Seraphim

i?m radioactive, radioactive

He didn't know what had come over him. He hadn't been able to figure it out in weeks. Regardless of knowing the reason, he knew the feeling. He cared for Eris. He cared for her in a way that he didn't imagine he would ever care for anyone, and while the feeling caught him far off guard he couldn't help but welcome it. It was simply unavoidable.



There had been a promise to see her again, but in the turmoil of Tortuga changing hands Seraphim had been unable for quite some time. After encountering Isardis he had wanted nothing more than to see Eris, though. The brute was despicable in Seraphim's eyes, and he couldn't imagine any pack he led would be a good home. He cared for nothing more than power, not even his own children. Seraphim hoped that Isardis would lose his life in this war, as he deserved nothing less, but a part of him wanted to thank the devil for creating this opportunity by instigating war in the first place.



The alabaster brute braced himself against the bitter cold falling around the cove as he entered the area and loosed a call for the woman immediately. He could only hope that she was nearby, and that as a healer she hadn't been dragged into the war to fight as a pawn for her wicked king.

Tagged: Eris

	The night that she had met Seraphim, had replayed in her mind. He was perhaps the first to ask her if she was happy, and that question echoed nearly constantly in her ears. Was she happy in Glaciem? Her womb now swelled with Isardis's children, it wasn't exactly her plan, but the power of her heat, and the promise of a release had been to great for her to say no and walk away. Soon after the night was done, the talk of war circulated the pack lands, an alliance with Amenti was formed, something she didn't agree with, as she felt the Amenti wolves were hungry for power, and uncontrollable. She wasn't comfortable with them, they unsettled her. Her feelings for her king were more confusing than her feelings about her home. While she cared for her king, as she cared for all the wolves in Glaciem, she was infuriated by him, by his actions, the way he blindly let pride rule in his decisions. She knew there had been an incident with his son, Taurig, when he left to claim Tortuga, Seraphim's home, but she didn't know the specifics. Was Isardis's pride really worth damaging his family? Yet she had stayed, in Glaciem, where perhaps some thought it unwise, she had stayed because it was her home, faults and all. Her promise to see Seraphim again, had been shoved to the back of her mind as the turmoil stirred. She knew it wouldn't do her well to come home smelling of a Tortugan wolf, and the war required too much effort on her part to prepare. The majority of the pack were away, fighting the siege, but she had remained in the territory, lingering on the edges of it, often drifting into the surrounding areas, waiting for a call to tend to the injured, a call that she was needed. A voice broke into her pacing, the movement of worry, and her ears pricked, it wasn't the pallid wolf that she had expected. Seraphim.. Her mind recognized his voice as clearly as if it were yesterday that she had met him. She turned towards the sound, moving as fast as her pregnant body would allow. Was he alright? Was he hurt? What would he think of the state that she had gotten herself in? Pregnancy was hard, on any female, yet perhaps more-so on her, her back ached, her tiny 23 inch frame burdened with the weight of pups to bear, she was exhausted all the time, but she had to push forward, so she did. Moving as quickly and as gracefully as she could manage, she reached the place where the call had sourced from, and her golden eyes came to rest on the pallid wolf, that she had oddly longed to see again. The words that left her came as a breath, light, and slightly out of breath. "Seraphim?"

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Seraphim

i?m radioactive, radioactive

He has been pacing impatiently, full of concern that it was taking her so long to get there. Had Isardis sent her off to fight his petty war? She was worth too much to be put in that sort of position. He couldn't imagine risking her that way.



Leaving was just crossing his mind when she arrived, looking exhausted and out of breath. He approached her quickly, stopping less than a foot away. Eris. Relief flooded him knowing that she was okay. It was almost enough to make her condition unnoticeable... Almost. As he looked her over and her scent caught in his nostrils, the realization flooded his mind and he sighed. So the demon has brought you into his madness as well? His voice was even and gentle, not at all betraying the anger at Isardis that flooded his veins, but he still worried that she would note the bitterness somehow and think it was directed against her.



He took a deep breath and his face fell, his eyes showing an emotion he couldn't describe. He focused his verdant gaze on her gold. I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner. I've... missed you.

Tagged: Eris

She could relax, as soon as she arrived, no longer pushed to reach a destination, no longer rushed with the weight of her unborn children pushing down on her. The moment he spoke her name, her heart sped up, and a smile broke on her jaws. He was an odd, wolf, to her, she actually cared about his thoughts- how he would feel about her. What would he think? She stood there, though a smile lightly on her jaws, worry prickling at her. Would he cast her away? Would she lose yet another friend? His words, when he noticed her condition, were unsettling, though he didn't seem judgmental, his voice was gentle, even though he referred to her king as a demon. That actually made her laugh lightly, shutting herself up almost immediately, she looked at him seriously, opening her mouth to speak, before he spoke again. He... missed her? Actually missed her? The feeling that accompanied those words, it was strange. "Seraphim..." She breathed, "I let him..." Her voice was barely an ashen whisper, elusive, quiet, a whisper. "But, I missed you too...." Looking up from the ground, where she had been glancing as she spoke, her own golden eyes were captured by the simplicity but captivating beauty of his green. Would he turn her away? Would he want nothing to do with someone who's body was claimed by another? Would she lose another friend? Speech,

Seraphim

i?m radioactive, radioactive

He couldn't deny it, her words pained him. Of course she had let Isardis do what he had done. That was nothing surprising to Seraphim, but it hurt to hear it out loud. I know, he uttered in response, also speaking almost in a whisper. His gaze dropped to the ground momentarily as he regained his focus, determined not to let this get in the way after hearing her next words.



When he returned his gaze to hers, there was a fire blazing within his eyes. He took a step closer, coming almost nose to nose with her. What he wanted to ask her had come to his mind almost instantly and seemed to be the clearest thought he had harbored in weeks. It was crazy, insane really, but he had to know. Eris, he began, his voice unwavering. Would you leave Glaciem? He paused, giving her a moment to react before continuing.



I can tell when I speak with you that it does not give you everything you desire and deserve. I knew it from our very first meeting. You know that Taurig leads Tortuga, and he would protect anyone who sought a better home in place of his father's wretched kingdom. You deserve to be loved, not to be treated as a vessel for his power. His words came with a conviction unlike any they had ever had before. It was so new, so powerful, he could hardly believe what he was hearing himself.



I will love you and I will love your children in a way that he never could or would.

Tagged: Eris

Her feelings about letting Isardis breed her were mixed. While she did not hate the life that brewed inside her, she couldn't say that she welcomed it with open paws. She would love her pups, whichever ones that she would have, and she would die to defend them if she had too. The words that Seraphim spoke cut to her heart, 'I know.' Funny how two little words brought her nearly to tears, nearly to her knees. Who was he and what was this power he seemed to hold over her. 'Eris, would you leave Glaciem?' Her heart stopped. He was close now, closer than he had ever been to her. His scent was over-powering, he smelled good, almost like coming home after a long hunt. His words though were words nearly of insanity. No one just left, Glaciem, and anyone who placed their loyalty there knew that. No one walked away. She knew what happened to wolves who simply tried to leave, it wasn't pretty. And the tensions between Taurig and his father, she couldn't add to that? Could she? "Seraphim..." She breathed. He didn't know what he was suggesting, what he was saying that she should do. He didn't realize the ramifications. His following words warmed her, they were sweet, so sweet, and kind, and she wanted to step closer to him, but she held herself back. She couldn't afford to be blinded by emotion now. What she was hearing it was insanity! It was a ploy. Something to test her loyalty, it couldn't be true. She took a step back from him, looking at the ground, though her eyes snapped up to meet his when he spoke again, 'I will love you and I will love your children in a way that he never could or would.' What? She wasn't worth it. All her life, she had be told time and time again, that she wasn't worth it. Her name alone spoke of the hatred her own mother felt towards her. One other creature had claimed to love her and he had left her, so obviously he hadn't! She had relinquished all hopes of one day being loved, happy to tend to her duty. "You...saw what Isardis did to Taurig alone, you must have heard rumors of what he's done to others who have tried to leave. I can't be the cause of more conflict between Taurig and his father, that's not fair to him. He shouldn't have to fight my battles..." Her words were broken whispers, as she looked at the ground. "You barely know me..." She breathed, in reply to the last words he had spoken. "You don't know the demons, Seraphim, you can't see the ramifications of this. As long as I bare his blood, he'll never let me go..." Not only that, but she was loyal to Glaciem. What about Azalea? The prisoner she had befriended. Argent, her first friend? The pups under her care? The lack of another healer in the pack was daunting. Could she just ask Isardis if she could leave? Would he grant her a chance at happiness? "Seraphim..." She said again, tears pooling in her golden eyes as she looked at him. How could he feel something for her, after meeting her once. She hadn't been a big believer in 'love at first sight' but... was it possible? Speech,

Seraphim

i?m radioactive, radioactive

For a moment, he was silent. He didn't know what to say or what to do. Watching her step away from him was like a dagger to his heart. The look in her eyes was enough to break him alone. He stood perfectly still for a moment, simply staring and trying to comprehend as she spoke. He watched her struggled and fight through her words as she fought the uncertainty that must have plagued her own mind as well. It was just too much.



At one time, Seraphim had been convinced he didn't have a heart. He had been certain that he would never care for another adult wolf, had been convinced that he would never be a father because he would never love a female enough for her to give him that honor. How wrong he had been. It was fatherhood that had opened him up to this... This consuming feeling that he couldn't shake no matter how hard he tried.



Did he love her? No, that wasn't it. Simply, he knew that he would love her. The feeling was growing and expanding inside him and he was sure that one day it would be too much and he would burst. The idea of enduring that feeling without her there seemed unfathomable, something he just couldn't consider.



Finally he would speak, his voice low and even, his eyes never leaving hers. I have heard of what Isardis has done, and I honestly didn't care until I saw what happened to Taurig. Taurig is his child and he did not hesitate to do what he did. What kind of wolf - what kind of father - is capable of that? He shook his head slightly and sighed. I merely said that Taurig would welcome you. But he would not fight your battles, because I would not let him. I am the one asking you to leave. If Isardis sought to punish someone, it would have to be me.



He took another step closer, closing the distance between them again. You are right, Eris. I barely know you. But I want to know you, I want to know all of you. And the way I feel now tells me that nothing could change that. He paused, giving her a moment to take in his words before continuing.



If you want to leave, I will help you decide when and how. But... If you want to stay, I will do what I have to to continue to see you and make sure you are happy. I cannot simply leave you behind, but believe me, I have tried.

Tagged: Eris

Her heart was torn. It was literally breaking as she stood in front of the pallid brute. Her loyalty to Glaciem versus her loyalty to herself and her own happiness. A loyalty she had never gotten to chase, thus far in life. Her loyalty to her gift, and her loyalty to those who needed her. Could she honestly just walk away from that? Could she live with herself if she did? She could see the pain that she was causing him, and she felt helpless. She didn't know what to do. God, she didn't know what to do. His words cut into her heart, and a sharp breath left her, as he mention the idea of fighting her battles. She couldn't think about it, couldn't think about what would happen if Isardis, the father of her children tore into someone as pure, as good as Seraphim. The thought froze her heart, and when the fear released her, it was beating wildly, echoing in her rib-cage. He stepped closer to her, and she looked up at him, blinking her golden eyes rapidly. His words, he was melting her resolve her reasons. All her logic. Suddenly she stepped closer to him, completely closing the gap between them, pressing herself into him, her words leaving her jaws a whisper. "Seraphim.. I want too be happy, but I can't let you fight my battles, God, help me I can't." Tears softly rained from her eyes, the sadness an emotion that she had been experiencing a lot as of late. "I don't see why you want to know me, but I can tell, you're good, Seraphim, so good, that I can't help but 'want' to know you as well..." Pulling back from him, she would look at him, her eyes cloudy with emotion. "It's not as simple as walking away. I can't just leave those under my care. There isn't yet another healer in Glaciem, a few warriors can do some, but no one whose whole life is healing... Seraphim, I can't leave them, even if it kills me not too." Stepping back away from him, she looked at the ground, her body shaking with emotion. Would she sacrifice her happiness for her duty? For her people? Yes. Without hesitation, even if it tore her apart, because that was the right thing to do and she knew better than most, that sometimes the right thing hurts the most. Her resolve was back, her eyes hardening. "I can't run away from my problems, it'll just create bigger problems. There has to be another way." Speech...

Seraphim

i?m radioactive, radioactive

As she pressed into his fur he held his breath. Seraphim was surprised by her closeness, and was not prepared for it in the slightest. He was unsure how to handle her words, how to comfort her. It seemed that this choice was weighing even heavier on Eris than it was on him, even though she seemed to have made up her mind.



He knew before she said it directly that she wouldn't leave Glaciem. That, morally, she couldn't. And he understood, as much as it pained him. He watched her step away from him and he let her go, not wanting to continue the contact. It would only make this harder on the both of them. For a long time, he simply maintained eye contact with her, grappling with his words. How could he say this without it sounding unfortunate?



He exhaled.



I understand, Eris - you cannot leave Glaciem any more than I could leave Tortuga. You are needed there, for those who deserve your help. For the women and children who are as happy with their lives there as you are. Not everyone in that pack was evil, he knew this and he accepted it.



If there is another way, I will gladly pursue it. But at this moment, I can think of nothing other than the death of Isardis that would be an alternative, and it is unlikely that we will experience that any time soon.

But I hope that this war may do him in...

Tagged: Eris

How long can we keep this up? The dame didn't like it. She wasn't happy, but if Ezra, her beloved mentor had taught her anything, it was, sometimes you have to put your patients over yourself. Not everyone got to be happy. She had learned that valuable lesson in life. If everyone was happy, then happiness effectively wouldn't exist. She supposed the pain she felt in heart, was worth it, if it served the greater good? She let out a sigh, trying to shut her pain down. Trying to silence the voice in her mind, she could do both. She could be happy and care for those under her. She could. I'll make sure to keep my distance... His words came as a shock to her. Did he really understand her obligations to those under her care? Her jaws parted slightly, a shocked sigh escaping her. Her eyes widened slightly, at the last bit of his words. The death of Isardis... she hadn't even considered, but she was a healer, a fighter of death. Did some deserve not to be fault for, for their crimes? Had he really committed a 'crime' per-say or had he just trod on some unfortunate toes? Her head tilted slightly to the left, her mind slipping off to think on that. i'm the ghost of a girl, that I want to be most She looked at Seraphim, considering everything he had said to this point. Her breath came out softly, her words holding a tint of a question. "I could.. ask Isardis if I could leave..?" She spoke aloud, thinking more to herself than actually suggesting the slightly absurd idea. She'd never just walk away... would she? Golden eyes, searched for green, as she tried to grasp an idea, tried to come up with something, if anything that she could do. i can't decide, if i'll let you save my life, or if i'll drown.. "Why is this so hard?" She would ask in a whisper, wondering if the pallid brute would actually have an answer for her. Standing there alone, in the fall breeze, she shivered, actually feeling the cold, and the loneliness she felt. To do what was right or to be happy? Why couldn't she simply choose both? Speech...

Seraphim

i?m radioactive, radioactive

Shame washed over him as he actually laughed at her suggestion. It wasn't a laugh in humor, but a laugh in disbelief that escaped him. She had to know that what she suggested was insane before even bringing it up. She couldn't possibly be that oblivious.



Seraphim shook his head at her attempts to solve their problem. He knew that there wasn't much saving that could be done, and her efforts only drove that knife deeper. He hardened himself against the pain instinctively, knowing that he couldn't keep his promise to do anything to see her. He steeled himself to prepare for what he about to say, doubting whether he would be able to weather the words.



While Isardis leads Glaciem, there is nothing we can do. And we can't meet like this anymore. He paused to take a breath. These meetings will only cause us pain. We will spend them the same way we are spending this one, looking for ways around the things we can't control.



His verdant gaze found her golden as he took one more step forward, bending to press his forehead to hers. Come to me when you are finally free.



He stepped back and turned to take his leave, knowing that he would probably give in at some point and see her anyway, but that he was done showing his feelings until she was able to return them fully.



-exit-

Tagged: Eris

	The laugh he uttered cut to her heart. She was being foolish, she couldn't walk away from this. Isardis would never allow it. A bitter sigh whistled between her now clenched jaw. As he spoke, she felt her heart sink, and knew the words that the ivory brute spoke were true. They couldn't keep meeting like this, lo, they'd risk the consequences. Consequences that neither one of them could afford. Her golden eyes met his deep green ones as he stepped close to her, pressing his fore-head against hers. 'Come to me when you're free.' With that he turned to leave, and a slight tear trickled from her eyes, as she left out a sigh. "One day I will." She breathed into the air, wondering if he heard her in his retreating form. One day she would escape Glaciem, or die trying. One day she'd get to be happy. As she turned, moving back towards her territory, she wondered if her promise was in vain, would she ever be free? Her golden eyes steeled, as she fought the depression emanating from her form. Her pack-mates needed her. Her children needed her, and one day, she'd see to it that she could be happy. Somehow, someway. -exit ERIS-

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