tell me about it
fern
02-14-2022, 08:52 PM
Laeta shuffled to the yard’s clearing, her steps clearly steadier but her balance still uneasy. Her strides would quicken ever so slightly - yet still stumbled over her toes as Mel hurriedly rushed to her side again - as she wished to reach the quieter, more private areas of the garden, beneath an awning of various vines and brambles. Flowers of pinks, oranges, and reds spotted the dark green mass over the grassy path upon which she finally came to sit, her joints popping softly as she did so. Her arthritis was improving with Deion’s treatments, but it would never fully resolve. Some damage was not about to be unwound. ”My lady, you should be careful on your feet! Y-you’re improving each day, no doubt, but your strength will return in time..just not right now,” Mel said softly to the woman, beady monocled eyes glancing up with furrowed brow to match. Laeta merely smiled. She’d barely spoken a word to him the whole journey down to the yard, partially because the badger was so in tune to being her crutch that she need not prompt him aloud. Still, she owed him just enough reassurance. ”Sorry, Mel. I just wanted to see the garden at this time of day. It’s lovely, isn’t it?” She said comfortingly, glancing up towards the beauty of the gardens. She felt someone was coming her way, and heard it too, amidst the chirps, buzzes, and clicks of the summer creatures. Times were good now, everyone was healing..but it never hurt to open up about how rough the healing process could be. ”Speech” ’Thought’ |
comin' up for air in the deepest of the deep ends
i thought i learned it all, but boom, the plot thickens
laeta has a european badger companion named melis. he can speak and is assumed to be with her at all times.
03-05-2022, 03:01 AM
Fern meanders through the gardens of the castle, eyes looking but not seeing the flowers that sit in their beds. Dusk starts to paint the sky and the gray girl looks up to the softening light. Truly, this is picture perfect and any wolf would feel blessed to witness it. Sadness tugs Fern head back down and she continues to plod along, weaving her way along well-cultivated paths. Memories pull at the gray girl, drowning her in moments past. Uncertainty, wars within her gray chest and the distracted girl does not see Laeta and Mel until she almost right on top of them. Giving a start, Fern tumbles out of her memories to blink wide, stunned eyes at the pair. Immediately Fern ducks her head sheepishly and says, “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.” Taking a step back, Fern looks to the older wolf who has a special place in her heart and offers a small smile. Puff is up in the room they share with Rudyard, taking a long nap before dinner. Honestly, the stoat seems to sleep more then she is awake but that doesn’t stop Fern still from loving her little friend. Looking from Laeta to Mel, the small smile grows as Fern asks, “How are you doing Laeta? You are getting stronger every day! Are you listening to Mel?” The smile is wide and she gives the older wolf a wink, trying to distract from herself. She works to try and hide the worry and doubt that swirl just below the surface. But a smile can only do so much. Sadness hides in the corners of Fern’s eyes as she casts her gaze over to the flowers near Laeta. "Fern Lark" |
Fern has a female stoat companion named Puff. She is always nearby.
03-10-2022, 09:50 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-10-2022, 09:51 PM by Laeta. Edited 1 time in total.)
Upon observing the sadness lingering within her glowing irises, Laeta paused before speaking up, perhaps careful not to open up any wounds that might already be bleeding inside, she asked kindly and warmly, "Is anything troubling you, Fern?" She meant it in the most genuine, harmless way - only prompting as much as Fern wished to tell her. ”Speech” ’Thought’ |
comin' up for air in the deepest of the deep ends
i thought i learned it all, but boom, the plot thickens
laeta has a european badger companion named melis. he can speak and is assumed to be with her at all times.
03-14-2022, 03:00 AM
Fern isn’t the only one caught by surprise, she realizes, as Laeta jumps slightly at her sudden appearance. Oops. Shyly, the gray girl ducks her head mumbling her apologies to the older wolf. Mel adjusts his monocle and a smile pulls her lips up, the dapper badger always makes the gray girl happy. His serious demeanor and kind heart is only matched by his companion who is one of kindest wolves she knows. Fern realizes that Laeta was the first real friend she had made in The Hallows (aside from Rudy), and when the older woman offers her a small smile with a polite bow and kind words, the gray girl finds herself watches the wolf’s shaky frame with great worry. Luckily, Laeta decides to sit down on her own before Mel and Fern decide to she needs to take a seat. The small crunching noises that accompany the movements and seem to originate from the charcoal wolf’s knees, have Fern wincing in sympathy. While she, personally, does not know the pain of arthritis, any part of the body makes those unnatural sounds must hurt. Once Laeta is seated, the smile on Fern’s light lips grows as she looks from Laeta to Mel, inquiring lightly about the woman’s recovery. The badger’s long-suffering sigh has the gray girl trying (and failing) to stifle a giggle that bubbles up. Fern listens to the report, nodding about Laeta’s dream to explore Auster. Casting a glance to Mel, the gray girl says, “Well, when Mel deems you fit enough to travel, we could go explore some nearby places. There are some beautiful waterfalls not too far from here.” The attempt to deflect attention from herself is met with an inquiry about Puff and Fern offers a soft chuckle as she explains, “Puff needed to take a nap. We get up really early and Puff isn’t always a morning stoat. She’ll be down a little later.” The girl’s mind wanders to the training she does every morning, how he raises long before Rudyard even dreams of waking up. Laeta is insightful and inquires what is bothering her, the girl’s mind snapping back to the present. Fern hesitates a moment, uncertain if she should be bothering the healing woman with her thoughts. Hesitantly, she says, “I don’t want to bother you Laeta. You don’t need to worry about me on top of everything you are dealing with.” Ocean-hued eyes crinkle in worry for her friend, the gray girl unconsciously shifting her weight from side to side. She chews the inside of her cheek while looking to Laeta, the gray girl wants to share her personal worries but is afraid it might hinder the woman’s recovery. The wooden training sword that is buckled to her back feels heavy and the hilt suddenly starts poking into her neck. Maybe it is a silent attempt to get the girl to spill. Still, she waits. "Fern Lark" |
Fern has a female stoat companion named Puff. She is always nearby.
03-22-2022, 08:55 AM
However, it was Fern’s deflection that left the older woman’s concern lingering on her features. No, Fern wasn’t all okay, she knew that for certain. Laeta read other wolves like scholars read books - seeing beyond the pages to the real meanings of words beneath. Just as she saw the lingering sadness in the girl’s bright eyes. She expected the woman to deflect, and decided to try and pry gently. Just a little further. She even seemed like there were things in her mind, and Lae noted the uneasy shifting and biting of her cheek with a soft tilt of her head. A soft, sympathetic expression crossed her features, as if hoping to try and bring her comfort of some kind. Upon seeing the heavy sword on the girl’s back, Laeta first mentioned, "The sword on your back seems a tad heavy. Maybe you’d like to take it off for a bit? There’s nothing wrong with taking a little break now and then," She said, smiling softly. Perhaps it would prompt the girl to relax a bit more - the sword on her back certainly could create pressure, and perhaps aggravate her anxiety within. Maybe it was a metaphor for her struggles, sitting heavy upon her back. It didn’t look all the comfortable. With a pause, she added, "Don’t worry about me, Fern. I find myself rejuvenated - I have so much kindness I wish to return to the pack that took me in and cared for me - so with this kindness, I wish to help you." Her brow crinkled slightly as she added, "I know how it feels to not want to burden others. But I promise your worries are anything but that - and it may help to share your struggles so that you don’t have to shoulder them alone." Oh, how her words echoed her mother’s so perfectly. It was as if she could feel her spirit around her, guiding her towards a better purpose in this pack - one that help to relieve the hurt and pain her packmates carried in their minds. ”Speech” ’Thought’ |
comin' up for air in the deepest of the deep ends
i thought i learned it all, but boom, the plot thickens
laeta has a european badger companion named melis. he can speak and is assumed to be with her at all times.
04-08-2022, 06:28 PM
The talk of visiting the nearby waterfalls has Laeta’s eyes sparkling brightly and the smile that tugs the gray girl’s lips up is full of happiness. Tail wags slowly as the older woman speaks of always enjoying waterfalls and the warmth in the words causes a sudden sense of melancholy in Fern. The smile falters and fades while she speaks of Puff and the small smile she offers Laeta as the woman speaks is not as bright and does not reach her eyes like the many that have followed before it. Still, the girl doesn’t want to bother the healing woman and she tries to brush off her friends worry. Sadness lingers in the corners of her eyes and, when she sees the concern on her friend’s face, the gray girl ducks her head in shame. She is supposed to be strong! She survived by herself after Meadow died, she had forged a life when she thought she had none left. With her gaze turned down to her paws, Fern feels the heat of shame warming her neck and spreading out along her cheeks. The gray girl misses the sympathetic expression that crosses Laeta’s features, her pale paws holding her attention. Gentle words filter into her brain and Fern’s eyes dart up to check if the woman is angry at her. Seeing not traces of anger in her body and hearing none in the words, the gray girl gives a short nod to her friend. Quickly, she unbuckles the strap that keeps the sheath attached to her back and gently pulls the sword off, settling it on the ground near her paws. Her gaze lingers on the wooden training sword for a moment as Laeta’s soft words soothe the worry of the girl. Brows crinkle as Fern ponders how she can put into words all the emotions that are running rampant within her. Finally, her eyes start to slowly track up Laeta’s legs, taking their time to find the woman’s gentle, caring ruby gaze. Words lodge in her throat for a moment as the gray girl remembers that look but it came from a different set of eyes. Glittering emeralds that she never again see. Eyes widen a fraction, her forehead relaxing as a sad, wistful expression settles across her face. Emotions choke the words that start to flow, sometimes strangling her voice and causing the girl to pause in an attempt to regroup herself. Softly, she says, “I will be two at the turn of the seasons. I… I don’t know why… I am feeling all this. A part of me worries that all the happiness I have found here will just disappear one day. Sometimes I am afraid this is all a dream. I… I love it here Laeta.” Tears prick the corners of Fern’s wide eyes, the girl fighting a losing battle to keep the liquid from filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. But, still she fights it. Sniffing softly, the girl says, “I lost everything when I was about six months old. I never thought I would find happiness again. But now that I have...” Her voice trails off, eyes widening even more as Fern gives Laeta a pleading, terrified look. Silently, she begs the woman to understand why she is so scared of every good thing she has. One day changed the course of her life before, ripping away her mother, siblings and the band they been traveling with. What if something like that happens again? Fern feels her breathing pick up as she starts to hyperventilate, eyes leaving Laeta’s form in search of escape route. The overwhelming urge to run away suddenly grips her. "Fern Lark" |
Fern has a female stoat companion named Puff. She is always nearby.
04-19-2022, 08:36 AM
”If it would help, I can assure you you’re not in a dream, Fern,” She smiled, offering reassurance in her honey-smooth voice and soft eyes, ”You have worked so hard to get to where you are now. I don’t need to know you to such deep depths to know you are a dedicated warrior, and a kind-hearted one, too. That hard work, effort, and friendship is not so easily lost. A mere dream cannot conjure such relationships you’ve built with others, and on that matter, you will always have a friend in me to confide to, if you need it. The Hallows is a loving home for you, and that will never change.” As the girl continued afterwards, the woman’s heart broke at the sound of the girl’s sniffles. She frowned a brief moment, merely in sympathy. As Fern spoke, she began to hyperventilate. While Mel seemed alarmed, murmuring for the girl to take deep breaths in his own worried manner, Laeta would aim to gently place one of her paws on top of Fern’s, the way one might hold another’s hand in comfort. ”Take a deep breath, dear Fern,” She said soothingly. ”Losing the ones you loved, or a life you’ve built before, is one of the most painful things anyone can experience in their lifetime. I understand." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. Once Fern would calm down, she added with her soft, comforting smile curling her lips again, ”Though we can never replace what he have lost, we can build ourselves up again. We can build new opportunities, new adventures, and meet new people. We can build a new hope that this life will again being us the happiness we once lost. You have found that happiness, so hold onto it. Hold onto it tight, and never let it go. It is the very light that will keep you going, even when the path ahead of you seems dark. ” She glanced up at Fern’s pained eyes, her tears, her fear. She reminded Lae of a younger version of herself - casted out from her pack for reasons she never quite understood, having to rebuild her sense of identity and purpose. Like a phoenix rising from its ashes, she had found her happiness, and Fern would surely find her own. ”Change is scary, Fern. Life changes in ways we cannot anticipate. But holding onto what you value most, and hold on to people you’ve met here, and those changes might not be so scary.” She hoped her words rang some truth, for she was speaking partially from her own experience at Fern’s age. She wouldn’t say she was old, but she certainly had endured a lifetime of experiences, some of which she hoped Fern would never have to endure herself. Her legs trembled slightly from exertion, and the woman shifted back in her haunches briefly, but only to allow soace for Fern to process her words and her own feelings in the moment. ”Speech” ’Thought’ |
comin' up for air in the deepest of the deep ends
i thought i learned it all, but boom, the plot thickens
laeta has a european badger companion named melis. he can speak and is assumed to be with her at all times.
04-19-2022, 06:15 PM
There is something about being here in the garden with Latea and Mel, somehting about giving voice to her deepest, darkest fears that frightens Fern. These are supposed to be her burdens to carry alone; to cry about when one is looking. And yet, the moment she opens her mouth to share her emotional, halting words, a weight feels like it is beginning to lift. Latea’s voice is soft as silk and smooth as honey, gently assuring her that this is not a dream and, in spite of everything she is feeling, her lips curl upward in a small smile. The monochrome woman’s ruby gaze is soft and loving, something in them reminding the sad girl of days long past, when she would cry about the injustices of the world to her mother, Meadow. She remembers the tender way Meadow would wrap her legs around her small frame, holding the young Fern while silently listening to every word that passed the pup’s lips. And her eyes… Fern gives herself a mental shake as the caring, sympathetic look that Latea gives her reminds the girl of the gentle, motherly figure she misses. The tears come and panic settles over her as she begins to hyperventilate, Mel’s worried voice telling her to take deep breathes not quite registering in her mind. The world spins away, the need to escape is overwhelming her; until she feels a gentle paw come to rest on top of own. It grounds Fern; the touch a reminder that she is not alone chasing away the fear. Slowly, her eyes track over to the paw, following it up until she finds that loving ruby gaze again. Taking several deep breathes, she feels her breathing even out as Latea soothes the panicked girl. She hangs on every word, the acknowledgement of her pain is, somehow, more cathartic then Fern ever imagined possible. Latea sees her, recognizes the girl’s painful past and still accepts her. Tears prick the corners of Fern’s eyes again but for an entirely different reason this time. She listens intently to every word and, when Latea’s voice stops, Fern finds herself wishing she could hear more. Her gaze falls down to her own pale paws as she ponders the feelings that swirl inside and what Latea has said; the silent introspection she has dreaded for so long is finally happening. Emotions pass across her face; sadness, anger, acceptance, longing all making appearances. Finally, she releases a deep sigh, once more meeting Latea’s kind eyes as Fern admits, “I have spent so long angry at my mother for getting herself killed. I watched her from a hiding spot as she picked herbs in field. She… had wandered too far from the others and, when that tiger attacked…” Eyes suddenly squeeze shut in an attempt to ward off the vivid, gory memories that always appear. Shaking her head, tears leaking out from her closed eyes, she chokes out, “I know it wasn’t her fault but… it hurt. I miss her so much Latea.” Watery blue eyes make a reappearance as Fern looks to Latea, the sudden desire to share her whole story and be heard filling the girl. Swallowing, she gives a small sniff before continuing, “When I finally crawled out of my hiding spot three days later, the band we had tagged along with were gone. I had no one and… I was just so angry.” Shame fills her chest and she gives her gray head a shake, unable to fully voice the loathing she had for Meadow… and herself. Shoulders slump as she continues on, “There was one bright point for me. Mother had always told me, if anything went wrong, to seek out her sister Resin. That she would take care of me.” A small, sad smile appears as she says, “I held onto that hope through the dark nights and long, lonely days. It kept me going when I had no other reason to. I came to these lands during the long night and.. that is when I lost everything again. I realized I was just that scared pup hiding in the shadows as she watched her mother die again. I… never want to feel that way again.” Eyes fall to the ground as she waits to hear what Latea thinks of her now. "Fern Lark" |
Fern has a female stoat companion named Puff. She is always nearby.