She wanted to stand her ground. She wanted to prove a point. However, that resolve had very quickly wore thin with night after night of coming home to an empty bed. During the day she could keep herself busy and distracted, indulge in Kavik and let herself put the current strife in her marriage out of her mind, but at night when there was nothing to hide from the glaring loss that's when it hurt the most. It made her wonder if Alastor was feeling the same pain and loneliness or if he was really too far gone from her to really care. The emptiness and quiet let her mind spiral to the worst conclusions. Occasionally she would relent and go to Kavik's den for some relief, but tonight that just felt like part of the problem. She kept waiting in hope that maybe Alastor would make some kind of revelation and show up at the door to their room, but she knew they were both too stubborn for their own good and both of them would just continue to dig in their heels until one of them broke.

She tried to keep her own issues as contained as she could, but she knew it was impossible for her children and Irilyth to not notice Alastor's absence. It would be foolish of her to think that her attempts at seeming cool and collected to any of them would keep them from figuring out that something was going on, but she couldn't go to their children. She couldn't burden them with this. Kavik knew, but that wasn't the kind of escape she was craving. Eventually she allowed herself to get up, rising to her paws and quietly moving across the connected caves and paths to where Irilyth's room was. It was a fairly small space, but Manea didn't care. She carefully stepped over the sleeping form of her love, settling down in the small space at the edge of the healer's bed, and slipped her forelegs around the smaller woman, hugging her close and tucking her head into the crook of Irilyth's neck. She didn't care if Irilyth woke up or acknowledged her or questioned her. Just having the familiar presence of her was comforting.

"Manea" & "Irilyth"

It was impossible for Irilyth to not notice the discord that had befallen her alphas, especially when she lived so closely with them both. Alastor’s absence had been deafening with the silence that followed in his wake, and Irilyth saw firsthand the way it affected Manea. No matter how strong of a front she put up, Iri could see the pain and turmoil her mistress was under, the way her mental and emotional health eroded day after day with her husband astray. It worried the little golden blonde fae and she felt helpless to do anything for the woman she loved. Fortunately, Manea had found solace in a new male—an arctic wolf from some northern lands—who helped take away some of the stress and pain. That brought Iri a little bit of relief knowing that her leader wasn't languishing in her misery alone. She had her children, her new lover, her pack and her family. Whatever was going on between her and Alastor, Manea had a veritable army of wolves ready to support her through thick and thin.

It was the middle of a calm summer night when Manea eventually came to her seeking support from the little blonde fae. Irilyth had been sound asleep in her cozy little alcove of the Mendacium den, curled up in the nook her fur bedding occupied. She didn't hear the dire fae enter at first, she was silent as a ghost, but she felt her when the Matriarch stepped over to join her in her bedding, feeling her body jostling as Manea settled in beside her. Irilyth blinked open bleary raspberry eyes, peering about the dark space of her den in confusion while she pieced together what was happening. "Manea...?" she questioned her mistress quietly, but the tight winding of her lover's forelegs around her slim midsection to pull her into a warm embrace made Iri squeak softly with surprise. Ruby eyes blinked a couple of times, then the petite fae settled into the cuddles, snuggling closer to Manea's fluffy chest. "Are you okay...?" The question might have been a silly ask, but it was just her nature as a healer. Tiny paws lifted to comb through Manea's fur, peering up through the dark to try and find aqua eyes she knew so well.

"Manea" & "Irilyth"

Part of her had almost hoped that Irilyth might sleep through her intrusion, feeling a bit of guilt for disrupting her lover's sleep, but she knew Irilyth wouldn't mind. She gently nuzzled into the smaller woman's cheek as she started to wake and squeezed her a little tighter with a heavy sigh. The warmth and familiar scent of her handmaiden turned lover chipped away at what resolve and strength she had left, quickly and easily dismantling the walls she usually kept in place to hide how she was really feeling. She didn't really know how well she was doing in that regard or if her attempts at making it appear as if she was weathering this storm fine were in vain, but here with Irilyth in her arms everything crumbled and the exhaustion she felt was clear to see. When Irilyth asked if she was okay, an almost sarcastic chuckle escaped her before she could stop herself, her ears flicking back against her head as she felt Irilyth's pale paws moving through her fur.

She wanted to at least give a half hearted assurance that she was fine, but even that was hard to get past her lips. When Irilyth's gaze searched for hers and her aqua gaze connected with the concerned, raspberry eyes of her sweet Irilyth it became impossible to lie to her, even if it was just to ease some of Irilyth's worries. She gave a small shake of her head as she quietly replied, "No... No, I'm not okay..." Her voice was thick with emotion and she only barely kept her tears of exhaustion, frustration, and anger at bay. With another sigh, Manea dipped her head pressing her face into Irilyth's neck and letting her eyes close as she held the small healer tight, letting her sweet scent of berries and herbs fill her nose and chase away this deep feeling of isolation. She could have gone to Kavik and he certainly would have kept her company and probably fucked her woes away, but she didn't feel comfortable with him the way she did Irilyth. She couldn't show him this vulnerability and let her walls down like this. What Irilyth offered was cathartic in a way she didn't realize she needed until she was here. "I'm sorry..." she said quietly, nuzzling gently into the side of Irilyth's neck while her large paws rubbed along her back. "I didn't want to wake you up I just... I just needed someone..."

"Manea" & "Irilyth"

Seeing her alphess and her lover so emotionally broken and beat down like this broke Irilyth's heart. Manea was the strongest wolf and woman she knew, and to see her laid low by her husband's wayward ways upset her on the violet queen's behalf. The sardonic laugh Manea uttered when asked if she was all right felt like a punch to the gut. No, of course she wasn't all right; anyone with eyes could have seen that. But Irilyth didn't know what else to say, what else to do. She was powerless in this matter between the Matriarch and the Commander. She was no marriage counselor or therapist; all she knew were her potions and drugs. She supposed she could have doped Manea up with enough sedatives to help her relax and sleep, but that only soothed the symptoms and didn't solve the problem. Fortunately, Manea seemed to be self-treating herself when she felt the larger dire fae shift to bury her face into the tiny golden woman's neck. Iri gasped from the suddenness of the intimacy, but easily fell back into comforting her lover with gentle strokes of dainty paws over the other woman's head and neck.

"Don't be sorry, my love... I want to help you," spoke Irilyth in hushed, whispered tones right against the edge of Manea's closest ear. She carefully nuzzled Manea's forehead while the violet fae nuzzled the side of her neck, giving her all the tender affections and embraces she needed to feel loved. Iri was careful to avoid the sharp ridges of Manea's crests while she cared for and soothed her alphess lover, the tiny blonde fae feeling so especially small next to her, yet doing her best to make Manea feel surrounded by love, if not physically then metaphorically. Iri murred softly while Manea's paws rubbed up and down her back and her slender sides, leaving little tingles in their wake while she gave herself over to Manea and allowed the alpha to do as she wished with her. Whatever Manea needed from her tonight, Irilyth would gladly give. "Do you want to talk, Mistr- Manea...? It doesn't have to be about what's going on, it could be whatever you'd like..." Irilyth lifted her lips to press a few gentle kisses across Manea's brow, following the white of her marking with gentle lips. "Or we could just like here until you fall asleep..."

"Manea" & "Irilyth"

Manea let her eyes close as she continued to lean into Irilyth's affections, letting herself be distracted and comforted by the gentle nuzzles and kisses she received across her forehead and brow from her lover. As much as she hadn't wanted to disturb Irilyth or anyone else in her life with her issues and her sorrows, she knew she was at a breaking point and something was going to have to give and this felt like a small price to pay in comparison to being completely useless to the rest of her pack and family as she continued to exhaust herself. She was always grateful for the role that Irilyth played in her life, but in times like these when the little blonde fae stepped up and gave her exactly what she needed that became even more true. When Irilyth offered to talk about things or just lay here until she fell asleep, Manea leaned back a bit, letting her head rest on the bedding beneath her again to look up at Irilyth where she was perched along her body.

One of her large paws trailed up along Irilyth's side, tracing over her shoulder and the side of her neck till she reached her cheek. "Just laying here with you is helping more than any talking would..." she replied softly with a bit of a smile as she cupped Irilyth's cheek gently in her large paw that nearly dwarfed the side of her lover's face. The loneliness hit her harder than anything else in Alastor's absence so just having Irilyth fill that void was helping more than she could express. It didn't fix anything and was certainly more of southing salve than anything else, but for now she would take what she could get. She tipped her muzzle up, guiding Irilyth's lips to hers as she shared a tender kiss with the smaller woman. "I love you, Irilyth... Thank you for being here for me," she added when their lips parted, letting her toes trace over the edge of Irilyth's soft ear.

Manea shifted then, wrapping her forelegs around her again to support her delicate frame as she rolled onto her side and brought Irilyth along with her, letting her back lean into the wall of the small den to leave enough room on the modest bed for them both, she pulled Irilyth into her chest, tucking her head down over her lover's and nuzzling her ears, letting Irilyth's scent fill her nose and drown out everything else that cluttered her mind. She was warm and soft, both sending delicate tingles along her skin wherever they touched while comforting her and pulling her toward sleep with every passing moment. She left gentle kisses across Irilyth's ears and forehead, one paw rubbing along her back as well until her motions began to slow and stutter. Her eyelids dropped as the combination of Irilyth's calming presence and the warmth that built in this small space started to lull her to sleep, leaning her cheek into the top of Irilyth's head as her eyes finally closed. Within moments her breathing settled into deep, even breaths and she settled into blissfully dreamless sleep, holding tight to Irilyth's body through the rest of the night as if she was afraid that she might wake up and find her gone.

"Manea" & "Irilyth"