Bellamy had barely gotten out of the gulley when unconsciousness took her. At least in that state, without dreams, without being awake, she could slip into the cold embrace of darkness alone. It was during that state she found any peace, any sense of relief from the things that plagued her mind. If she had been lost before, Bellamy wouldn’t know what to make of herself when her green eyes slowly flicked open this time. She was laying on her good shoulder, body flat on soft, wet earth. She had cleaned and sheathed her knife sometime after staggering away from… who was it again? Bellamy furrowed her brow as she tried to piece together the events that happened… Gods how long ago? Nothing felt clear. Her head was still swimming, lost in wave after wave, feeling thoughts beat against her brain in a way that wasn’t clear or straightforward. She longed for them to stop, to leave her alone, but they lingered, festering like the infection of some wound. …wound… Bellamy grunted, aware of her right shoulder feeling like it was on fire. She didn’t look at it, nor did she attempt to move and clean the injury. She didn’t try to get up at all or move much either. Even though it hurt, there was no instinct to move and try to clean the injury. Like the cuts she’d received from the glacier Bellamy was ignoring the injury. It hurt, Divinities above it felt like a chunk of her shoulder had been ripped clean off. She closed her eyes again, her breathing feeling heavy due to the thick, muggy fog. At least she was alone. There was no Gavroche here to be roped into her pain… nor her little girl. Gavroche had always advocated for her, always tried to make her feel… better. She could feel that heavy feeling washing over her again, tears starting to form once more. She was scared… scared of herself. Scared of hurting him or Lucette. Everything she had been running from, everything she had been trying to get away from, had caught up to her and was trying to drag her down again. She shouldn’t have woken back up, she told herself. She should have been dead. So why wasn’t she? Why was everyone showing her mercy?! The tears started to roll down her cheeks again even though she tried to hold them back. Not even her eyes staying closed was enough to keep them held back now. She didn’t know herself anymore. Everything she thought she knew… who was she, really? Was she really a monster? A scared little girl, hiding behind false strength? She didn’t know. She really just… ...didn’t know. "Speech" 'Thought.'

Our lives are made in these small hours He was out and about, the first time since he had been patched up. He wasn't doing better mentally but he was still trying. That was all luce could ask of him honestly, to fight back for his happiness. He padded into the swamp, looking for some stuff for Luce that she could use in her healing. His pace wasn't hurried and he kept in mind to stay out of deep water and keep his stitched wound clean. He was sure luce was fine with him moving about some now, the wound was closing nicely and wasn't infected so it was well on the mend. His gait stopped as he caught scent of something familiar, or rather someone. He shook out his Pelt to drive the shadows farther from his vision if that was possible, he knew it wouldn't work, but he could try. He turned in the direction the scent was, strange, he was sure bells and gav had moved to a pack, but she wasn't near one that he knew of. He caught a smell that told him more, and his pace quickened. There was blood. Had she been attacked? Or had she snapped again? Where was gav? As he came into view he slowed down and took her form into account. She was laying there bloody, beaten. His ears pressed back and wordlessly he approached. He kept his eyes on her as his demon circled and sat with her. He had seen his demon comfortable before and that was never a good thing. "Bellamy? What happened to you?" he sat across from her, looking haggard and like he was losing sleep. His paws pulled close to him as he was prepared for her to snap, though she looked like shit so he figured she wouldn't. He was within reach of her though so he could stop her getting up if need be. Her shoulder looked pretty bad. She was going to need gav or luce, and luce was the closest right now since he didn't know where to find gav. He could move her but that might risk her shoulder. Any warrior could recognize a mark that would leave a scar and this certainly was one of those. Walk, "talk", Think These little wonders these twists and turns of fate

_{Art by Asena}

Bellamy kept her eyes closed as the tears fell. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She was tired, so tired of running, of fighting… The woman felt exhausted, ready to just lay there until the end of her days. She didn’t care if she died anymore. She wanted everything to stop. She wanted to stop hurting, to stop suffering… she wanted to stop lashing out at others… …but apparently, the Divinities, being the little shits they were, couldn’t leave well enough alone. She heard a voice, familiar, speak her name. “Oh for fucks sake…” The woman groaned. Couldn’t they just let her die in peace!? No, they had to send her a yearling to check up on her. Not just any yearling, either. But it had to be the rainbow-marked yearling that her daughter had befriended. Bae-Syl. As if she wasn’t awkward enough with the kid now he had to see her in what had to be the worst state she’d ever been in. “Do yourself a favor, kid, and pretend you didn’t see me. Leave.” Her eyes had opened, and through bleary eyes, she glared at him for a brief moment before she looked away from him. “Fucking Divinities… is this your idea of some divine intervention?! Am I just some fucking plaything you let ruin its own life for your amusement?! Huh?!” Her voice raised but if Bae-Syl listened closely he could hear the hurt in the woman’s words. It was clear enough by how she barely raised her head to curse the ones she faulted for her demise. They had wanted a monster… …and she was one. …she’d always be one. "Speech" 'Thought.'

Our lives are made in these small hours Her eyes opened and he was looking her directly in the eyes. At least she wasn't dead. She gave him what could of been a order after a groan but Bae-Syl wasn't known for being smart nor one to follow orders. A sigh came out. "I dont think Gav or Luce would forgive me for that...." she was probably already aware of that though. And he wasn't in the habit of upsetting Lucy. She then started yelling at what she called divinities. He flinched. Was she able to see her demons too? Did she think they were gods? "Can you see them too then?....." he didn't like admiting. Though if she was seeing things too that could be an important piece of her puzzle. He knew she had it bad as a slave before but he didn't know how bad or how deep her trauma went. His eyes flicked to the shadowy figure hanging over her, his own demon. Surely she didn't see it. That would put her on a whole new level. His was tall, hairless, sinewy and canine like with blood red eyes. He knew this demon well but what about hers? Walk, "talk", Think These little wonders these twists and turns of fate

_{Art by Asena}

Bellamy let out a grunt at Bae-Syl’s response. Of course they wouldn’t. She knew it well enough, she had been counting on the youth to not open his mouth and say anything. But, of course, he had to have that white-knight sort of personality. Bellamy let out a grunt of response. She just had to get involved with someone like Gav, have a kid… Lucette had already been afraid when she saw her angry… what would her daughter say to know she had lunged for a pregnant woman? That she got her ass handed to her by some man that she hated for hurting the only other person who dared to care about her? Bellamy growled, hating herself, and hating them. “...?!” His question, however… caused Bellamy to visibly flinch as she looked back at him with wide eyes. “You… you see them!?” Hearing that was a small sense of relief for the distressed female. She tried to twist, to get to her belly, as she fixed Bae-Syl with a serious look. “I was sure Chaos’ madness had taken me. I could feel myself slipping… mortals… we’re not supposed to see them… not the Divinities, not Guardians or Dreamends, not even their helpers… yet…” Bellamy’s gaze fell to her paws, the pain enough to make her waver as a whimper fell from her lips. “I saw them as I left the fight, the fight that left my shoulder looking like shit.” She didn’t look towards the injury now as she spoke, keeping her eyes on Bae. “The forsaken Divinities… the lost twins…” Her voice had become quiet. “Delusion and Calamity… speaking their name is an ill omen… yet I doubt it can get much darker than where I am now.” She lowered her gaze. “The chimeric one showed themselves to me… a promise of corruption for those whose hearts are already tainted with insanity and malice… But… they’re not the only one I saw…” Bellamy was shaking again. “I saw the lynx too, their helper… The one known as Chaos. He’s here now…” She looked off to their tight, ears pinning back against her skull. In her vision, she could see the shadowy figure of the mutated lynx. “He doesn’t approach, but he’s here, waiting, waiting for a chance…” Another whine slipped past her lips. “I don’t want… I can’t let these things get Gavroche or Lucy… I can’t…” She flicked her attention back to Bae-Syl, pleading with him again. “You need to run, and keep Lucette far away from me, do you understand!?” Her voice raised again. “I’m a monster! I’ve killed before, innocents, I’ll do it again!” She squeezed her eyes tightly closed as she continued to shake. “I can’t let that happen… I can’t… let these things make me get them…!” She gritted her teeth. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotions she felt right now. She was lost, and struggling, giving in to her own inner demons. She felt like there was no way back… no saving herself this time… …and that nagging voice deep within told her she deserved it. "Speech" 'Thought.'

Our lives are made in these small hours Perhaps he shouldn't of asked. She seemed more distressed at the thought he saw demons, or what she called dreamends. He remembered what luce had told him. He waited though for her to finish her tirade. Shaking his head he moved and placed his front paw on her uninjured shoulder. She was going to go into an episode if she kept this up he felt. "Calm yourself Bellamy, then I will tell you about the one I call my demon." he would wait calmly. She needed to breath and stop writhing. He moved to sit next to her and slowly moved to clean her wound. Luce would kill him if he didn't make sure it was clean and whatnot. So while she hopefully calmed herself he cleaned her wound. He didn't care if she protested, his mother had been a healer and her own mate and daughter were healers so the likelihood that she would get away with a dirty wound was nigh impossible. Only once he was satisfied did he stop, though unlike luce when she had cleaned his wound he didn't look disgusted. He had tasted blood and meat from wolves before, and he had a feeling Bellamy would be able to connect the dots one day anyway so he swallowed not even caring. Once her wound was clean he sighed and looked at her. When he determined she was calmed somewhat he would start. His eyes traveled to his demon, where she sat almost curling about him now. "You heard her voice mingle with mine the day I threatened you over Lucy..... She's always there and has been since I was born. I call her my demon, and her eyes are so deep red they match that of blood. I've never given her a name, mom said if I did I would give her power over me. She's tall and furless, all muscle and vaguely canine." he spoke quietly almost like a man who was losing a battle. He was acknowledging her and that in itself wasn't good according to his mother. "I dont think your dreamends and my demons are so different, my family believes that our demons and us are one in the same though. And I see more than just her but the rest are like shadows in my vision. They all keep their distance, aware she has a claim on me, that I am hers to keep for eternity. That i would be her vessel if I didn't fight back." he moved his eyes to Bellamy then. He was about to admit something horrible to her maybe. But he felt like she needed to know, know that she wasn't alone. "I almost stopped fighting her... but then I found Lucy..... I fight now not for myself, but for her. If I stopped, I couldn't imagine the pain I would inflict on her. My demon, she has threatened Lucy, I cant let her do it. And you, you can't stop trying, imagine the pain you would put on luce and Gav.... they love you, you know that." he couldn't fix Bellamy but maybe he could help. He had to wonder if this was somehow guilt over attacking him though. Or if she really had a sickness and was seeing demons like he did. Walk, "talk", Think These little wonders these twists and turns of fate

_{Art by Asena}

The woman felt like the world was crashing around her again. She didn’t know if she could handle this, the overwhelming emotions that threatened to rise up yet again. She was afraid of herself, of what she saw… She didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t anymore. How much of this was caused by the fallen twins and their helper, and how much was caused by her alone? How did she make these feelings stop? How did she keep herself from being a monster? Was there any hope at all? She felt like such a freak, a beast, a creature who was damned to walk alone. Maybe it was fitting… she had sinned after all. Her thoughts were broken by a gentle paw on her uninjured shoulder. She blinked open her teary eyes to find Bae-Syl was still there, refusing to run. Refusing to save himself or protect Lucette as she begged him to. Her ears remained fallen, a whimper leaving her lips as he spoke. Calm herself… How? How could she stop all the thoughts, these feelings from crashing over her? She wanted to protest, to tell him it was impossible, yet something in the yearling’s action had started a shift… …and instead, Bellamy drew in a shaky breath. Being calm had never been her strong suit. She had always reacted on pure emotion and energy… and maybe that was the problem. She didn’t know how to healthy manage herself. Gavroche had been doing what he could for her, taking the burden of her actions on his shoulders, but it wasn’t his burden to bear. She was the one lashing out, reacting this way… She drew in another breath as Bae-Syl sat beside her. Breathe, a small voice within her whispered. Breathe. Focus on that. She eyed him, not piecing together what he was doing until she felt his tongue over the injury. A sharp intake of breath and a “Fuck!” Was her response. It had hurt like a bitch before, but now that it was getting tended to that pain flared wildly from the injury. She never did get used to the feeling of properly being treated. Hell, before Gavroche she was lucky if she even bothered to wash a wound. It was a wonder how the woman had survived without proper care. Perhaps a small act of mercy from the Divinities she believed in. Bells didn’t look at him as he cleaned, and only once his tongue stopped that repetitive motion did she glance his way. She noticed his sense of calm and didn’t pick up on him spitting the blood out. That was… interesting. She furrowed her brow a little. Gav always did… as did Lucy… He began to speak and Bellamy remained silent, focusing on his voice rather than the emotions that threatened to rise up once again. Yet, as Bae-Syl spoke, the woman grew rigid. Her gaze narrowed, shock crossing onto her face. “This… demon… sounds like one of the descriptions of one of the Elementals of Majofionism...” She was trying to remain calm, not overreact. She didn’t want to risk doing what Bae-Syl said he had been avoiding as well, which was naming her and giving her power over the youth. Still, there was no question about which Elemental the rainbow-marked youth had just described. The woman of fire herself, Seethe. It was no wonder that the man was quiet, speaking as though he was losing a battle. If the Elemental had chosen to harass him specifically, a woman who was essentially a Dreamend and Goddess in one, then he would have no easy fight. She whined loudly, keeping her ears pinned against her skull. She didn’t think they were so different either. “I’ve always been told that a weaker wolf could become a vessel for a Dreamend… Maybe they’re really one and the same…” She glanced down at her paws, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. “...” She could feel herself trembling again. “She’s threatened Lucy!?” Her voice raised again, a growl bubbling in her throat as she staggered to her paws. She couldn’t see that one, Seethe, like Bae-Syl could, but she was damn sure the woman would hear her. She bristled, head spinning around as if she was trying to locate the woman. Her fur was on end, and though she favored the injured leg, she had a look of thunder on her face as she spoke. “You listen to me and you listen to me well,” She snarled. “I don’t care if you’re a demon, a dreamend, an Elemental, or a fucking GOD,” Her gaze narrowed. “You lay a paw on my child and I will rip your sorry hide straight out of existence and drag you to the Hellgates!” Her gaze shot to Bae-Syl. “You are not to let her win, do you UNDERSTAND!?” There was a fire back in her eyes now. The woman didn’t care about herself, but when it came to someone else threatening her family… she could give a fuck if they were mortal or not. “If I hear she uses your body as a vessel to harm my baby, you’ll join her faster than you can blink.” She exhaled. “...and if you won’t run, then you make the same vow to me.” Her voice, still serious, did not falter. “If I ever become a threat to them, whether it is my action or another’s, you take me out. Got it? If these things were going to be a potential threat, if he really wanted her to go back to her loved ones, she needed some type of reassurance. They weren’t so different… but they would need to keep an eye on one another.  Something rekindled in Bellamy. Hope. It was a faint ember… but… she wasn’t alone in this. Bae-Syl was fighting too. …and maybe they could last the rest of their lives, fighting together, as a family. "Speech" 'Thought.'