It was getting safer out here. Safer than it had been when Halo arrived, washed up on the shore of Boreas one day, and promptly been stalked by a predator. A big cat. Hell, she still had nightmares. The tenderhearted girl wasn't used to such things going on, especially with the crystals. It was scary. No, genuinely, it had been. Maybe Halo was weak for being afraid. Was the expectation that she just write it off as normal, as acceptable, as something that could just happen? Maybe she was still having nightmares about it because she was weak.

The previous night's sleep had been colored with those nightmares, despite having seen no signs of illness since bringing her raccoon friend back to health. It seemed that summer had chased the last dregs of it away. Maybe it was safe to venture further than she had been, so far? Would it make her feel better? Let's face it-- nothing could make Halo feel much worse. The grey had settled over her thickly today, and she didn't want to burden her packmates with it. Dawn had just begun to break over the horizon when she slipped from her den, telling her raccoon friend to stay put. She wasn't going to do chores, to revive the fire from embers, to collect water-- no. Today, she was going to go for a walk.

Though she usually enjoyed walking through the crisp morning air, today it didn't help much. Halo's mood was still sour, and she still felt... bad. Genuinely bad. What reason did she even have to feel this poorly? She'd been taken in by a pack, she was well fed, she was well cared for. Halo's head was fraught with conflict. What if she was letting them down? The girl was clearly the weakest link. She wouldn't be any good defending from a siege, from a raid. She was only now, as a grown adult, learning how to defend herself. Halo was a draw on their resources, and for what? The other healers, they could all fight. It was just Halo that found herself useless. How long would it be until they saw it too? Maybe they already did, and discussed it out of her earshot.

Her head spun with poor thoughts, clouded by the grey, as she crossed into the swamplands. At least this was promising. All sorts of strange herbs liked soft, swampy ground like this. Still, it was unlikely that anything could be done to improve Halo's low mood. She'd woken up sad, and she'd made herself even more sad. Today was one of the days where Halo didn't have the energy to fight the grey off, and instead let it win. Carefully, the pale healer picked her way across the swampy ground. The murk around her matched her mood well. If the Armada kicked her out, she'd just run away and live here, in this swamp. That probably wouldn't even be so bad... at least she couldn't burden anyone here.

Right. She was looking for herbs. Halo was looking, but due to her mood, it was a bit halfhearted. Still, she was looking all the same.

"Halo"

Every few days, she found herself wandering back to look for that hunk of a shithead. While he may not have been a good poet, he was at least good company, and surprisingly, that's what she yearned for the most these days. Companionable activities that were wholesome and fun while they got to know each other. The petite girl found herself thinking about him most days, but also reminded herself that she had things to do. Plus, he hadn't invited her to meet his family yet either. Not that she was even close to being ready for something like that. Deep down, she knew she still had a bunch to learn about herself before making such a grown-up move. Today was one of those days where she found herself wandering aimlessly, black cat in tow, to who knew where. The lands were massive and there was a lot left to explore. Feeling achy in her paws and exhaustion in her bones, Celeste turned toward the swamplands in an attempt to find a place to lay down. With the sun rising at her back and filtering through the treetops, she welcomed the shade upon her obsidian coat. Lifting her speckled horns slightly higher for a good look around, her aquamarine eyes caught an ivory coat not far off. Curious as she was because she liked to stick her nose in others' business, she made her way toward the girl. Once close enough, she noticed the rather sour and far-off expression on the girl's face. Scrunching up her own features, she edged her silky-coated body a little bit closer. "Why so blue, sweetie?" Celeste asked, her accent giving away that she wasn't from around these parts. Flicking one ear off to the side, she let her head tilt slightly while her tail wagged between her ankles.

Plants. She would keep looking for plants, and she wouldn't stop looking until she found them. If she was going to be a reclusive swamp witch, there was something she had to get right. Finding plants. Halo should be good at this, for fuck's sake! She should be good at finding herbs. She was a healer after all-- or was she a fraud at that too. Had she just tricked everyone into believing that she could help people? Had she tricked everyone into believing that she was good, and decent, and overall at least okay? Maybe she was rotten. Maybe she was rotten to the core. Maybe she was the worst, the absolute worst, and she would just... always be the worst.

Sometimes, the grey made Halo dramatic. It was the grey that left her posture rather low, eyes trained on the ground itself instead of the world around her. The tenderhearted girl had been sucked into a spider's web, and it wouldn't want to let her go. The thoughts... they weren't good ones. Halo was usually able to chase most of the poor feelings away, and co-exist with the grey itself, but some days were harder than others. Today was one of those days. Heck, she'd tricked the whole of the Armada, Warlord included, into believing that she was good and that she was helpful. Aris saw through her, though. Aris knew that Halo was a fraud. It was only a matter of time before the others figured it out too.

None of it was true, of course, but there was no talking Halo into that.

A voice came from not far off. It was shaded with some sort of accent, one that Halo couldn't place. For a moment, she froze and considered running. By no means was she fit to be seen in this state... by no means at all. She was a healer. She was supposed to fix others when they felt like this. Like this. Halo didn't even know what this was. It takes a moment to process the girl's words. A girl. Halo takes her in-- a yearling. A softness creeps into her gaze, and she offers a small smile. "Oh, sorry," why is she apologizing? At this point, it's habit. "I haven't been to this area before, it seems a bit harder to find herbs here than I anticipated." It was a lie, but not the worst one Halo could have told. She makes it seem as natural as possible. There was plenty weighing on her mind, but she couldn't share it. Not with a stranger. Halo fixed other people's problems-- she didn't have problems of her own.

"What brings you out here?" It was a bit of a strange sight, a pretty young lady amidst the murk and the muck. Maybe she was looking for something... maybe Halo could help. It would help take her mind off of things, at least.

"Halo"

There is a flickering change of expression in the other girl that causes Celeste to pause. Tilting her head back the other, her ears catch the quick sorry before an explanation about attempting to find herbs in these parts. Well, she'd be of no help there. Born a natural hunter and raised in the way of tracking and hunting, Celeste knew nothing of the medicinal values of plants. Some tasted good, most tasted bitter, and a few were dangerous. It was the extent of her knowledge and she wondered if the girl was lying. Who would look for plants in a bog such as this? A hum vibrated quietly in her throat as her lips pursed. Her aquamarine gaze flicked over to her companion that had gone off to climb a tree in search of a bird. The cat could handle himself so she wasn't terribly worried. Turning her attention back to the pallid girl with brilliant purple eyes, Celeste smiled briefly smiled back. "You see, it's warm out today and I wanted some shade to contemplate my worries," an exhausted sigh left her lips as she plunked her butt down on the ground. "Not that anyone cares but there's this boy, I think I like him, but ugh I don't know if he likes me," she rolls her eyes and raises a paw to swish it around in the air. Maybe talking about herself would help the girl open up or forget about her own problems.

As the girl spoke, Halo continued her search. At least it was nice to have the company, not being so alone with her own thoughts. Being alone with them... well, when her thoughts weren't supervised, they got mean. At least with someone else around, even a stranger, they'd be held accountable. Maybe with some accountability they'd be nicer to her. Halo could hope. Goodness, she could hope they'd be nicer to her. Please. Please.

She had worries. Halo looked up briefly, head canting softly to the side. "Well, have you asked him if he likes you?" How was she to know, after all, without asking? Affairs of the heart were beyond the pale healer's reach. She's too shy, too timid, and there was likely no hope for her anyway. It was easier to focus on her work and let the others do as they would. Right, her work. The work was the most important thing, helping others and all that.

Here's the thing: Halo doesn't believe she can be loved, so she will be useful. She will be so useful that it becomes a substitute for tenderness.

As if on cue, her gaze sets on a cluster of angelica. With careful paws, Halo began to dig the plant out from the roots. It didn't matter so much that the plant stayed intact, only that she got all parts of it. Stem, roots, seeds. Though it was tough stuff to find, it was good for stomach aches and a laundry list of other things. Well, at least she hadn't come out here for nothing. "You say you think you like him... what's the reason you only think, instead of know?" Halo's tone was gentle, the same she used with any of her patients. She doesn't want to make the girl uncomfortable with direct eye contact, so instead she continues to search the swampy ground cover for useful herbs.

"Halo"

Celeste doesn't mind that the girl continues to search for berries and plants. That kind of stuff wasn't interesting to her, no one bit. Rather, she just wanted someone to listen to her talk. Talking was more fun, gossiping was the best really. Something to distract herself with if she wasn't hunting. Someone could only hunt so much before their bones grew tired. Glancing down at her tail for a moment to examine the wispier hair that new grew, her ears perked when the girl asked if she had questioned the boy about his feelings. "Well no," Celeste leads with when the pale girl asks why thought she liked him but didn't know if she liked him. Thinking to herself for a minute, her nose wrinkles. Well, that was a lot to think about. Her ears flick back and forth as she fights to find the right words. "Okay so see the thing is," her voice hitches as she lets out a sigh. Glancing around, Celeste makes sure they're alone before the words come tumbling out. "I do know I like him like him, like a lot, but the thing is that he brought another girl back and she's bigger than me, prettier than me, the whole deal," her chin tilts down as she looks to her paws. "I'm not one who cares to fight for affection, it's not my thing, but I don't want to waste my time with someone who isn't going to see me for who I am," the girl's voice is quiet. While to others, on the outside, she posed herself as nonchalant, careless, and a go-with-the-flow type of gal, deep down, she wanted someone to treat her like a queen as if she were their whole world. Another wistful sigh leaves her lips as she finally looks up to the tangled canopy of tree limbs. Was she wasting her time? Should she wait it out? God only knew.

Halo is happy to listen to the girl talk. It's nice to have a backdrop of sorts, as she browses through the foliage and looks for things that will help her in her healing. Really, Halo is grateful that she doesn't have to be on her own. Being left alone with the grey is too much. Being left alone with the grey would be too much today. She couldn't take it, she wouldn't take it. To be left alone with her sadness was something that she really wasn't looking forward to. No, she had company now. She'd listen to the girl gladly.

Carefully, she tucked the first clump of angelica away in her borrowed bag. It would be this one first, and then the one beside it. Yes, she needs to be incredibly and immensely careful. Damage to the plant would make it hard to replant, and Halo didn't know if would even survive. Was the soil in the Armada even right for it to grow back up? Replanting was a risk, but one she was willing to take if she brought back enough to preserve and use as well. Right, some to plant, and some to use. That seemed correct enough. Still, she offers the girl an ear, simply letting her speak. Halo is content to be quiet as always.

At the hitch in her voice, Halo looks up softly. On soft, albeit a bit dirty paws, she moves to sit beside the girl instead. The glum expression... Halo is no stranger to it. "There's no such thing as more pretty or less pretty," her voice was gentle, sinking to lay beside her girl in the comfort of a patch of grass. "The night's sky full of stars is pretty, and fresh fallen snow are pretty, they're just different kinds of pretty and that's okay. Don't go comparing yourself to her or anyone else, you're pretty because you're you." The words were soft, comforting. A healer's words, though they're aimed at the heart instead of anything physical today.

Soft coat, soft gaze, soft words. All of Halo is soft where she sits beside the girl. "I don't know that he's not seeing you for who you are... but if you don't talk to him about it, you're never going to know for sure." She offers reassurances, gazing carefully at her companion. The only way to know, really know, was to talk about it after all. Halo would offer that much, an encouragement.

"Halo"