and they seemed so nice and reminded Chade of what they’d had and what they had never known. Memories of dad and his smile came to mind.

Sad eyes glanced up to his brother finally whispering, “I miss him.” No need to specify who.

"Speech"

The lighter pup waits in the den, anxious for the healer to release Chade from their care. When Ricin had heard that Ny had gotten injured, the lighter boy had almost fainted. His fragile world had started to crumble away as memories of losing their father ran circles in his head. Someone had assured the pup it wasn’t that bad but the light pup had hidden away, waiting until he can see and touch his brother for himself. While he waits, the lighter brother rests, trying to escape the fear that has engulfed his world. Drifting in between the worlds of waking and sleep, Ry hears a noise at the den’s entrance and quickly lifts his head. Chade’s darker form slips in and relief floods through Ricin. His brother’s shoulder appears bandaged but it does not seem to hinder his movement. Ny is moving toward him and Ry opens his mouth to ask how he feels but is stunned into silence.

Chade shoves his forward into Ricin’s shoulder and curls up next to him. It seemed as if emotions roll off of Ny, stifling the air around him. Without a word, Ry repositions himself, pulling his brother closer and allowing a gentle paw to stroke his brother’s darker fur. Ricin holds him, waiting for his brother to speak. When Ny’s sad eyes find the lighter pup’s and he mentions how much he misses him, there is no doubt in Ricin’s mind who Chade is speaking of. Slowly stroking his brother’s fur, Ricin says, “I miss him too Ny. It doesn’t seem fair that da’ had to die. I still think of him every day.” A sad smile plays across his lips before he adds, “It’s okay Ny. You don’t have to hold it in anymore.” As he holds his brother, Ricin thinks of the talk that he had with Manea and how he had finally been able to start to releasing the pent up emotions.


"Speech"

“We aren’t kids anymore, well,” chade had to correct himself, “we aren’t little kids.” His eyes were brimming with tears aiming to hold it back but barely. “Not supposed to cry.”  Not that he was acting very mature right now.  Ry was wrapped about him and Chade had no plans to move soon.  Ricin was the last tie he had to their happy past.  They were each other's only ties.  

Chade thought back more to dad playing with them.  The memories wouldn’t stop no matter how much he wanted them to.  The stories he’d tell, the nuzzles they’d get, and praise after doing something that had seemed hard back then.  Each memory formed cracks in that wall he’d built so well.  He pressed his head into the deep fur around Ricin’s neck, mumbling into the fur, “don’t tell anyone.” The words came with not just silent tears.  No, everything he’d held in was pouring out now in one big gush.  

Side-wrenching heaves of choked-up tears whines of heart-aching pain came from him.  It would likely be good for him in the long run but right that moment everything was terrible. “It’s not fair,” the words a choked whisper when the crying seemed to be working itself out.  He felt like such a crybaby but, at least it was just Ry that would know it.

"Speech"

The lighter pup scoffs at Chade’s words, only wrapping more tightly around his brother and saying, “I don’t see anyone else here Ny. Besides, I grew up with you. Pretty sure I have seen worse things.” He tries to joke, to to keep his tone light and nonchalant but the weight of unshared emotions dims the mood. Ny is lost in his memories and Ry just rubs slow circles into his fur, trying to softly hum a tune their dad used to sing them. The tune falters as the memories around it grow faint, so Ricin picks his own rhythm, starts to make his own tune. Then the dam breaks and everything spills out of his brother. Chade has always been the steady, strong, reliable pup of the pair. But right now, Ry tries to be the anchor his brother, offering himself as a rock in his brother’s emotional tempest.

The darker pup’s sides heave and the whines that escape break the lighter brother’s heart. They ride out the storm together as they have done everything else in their life. When Ny chokes out a whisper, Ry nods his head, saying softly, “I know Ny. I know. But we have each other. It will be okay.” He allows to Chade to cry, neither judging his brother nor trying to stop it. Now that they are safe, the brothers have a lot of things that needs to come up and out.


"Speech"

The two brothers had grown up a lot over the last few months, along with their views of the world.  Who knew what they would have become had they been able to stay with their real parents and if mom had loved them.  So much more naïve certainly.  Chade was far past the line of innocent youth and could never step back across the line.  Normally he’d aim to be the mature one supporting Ricin.  They had been through all the same terrors together but normally Chade did his best to protect his brother.  How the tables had turned.  Still, even if things were different Chade had never doubted finding comfort in the presence of Ricin.

Ricin was the only one left from his past, the only one who truly knew him.  It was like one soul split into two wolves.  Even when the tears stopped he kept next to his brother.  The stroking of his fur, the tones of both dad’s and then Ricin’s own had offered some soothing comfort.  

He didn’t try to speak right away when the tears were done falling.  Sometimes words weren’t necessary anyway.  There was strength to be found in just the physical touch.  There did come a point after some time passed where he spoke quietly, but the voice no longer had the choked up sounds to it.  “The wolves here are nice.  At least Manea and Alastor are.”  Chade and Ricin had spent longer than normal split up doing their own thing, it was weird and Chade realized they hadn’t spoken through all the recent experiences.

“You know, they’ve been helping me learn how to fight.” It was time for a new subject.  Tears had been spilled in memories of the past.  Now, as Chade pulled strength back into himself, it was time to look at the better future.

"Speech"

Ricin holds his brother, trying to give Chade some small measure of comfort while allowing the emotions to spill out. The lighter-hued boy remembers a night similar to this when they had first joined the band. However, it had not been his brother to hold and comfort the crying boy but Manea. Shame grips Ricin as he thinks of the purple woman and the fact that she knows the brothers deepest, darkest secret… and it is because Ricin had told her. The comfort she had given, the touch and embrace helped to start heaingl a part of the pup that felt broken. He tries to think back to night and give Chade that same comfort Manea had given him. He tries not to think about his own betrayal

Eventually Chade’s tears slow and stop, silence filling the space between the boys. Still, Ricin keeps the contact, holding onto his brother as long as Chade will allow him. When his brother’s voice quietly greets the lighter pup’s ears, Ricin smiles and nods his head. Ever since the boys were born, Chade and Ricin had been inseparable and, while the lighter boy does love Manea and her band, he feels that Chade has grown more distant. Or… perhaps it is him that is distant. Since arriving and spilling their secret to purple woman, Ricin has felt guilty. The worst part of the secret is that Ricin wasn’t supposed to know what Chade did. It is supposed to be Chade’s secret… and Ricin had spilled it.

The lighter-hued pup has found it difficult to be near his brother since then. Not because of something Chade did but because Ricin is convinced that he has betrayed his brother in some way. But right now, everything feels like the old days, the brothers against the world and Ricin welcomes Chade’s small talk. Eyebrows shoot skyward as his brother speaks about fighting and Ricin chuckles asking, “Are you being careful? Some of these wolves seem pretty big.” Offering his brother a wink, the lighter boy says, “You will have to show me some of what they have taught you.” With a chuckle, he adds, “Well, I have been sticking pretty close to the band. I have been…” his voice trails off as Ricin tries to think of what to his brother.

In truth, the light pup has been sulking, trying to hide and brooding on everything that has happened. Shrugging his light shoulders, Ricin continues, “You know, I haven’t really done anything interesting since we got here. Scouted out a few places but nothing big.” Another, smaller shrug is given before Ricin says, “So Chade. Who all is teaching you to fight? Tell me about them.” A smile rests on his lips as he looks to his brother, hoping to have deflected any questions his brother might have had for him.


"Speech"