ardent

Of Monsters and Memories

Sea <3



Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-06-2023, 01:24 PM

The great mountain range with the waterfall was becoming something of a regular haunt for Crux by now, outside the forest within Armada lands it was probably one of the best sources of herbs. For the time being that was, after all the chill of winter was hard to miss even in the typically less frigid parts of his stomping grounds. That was why Crux was here today, he wasn't sure when winter would well and truly settle in, when the frost would become harsh enough to kill the flora around them and he wanted to stock up before then. Riya was not with him today, his leopard companion had agreed to gather up what she could from areas he was less familiar with. Did that mean he had made the trek himself? Yes, but he was able to move with much more confidence of his footing here than he once had.

The young man had already made his way to the forest that ringed the pool fed by the falls. He'd made a mental note of useful plants he'd passed on the way but his first objective had been the water itself. He was exhausted. More confident yes, but the trip would always be a little more arduous for him than others and on top of his limbs feeling a little weak and shaky he was parched. Crux leaned down to lap up the frigid water. One of the downsides of Riya being gone was that there was no one to watch his back, especially in moments like this where he was more vulnerable. His stance was wider than an average wolf's might be to ensure he was properly stabilized as he leaned over the water, unaware he wasn't the only one at the falls this day.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-06-2023, 02:19 PM
Triss was back at the grassy valley beneath the mountain. She wasn't sure exactly why. If she just liked this place, or if she was hoping for a revisit of her playmate. While she lazily explored the territory, a rabbit popped its head out of a borrow. Oddly unaware of her presence. She immediately crouched in the grass, waiting for it to take a hopping step, and then another. Bringing it away from the safety of its hope. Grinning widely, she coiled her hunches and shot forward. It saw her in the same instant, and was gone like a rocket.


But she didn't mind, the chase was half the fun, right? She laughed wildly, unaware of the wolf that had just appeared by the stream. She was heading in that general direction after her prey when she felt a sudden pressure in her throat. She drew in a breath, and her lungs felt empty. She drew in another, and it seemed to miss that satisfied feeling of filling her lungs. She drew to a sudden stop, leaning forward, trying again.


She felt like she couldn't breathe. She drew in a gasp, and then another. "Help." She wheezed. "Mumma, help" her voice was faded and gaspey. She didn't stand a hope of raising it high enough for anyone in the pack to hear.



Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-06-2023, 03:11 PM

A strange wheezing sound reached Crux and he lifted his head, tongue swiping up the last drops of the water on his lips, he narrowed his eyes and turned his head towards the sound. It took what felt like a lifetime to grasp what he was looking at, a form stopped behind him her body heaving in a way he hadn't seen before, the noise coming from her as she seemed to struggle to... Breathe. Oh gods! What felt like a lifetime had really only been a second or two, almost immediately as he realized what he was looking at Crux was loping towards her, his legs protesting and his gait awkward as he pushed himself to get to her as quickly as his leg would let him.

She was so tiny! He could hear her trying unsuccessfully to fill her lungs. For a flash his entire brain felt like it had emptied out. What had he learned? Then it seemed to snap into place. "I'm a healer, I can help." He said by way of explaining what he was about to do. "Don't lean over yourself, sit down but sit up straight you need to not compress your air way." He instructed firmly but kindly. "Try to calm down if you can, focus on the rhythm of your breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth." He lifted a paw as he inhaled exaggeratedly, lowering it as he exhaled hoping it'd help her to stop her clear panic and get her to focus on her breathing. He cast his gaze around, silently cursing that he didn't have anything on him to help, tea leaves were still new to him but he knew cold was bad for difficult breathing.

She was so tiny. He looked at her. "Just nod or shake your head. Can I touch you?" He could pretty easily warm her body with his own body heat if he had to, but he wasn't about to grab a total stranger and hold them against their will, if anything was going to make her panic more that would be it.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-06-2023, 03:20 PM
Suddenly, there was  a wolf in front of her. Tears were flooding her vision, and she knew she was panicking. He smelled like Armada, and for a moment she thought Warden had found her. But when he spoke, she knew the voice was that of a stranger. Or, well… assumed stranger. It was complicated, and the brain fog was thick around her as her panic gave her little room to think.


The stranger seemed to be helping her, and there was no room to be shy when she felt like she was dying. Her lungs were burning, and her throat felt raw. How could she explain to him about the crystals in her throat? She couldn't breathe, let alone speak. She managed to drag her head up, trying to mimic the posture he told her to. She wanted to curl in on herself, and it was an effort to do otherwise. She raised her head, and felt a faint trickle of air enter her lungs. But success only made her more desperate. She opened her mouth wide, gasping it in and started to choke. She coughed and wheezed, and that faint breath already felt long ago.


But then Mr Stranger was telling her to breathe through her nose, out through the mouth. She noisily complied, even though her nose was running. Her face was damp with tears and snot. When he asked permission to touch her, she frantically nodded. Anything to help her breathe. He was all she had, and she very much did not want to die.



Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
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Extra large
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posts
231
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Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-06-2023, 11:02 PM

He winced as the girl began to cough, but things were moving so much faster than he'd ever expected and he simply filed away what he would need to do once there was a moment to, no pun intended, breathe. She gave her consent to be touched and Crux quickly moved to wrap himself around her, laying down behind her and curling his bulk around her absolutely minuscule frame, he made sure his thick pelt was kept clear of her face so nothing else could impede her breathing. It was an almost protective move, and he couldn't help but feel like it was uncomfortably paternal. But keeping her warm would hopefully help. He still wished he had tea or something, no doubt her throat was raw and she was probably dehydrated but the water from the falls would only risk starting a whole new fit at this point, chilled by the oncoming winter. So this was the next best thing.

"Okay breathe with me." He instructed and again began to breathe deeply, in through his nose, out through his mouth. Hopefully it'd be easier for her to regulate her breathing if she matched his own, and it would have the added benefit of helping to calm her if so. He just hoped she'd get the hang of it before he got light headed himself. He could see the other side of this though, he intended to stay with the small girl until she was calm enough to breathe or... Well if she passed out then he supposed he knew how to help her there to.


"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-06-2023, 11:31 PM
She hadn’t expected the complete stranger to wrap himself around her. If she wasn’t already panicking and struggling to breathe, she might have panicked about this unexpected development instead. As it was, she only had room for one problem at a time. She concentrated hard on her breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Again, and again, and again.

She concentrated on that, and on the wolf in front of her. And slowly, painfully slowly, but surely, she could feel the attack slowly ebb away. Her breathing felt like it was actually doing something. Her desperate lungs were filling, and with it much of her panic began to ease. Breathe. She could breathe.

A couple more lungfuls of air, and then she felt almost normal again. Through a normal where her throat felt wrecked, her heart was a little quick, and there was a strange wolf wrapped around her. She cleared her throat, wincing a little. “It’s over now” she said, sounding as if she had gurgled stones for an hour. “You can, uhm. Let me go now.”

"Cryptis"



Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-07-2023, 12:22 AM

Her breathing was getting more regular and he could feel her tension starting to release, at least a little bit. The adrenaline started to leave his body and he felt the strain he'd put on his limbs just rushing over to help her, he closed his eyes and tipped his head back for a moment, taking a second to calm himself, breathing a sigh. He nodded absently as she started to speak, hearing her voice for the first time and then it clicked in his brain and Crux's anxiety shot up again. "Right!" He said a little too loudly, practically jumping to his paws... Or well whatever his equivalent was since he would never actually be nimble enough to actually jump to his paws. He bit down on a wince as he bumped his cuffed leg on the ground painfully as he moved but he was up and the girl was free! "Sorry." Blood had rushed to his face due to the whole thing and as he looked at her properly for the first time Crux realized she really was just small. He'd assumed she was a younger wolf, a child, but he could see there was maturity in her features, a lack of baby fat and it only made him blush deeper, his gaze shooting up to the sky as he tried to hide his embarrassment. Crux would never feel badly for doing what had to be done to help someone who needed it but that didn't mean he couldn't suddenly be self conscious about it, especially when he'd maybe done something otherwise a little too familiar with a total stranger.

"I'd give it a bit more time to make sure you're alright because sudden cold can trigger an attack but once you're sure it's probably a good thing to get a drink, help your throat." His gaze was still on the sky as he spoke. He tried to focus on the pendant against his chest, the cuff on his foreleg the usual items that helped him centre himself. It did help. He took a few deep breathes himself and finally lowered his gaze to watch the young woman. "Are you uh- Are you from around here?" He was worried about her being able to get home, maybe this was her home. Was this what others thought about him when they spotted him out and about? That thought made him hate that he'd even asked. "I'm from a pack nearby here if you need a place to stay or rest for a bit." His eyes slid down to his paws as he spoke, feeling so so aware of what it must look like to her, he'd practically held her against her will and now he was prying into where she lived, offering to take her home. He was usually pretty adept with his words but that was usually when the situation was less... Stressful. He could banter with the best of them, but that kinda required someone who could banter back. Right now? Right now all he could feel was how awkward he was, how unused to being around others his own age he was, how much his bedside manner sucked the moment the disaster was dealt with.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-07-2023, 12:32 AM
There was an awkward pause where she remained in the stranger's grasp, and the words seemed to take a moment to kick in. When they did, she was surprised to see the awkwardness of his movements. She hadn’t seen him approach her, and hadn’t had much attention for anything outside of her panic until now. As it was, she was surprised to see a touch of resemblance to Warden on this wolf. That, plus the scent of Armada told her that it was very likely they were related.

Warden had been a friendly sort, and if this wolf's actions were any indication, it seemed he was much the same. Still, she found she couldn’t meet his eyes. As her eyes landed somewhere in the vicinity of his chest, she caught a hint of blue. Her eyes drifted lower, and she squinted at the strange form of crystals around his leg. She tilted her head, her muzzle opening slightly. She wondered, just then, if he looked down her throat, would he see something familiar to him? She imagined trying to tell him to do just that, and heat flared on her own cheeks. Keeping her eyes low, she didn’t realise that his own were up somewhere in the vicinity of the sky. Instead, she dragged her attention back to his chest, and listened to him speak. Nodding along slowly. “That makes sense, thanks. A drink sounds good…” Man, talking was rough. She tried to clear her throat a little, but it didn’t seem to help any.

“I’m from Insomnia, it’s just over there. Are you… a…” what had Warden called himself? “A Fatalis? You remind me of my friend” She explained, though she really ought to use fewer words. Wow, talking sucked.


"Cryptis"



Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-07-2023, 10:54 PM (This post was last modified: 08-07-2023, 10:56 PM by Crux. Edited 2 times in total.)

Normally Crux had a sort of sixth sense for when anyone was looking at his leg, even if he wasn't looking directly at them but right now his mind was so wholly focused on his own self-consciousness that he was much less aware, much less focused on the world right now. He nodded as the girl agreed a drink sounded good, thinking to himself that that was good. It was her next words that finally forced his attention to snap back to her.

For a moment Crux considered his options here. He knew little enough about Insomnia himself, had never been there of course but he was aware that there seemed to be tension between Armada and them. He didn't know why though. The girl didn't seem dangerous in any way, even he could have probably knocked her over and unless she was a top tier actress who could fake a fit so well he'd thought it was real it seemed unlikely that she was a spy. Besides he had made something of a habit of befriending wolves from packs his father didn't seem to trust, the feather pendant he wore around his neck was proof enough of that. So friendly but not necessarily forthright it was. He'd just live with having no doubt that she'd seen his leg by now and consider it even for the knowledge he had gleaned that she was likely someone with breathing issues.

"Yes, I am." He said finally, settling himself on his haunches so he felt less like he was towering over her, not that it helped much. "My name is Crux Fatalis. Who's your friend?" It wasn't like he knew all of his family intimately, his older siblings in particular weren't exactly friendly a lot of the time and the ones that were had their own shit going on but it seemed unlikely that he wouldn't know whoever the young woman would mention. Especially if she had taken to crawling around lands this close to his own home.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-07-2023, 11:43 PM

She got her confirmation a moment longer, and she felt herself relax a little with him. Warden was a good sort, and if his family was anything like him, Crux must be, too, right? So far that seemed to be holding true. He had raced to help her, and she very well might have died if he hadn’t.

“I’m Cryptis Klein” She told him, since it was only polite, he had told her his name. “Your brother, Warden.” She said in response to that, mistaking the relationship. They were fairly close in age, but too distant to be from the same litter. But it was still the assumption she made. She kept her eyes on the vicinity of his chest. Realising she knew exactly how soft the fur there was. She felt heat in her cheeks again. Getting bragged like that by a stranger wasn’t exactly the normal for her. At least it wasn’t like her kidnapping. Not that she remembered that, that was still too deep in fog for her to recall.


"Speech"




Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-08-2023, 11:47 AM

Crux filed her name away, Klein huh? He was somewhat familiar with that family of course, he wasn't a historian but he still knew the history of his home and the long term allegiance between that family and his own. If things were tense between Insomnia and them did they know some members of the Klein family were among their number? Or maybe this was an estranged branch? He decided that while he was curious he wasn't really that desperate to get to the bottom of this mystery. Maybe he'd bring it up with his father later... If he remembered.

He perked somewhat when Cryptis mentioned Warden and despite himself he couldn't help a surprised laugh, an ankle rising to cover his mouth. "Sorry, you just surprised me." He said, still more aware of himself and not wanting to seem like he was mocking her in any way. "Warden is my nephew." One of many, and he wondered for a moment if he'd actually met this new family member yet or not. He knew their names but with so much family wandering around it wasn't hard to simply not have been properly introduced yet. That thought was quickly pushed away but a much more important one. "My uh, older brother's kid." He said quickly, emphasizing that it was one of his older siblings. None of his litter mates had kids yet, thank god. Not that he assumed that'd always be true and he wasn't blind to the blossoming romances several of his siblings seemed to have found themselves in. He found his gaze sliding towards the young woman and did his absolute best to tell himself there was no link between those thoughts and the fact his eyes seemed to have wandered over to her without him meaning. He took her in properly for the first time. Where Ajax had been loud and bright and tall Cryptis was his near exact opposite: Demure and swathed in shadow and tiny. Crux also tried to convince himself there was no particular reason he'd made that comparison at all, simple analysis. That was all!

"Well Cryptis, if you're feeling stable now is probably a good time to get a drink, it'll help your throat and you wanna make sure you replace any moisture you lost." Was he pivoting? Maybe. He wouldn't deny feeling much more comfortable when his mind was focused on what he'd learned, on helping others... But he also hadn't failed to hear the strain in her voice, she was probably dehydrated. "Just make sure you drink slowly, even if you need to drain the whole river." Don't choke in other words, then they'd be back at square one.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-08-2023, 07:23 PM

His laughter surprised her so much that her eyes actually flitted up to his eyes for the first time. She was surprised to realise they were the same tone as the crystals that sheathed his paw. “Oh, Oh!” She said in understanding as he spoke of his brother - older, brother - being the dad of Warden. “Nephew, then. We went fishing, sort of” Except for the fact that they had been missing nets, and neither of them really knew how to fish.

She dropped her gaze again, finding prolonged eye contact stressful. “Okay, thanks again for saving me… or is it the first time?” She asked, realising she wasn’t sure if she’d said thanks. Stress, brain fog, and all that really didn’t help her keep track of things. She ducked her head a little more, embarrassed, and uncertain. Water sounded like a good distraction, so she moved to the stream as he had suggested. Her lion-like tail swished behind her as she stopped at the bank, and leaned forward. Darting a glance over at Crux again, before taking a couple cautious sips.


"Speech"




Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-18-2023, 05:49 PM

Crux couldn't help imagining Cryptis standing in the shallow water, ripples forming around her legs as she stood there trying to figure out how to fish and a crooked smile cracked across his face. She offered him thanks for his help and he shook his head then realized that she might not have seen that so added voice to his refusal. "Please don't thank me." He really hoped she wouldn't any further than she already had, he felt self-conscious about it all, that little inferiority complex rearing it's ugly head once the adrenaline had worn off. "I knew how to help so I couldn't just stand by and watch. Anyone else who knew would have jumped in too." Okay he couldn't say that for sure but he was almost certain anyone else who had would have had a better idea about how to keep her warm and avoid embarrassing her. There was always something he would never do well enough. For who? Who knew, maybe it was just himself.

He watched her walk over to the lake and he settled himself on his haunches, letting some of his tension slip away. He offered her an encouraging nod as she glanced back at him before she set to drinking. Crux sighed, tipping his head back for a moment, trying to keep his breathing regular. She was okay, he could stop feeling so on edge. He hadn't realized just how hard his heart was hammering against his ribs until now. He was glad he had been there and the alternative didn't bear thinking about but he still hadn't conquered the anxiety that spiked through him each time he had to actually use the skills he'd been developing, terrified that one day he might mess up in an irreparable way. A worse thought entered his mind... Now what? He wasn't sure he had an answer, maybe helping her back home? Maybe it'd be better if he just left her alone, he could always come back another day... That thought made his stomach drop in a way that wasn't just worry, disappointment? He pushed that from his mind. Well, he supposed if it was about Cryptis then he ought to follow her lead, so he'd wait for her to give any indication of her intentions or preference.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-18-2023, 09:53 PM (This post was last modified: 08-18-2023, 09:54 PM by Cryptis. Edited 1 time in total.)
She was surprised when he declined her thanks. She knew how far up shits creek she would have been if he hadn’t been around. She hadn’t fully understood her mothers warning about her breathing until today. It was a little intimidating to know that danger lurked inside of her. But she was also a kid, and she bounced back easily enough.

Once she had taken a few careful sips from the river, her throat was feeling even more at ease. She splashed a paw gently across the surface, and grinned, glancing back towards Crux. “So, what brought you to this river, anyway?” She asked. He had to have been close by to hear her feeble cries. She was curious to learn more about the large Armada wolf. With the crystal encased leg, and gentle disposition.

"Speech"




Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-21-2023, 07:19 PM

Crux watched as the girl swiped at the surface of the water and when she glanced back at him he suddenly jolted into a more upright sitting position, her grin felt like it was beaming like the sun. Her question caught him off guard, more because he'd been wrapped up in his own thoughts than because it was a particularly surprising question. He rose to his paws as he spoke, moving towards the lake, he made sure he was giving her space as he moved to lay on his stomach at the lake's edge. "I came here to pick some herbs before winter. There aren't as many where I'm from." Sure they had the woods but the mountains that shielded them from the cruel northern winds also made it harder for many plants to grow... And he knew well enough nothing was growing on the beach.

"It's a bit of a trek." He was looking out at the other side of the lake, but he glanced at her as he jerked his head back towards his cuffed leg which due to the way his ankle was bent stuck out at an angle as it couldn't be tucked under him the way his other hind leg was. His tone was light, some days he hated his leg but most days it was just a part of who he was and he'd learned being bitter over it would get him no where. No all the better to worry incessantly instead. "I was just getting a drink after the trip when..." He trailed off, hoping she'd understand. He hadn't had a chance to collect anything so had nothing to show for his story.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-21-2023, 08:51 PM
As she spoke to Crux, he got up and brought himself a little closer. Lying down by the lake’s edge. She took one more sip of the stream to fortify herself, before trotting over to Crux’s side. Her natural shyness warred with her desire to get to know this wolf a little better. He had saved her life, and it was hard to be weary of someone who had acted so selflessly. Still, as she settled down beside him, there was enough distance that the meandering wind didn’t push their fur together.

“Do you know much about herbs? I’m trying to learn a little myself. Or, re-learn, i’m not really sure…” She trailed off. Had she mentioned her amnesia to him? She had been too busy dying to remember if she had blurted it out.

“I can’t imagine that makes your life easier. It's awful when your body betrays you, isn’t it?” She said with a sigh. Between her memory, and her asthma, she was definitely feeling that lately.


"Speech"




Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-24-2023, 10:57 PM

Crux was very aware of her moving closer, Cryptis choosing to close the distance he'd made sure to give her. He couldn't help but smile warmly. For the whirlwind his mind seemed to be he was glad she was comfortable enough for that and he visibly relaxed a bit more, sinking deeper into his position. She asked if he knew much about herbs and Crux flashed her a quick quizzical look when she said she was trying to re-learn but considering how often he felt like he didn't retain anything he was learning he explained his confusion away and responded by shrugging. It was a bad habit of his to down play himself and he was doing it again. "Some? It's hard, we have other healers who have been absolutely amazing but they're also really busy. I'm not where I'd like to be." Halo had children to look after, and both his sister's had other duties beyond those of a medic to take care of... It wasn't even really Gossamer's job and Aris also had children on top of keeping on top of her form since she was also a fighter... Even then he still placed the majority of his displeasure with his knowledge on himself. He should have started sooner, figured all this out earlier... Maybe- He clamped down on the wisps of thought that were trying to summon the image of his mother. Not the time, and certainly not the place.

Luckily the topic was shifted and he glanced back at his leg. A half chuckle, half huff leaving his lungs. "You'd think you'd stop getting surprised, but even being born with it... It still finds ways to suddenly destabilize me." This time he actually chuckled. "Pun very much intended." He very much disliked the looks of sympathy, of horror he'd gotten from those meeting him the first time. Nothing worst than the too long stares though and he'd learned it was often easier to lift that tension for them, just one more thing he was expected to do for them. Make them feel comfortable. No no don't worry, I'm one of the good ones. You can stare it's fine.  He hated it, hated even more that he still got it from his family sometimes. Maybe that was why he liked the few times he got to commiserate with Kyanite. They couldn't know what the other's life was like, not really but they could share in the frustration, could vent about being treated with kid gloves... Once upon a time he'd had another sister to share in the frustration with, a hole in his life he doubted would ever be filled.

But the joke he'd just given, hadn't been for her. It had been for him. Because at the end of the day this was him, would always be him. And he was okay with that. "But to an extent I've never known anything else so is it really betrayal when I'm the one who keeps forgetting?" Crux tossed her a wink. "Without it I'd not be me. At the end of the day I want to like who I am." Oh he was a mess for sure, full of anxiety and worry and unearned guilt but he wasn't sure he'd even be the same person if he hadn't had some paths closed from him. Maybe he was the only one who felt that way but he'd had more than enough time to think on what his disability meant for him, and he'd realized that no matter what anyone said it was part of him and he could either hate himself for the rest of his life or he could make his peace and learn to forgive himself a bit more when he was less able than those around him. Just a tiny bit. He was working on it.

"If that makes sense?" Crux looked at her a little anxiously, suddenly doubting that she'd understand. They weren't the same but neither were he and Kite, so he would hold out some hope. He certainly didn't want to seem like he was downplaying anything she went through.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-24-2023, 11:18 PM
She glanced over at him, her expression a little wistful as he spoke of having other healers. Amazing healers. She didn’t actually know who in Insomnia was a healer. Who she could go to for advice and lessons. She was mostly piecing things together herself, asking her mother enough questions to ensure she didn’t accidentally poison herself. “You seemed pretty knowledgeable when you were saving my life” She pointed out to him. Actually, he had seemed very heroic with his actions. While she had mostly just tried not to die or spew on him.

She looked at his leg again, her expression a little sullen. “My mum said I have crystals in my throat, and that I can’t overexert myself. I didn’t really get what she meant until today. Why crystals? Do you know?”She asked softly, curiosity catching her, despite the morbidity of the thoughts. Two cripplied kids, and she wondered ‘why them’.

If that makes sense Now she looked a little stricken. Her emotions on her sleeve for the world to see. If she’d ever known how to hide them, she’d forgotten. “I… I don’t understand. I don’t know who I am.” She could feel the tears at the edges of her vision. No good. She didn’t want to let them out. “I knew once, and something happened, and I don’t anymore. All I've done is forget.” That frustration she was too shy to really show bubbled to the surface. She didn’t want to rub it in everyone's faces that she had forgotten them. She had pushed it down, but his words broke the dam. She rubbed at her eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

"Speech"




Crux

Hellborn
Apothecarist

Master Healer (256)

Intermediate Navigator (45)

Pacifist

age
3 Years
gender
Male
gems
1492
size
Extra large
build
Light
posts
231
player
Lolaf

1KPride - PansexualSamhain 2022
08-29-2023, 01:47 PM

Crux tried not to think too hard on Cryptis' praise, he shrugged non-chalantly. How could he express that he'd been in a panic the whole time? That he didn't know how he'd known what to do because half the time if you asked him he'd forget everything.

Luckily the focus shifted to something else and Crux looked at her intently as she spoke of her own disability, crystals too... He almost didn't hear her question his mind already racing. He'd always assumed that his mother's sickness and his and his sister's disabilities had been a chicken and egg scenario, unclear which one had caused the other but they had always seemed intertwined in his mind. Maybe... Maybe that wasn't the case? But the conclusion he was left with was an unsettling one. If other children could be born with the crystals affecting them in such ways then... Their mother's sickness hadn't been the cause, which left the alternative as far as he understood it. As if he needed more reasons to feel guilty over her death.

But things were going from bad to worse, it seemed he had put his paw in his mouth. He watched in horror as the girl broke down. Oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh shit oh shit. Crux wasn't sure this was his worst nightmare but it was certainly up there! She'd forgotten... the earlier comment about relearning suddenly clicking into place when he'd been the one to dismiss it. "I'm-" He cut himself off. He hated it when people pitied him for his disability, he didn't want to pity her, he wanted to help! But how could he? He hadn't known her before this, had no idea who she had been. Didn't even know what had triggered memory loss.

"I'm sorry Cryptis I was unaware." It was a start he guessed. "I can't imagine what that must be like." He wasn't going to downplay something he couldn't even begin to understand. "I don't know who you were Cryptis. But there are some things I think I see. I see that you're a friendly enough wolf to spend time with my young nephew and entertain him. I see that you're a kind enough wolf to remember him and a smart enough wolf to recognize patterns enough to link the two of us together. I won't pretend I know you but there are things about you here and now that give me an idea." Crux tried to keep the uncertainty he felt from his voice, was he saying the right thing, was he coming across as patronizing? He hated that what he wanted to do was really just reach out and help her to wipe her eyes and just let her know she was safe to cry here if she wanted but he dared not touch her again.

"Speech"


Art by TheStarvingRaven
Updated 04/30/23: Still on indefinite scarcity, please do not remind me of threads I am behind on right now.

Crux has a 6 inch long burn scar on his throat, most of his art does not reflect this.



Cryptis

Hellborn
Princess

Intermediate Healer (45)

Intermediate Intellectual (30)

age
2 Years
gender
Female
gems
33
size
Extra small
build
Light
posts
152
08-29-2023, 03:10 PM
He'd taken note of and remembered a surprising amount about her. In fact, she didn't think she could ever remember feeling so seen. She closed her eyes, and listened to the warm sound of his voice. It was as soothing as honey down a sore throat. It grounded her, and pushed away the tears. He was a wolf that didn't see her as a victim, even though she had almost made herself one in front of him (twice, if they were keeping count). 


When she opened her eyes again, she knew no new tears would fall. She rubbed away the ones that had settled in her coat and took in a soft breath. "You paid attention to all that?" She asked him, her voice a little shaky but growing stronger. Now that she has pushed aside that sudden pang of sadness, she thought back on his words a little more carefully. "If the crystals make you who you are, then I like them. I like who you are, Crux. she barely knew this wolf in front of him, but every movement, every breath he made seemed to be designed to help her. She didn't think she'd ever met a wolf like him before.