THANK YOU CANTTINA!

Returning had been imminent. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Erebos had known that. When he had been at his worst, he had sought out his father against what he thought was his better judgment. He had released his anger for that moment, knowing that what he needed was his father's love. No one understood him better. He had run away again after, needing to fix his problems on his own, and had done fairly well. But without that little push from Deteste, he would've been lost.



He had only been back in Alacritia for a few weeks. Most of the time had been spent alone, except for the day he had encountered Loccian again. Her company had brought a fierce joy to him and some light had returned to his eyes. Sincec then, he had made a little progress getting back to his habits. He had begun bathing again, and had put some of his lost weight back on. He was beginning to look himself for the first time in months, but he still felt lacking of satisfaction. What Erebos needed was to thank his father for his help, to truly let go of the anger that still resided deep within him.



What it was that had drawn him here, he couldn't say, but once he reached the caves he could smell that Deteste had been here at least recently. He had come to the right place. Hesitantly he stepped inside and loosed a bark, summoning his father forth. He only hoped that now they could mend what had once been broken, but he would need answers to the questions he had kept close over the past two years first.

talk, think

The man would return to the site with little reason to do so. The snow beneath him compressing with each powerful stride that pulled him forward. Perhaps he sought Basilisk's company, seeking the boy where he had last seen him. But as the caves drew near his heart was set upon the desire for another's company entirely. Always the scent would be familiar and mistaken for an old trail for in their physicality and in their likeness they were nearly identical, the man and his son. He would find the mirror of his likeness lingering at the mouth of the caves, his chest ever white as the snow upon the ground. He was glad to see the son in such an orderly state and could not help the content smile that spread upon his otherwise tight lips and break his ever stoical expression. A bark would quicken his pace and cause the mirror image to grow until their statures would equal another. The winter sun warming his body which had cooled in the darkness of the caves. "Erebos." the man's deep voice would ring, the name accentuated with perfection and spoken with thickness, with meaning.

THANK YOU CANTTINA!

He heard him approach before he heard his greeting, and turned to face him just as the brute spoke his name. His father looked well and seemed obviously glad to see him. With a dip of his head he replied, Father. Erebos took a few steps closer before settling back on his haunches and wrapping his tail about his paws.



Thank you for coming... I needed to thank you for your help when I came to you many moons ago. I don't think that I would have survived... His voice was quiet and he stared at the ground as he spoke, too embarrassed to face the man who looked so like him. What they needed here was mutual forgiveness - Erebos needed to forgive his father for putting him to the side so often, Deteste needed to forgive his son for leaving. But could they do it? That was what Erebos worried about.

talk, think

Erebos... he would speak again, pausing as if the name left a lingering aftertaste in his mouth. The man had picked the name himself when Erebos had been a child and since that day the feeling of forming that name between his jowls brought him joy. You are my son. I know that I was not capable of providing you much when you were a child. But things are different now and I want you to know that you can come to me with any need. I cannot change our past but I can make our present a better experience. Upon falling into silence he would study his son carefully and he found himself comparing the young man's personality to those of his current litter. They were each such unique individuals and the man could only help that to play a bigger part in each of their lives would preserve their value in this world. He would bring an end to his contemplation with a final comment, Know that you are always welcome. But that you are free to lead your own life.

"Speech"

THANK YOU CANTTINA!

It was almost as though his father could hear his thoughts. The words he offered seemed almost an answer to the question that burned in his mind, but only almost. An apology was a start, but he wanted more. Needed more if he was going to move on. His words came out a whisper, wrought with emotions Erebos couldn't identify. But why, father? Why couldn't you care for me, the way you did for mother? Even Marvo...



The idea that he had been second fiddle to his brother had always plagued him. Marvo had been the lucky one. He never saw his nightmares stand before him, he never wanted to die. He had always been protected and normal, but Erebos had adored him no less for it. Instead his jealousy had been focused on his parents. Perhaps it hadn't been fair of him to blame them so fiercely, but it had been their treatment of the brother's that had burned those feelings into him. It had been their fault.



talk, think

Seriousness would settle upon the man's features as he realized the true intent of his son's visit. His lips would tighten as he considered how he would respond to the young man's inquiries. He was somewhat surprised that Erebos still clung to their history, still misunderstood it. Yet at the same time Deteste realized there was no true way for him to know the truth of what was. You must know that you were born in the winter. Laxago and I had a litter of four. Only you and Marvo survived. It was a difficult winter and as I was the only one capable of hunting I could not keep the entire litter alive. he would begin. The reality of littering without the aid of a pack was a grim one. The roots of their misunderstandings had started at a the most humanizing basis. Food.

Your mother fell ill when she had your litter. She could not care for herself, much less for you or Marvo. You cannot imagine how difficult it was to prioritize time between someone as severly ill as your mother, and two growing children. When most of the time I had to be away seeking food and a place for us to live. Accompanied by an incapable mate and two young children we were not an appealing choice for packs and thus we were constantly turned away and had to move with our prey, and had to move to seek other packs for acceptance. But you must have been aware of all of that. What haunts you most is perhaps the lack of attention you received as a child. I realized the illnesses that ailed you but I just did not have the time to dedicate to you, or Marvo. Thus you both felt the need to fight one another for a surplus affection that did not really exist. I'm sorry that you children fell into his cycle of ill feelings but it was truly the best I could do. I loved you both, I still do today but I equalized by priorities with each of you, and each of you were lacking because of it. But I assure you no one, not even Laxago, had more attention than the other. Now I have no one but myself, Erebos. Each has pursued their own life. I would call that success in the face of such, complicated hardships. I only hope that you can understand and let it all go. For your own sake.

"Speech"

THANK YOU CANTTINA!

Erebos listened intently to his father's words, considering how they matched up with his memories. He knew some of the things Deteste mentioned - his mother had been ill, at the very least in her own mind. While Erebos had silently dealt with the lack of adequate love and affection from his parents, Marvo had lashed out because of it. He had always been so angry, though Erebos never thought he had any right to be, considering he didn't suffer the ailments his brother and mother did.



He knew they had struggled, but he had never understood it. What his father was saying made sense. It was silly, really, that Erebos had never recognized it before. It had to be even harder on his father that he couldn't love and care for his family the way he should. Erebos nodded, his silent acceptance of his father's words. He had come for answers and he had gotten enough to clear the doubt in his mind. He wondered only one more thing, however.



What happened to mother?

talk, think