Childish Fears
Noir
12-28-2022, 08:08 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-03-2023, 06:53 PM by Duchess. Edited 1 time in total.)
Duchess had fallen into some kind of dimension of this life she had with Noir. A generally happy one she made herself believe. Though it was almost like every step after the other was the same. Everyday she was doing the same. She was caring for him, hunting, cooking, physically being there for him every night and time he wanted. Whether that was just a body to hold or more beyond that she forced herself not to care. Noir probably wouldn't have a clue, and she was fooling herself along the way too.
They were wanderers so moving from one place to another was nothing new though she knew his general avoidance of the eastern lands. She never really asked why, if it was something he wanted to talk to her about then she would have listened for him. But she wouldn't pester him not that he really gave her a reason not to. It was just this silent fear of doing something to upset him, and in the end making him leave her. Drastic maybe, but it was just the core of how she felt about herself and her life.
They had made steps towards the thicket, maybe a little reluctantly, she couldn't tell. She didn't question. If they would be staying in the south eastern lands here she'd do nothing less than set up their camp and make it home for the night.
"Duchess"
They were wanderers so moving from one place to another was nothing new though she knew his general avoidance of the eastern lands. She never really asked why, if it was something he wanted to talk to her about then she would have listened for him. But she wouldn't pester him not that he really gave her a reason not to. It was just this silent fear of doing something to upset him, and in the end making him leave her. Drastic maybe, but it was just the core of how she felt about herself and her life.
They had made steps towards the thicket, maybe a little reluctantly, she couldn't tell. She didn't question. If they would be staying in the south eastern lands here she'd do nothing less than set up their camp and make it home for the night.
12-30-2022, 08:03 AM
Life went on and seasons changed. Noir continued on aimlessly, going wherever his heart desired. The last year he had actually been quite enjoyable. Having a consistent.. Companion? Play thing? He couldn’t really decide what she was, but he was certain his life was better with her alongside him. Maybe he was being selfish in keeping her around, but it asn’t like she had anywhere else to go. Two strays just wandering the world getting into whatever trouble they felt like. Not that trouble often came up when he had a choice. They kept to themselves and no one bothered them. He was living the life he always wanted.
Somehow, no matter how hard he tried to avoid these lands, Noir always seemed drawn back to the place he was born. There was unfinished business with his family that he thought he would take to his grave. As they wandered closer and closer to the thicket he realized that Abaven had vanished. What he had once thought an eternal institution was now gone.
He didn’t know if Duchess would realize how the fact was effecting him. Noir was much more quiet in the days they spent here, distant almost as they made camp and lingered here for the time being. He knew she would never ask or press him, but maybe that was exactly what he needed. Noir helped to prepare a fire for the time being, it helped to keep the autumn chill away. For a long moment he stared into the flames, there with Duchess physically but mentally he was years and years away.
Somehow, no matter how hard he tried to avoid these lands, Noir always seemed drawn back to the place he was born. There was unfinished business with his family that he thought he would take to his grave. As they wandered closer and closer to the thicket he realized that Abaven had vanished. What he had once thought an eternal institution was now gone.
He didn’t know if Duchess would realize how the fact was effecting him. Noir was much more quiet in the days they spent here, distant almost as they made camp and lingered here for the time being. He knew she would never ask or press him, but maybe that was exactly what he needed. Noir helped to prepare a fire for the time being, it helped to keep the autumn chill away. For a long moment he stared into the flames, there with Duchess physically but mentally he was years and years away.
01-04-2023, 08:46 AM
With the day wearing thin and the fire started as they settled in for the night, Duchess would finally make her way to find her place beside him. Affections were easy for her no matter the circumstance for the day. Maybe it was too easy for him but she'd never seek to change. Not unless he had said something to her. It was hidden under the surface how desperate she was for him and maybe seen in her quiet actions if he was paying close enough attention. But maybe he didn't need to either. He could have had everything he wanted from her plus whatever he wanted from the outside. She liked to believe she was more than that though.
Laying up beside him, her paws reached forward to gently wrap around one of his larger legs while she leaned into him. She had noticed the almost subtle change in him since they had been here but she had already known his distaste for the furthest eastern lands. Not that she'd know the reasons behind it but she could assume it was all related. "How are you feeling?" She asked quietly, directed to the change in him without calling it out completely. A harmless everyday question she supposed. She probably wouldn't prod him any about it had he brushed it off as seemed normal for deeper emotions for him.
"Duchess"
Laying up beside him, her paws reached forward to gently wrap around one of his larger legs while she leaned into him. She had noticed the almost subtle change in him since they had been here but she had already known his distaste for the furthest eastern lands. Not that she'd know the reasons behind it but she could assume it was all related. "How are you feeling?" She asked quietly, directed to the change in him without calling it out completely. A harmless everyday question she supposed. She probably wouldn't prod him any about it had he brushed it off as seemed normal for deeper emotions for him.
01-19-2023, 08:05 AM
Noir was living his dream really, he was as far from his family as was possible, he did exactly what he wanted when he wanted, and he had a beautiful woman at his side. Duchess was loyal to a fault, and had Noir been more empathetic he might have seen the toxicity in her devotion, but the man didn’t care. He was selfish and her presence made him happy so there was no reason to dig deeper. He coldly ignored the desperation she had to be at his side, as long as she was there, was there really a problem? She’d found him and he kept her, it didn’t have to be anymore complicated.
He enjoyed the way she clung to him, slipping her slender legs around his arm as they settled in by the crackling fire. The warmth of it was almost as satisfying as the warmth of Duchess at his side. She was close enough that he could forget about how close they were to Abaven. Or what used to be Abaven. He should have been able to sense the pack by now, even after Theory moved the pack around.
His thoughts were disturbed by Duch’s soft voice as she asked after him. She had noticed the subtle change in him as they neared Abaven’s old lands. He never talked about his past with her, so the place he found himself in wasn’t a comfortable one. ”Do you know where we are?” He asked her, but he didn’t really expect her to know. ”I was born close to where we are now. It’s… odd. The pack is just… gone.” He didn’t explain himself at all, but no doubt Duchess could hear and feel the turmoil within.
He enjoyed the way she clung to him, slipping her slender legs around his arm as they settled in by the crackling fire. The warmth of it was almost as satisfying as the warmth of Duchess at his side. She was close enough that he could forget about how close they were to Abaven. Or what used to be Abaven. He should have been able to sense the pack by now, even after Theory moved the pack around.
His thoughts were disturbed by Duch’s soft voice as she asked after him. She had noticed the subtle change in him as they neared Abaven’s old lands. He never talked about his past with her, so the place he found himself in wasn’t a comfortable one. ”Do you know where we are?” He asked her, but he didn’t really expect her to know. ”I was born close to where we are now. It’s… odd. The pack is just… gone.” He didn’t explain himself at all, but no doubt Duchess could hear and feel the turmoil within.
01-20-2023, 09:05 AM
She had certainly learned a rush of kindness and care in her time with Indigo, and not just with him either. The rest of the band all mattered to her regardless of the emotions that had threatened her and led her to where she was today. The troubled pasts of all of them, she knew they each benefited from what was offered between them. She just didn't expect Noir to work through his inner emotions and turmoil like they had. She'd always be there when he was ready though.
"No." She responded softly, but he went on to say that this was where he was from. Her paws gently wrapped more around his leg as she looked up at him, noticing that harsh battle within him. Maybe emotions he couldn't really discover himself. In a way she was careful with how she wanted to continue on. She knew a little better than to bluntly force it on him. Of course she was interested and cared for all of him, it just wasn't that simple with the relationship they shared. Instead she gave him a little insight about herself dropping her gaze into the fire for that moment and leaning her head into his neck, "I grew up in southern Auster. My parents didn't want me so I had to learn on my... own." Well, sort of. Draco seemed to be a distant memory these days. She looked back up at him, giving him the opportunity to open up more if that's what he wanted.
"Duchess"
"No." She responded softly, but he went on to say that this was where he was from. Her paws gently wrapped more around his leg as she looked up at him, noticing that harsh battle within him. Maybe emotions he couldn't really discover himself. In a way she was careful with how she wanted to continue on. She knew a little better than to bluntly force it on him. Of course she was interested and cared for all of him, it just wasn't that simple with the relationship they shared. Instead she gave him a little insight about herself dropping her gaze into the fire for that moment and leaning her head into his neck, "I grew up in southern Auster. My parents didn't want me so I had to learn on my... own." Well, sort of. Draco seemed to be a distant memory these days. She looked back up at him, giving him the opportunity to open up more if that's what he wanted.
01-26-2023, 08:18 AM
Duchess didn’t realize where they were, not that he actually expected that from her. He grumbled softly after he explained, and very nearly shut down all conversation at her ignorance. However, Duchess was soft and vulnerable, enough so that he didn’t just forget the deeper meaning behind his motives. Noir didn’t.. Or couldn’t appreciate her openness and ability to listen to his grievances. Nor did he understand how much he might work through his turmoil if he just stopped to talk to her about the deeper workings of his mind.
She was gentle, as she had always been with him when he started to think about it. Like she had been through the same issues that plagued him now, or she was just more intuitive than he would have ever given her credit for. Her soft voice went on, responding to his opening up in similar fashion. Explaining, now that they had been together for so long, where she herself had come from before he found her and took her as his own.
However different their stories were. He couldn’t forget how hard his father had tried to steer him on a different path. All that pushing had only driven Noir further away though, and no one had tried to come after him when all was said and done. He’d been on his own for nearly as long as Duchess. ”Do you curse them?” He asked, deep voice rumbling in his chest as blue and lavender eyes shifted to her face. He didn’t know where it was he was going or what he was saying, but the words tumbled from his lips without prompting.
She was gentle, as she had always been with him when he started to think about it. Like she had been through the same issues that plagued him now, or she was just more intuitive than he would have ever given her credit for. Her soft voice went on, responding to his opening up in similar fashion. Explaining, now that they had been together for so long, where she herself had come from before he found her and took her as his own.
However different their stories were. He couldn’t forget how hard his father had tried to steer him on a different path. All that pushing had only driven Noir further away though, and no one had tried to come after him when all was said and done. He’d been on his own for nearly as long as Duchess. ”Do you curse them?” He asked, deep voice rumbling in his chest as blue and lavender eyes shifted to her face. He didn’t know where it was he was going or what he was saying, but the words tumbled from his lips without prompting.
02-09-2023, 02:47 PM
Thinking about how much he cared about her, whether it was true or not, she'd still make herself believe it. She could see his actions and through what little emotions he had maybe unintentionally shared with her, Noir was generally shut out and cold hearted. She liked to think of him differently in the time they shared together. The better of the times. It was easy for her to cling onto the affections he gave in return to her presence. She wanted to help him be better, not necessarily for herself. Just some part of need to nurture in her soul.
She kept that second of contact with him as he looked back at her before turning her face away in quick thought as she looked down into the fire. She didn't want to linger long on what she thought her answer would be, that may have taken forever. Her chin slightly moved crooked with a raised brow, not that she was looking at him again yet. "Well, I don't know." The simple answer. Things that happened so long ago but that she may have never forced herself to face, just like Noir. "I've always learned how to move on. Better to forget." The best wisdom? Probably not. Though maybe he could at least relate. As affectionate as the two of them had been, and even as Noir had seen Duchess in one of her lowest moments in life, they both had never been real open about each other. Duchess knew Noir was just a placeholder in her life, something to get her by. She wanted more, but she'd do just as she told him. Move on, make things work well enough to get her through another day alive.
She paused before looking back towards him, maybe a little hesitant in response. But she wanted to help him figure out the struggles he was facing."Do you?" Her tone was still gentle, not pressing. Just asking him to tell her how he felt if that's what he wanted. Otherwise it'd get buried like anything else wrong that had happened between them.
"Duchess"
She kept that second of contact with him as he looked back at her before turning her face away in quick thought as she looked down into the fire. She didn't want to linger long on what she thought her answer would be, that may have taken forever. Her chin slightly moved crooked with a raised brow, not that she was looking at him again yet. "Well, I don't know." The simple answer. Things that happened so long ago but that she may have never forced herself to face, just like Noir. "I've always learned how to move on. Better to forget." The best wisdom? Probably not. Though maybe he could at least relate. As affectionate as the two of them had been, and even as Noir had seen Duchess in one of her lowest moments in life, they both had never been real open about each other. Duchess knew Noir was just a placeholder in her life, something to get her by. She wanted more, but she'd do just as she told him. Move on, make things work well enough to get her through another day alive.
She paused before looking back towards him, maybe a little hesitant in response. But she wanted to help him figure out the struggles he was facing."Do you?" Her tone was still gentle, not pressing. Just asking him to tell her how he felt if that's what he wanted. Otherwise it'd get buried like anything else wrong that had happened between them.
02-13-2023, 02:59 PM
Weather Noir was capable of real emotions or not was still up for debate. He felt real, hot anger when he thought about his family and his past in Abaven. If there was anyone that could get past the walls of ice constructed around him it would have been Duchess. Noir hadn’t ever spent so much time with a single wolf. Many women had come in and out of his life that he felt no attachment to besides an intimate night. Duchess was different, as she kept to his side there was a part of Noir that gravitated back to her.
Her gaze lifted to meet his for only a moment as he gave her his question. Swiftly looking back to the fire as he broached the sensitive subject. He was pressing her more than the inverse. Duchess was so soft and pliable, as she went on to answer him and helped to explain who she was. Where she allowed herself to forget about the transgressions done against her, Noir stewed and dwelled on his own. He held the fury and hate in his heart, and it had gone on to mold and decay him.
He tried not to think too deeply, despite that being the exact course of the conversation that Duchess was looking for. When she then asked him the same question he’d sought from her. Did he curse them? ”Yes.” Noir replied seriously as she met his blue and lavender gaze. ”Even though every one of them is dead and gone. Yes.”
Her gaze lifted to meet his for only a moment as he gave her his question. Swiftly looking back to the fire as he broached the sensitive subject. He was pressing her more than the inverse. Duchess was so soft and pliable, as she went on to answer him and helped to explain who she was. Where she allowed herself to forget about the transgressions done against her, Noir stewed and dwelled on his own. He held the fury and hate in his heart, and it had gone on to mold and decay him.
He tried not to think too deeply, despite that being the exact course of the conversation that Duchess was looking for. When she then asked him the same question he’d sought from her. Did he curse them? ”Yes.” Noir replied seriously as she met his blue and lavender gaze. ”Even though every one of them is dead and gone. Yes.”
02-13-2023, 04:56 PM
She wanted to believe he was working through things at least in his head. It seemed that way at least. He could have lashed out at her, or dropped it all and moved on. While so little progress for things she didn't even have any details on, she could applaud him. She could feel happy for him considering what he was feeling with her. She could have been so wrong but it felt genuine to her. And she hoped it helped.
As he mentioned his family dead and gone, Duchess just gave him a few seconds before she proceeded. As typically cold and closed off as he was, she expected there was something more within. More that he was holding back. She wouldn't prod him for it. It wasn't her place to know every little thing about him, she didn't need to. "Noir," two toned eyes looked over his face, not in search of anything but just trying to show him that she cared. She rose a dainty paw to place gingerly on his shoulder as she turned more into him, "I'm sorry." Sorry for them being gone, and maybe sorry that they had done something so terrible for him to hold this curse on them. Justified or not, it wouldn't make her feel any differently about him. She was really too kind and forgiving for her own good.
"Duchess"
As he mentioned his family dead and gone, Duchess just gave him a few seconds before she proceeded. As typically cold and closed off as he was, she expected there was something more within. More that he was holding back. She wouldn't prod him for it. It wasn't her place to know every little thing about him, she didn't need to. "Noir," two toned eyes looked over his face, not in search of anything but just trying to show him that she cared. She rose a dainty paw to place gingerly on his shoulder as she turned more into him, "I'm sorry." Sorry for them being gone, and maybe sorry that they had done something so terrible for him to hold this curse on them. Justified or not, it wouldn't make her feel any differently about him. She was really too kind and forgiving for her own good.
02-28-2023, 06:45 AM
Noir could easily name quite a few things Duchess was good at and good for, but right now she was displaying her ability to be quiet and listen. The way her presence made him feel like she could read him deeper than the words that he said. He used her for his own pleasure, and yet he couldn’t ignore the concern that was hidden in her features. The woman had been following him for long enough that she had gotten to know his behaviors and mannerisms. Maybe she didn’t know about his past but she did know him in the present tense.
His name was on her lips, and his attention was easily stolen. He looked up as she brought her gaze to his. For a moment it felt like time had ceased to exist as their eyes met. His blue and lavender to her bright sky blue ones. She put a paw to his cheek, and for a brief moment Noir felt emotions that had never really existed within him. A connection to Duchess that he couldn’t have ever predicted. For a brief moment he sat with her as an equal and a partner.
Then she apologized. There was no particular that she said sorry for, only those two words. However they reverberated deep within the blue striped man. ”Oh, Duchess.” He whispered as he brought his own huge paw to her cheek, and without hesitation he lowered his lips to hers. Noir didn’t feel much beyond his selfish desires, and perhaps this was only an extension of that, but the passion he felt as he kissed her had never been felt within the depths of his dark heart like this moment.
His name was on her lips, and his attention was easily stolen. He looked up as she brought her gaze to his. For a moment it felt like time had ceased to exist as their eyes met. His blue and lavender to her bright sky blue ones. She put a paw to his cheek, and for a brief moment Noir felt emotions that had never really existed within him. A connection to Duchess that he couldn’t have ever predicted. For a brief moment he sat with her as an equal and a partner.
Then she apologized. There was no particular that she said sorry for, only those two words. However they reverberated deep within the blue striped man. ”Oh, Duchess.” He whispered as he brought his own huge paw to her cheek, and without hesitation he lowered his lips to hers. Noir didn’t feel much beyond his selfish desires, and perhaps this was only an extension of that, but the passion he felt as he kissed her had never been felt within the depths of his dark heart like this moment.
03-08-2023, 02:24 PM
She was just the same way she had always been with him. Maybe he knew what kind of control he had over her, but he may not have understood the depth of how dependent she was on him. There was still a lot he didn't know about her, and she knew the same to him. She expected to never know everything about him, and just keep living like this, hopefully a constant in his life. She hadn't lost full hope in having a family of her own one day but it was too far of a dream to reach for her. She'd keep herself content just here with him for as long as she could.
She could tell the impact on him by the way he looked back at her, though maybe not how deep it ran. She didn't know the history before them, and even the history of them either. She could believe though that he may not have ever felt this way before. She did feel important to him, and in this moment she may have been. It made her hold on. She was completely at will to him as she had always been, and melted into his affections. Closing her eyes to the touch of his paw on her face, almost knowing what was coming next. She wouldn't pull back. She'd truly believe that she was bettering him, whether she had or not. She kissed him back with the love he could have asked for, Duchess was never off of passionate and she'd be here for as long as he'd keep her. And she could feel the change in him if only for these moments.
"Duchess"
She could tell the impact on him by the way he looked back at her, though maybe not how deep it ran. She didn't know the history before them, and even the history of them either. She could believe though that he may not have ever felt this way before. She did feel important to him, and in this moment she may have been. It made her hold on. She was completely at will to him as she had always been, and melted into his affections. Closing her eyes to the touch of his paw on her face, almost knowing what was coming next. She wouldn't pull back. She'd truly believe that she was bettering him, whether she had or not. She kissed him back with the love he could have asked for, Duchess was never off of passionate and she'd be here for as long as he'd keep her. And she could feel the change in him if only for these moments.
03-10-2023, 06:56 AM
Noir never really thought about Duchess’s past, whether it was just his selfish nature to not be curious or if he just did not care enough to pursue the information. The world might never know. The blue striped man lived in the moment for the most part, he had some hauntings from his past, as he was making obvious now. She didn’t know how much he needed the words she shared with him, or more importantly the ones that he shared with her. Noir didn’t talk about his family anymore, his trust in the dainty woman had grown in their time together.
Duchess never refused his touch, or squirmed from his grasp. Whenever he touched her the response was falling deeper into him. Today was no different about that aspect, however with his own emotional turmoil the connection felt so much deeper. Noir was always about his own pleasure and desire but as his dark arms wrapped around her slender form it was almost like she became a part of him. She moved against his touch, molding to his frame as their kiss deepened. He connected with Duchess on a level that hadn’t been there before, or perhaps he just hadn’t been self aware enough to notice.
Both of them were aware of the course this conversation would take them, especially as their bodies began to entwine and Noir manipulated her body against his own. He breathed her in, he took her passion, and perhaps for the first time he didn’t ferret it away for himself but shared and returned the feeling back to her.
Duchess never refused his touch, or squirmed from his grasp. Whenever he touched her the response was falling deeper into him. Today was no different about that aspect, however with his own emotional turmoil the connection felt so much deeper. Noir was always about his own pleasure and desire but as his dark arms wrapped around her slender form it was almost like she became a part of him. She moved against his touch, molding to his frame as their kiss deepened. He connected with Duchess on a level that hadn’t been there before, or perhaps he just hadn’t been self aware enough to notice.
Both of them were aware of the course this conversation would take them, especially as their bodies began to entwine and Noir manipulated her body against his own. He breathed her in, he took her passion, and perhaps for the first time he didn’t ferret it away for himself but shared and returned the feeling back to her.