shenanigans only
03-06-2022, 04:32 PM
Now that completion of the school was looming close and she felt almost prepared to start taking in students, the stress had built to an untold magnitude. The nightmares that had kept her from deep sleep since Rhyme's passing had finally began to trickle down to a manageable level. No longer was she waking soaked in sweat and keening, now she was just... slightly disheveled and a little overwhelmed. Panic no longer gripped her in a tight fist. Things were looking almost bright. With the change of the seasons coming slow and sweet, Theory thought it was a good time to pay Sparrow a visit before the weather became more unseasonable.
She wanted to probe for more information about the details she'd heard from Artorias. Had they she been sniffing around their borders? If so, to what end? Sparrow was a pirate, after all - she had no allegiances to anyone but herself. Theory wasn't under the impression that she would act entirely unprovoked, so that left a few options: The Hallows had something she wanted or The Hallows had done something to offend her. Enough time had elapsed since she'd spoken with Art that surely something have come to fruition, or Sparrow had moved on to another target. Fiending for some information, companionship, and perhaps a stiff drink, Theory called out at the edge of the sparkling beach.
She wanted to probe for more information about the details she'd heard from Artorias. Had they she been sniffing around their borders? If so, to what end? Sparrow was a pirate, after all - she had no allegiances to anyone but herself. Theory wasn't under the impression that she would act entirely unprovoked, so that left a few options: The Hallows had something she wanted or The Hallows had done something to offend her. Enough time had elapsed since she'd spoken with Art that surely something have come to fruition, or Sparrow had moved on to another target. Fiending for some information, companionship, and perhaps a stiff drink, Theory called out at the edge of the sparkling beach.
![](https://i.ibb.co/59kz3pc/theo-sig-timelapse.png)
03-06-2022, 05:01 PM
Sparrow was always happy to hear the voice of her cousin nearby. She nudged he companions aside from where they had been resting and made a quick leg-in to find some suitable booze, making her way to the borders where her cousin awaited her. She trotted up slowly, not wanting to fill her fur with sand at the moment- that shit got itchy fast. Last they'd talked, Theory was making buddy buddy with all the packs to try to get them to attend her school. This was good, because if they agreed, it meant she probably had some info on packs, and if she sent someone to her school, they could look out from afar. More than that, however, Sparrow was just glad to see her cousin in one piece. "I swear to god Theory, if you come here twice in a row for alpha shit I'm gonna lose my marbles," she said, tossing the bottle of alcohol in the sand between them, throwing on a genuine and loose smile as her eyes met Theory's. "So what's up?"
![](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/448183316005257228/950174016373653594/sparow_by_wolf_and_fig.png?width=959&height=854)
Sparrow has a female Harlequin Macaw named Pongolo and a male Capuchin monkey named Friar, and a hairless mushroom tuxedo cat named Beef Sandwich. She also has cat claws... and some weird leg spike things.
03-21-2022, 04:01 PM
"Well, about that..." she said, sidestepping the bottle of alcohol as it hit the sand and scattered the black stuff around. Theo danced around the bottle, then finally gave up her fidgeting and popped the top with a clumsy motion using her jaws. "What if I make it extra-super quick and then we only do fun things?" she suggested, shooting Sparrow what she hoped was a winning smile that looked more like a grimace. "It's just - after talking with all of the alphas - one of them had some concerns. Artorias? From The Hallows? He said you'd been around and he was antsy over it. I was just wondering why you were probing Auster? It stays between us, of course. I'm only asking because I've been told it's a sanctuary pack," Theory said, then immediately felt stupid. The Hallows had been a sanctuary pack when Resin had kept it at the Falls, but after it had been handed to Artorias, she really only had his word that it was. Politics shmolitics. He'd invited her in readily enough, and that was a positive sign - but the visit was over and done. She could mull it over later after hearing Sparrow's side. There was always another side to the story.
![](https://i.ibb.co/59kz3pc/theo-sig-timelapse.png)
04-02-2022, 12:15 PM
Sparrow let out a really super dramatic sigh as her cousin settled into fucking politics of all things. She rolled her eyes and wreathed and would have probably picked her nose unabashedly if she had hands. So Artorias was antsy and was telling Theory about it. Good. Theory ended with 'because its a sanctuary pack' or something and Sparrow resisted the urge to throw herself headfirst into the sand. "Every pack is a sanctuary pack if you ask them directly. No one's gonna say, 'We'll yeah, we're evil and kill puppies," Sparrow tossed a brief smile, only if to hint that she wasn't actually upset. "You're a sanctuary for those who want to learn, he's a sanctuary for... something. Ashen is a sanctuary for God's farts, and the Pirates could be a sanctuary for those who don't fit into any of those categories."
She turned to look at Theory directly, "He should be antsy. We raided him." She let that soak in for a second. "He captured one of mine, we talked, traded alcohol, and I got my guy back. It's just a raid, we're not even maiming anyone." She shifted a bit, to make sure Theory was focusing on her, "I told you we'd raid you too. For fun, for training. He's not my cousin, he doesn't get a warning, but you can tell him if y'all are friends: I plan on raiding every pack in existence at least once. It's why I don't have any real alliances, not even with Tyrian and Fireside. We're pirates, it's what we do for shits and giggles and training if you will."
She didn't expect Theory to understand. She didn't expect her to approve. She finally broke the several minutes of eye contact, "Don't you ever just want to be reckless? Just once? Maybe more? The Pirates crave that energy and action like some crave politics, like some crave a harem, like some crave the acceptance from an imaginary god or their ghost ancestors." Sparrow shrugged. "Besides, I never got to see the inside of the castle and I'd heard they had good wine. I got both in the end, even though we lost the raid." Sparrow laughed a little. She wasn't upset at losing, but she was surprised how everything turned out in the end. "Don't worry, Artorias and I agreed I'd warn him next time. I didn't even tell him we're related so, whatever."
She turned to look at Theory directly, "He should be antsy. We raided him." She let that soak in for a second. "He captured one of mine, we talked, traded alcohol, and I got my guy back. It's just a raid, we're not even maiming anyone." She shifted a bit, to make sure Theory was focusing on her, "I told you we'd raid you too. For fun, for training. He's not my cousin, he doesn't get a warning, but you can tell him if y'all are friends: I plan on raiding every pack in existence at least once. It's why I don't have any real alliances, not even with Tyrian and Fireside. We're pirates, it's what we do for shits and giggles and training if you will."
She didn't expect Theory to understand. She didn't expect her to approve. She finally broke the several minutes of eye contact, "Don't you ever just want to be reckless? Just once? Maybe more? The Pirates crave that energy and action like some crave politics, like some crave a harem, like some crave the acceptance from an imaginary god or their ghost ancestors." Sparrow shrugged. "Besides, I never got to see the inside of the castle and I'd heard they had good wine. I got both in the end, even though we lost the raid." Sparrow laughed a little. She wasn't upset at losing, but she was surprised how everything turned out in the end. "Don't worry, Artorias and I agreed I'd warn him next time. I didn't even tell him we're related so, whatever."
![](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/448183316005257228/950174016373653594/sparow_by_wolf_and_fig.png?width=959&height=854)
Sparrow has a female Harlequin Macaw named Pongolo and a male Capuchin monkey named Friar, and a hairless mushroom tuxedo cat named Beef Sandwich. She also has cat claws... and some weird leg spike things.
04-04-2022, 04:20 PM
"Well, yeah... I suppose," she said, utterly sheepish. "I think I have a habit of thinking too... uh, positively of others. Maybe. Just a little bit." It would be a better world if it worked like Theory sometimes imagined: people keeping their promises, everyone showing up on time or politely late with warning, no one raiding anyone without due cause. A very sparkly, gilded version of reality. Although she shouldn't be surprised, Sparrow went on to make her jaw slowly drop little by little until the end of it all. "Okay, right, just raiding, yes," Theory said like she didn't care one bit (even though she cared a lot). Not having any alliances was freeing - part of that impetus was why she opened the school as a neutral grounds. They were simply a safe harbor for youth and wayward souls, to learn and to - well, didn't that make her a sanctuary pack, like Sparrow had joked? At least she wasn't killing puppies - but how could she prove that to the more suspicious lots? Suddenly, some of the other alpha's reactions were making a bit more sense.
Don't you ever just want to be reckless? "I mean - " she stopped, allowing Sparrow to finish. Theory took a deep breath, sucked it in and held it, then blew it out in one great sigh. "I did see the inside of the castle. And the wine was good," she said snidely, batting at the sand in front of Sparrow. "That was my reward for calling on them politely." She tossed her head back and groaned, staring at the sky. "OF COURSE I WANT TO BE RECKLESS!" Theo yelled, the sound of the ocean waves stealing her words away and carried them quickly out to sea. Then, in a smaller voice: "But I have responsibilities... and I love those responsibilities more than I want to be selfish. Most of the time," she threw herself down on the sand, rolling to and fro until her fur sparkled with the granules. "Except tonight? No responsibilities?" She resisted the urge to add a sugary-sweet pweeeease?
Don't you ever just want to be reckless? "I mean - " she stopped, allowing Sparrow to finish. Theory took a deep breath, sucked it in and held it, then blew it out in one great sigh. "I did see the inside of the castle. And the wine was good," she said snidely, batting at the sand in front of Sparrow. "That was my reward for calling on them politely." She tossed her head back and groaned, staring at the sky. "OF COURSE I WANT TO BE RECKLESS!" Theo yelled, the sound of the ocean waves stealing her words away and carried them quickly out to sea. Then, in a smaller voice: "But I have responsibilities... and I love those responsibilities more than I want to be selfish. Most of the time," she threw herself down on the sand, rolling to and fro until her fur sparkled with the granules. "Except tonight? No responsibilities?" She resisted the urge to add a sugary-sweet pweeeease?
![](https://i.ibb.co/59kz3pc/theo-sig-timelapse.png)
04-17-2022, 04:21 PM
Theory talked about viewing others positively and Sparrow nodded, "And I love that about you- I'm just the exact opposite." Sparrow could tall as she spoke that her cousin was more and more shocked. Yeah, there was really no way around it and it probably would have been easier to just pretend she was killing puppies right in front of the woman. She commented like she didn't care, but it was obvious she did. She wasn't trying to be a good guy, and she didn't know how to relate that to Theory who was entirely good through and through.
Theory said she also got to see the castle and get wine and Sparrow's smile sharpened, "See, two means to the same end," she said simply as if they were discussing whether or not it was easier to hunt or trap a rabbit- which was actually somewhat of a good analogy. "Except I also get the promise of tasting the Alpha's blood next time, but I guess that's the opposite of what you want."
Then Theory had a very Theory meltdown sort of and yelled at the ocean like an opossum might yell at its own ass before asking very nicely for no responsibilities tonight. "See I love being selfish over any responsibility, so I made it my sole responsibility to be selfish." Sparrow sighed and went to throw a foreleg over Theory, hoping to muzz her fur as much as possible, "Why don't you just come here and be a Pirate and be my Big Virtue??" She crooned and swooned, hoping to rub little circles in Theory's fur. "We're opposites so we'd work so well together and you can tell me all kinds of things like, 'No, Sparrow, don't raid that sanctuary pack,' and 'Yes, Sparrow, kidnapping all the puppies is definitely a better alternative to birthing them yourself,' and 'Yes, I'll kiss Artorias's ass and get us more wine.'"
She aimed to smush Theory's cheeks and peer into those pure optimist eyes, "Pleaseeeeee, you can be every ounce of my conscience and I can be like all the temptation and we can hang out all the time."
Theory said she also got to see the castle and get wine and Sparrow's smile sharpened, "See, two means to the same end," she said simply as if they were discussing whether or not it was easier to hunt or trap a rabbit- which was actually somewhat of a good analogy. "Except I also get the promise of tasting the Alpha's blood next time, but I guess that's the opposite of what you want."
Then Theory had a very Theory meltdown sort of and yelled at the ocean like an opossum might yell at its own ass before asking very nicely for no responsibilities tonight. "See I love being selfish over any responsibility, so I made it my sole responsibility to be selfish." Sparrow sighed and went to throw a foreleg over Theory, hoping to muzz her fur as much as possible, "Why don't you just come here and be a Pirate and be my Big Virtue??" She crooned and swooned, hoping to rub little circles in Theory's fur. "We're opposites so we'd work so well together and you can tell me all kinds of things like, 'No, Sparrow, don't raid that sanctuary pack,' and 'Yes, Sparrow, kidnapping all the puppies is definitely a better alternative to birthing them yourself,' and 'Yes, I'll kiss Artorias's ass and get us more wine.'"
She aimed to smush Theory's cheeks and peer into those pure optimist eyes, "Pleaseeeeee, you can be every ounce of my conscience and I can be like all the temptation and we can hang out all the time."
![](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/448183316005257228/950174016373653594/sparow_by_wolf_and_fig.png?width=959&height=854)
Sparrow has a female Harlequin Macaw named Pongolo and a male Capuchin monkey named Friar, and a hairless mushroom tuxedo cat named Beef Sandwich. She also has cat claws... and some weird leg spike things.
04-18-2022, 06:41 PM
Theory squirmed but allowed Sparrow to paw all over her - before long, she was laughing and hiccupping. "S-stop! I didn't even know I was ticklish!" Theo collapsed to the sand, panting heavily. Just when she thought she'd be released from her torture, Sparrow grabbed her by the face and smushed her cheeks. She poked her tongue out through her teeth, making a phhlffftrtbbp noise and spitting up at her cousin. "I don't wanna taste anyone's blood," she gurgled, shaking Sparrow's paws off of her face. So I made it my sole responsibility to be selfish... She rolled her eyes. "That's a lot of responsibility. I'm not sure you can handle how selfish you want to be," she quipped.
Theory wriggled back and forth on her spine, letting the sand dig in real good and itch at parts she couldn't reach normally. Just when she thought Sparrow couldn't get any more Sparrow, she threw out an insane offer: to leave everything behind and join the Pirates. She sucked in a big breath of air so she could belly laugh to the sky, ending it by choking and sputtering and staggering to her paws again, covered in glittering sand. "When I retire, I'm all yours. I'll give myself permission to be selfish then, alright?" Her eyes glimmered with humor, but there was sincerity hiding there. She meant it.
Theory wriggled back and forth on her spine, letting the sand dig in real good and itch at parts she couldn't reach normally. Just when she thought Sparrow couldn't get any more Sparrow, she threw out an insane offer: to leave everything behind and join the Pirates. She sucked in a big breath of air so she could belly laugh to the sky, ending it by choking and sputtering and staggering to her paws again, covered in glittering sand. "When I retire, I'm all yours. I'll give myself permission to be selfish then, alright?" Her eyes glimmered with humor, but there was sincerity hiding there. She meant it.
![](https://i.ibb.co/59kz3pc/theo-sig-timelapse.png)
04-24-2022, 04:10 PM
Theory tussled with her and mentioned that it was a lot of responsibility to manage how selfish Sparrow was. Sparrow held no offense, but squeezed her cousin a little extra hard, "Exactly! Which is why I need help! Your help!" Theory wriggled and Sparrow thought she looked something like a bird when they try to dust under their wings. Which really meant she looked ridiculous as she briefly considered Sparrow's offer before laughing in her face about it. She said she'd join when she retired. Sparrow flopped dramatically in the sand, "Ugh! Knowing you that'll be in like 80 years and I'll have died a thousand times over from pissing off the wrong alphas and wrong husbands of very pretty women that I couldn't resist in the meantime."
Sparrow did her own little floppy flop while doing her best tantrum of sighs and grunts before she finally landed on her side, looking at Theory with what could only be the hints of an even worse offer yet to come, "Unless... Why don't we get you knocked up? Give you an heir? Retire with the pirates in two year's time?" Sparrow leaned on her elbows, toothy smile displayed proudly. She was only joking a little, Theory was great, they could find her a man in no time.
Sparrow did her own little floppy flop while doing her best tantrum of sighs and grunts before she finally landed on her side, looking at Theory with what could only be the hints of an even worse offer yet to come, "Unless... Why don't we get you knocked up? Give you an heir? Retire with the pirates in two year's time?" Sparrow leaned on her elbows, toothy smile displayed proudly. She was only joking a little, Theory was great, they could find her a man in no time.
![](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/448183316005257228/950174016373653594/sparow_by_wolf_and_fig.png?width=959&height=854)
Sparrow has a female Harlequin Macaw named Pongolo and a male Capuchin monkey named Friar, and a hairless mushroom tuxedo cat named Beef Sandwich. She also has cat claws... and some weird leg spike things.
05-16-2022, 02:48 PM
She flopped over on her side when Sparrow relinquished smooshing her. "Well, you'll just have to try slightly harder not to die a million times. I'm already going a little grey, I can't take any more stress!" she lamented, tilting her head so that Sparrow could see the small spatter of white hairs creeping further outside the barriers of her markings. "At least, I think I am. Am I? Going grey?" Theo thought she had spotted some in her reflection in the calmer part of the rapids, but moving water made it difficult to track. When Sparrow mentioned so eloquently getting her knocked up, she averted her eyes out to the sea. "It's funny, I do feel ready to have children... but I don't have a single prospect for the other half of the puzzle. Not that that is an invitation for you to try and solve it!" she barked.
![](https://i.ibb.co/59kz3pc/theo-sig-timelapse.png)
05-25-2022, 07:32 PM
Theory unconvincingly told Sparrow she'd have to try to not die a million times and that she was already going grey. Sparrow guffawed and scoffed. "If you're going grey, it is only because your white is spreading." she retorted. They were still young yet!
Theory also mentioned she DID want kids, but that she didn't have a prospect. She tried to stammer that it wasn't something for Sparrow to solve, but Sparrow held up her paw, "Ah-a-a! I'm thinking!" she said with a mischievous grin. "There's so many good candidates! Oh- Artisan has a great coat! And he'd probably let you keep the pups all to yourself! Or Hyacinth. They're brothers. Or you could do them both at the same time and get a grab bag of pups!" She ribbed Theory, nudging her with the non-spiked part of her elbow. "Whaddya say? Should I call them and send y'all to the pirate ship for some booty?"
Theory also mentioned she DID want kids, but that she didn't have a prospect. She tried to stammer that it wasn't something for Sparrow to solve, but Sparrow held up her paw, "Ah-a-a! I'm thinking!" she said with a mischievous grin. "There's so many good candidates! Oh- Artisan has a great coat! And he'd probably let you keep the pups all to yourself! Or Hyacinth. They're brothers. Or you could do them both at the same time and get a grab bag of pups!" She ribbed Theory, nudging her with the non-spiked part of her elbow. "Whaddya say? Should I call them and send y'all to the pirate ship for some booty?"
![](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/448183316005257228/950174016373653594/sparow_by_wolf_and_fig.png?width=959&height=854)
Sparrow has a female Harlequin Macaw named Pongolo and a male Capuchin monkey named Friar, and a hairless mushroom tuxedo cat named Beef Sandwich. She also has cat claws... and some weird leg spike things.
06-13-2022, 04:22 PM
Do them both at the same time. Do what now!? Theo resisted the urge to gag - but then leaned into it and gagged long and hard, complete with spittle, for comedic effect. "Thank you - I think? I appreciate the effort, but, uh, I'll pass." She slurped any loose spit back in her mouth and kept staring resignedly up at the sky. "It's not about someone's coat, I wanted... I thought I'd have a partner by now, you know? Someone I could trust. My father bedded how many before my age - and I can't even snag one?" she groaned. This one-on-one time with Sparrow was the only time she felt like she could really complain. Her pack expected her to be a leader - she'd led them so far with a certain sense of decorum. And it was exhausting.
![](https://i.ibb.co/59kz3pc/theo-sig-timelapse.png)
06-19-2022, 06:40 PM
Theory gagged comedically and Sparrow rolled around cackling obnoxiously as she said she'd pass. When Sparrow quieted down, Theory went on to relate herself to her dad and now it was Sparrow's turn to gag, "Yeah, but one was his cousin and honestly, if that's what you're here for, I'm gonna have to pass." Sparrow faked another gag, tossing herself onto her back. "But I mean, yanno, I found love or something once and now she's off making pups for Sirius' son and probably training them to have no fun ever while they trap her in the pack and never let her go anywhere because they love her more than I could ever or something." Sparrow grimaced. Other than a dick, what did Azure have that she didn't? It didn't make sense to her. It would never make sense to her. Had they not laid next to each other and talked about their dreams? Did they not travel the world together, side by side, sharing their bed? "Love doesn't make sense, and it opens you up for way more hurt than it's worth." Sparrow tried to smooth the wrinkling of her nose. "You're probably too busy leading your pack to find someone to fuck or love. I, for one, haven't fucked a single wolf- nor multiple wolves- since the pirates became a pack, and I definitely haven't found anything even close to love." She rolled her eyes, "So, I dunno, if you want pups, go make yourself some pups, mate or no mate. OR maybe stop being an alpha and focus on being a good date, a good girlfriend, wife, mother, whatever you want."
![](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/448183316005257228/950174016373653594/sparow_by_wolf_and_fig.png?width=959&height=854)
Sparrow has a female Harlequin Macaw named Pongolo and a male Capuchin monkey named Friar, and a hairless mushroom tuxedo cat named Beef Sandwich. She also has cat claws... and some weird leg spike things.