Though he had not won his fight against the old Warlord, Gil was not going to let it hold him back. There was a lot of work that needed to be done. Both as a pack and individually. He wasn't exactly sure which way to go about it first, but since he had been working with a few of the youngsters already, he figured approaching Rivin next wouldn't hurt. Which is what he did that day.

An afternoon sun beat over the islands as Gil waded through the water and stepped up onto the shore. He looked across the sand at the place where the Armada had attacked them. Honestly, he thought it cowardly of them to raid this far away from the Isle. Were they scared to navigate the shadows of their home? Or was it merely an attack strategy to get them worn out first? As he mulled over those thoughts, he sent his owl, Erish, out to fetch Rivin for him. He would keep busy until she arrived.

"speech"

She might have lost in the raid, but Rivin had apparently channeled her energy into fighting something else and winning. And nearly dying in the process. The fact she had been unable to recall fighting the cat bothered her. A blank in her memory. She tried to push past it, trying to salvage what plants remained of her meager garden. She’d need to gather more plants too, harvest the seeds so she could prepare a larger garden next year… but that would have to be later. She lifted her head as one of Gil’s companions found her, instructing the yearling that the Raid King desired her presence. Was that so? She’d give a nod to Lark and Feng, having her companions follow her. Lark walked on the side with her neck injury, casting the occasional glance to make sure the poultice was still in place. He worried for her.

Rivin and her companions would follow Gilgamesh’s owl to the beach where the man was busy doing something or another. Rivin furrowed her brow, paws still dirty with the soil she’d been digging in as she stepped into the sand and approached him. “You wanted to see me?” She arched her brow, wondering if this was about her poor performance in the raid. Certainly wouldn’t be the first time an adult told her she was shit at fighting and made her feel like it was her fault she didn’t have instruction. She was trying, even if she didn’t remember the fight she’d had. The medicine on her neck wound was proof of that.

"Speech," 'Thought.'

It would not take long for the girl to arrive. At first, Gil was pleased that she had not left him waiting, but upon seeing her, his expression fell. At first, blank, void of any emotion as he registered the covered wound on her neck and the not-so-great expression she wore herself. Had something happened that he hadn't noticed at the raid? He thought he had kept decent tabs on all of his wolves... Gil's brow furrows as she speaks to him with some sort of attitude. Teenagers. A huff releases from his nostrils as he settles back into a sitting position. Okay well, his plan might not be going to go as he had thought.

Clearing his throat, Gil relaxes his brow and simply looks at Rivin. "I have been approaching all of the younger wolves," he starts and pauses, waiting to see if she is listening or even cares to hear what he has to say. "What is it that you wish to do in the pack? Do you wish to be a fighter or is there a different path you seek?" He places the question out in the open. No expectations, no stress except for her to be honest. While he did want his pack to be good at fighting, he also did not want them to kill themselves over it either.

"speech"

His expression shifted. It was unreadable but Rivin could only assume that he had noticed the injury on her neck. Rivin shifted. Calico had been worried. Lark had been worried. She sighed, her guarded posture falling. She was sick of this. Would it even matter in the long run anyway? The Raid King would speak and her ears swiveled back toward him. Her gaze flicked up and met his own. Though she struggled with her emotions and the odd state of her mind, having the angst of a teenager, there was still discipline within her and enough respect for the man to listen to him.

Meeting with the younger wolves. Rivin frowns at this and wonders if he has already met with Diablo… but she doesn't speak yet. The question catches her off guard. Her gaze deviates and Rivin's tail lashes back and forth.

"I… don't know." An honest answer fell from her lips as her voice grew quiet. "I enjoy fighting but I've also been trying to bring plants from Fern Gulley here in an attempt to transplant them. It would be better to have them close in case someone gets hurt." Rivin shook her head. "Doubt dad would be cool if I started practicing medicine more anyway. He made it pretty clear he isn't happy with the progress of me or my sibling during the first raid. The fact I won one of my fights wasn't even acknowledged. Not even sure if he'll care I nearly drowned after trying to return from a fight on Black Island either. Probably just criticize me for not being strong enough or using my full potential again."

Rivin gave Gil context. She didn't think it would change anything but it did make it clear why she wasn't sure what she wanted.

Gil was a man of few words. He lacked the ability to really be empathetic, but in a way, since becoming a father, he had a better understanding. The thing he didn't understand the most was why Ignis would give such a fuck about what his offspring did. As he listened to Rivin lay out all of the details, his ears fell back. His face scrunches up and he isn't sure what to say at first. It was a lot of information to process since he wasn't aware of such... trials and tribulations between Ignis and his offspring. Should the man even be reproducing at this point? A rumble builds in his throat as he decides he needs to have a discussion with the red fury.

"Why do you care what your father has to say?" Gil questions, his voice is... stern, but in a fatherly way. Curious and slightly prodding. He felt that maybe Rivin needed to get more off of her chest than she was relaying. "I am glad you are transplanting from the gulley. You should work with Sakana and Modesty to get a garden growing. There is a clearing off the south of the building that might prove useful," there is no arguing with Gil. If Rivin didn't want to fight, he would not force her. Plus, they needed good healers, ones that could help them after raids. Help him too. The creak in his wrist wasn't getting any better.

"speech"

When Gilgamesh speaks, the question catches Rivin off guard. She frowns deeply, answering honestly. “...because since I was a child, and first began to see and talk, I’ve looked up to him. My dad has been my role model for my whole life.” Which is why his words affected her so much. A sigh passes her lips, but she still doesn’t look back to the Raid King. “My… “mother” was a healer. She took off with one of my brother’s when we were very young. I’m worried that because I have an interest in that path, rather than solely fighting, my dad will look down on me for it. Maybe even compare me to her.” Her body grew tense. “It feels like the efforts I’ve been trying to make are not enough for him, even when everyone else can see them. I don’t know why it’s not enough. Why he thinks we can do so much better!” Her gaze flicked back to Gilgamesh.

She didn’t understand why it wasn’t enough. Out of her siblings, she felt that she had always tried the hardest to please their father. Her ears fell back and she sighs again. “I enjoy fighting, Gil. I want to be able to fight. But I don’t want fighting alone to define me. I’m willing to go on raids, but maybe not every one of them… Sometimes I just want to hang back and deal with the aftermath to make sure my allies aren’t bleeding out. If that makes sense…” Her final thought on the matter. If she could create wounds, she sure as hell better know how to help them heal too. He spoke of his mate, Modesty, and Sakana, and Rivin gave a small nod. “I will. It will be near impossible to harvest much more now that it is winter, but I’ve got some seeds stored and prepped for the weather turns. Between the three of us, the Raider’s should have their own garden growing before summer.”

Her gaze becomes thoughtful. “I haven’t checked on anyone after the last raid… so caught up in wanting to become stronger. What injuries were sustained?” Now that the talk has shifted her tone becomes more normalized, her tense posture lightening up, if only a little. At the very least she is talking to Gilgamesh without that edge in her voice, more willing to work with him since he is willing to hear what she has to say and talk it into consideration.

"Speech," 'Thought.'

If anything, Gil is at least a good listener. As terrible as he was as a parent back then, he almost feels a sort of guilt for not being there. Not only for his own pups but for the rest too. Ignis and Sparrow hadn't been the best parents either. And god, that woman. Rivin's mother had been a pest but made up for it by being a good healer. He could at least thank her for that, but would always hold a slight grudge for just disappearing. Who fucking did that to their family? It is obvious on Gil's face that he doesn't think fondly of the woman as his face pulls tight and he finds it hard to hold back his opinion.

He wants to interrupt her. To tell her she is nothing like her mother. But he doesn't. He stays silent as she continues. It isn't until she nearly lashes out, growing tense, and her gaze flickering back up to him does he lets out a sigh of his own. Preparing to be ... the father that he hopes to be for his new brood.

"I can only assume that he is pushing his own internal feelings of himself upon you lot," Gil starts, his yellow eyes trained on Riving so she understands that he is serious. "Your father is not all bad. He does bad things, yes. He is sick mentally and while others loathe him, I see him differently. Which also means I see you separately," The Raid King pauses and continues to leave his stare on Rivin. "You are your own wolf. You do not need to prove your worth to him. As long as you do for your pack what you would expect from them, that is all that matters," he ends that with a slow raise of a brow. Did she understand what he was saying? Or would she continue to wallow? "I shall ask once and only once. Do you want to continue your efforts to learn more about healing?" His words are straightforward and stern as his tail flicks lazily behind him.

"speech"

When Gilgamesh speaks Rivin listens. Her gaze is fixed on him, taking in the answer she has been seeking but has been unable to get. Ignis was pushing his own feelings on them? It made sense… Why else complain about yearlings without much training? Her expression falters as Gil continues to speak of her father. He was mentally sick… was she sick too? Was that what had caused the blackout? Still, Gil told her that he saw them both differently. What defined Ignis did not define her. She frowns deeply, but she does not interrupt the Raid King and processes his words. It occurs to her he had likely been in the pack for long enough he knew her mother. Knew more about her father and siblings than she thought.

She supposed he was right. Even if she didn't prove her worth to her father, who was still capable of losing fights himself, so long as she wasn't just dragging her as making an effort to help her allies it was what mattered. Rivin gave a small nod at this. "I do." Her answer was clear. "As I said before, I don't want to see my allies bleed out. I’ll fight beside them when the need arises, or if we are short on raiders, but I’d like to focus on progressing my healing skill." There was something else she needed to tell Gil though. If she was going to trust more wolves in the pack outside her tiny circle, he needed to know.

"There is one more thing, Gil." Rivin sighed. "My dad's mental sickness… I think I have it too. I don't remember leaving to get to Black Island, at all. I was angry, lashing out at trees… then darkness. Like I was asleep. When I came back I was at Black Island with a wildcat dead at my paws. I tried to swim back but I was too exhausted. I was lucky Calico Jack heard me, otherwise I would have been lost to the waves." She shook her head. "When I get angry, I get this feeling like something is crawling under my skin. It gets unbearable, and there is noise. Like a whisper? Most of the time I can’t understand it… but sometimes words slip through.”

The yearling furrowed her brow. “I don’t know if dad will talk about what it is, but if it causes blackouts where I’m killing things, I think it’s important for you to know as Raid King.” What would he make of that? Would it make sense to the man? Would he believe her?

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Their conversation is productive. Gil is glad that he sought out Rivin and spoke with her. Knowing that he has another budding healer in the ranks softens the anxiety nibbling at the back of his head. With Modesty, Sakana, and Rivin all working together to keep them from falling apart, maybe they would have a chance at winning soon. Winning would be nice. He contemplates this for only a moment before Rivin draws his attention to a new topic. One that, when he looks at her, meeting her gaze, knows it is important to listen to her.

At first, he is... taken aback. His eyes widen and then squint slightly as his brain processes this information. At least it wasn't another pack's wolf. That was something he didn't want to deal with for the moment. The Raid King mulls over her confession and he doesn't speak right away. His next words would be important to the girl and he didn't want to damage any of the repairs he had just made with her. Gil inhales a breath and exhales before speaking.

"Do you believe it is your anger that brings on this... peculiarity? Or does it happen at random?" He knew that Ignis was not always violent. At times, he enjoys the red man's company and they had had many a good night drinking together. Though he knew of Ignis' violent streak, he was not perfect himself and could not deny that he had also had his own violent moments. "If it is your anger, that is something we can work with. If it is not, then I suppose I must keep an eye out for trouble," his lips curl ever so slightly at a ghost of a smirk, teasing her gently so she understands that he isn't going to just abandon her because her mind isn't as sorted out as one might think it should be.

"speech"

His concern was reasonable. Rivin certainly didn’t want it causing an accident among her pack members, and heaven forbid if she lashed out at her best friend. The yearling had been paying attention to when those sensations occurred, and as she spoke, she could at least provide some clarity. “I don’t think it's random at all.” Rivin told him. “I don’t know if it is linked to just anger but that is the emotion I have experienced the most intensity with... and that was what sparked the last reaction. Losing my first raid fight against the Armada, and thinking about how dad verbally lashed at us last time. It frustrated me to no end. I just kept getting angrier and angrier, the feeling under my skin getting more intense and the whisper getting louder. Then there was blackness.” Rivin shook her head.

“I think the first step is going to try talking things out with my dad, if he’ll listen. Maybe I can even figure out more about this illness we have. Especially if it runs in our family. If it is the same, he might have more information than I have about it. Maybe even some way to combat against it so it doesn't happen so easily.” She wanted to get to the bottom of this and not drive herself into the ground. Wasn't a whole lot she could do if she was dead. “Unless you think I should hold off on talking to him? I'm frustrated with how he acted before, but he's still my dad. Still a Raider. I can't avoid him forever." But... she also wondered if interacting with her dad might cause that reaction again if it went poorly. Then what...? Would they fight? Her ears flicked back. She was frustrated with her dad, but he was still her dad. She'd rather them not ruin their relationship completely.

"Speech," 'Thought.'

Gil can tell she has thought about this extensively. It isn't something that she has allowed herself to succumb to. He can see how mature she is for her age and in a way, it saddens him. Almost two and here she is... wondering if her relationship with her father will be ruined over a conversation. Over something that he had given her. Something she had to live with. His stomach curls as he tries to find a good way to articulate a response. A thoughtful hum leaves him as he mulls over everything she has said so far.

"Keep track of when this... itch strikes you. Pay attention. Make notice of when it happens and why it happens. That is step number one," he speaks carefully, almost deliberately and slowly that she understands him clearly. Pausing, he regards her before continuing. "Just because he is your father or a raider, does not mean he should disrespect you. You are your own wolf. If you wish to speak with him, do so, but stand your ground," Gil eyes her, lips smoothing into a thin line as he waits for her to respond.

"speech"