Zoey was a fool.

A damn fool.

She should've known better than to cast her eyes from the obvious. To so openly jump into this pack and agree to be mentored by the Warden. To open her heart so fully to everyone in the pack, to explore and be merry. To let go of the past. Because the past caught up to her with teeth and claws, swallowing her whole and dragging her back down to the darkness she thought she'd escaped. The Menagerie had dissolved. Miss Wren was gone. Apparently, some wolves had found blood with her scent on it, the scene of some fight likely instigated by a predator..or perpetrator. They didn't know. But the rest of the words and rumors were drowned out as the yearling crumpled next to the trunk of pine tree, almost in shock. Her head couldn't take it. She'd already been suffering from intense nightmares, the waves of panic at being abandoned yet again. But it did happen. Again. Did life hate her so much it was willing to take her new home, chew it up, and spit it out in some tragic mess? Would she ever find a place to call her own? No. She wouldn't. It had happened to her family, taken away by those fucking mushrooms. Gone. Then it was Abaven, her saving grace and a place she thought she'd stay in forever to cultivate her knowledge and love for studying artifacts. Gone. Then it was the Menagerie, with Miss Audra saving her from being left to rot at the falls that day, taking her to a place she was just beginning to believe would never leave her again.

Gone, gone, gone.

The russet-furred girl bid her goodbyes to Miss Audra as the woman had promised her previous pack she'd return if anything should happen, but the thought of her having a home to return to and the yearling did not brought her indescribable pain. She couldn't move, the only noise from her lips some muffled wails. She was the lost child, all over again. She wasn't a kid but wasn't a capable adult either. Just a lost little girl with nowhere to go. Not a new story, not to her, but it hurt all the same. Her goggles were sat next to her, having had to take them off from the tears she was spilling. Her cheeks were soaked, her nose running, the stillness of the beautiful patch of woodland interrupted by her sniffling and sheer helplessness. She was old enough to pick her self up to her feet and move forward. But the setbacks she'd experienced and the trust she had lost brought her back here, again and again. As a lost child.

Zoey cried out to nothing, to noone, airing out the sheer grief in her sobs so they wouldn't swallow her alive.

Speech

In the midst of the mysterious tragedy that had struck Menagerie, Celeste felt somewhat hopeful. This would be her chance to gather the lost ones from Menagerie's unfortunate downfall and start the new life she had asked for. With her path already beginning to be laid out before her, she moved away from the bloody scene north of the pines. Heading south back toward Ashen so she could report to Venom and gather Kuroki and Cyanide before making any more moves, she was stopped by a noise. At first, it sounded strange, garbled, as if someone else was dying. Confusion riddled her expression as the petite fae looked around the woods. Who in the world was making that racket? Did they want to attract the murderous villains that had slain so many lives? Tilting her nose to the air to scent the direction the sobbing noises came from, Celeste made her way toward the lump laying on the ground. Both aquamarine eyes trained on the russet girl curled up with tears flowing down her face, Celeste wondered if she was a Menagerie member. It wasn't that she was a heartless bitch and didn't care for others' feelings. It was the simple fact that she knew you had to move on in life quickly or you would probably end up dead. Taking a seat directly before the girl with her ivory paws placed neatly together, Celeste cleared her throat loudly. "If you wish to become that which has become of those taken, please sob louder," with one brow raised, she pushed her lips into a firm, flat line. Letting the fact sink in for a few moments, Celeste would wait and see if the girl calmed down enough to listen. "Now, I understand you are probably heartbroken about Wren, rest in peace poor girl," Celeste let out a few disappointed tsks with a shake of her head. "But if you have no family or friends left, it will do you no good to sit here and wallow," she tilts her chin down to get a better look at the sobbing mess of fur.

It was very likely her crying would attract attention - and most likely the wrong kind. In fact, it was nothing short of a miracle the yearling hadn’t become one of those sorry remainders of blood smeared on the frosted ground nearby with her wailing. But she was hurt, her chest was tearing itself apart. And it led to her having little regard for her own life. Why did it matter anyways? The world was a cruel place, and for some reason she seemed fated to have the same, gut-wrenching scenario happen over and over again. Everybody she loved, trusted, poured her heart and soul into had left. Died or disappeared or whatever. And part of her wondered what was the point in continuing this incredibly painful cycle when she’d find herself alone time and time again. There was only so much her heart could take. Her wounds were being continuously torn open, stitched together, then ripped at the seams - with no chance to let it heal. What a sorrowful life. Nothing but utter pain.

So when that feminine voice emerged from her tear-filled stupor, Zoey was tempted to continue crying. To let this voice - be it a possible friend or even the perpetrator behind Miss Wren’s death - silence it for her. But she didn’t. As if from some spurred instinct - was it a deep, inner desire to keep going, even after all the trauma that clawed at her soul? - Zoey ceased her sobbing. Forcing herself to take in a shuddering deep breath, she shakily rose from her position, to sit up and face the source of the sharp voice. It was firm, but not unkind. A smaller woman, cloaked in mottled monochrome, with a pair of ram horns upon her skull and piercing blue-green eyes. Though she didn’t know the figure, and she didn’t have Menagerie scent on her so clearly she was not of the dissolved pack, she took the risk to turn her head to grab her goggles, slipping them on over her swollen eyes to get a clearer view. She didn’t dare speak as the strange woman continued, mentioning Wren’s name and that it did Zoey no good to sit and wallow. Through her puffy gaze, she narrowed them slightly. How did this stranger know Wren? Had she met her before? And who was this stranger to tell her not to grieve when all she had loved and trusted had been ripped away from her in the most tragic and violent of ways? Not just once, but over and over again. The mental pain was excruciating, a static darkness she thought she’d shaken off after Abaven’s dissolvement having come back in full force, consuming her thoughts in his clawed embrace. Dark and heavy and mourning.

Still sniffling, her shoulders twitching as her breaths hitched in her chest, she took a moment to compose herself as she looked at this she-wolf that had come across her. She didn’t know what to think of her. To trust her. Her ability to trust in others was dwindling with each loss she suffered. ”I’ve lost everyone I’ve gotten even remotely close to. I’ve lost two packs, my parents, Miss Wren..” She swallowed thickly, pushing back the wave of tears that no doubt would soak her russet cheeks again. She glanced at her, eyes filled with nothing but the agony of a girl who was completely lost, with nowhere to turn and nobody to lean on. ”I’m not sure how much more I can take.”

Speech

Celeste was far from a loving and cuddly type of wolf. Even as she watched the puddle of a girl sniffle and replace her goggles upon her head, Celeste held a stoic expression. If the girl needed to cry it out, then she should cry it out. Still, she listened to the response given to her with a subtle nod. Releasing a quiet hum as she thought of the best way to approach this, Celeste added on a few tsks before speaking. "You say you do not know how much you can take, but if you do not wish to perish, there is a lot more than you believe," a hint of an optimistic smile tugged at the corners of her ivory lips as she held her gaze upon the girl. "Call me Celeste. I believe I may have a proposition for you. While I cannot dole out promises as the rest have in your past, I can tell you that I plan to start a pack of my own. You look to be a smart girl and could be beneficial to the group. What are you interested in?" Celeste continues to eye her carefully, hoping that steering the topic away from tragedy and more to what the girl enjoyed would help cheer her up. After all, Celeste wasn't the hugging and kissing type so if the girl needed a hug, she'd have to go find a bear... Or someone.

Some part of her was wondering if Celeste had any experience with this level of loss. Maybe she had, from her stoic, rigid calmness in the face of her contrasting emotion. The way she paused, waiting for the yearling to heed her words. This lady had a lot of patience - something Zoey had never really grasped. But perhaps this silence was born out of her own life experiences, and perhaps she was too quick to judge her sternness, thinking it meant a lack of empathy rather than actually understanding. Then the woman pressed forward in her talking, her tongue smooth and unwavering.

Zoey knitted her brows together as the mottled canine mentioned that if Zoey didn't wish to really die, there was more to lose and equally as much to gain in her life. Her smile, gently lifting the corner of her lips, lit something like realization, deep within the girl's own chest. Perhaps this was something she had experienced before, and if Zoey wanted to live, to thrive..she'd have to understand that loss was a bitter but necessary cycle in life. The world was cruel. But it was just as filled with wonder and adventure beyond the scope of her imagination. If only the darkness that settled upon her shoulders would let her experience that as fully as she could as a child. The woman referred to herself as Celeste, and Zoey's expression softened in the slightest curiosity. It was a beautiful name. She couldn't promise that she, too, would disappear from her life as well - and something about this comforted her. Beforehand, everyone in her life promised her they wouldn't leave. And that made their losses all the more painful to bear. Celeste's brutal honesty gave her some expectation that even if she did leave her as well, at least it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad.

Zoey's sorrowful brown eyes flickered with a spark of interest upon mention of Cel's pack she was starting. The russet yearling even managed the softest smile upon being called 'smart', and she thought for a second before looking at Celeste and saying, "Under Abaven, and then the Menagerie, I had an interest in researching not only various flora and fauna native to the packlands, but also an interest in studying artifact and relics left behind by the humans that once lived here. I think the items they left behind may actually serve some purpose to us, in learning how we can adapt and survive in our own packs and environments." Her passion for research and understanding how the world worked was unmatched - she could spend hours just examining a specific item or relic most wolves would simply ignore. She strongly believed that learning about the artifacts left behind and the nature that surrounded them would offer new perspectives on how to survive and live peacefully in the lands. With a soft but deep breath, she tried not to dwell too much on the memories of past mentors, shedding away the pain from her shoulders like a thick coat. She could ignore the static, the nightmares that plagued her, at least for now. She wasn't quite ready to pour her trust into Celeste, but she'd be open to joining her pack, even if it might dissolve again, too. "My name is Zoey, by the way. I hope my talents may be of interest for your pack."

Speech

Celeste could not help but believe that their paths crossed for a reason. As the girl explained how she was interested in exploring and discovering past relics hidden by time, she knew the land she was claiming as her new home would be the perfect place. Keeping the gentle smile on her ivory lips, she reached out to pat Zoey on the shoulder. "A pleasure, Zoey. I think you'll fit right in. I don't plan on giving anyone stern rank requirements and ranking up will be easy as long as the effort is put into it," she takes a step back and shakes out her own coat before glancing in a southwestern direction. "Why don't we get out of here and I'll show you the area I'm thinking of settling down? I don't have many others to back me up yet but maybe we'll find a straggler or two as we go," Celeste takes a few strides before glancing at Zoey. "I enjoy a good conversation so if there's anything you want to teach me as we go, don't be afraid to speak up," she winks one of her aquamarine eyes before taking off in the direction of the desert with Zoey in tow.