It seemed like life had given her a drastic turn of events and to her it felt like one disaster after another. Her mother had died and she had spent the long night in a wave of illness. Just as she felt she was getting her bearings with meeting Arcturus, she was forced out of her home. It was hard for her. It could be expected.

She still tried to look forward, tried to find the silver lining with Arcturus when her thoughts were just too deep. It was suffocating to her. She didn't really like to share her emotions, so maybe that's why it was so hard to navigate the future while she was till stuck on her life before. She was working on moving on, but everyday she wished she could go back in time and change what had happened in her life. She felt like she wouldn't be the shy reserved girl she was had her mother still been here and she lived an average life.

Tonight was one of those nights, too many thoughts in her head. Once she thought she was going to sleep, she realized she wasn't. It was a burning cycle. With the pack in it's early stages she had taken a temporary den for the time being. Maybe the thought of living with Arcturus was there and maybe he even expected but honestly she was struggling to get too attached to him. He had become her whole life in a way, but she didn't want to become dependent on him. Emotionally that was. She felt like she couldn't take another loss in her life and that's all she could think about when she felt close to him.

She may have been a little restless while her first heat had finally come her way. It had made her a little more emotional, and little more anxious. Everything was changing in and around her. It was a drastic time. She finally built up the courage because honestly she couldn't get him off her mind. She had found comfort in Arcturus before, and it was nights like this where she wanted nothing more. She held back most of the time, for that hidden fear. But tonight for the first time since they had formed Valta did she leave her den to make her way over to his. She hesitated as she made it to the doorway, and without really announcing her presence she moved forward to find her way beside him. Her paws were careful as they tried to sneak their way around his neck and lay with him stomach to stomach. She wouldn't say anything, just press her cheek into the plush of his mane and hold onto him in a gentle and somewhat desperate grasp.

"Arc & Vanille"

Arcturus settled into his den for the night with a sigh, stretching out on his side as he settled into the furs. Sleeping in the den alone was something he was still getting used to, but now that he was fully an adult he felt like it was something he should start adjusting to. Besides, it felt odd to be sharing a den with his mother and uncle when they were raising a kid together as well and his sister was already far more independent than he had been. He knew it was simply time for him to make his own space, but after living so closely with his family for so long it was taking some adjustment to do it. Honestly, the thing that motivated him the most was Vanille. He wanted to be there and be available for her as much as he could be in this difficult, tumultuous time in her life and having his own space made it easier to do that. He also secretly hoped that at some point she might want to share a home with him and he had started fixing up this large den near the top of the falls to do just that, just on the off chance that she made that choice. He wasn't going to push her on it, respecting her desire to continue having her own space, but the invitation was certainly open.

Arcturus hadn't been asleep for very long when he suddenly felt something press against him and felt something slip around his neck, the sensation pulling him awake and making him blink open his eyes groggily. One large paw shifted to his chest and instead he found Vanille's soft her as his paw rested on her back, his head tipping down to look at her form where it was partially hidden in the thick fluff of his mane. He blinked with surprise as his sleep-hazed brain slowly caught up with the present and realized what was happening and after a moment his forelegs wrapped around her, squeezing her close without question of what she was doing here or why. She didn't need a reason as far as he was concerned. If she wanted to be here with him then he was happy to be there for her. He lowered his head, craning his neck a bit to be able to nuzzle the back of her neck while his paws gently rubbed up and down her back. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, giving the top of her head—or at least what he could reach of it—a gentle kiss.

"Arc & Vanille"

She'd easily fall into him as he took her into the embraced she asked for. She had really hoped that she wouldn't have woke him, but really she did want him to wake up at the same time. It was difficult for her to ask for anything. Not only from him, but he was no exception.

She felt the gentle kiss on her head which prompted her to raise her head from his chest and look up at his gaze looking down at her. "Yeah." It wasn't completely a lie. This time she wasn't crying, he had seen her that way before. But tonight just wasn't an easy one. Nothing new, but she needed him. She could tell herself that for once. "I just wanted to be with you." Her voice was quiet in the late night den but she always had a quiet gentle voice to her.

Her paws carefully padded down at the mane of his chest, a reaction she was starting to grow used to in the times they were close like this. The way her eyes kind of wandered may have shown him she wasn't just that hundred percent though when was she ever? She looked back up at him again, resting her head down of the furs of the den still within his sight. "I just want things to get better Arc." She wasn't saying that her life wasn't great now, because she had felt better in the short amount of time they had traveled together and joined Valta. It hadn't been long and maybe that's why it was so hard for her to get that full taste of happiness or future with him. Moving on from the loss of her mother and a stolen childhood was unmistakably difficult. She knew he'd understand.

"Arc & Vanille"

As Vanille lifted her head from his chest and her pale pink gaze found his, a small smile pulled at his lips. It amazed him sometimes how happy she made him just simply being with him. When she replied to his question he could tell she wasn't entirely okay despite her saying that she was, but he didn't press her further on it for now. Slowly as they continued to spend time together he could feel her beginning to open up to him more and more and he was happy to just be with her and be the support she needed whenever she wanted him to be. "You know you're always welcome to be," he told her quietly when she said how she just wanted to be with him, his paws continuing to rub along her back in slow, soothing circles while her attention seemed to wander for a moment with her paws on his chest.

Eventually her gaze refocused on his as she told him how she just wanted things to get better. His gaze softened with understanding, giving her a quiet nod as his head rested on the furs as well with his nose nearly touching hers, giving her a gentle squeeze in his embrace. Even though he had gotten to a point now where he could mostly go on about his life without feeling as if he might slip back into the state he had been in, there were good and bad days and he knew what the worst of those days had been like. He didn't think or assume that she considered this the worst of it, but he understood what she meant. He couldn't count how many times he had thought the same thing. "They will," he promised softly, one of his large paws sifting up to her cheek with a little smile. He tipped his muzzle up to hers, pressing a tender kiss to her lips. "We'll get there together."

"Arc & Vanille"

While she may have already known the way he felt about her, the reassurance of his acceptance just gave her more of that courage and faith for their future. Which was also scary for her. Each day she was growing more to the thought of losing him. Of being too attached and something happening. Like it was inevitable. Maybe pretty far fetched from any normal set of eyes, but not for her. And she liked to believe he understood and felt the same way too. They both had lost parents too early in their lives.

She smiled and closed her eyes while his paw lifted to her cheek, leaning into it gently in response. She more than willingly took the simple kiss he offered her, opening back her eyes as he spoke again. Again the reassurance she wanted to hear. Everything could feel right and perfect right here, right now. He could make her feel that way if only for the moment. She had been a little more emotional with her first heat season, but she was taking herbs to make the effects dimmer and help with everything else that came along with this drastic change in her life. Another drastic change.

"You make me feel wanted, Arc." she confessed, thinking that it may not have been such a big reveal. Maybe she felt like it was a big deal because she had spent such a large portion of her life alone, that having this constant to remind her she wasn't just no one living day by day, it helped her make it to the next day. It got her out of her head more. There were still moments of course, but having him had turned her whole life around. She reached up too, closing her eyes as she went to kiss him slowly, lastingly. Being with him like this was such a new experience to experiment with. And she did feel like she was creating something new about herself as they grew together. She'd hold him there as long as she could, going deeper, her paws grasping into the mane of his chest as she found herself more eager and more tense. She'd pull herself away after a few moments, prolonging opening her eyes to look back at him. Still no tears, but he could see that familiar troubled expression "I'm worried about losing you."

"Arc & Vanille"

All Arcturus really wanted was to keep the few wolves he really cared about close and happy. When Vanille expressed how wanted he made her feel he felt a happiness and something almost like relief. After everything Vanille had been through she deserved to have someone on her side, someone wanting and loving her, and he wanted to be that for her. Everything he did was in the hopes that she would feel and understand how he felt about her so her admitting that she felt wanted was comforting and told him that he was doing something right. When she brought her lips to his, he returned her kiss happily, a quiet rumble of contentment leaving him as he lingered in that feeling of her soft lips on his. He tried to keep himself from getting too swept up in the feeling of it, but it was hard. Vanille was right about him wanting her and he only continued to want her more with each day that they spent together. His forelegs tightened around her and pulled her body into his again on reflex as they kissed while he let her continue the affection for as long as she wished.

When she did eventually break their kiss, he blinked his sapphire gaze open to look down at her again, but he didn't loosen his hold around her. He kept her smaller frame pulled into his with a protectiveness and a desire that he couldn't really describe. He always wanted to shield her from the world and give her all of the love he could possibly manage, but that felt even more important right now. When she spoke again with that worried, troubled gaze he had become very familiar with, she told him about her worry that she would loose him and he gave her a little smile with understanding in his gaze. "I know... I feel the same way," he told her softly, squeezing her gently in his embrace. It felt like wolves he loved slipped away so easily and without warning and now everything he did was in an effort to keep that from happening. He became a fighter to protect them, a hunter to care for them. He did everything he could to keep his mother and sister close and keep them from splintering off in different directions. Now that extended to Vanille.

Still, he didn't want that to be a reason to keep him from living the life he wanted with her. He kissed her softly again and added, "When I was still dealing with the guilt over my father's death my mother told me that he wouldn't want me to be unhappy. He would want me to live the best life I could and find happiness. It's terrifying knowing how much I care for you and how easily everything can fall apart, but it's worth it for how happy you make me. I can't imagine living my best life or finding happiness without you in it." His voice was quiet in the still silence of the night, but the emotion behind his words was still very much there. "All we can do is hope that we're lucky enough to have a whole lifetime to spend together."

"Arc & Vanille"

Her chin laid down on her chest as he spoke and she got comfortable, more than happy to listen to anything he had to say to her. She was much more quiet in nature, so listening was an easier trait for her. And she cared deeply for how he felt about her and everything else, not that she could reflect that onto how she felt about herself. Maybe it was more the fact that he had others to share his life with. To her, she was really nothing. As she had said, he made her feel wanted and like she belonged, but he had others that loved him and maybe depended on him in some way. It was just her on her side of the world.

"I'm sorry about your father, if I've never told you that." She stated still quietly though maybe it never needed to be said. They had the same experiences in life, they really did share a common ground. They maybe weren't completely the same but that was a hard standard to go by. It was meant to be just this way, and with Arc she felt like he could better herself as time went on. She needed just that though, time. "I think my mother would want the same, for me to move on and be happy. But it's just been so hard doing everything on my own." An easy explanation, but she wasn't on her own anymore. And that's what she meant in telling him. He gave her this reason to keep moving forward and building onto her life and the life she shared with him.

Her paws pushing down gently on the mane of his chest as she looked down at his body and then back up again at his face. She paused for a moment, because it was hard to tell him. As comfortable as she was with him, around him, touching him, talking to him, it was scary as she had just told him moments before. "I think I... love you Arc." Maybe he could still see that troubled look on her features, but she meant it. Because she wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. A companionship that grew just from a meeting by her born den. Maybe she was naive in a way but that didn't really matter. Arcturus was a good guy. A good guy. He was looking out for her in ways that she never experienced before even by her mother. She waited to see his reaction or at least if he would move on from it and ponder a little more. She would be fine with that. She acted distracted by the plush of his mane, it was easy to get lost in or find that excuse.

"Arc & Vanille"

"And I'm sorry about your mother," he replied quietly in kind. Before they met he had struggled to move on past his father's death even with the support of his mother and sister, but Vanille had given him that thing he was missing to in his life to pull himself out of this seemingly endless hole he had slipped into. He didn't want to make himself dependent on her any more than he wanted her to be dependent on him, but he had needed someone else to focus on besides himself to make himself see past all the previous loss and guilt. She gave him a reason to get up when he didn't have any other reason to do so until it became second nature. It was like he had to relearn how to live his daily life and she had been the catalyst. He nodded with understanding as she mentioned how hard everything had been on her own. He knew that in comparison he had it easy with his family around him, but he had pushed them away to a point where he might as well been entirely alone. He hadn't let them help him until it was too late and now he was having to rebuild the relationships he had squandered.

His thoughts wandered over his life, his family, and his relationship with Vanille while he enjoyed having her in his arms, feeling her paws moving over the thick fur of his mane, gazing down at her with a small smile on his lips. He had never been as comfortable with anyone as he did with Vanille and the way his heart skipped around her and the warmth that built in his belly when they were laying like this... It was frightening how he cared about her, but he couldn't imagine his life without her now. It felt so far beyond just a friendship, but he hadn't allowed himself to really put his feelings into words. In the end Vanille did it for him as she looked up, her light pink gaze finding the sapphire of his. Her declaration caught him off guard, making his eyes widen with surprise for a moment, but that surprise quickly faded into a happy grin. As soon as she mentioned her love for him he had no doubt that he felt the same. It put a name to what he had been feeling and validated that he wasn’t the only one feeling like this. It was almost like all he needed was the permission to fully accept how he was feeling for her.

After a stunned and heart skipping moment of silence, his large paw came up to her cheek, cradling her delicate features before pulling her into a tender kiss. His lips pressed to hers without any of the reservation or carefulness he usually held as he kept himself back out of fear of pushing too far too fast. He just kept hearing her words playing back again and again in his head as he kissed her passionately, his free foreleg tightening around her lower back as he held her close and celebrated this step in their relationship in the only way he really knew how. After a few long, savoring moments he did finally pull back again, blinking his eyes open and giving her a loving grin. “I love you too, Vanille,” he said quietly in return, caressing over her cheek and grinning like a fool.

"Arc & Vanille"