The Flood had been awful, but at least their treehouse still stood. Now that he has seen much of it lately. He stayed with the rest of the pack during the relief effort. He saved Spider in the initial wave, and helped his father look for survivors. He had been there when Sirius pulled out the bodies of Keahi and Ruga. There were still wolves missing. His own mother was one of them. First Azure, now Hana? He was starting to wonder if his branch of the Fatalis blood was cursed.

He spent days digging debris from his parents' den, yelling out her name with increasingly less hope. When at last the den was fully cleared, he found no sign she had ever been there.

He didn't admit to it, but he started to mourn her. Orphan, that was what he had become. He believed Azure to be dead. Now Hana? He had all but given up hope when his avian companion spoke of spotting sign of her at Whistling willows. The flood had rushed from the Col into Mile High Woods. Had she not been home at the pack at all when disaster struck? Did she know what had happened to the Armada? That her son had begun to mourn her?

Worried for his mother, he took leave from the pack and its relief efforts, and raced to the Willows. "Mum!" He called out the moment he skidded into the territory, "Mum!"

Hanako turned, her expression softening just so as she heard her son call out for her. In her sour moods it was easy to cast everyone else in the worst of lights, to scrutinise and dwell on what she thought they should have done, when in reality she only saw half of the picture. Her vision darkened by scepticism and resentment. For a brief moment, she thought to ignore him, to will her worries away as she used to. She was fast and fleet, no one else was quite as good as she was at running away from her problems.  

"I'm here Bas." She called out softly, remaining by the waterside, where her reflection rippled and danced. Distorting her image as she looked down at it.

He wasn’t entirely sure he believed she would be here - or that she would be in one piece. The moment his eyes landed on her, something tight in his chest started to loosen. He’d thought… Well, he’d thought he’d become an orphan. It still caused his heart to flutter with stress when he thought about Azure.

He hurried over to her, reaching over to grab the tiny woman and crush her into a hug. Sometimes, especially with Hana, he forgot how big he’d actually gotten. After all, he’d been tiny enough to curl up at her side once. “What happened? How did you..? I thought..” He huffed, trying to get his thoughts together.


"Speech"

Hanako was smushed into a hug, felt so tiny against her son's chest, an almost comedic parallel of how things used to be. How tiny he'd once been, all black and blue, squealing against her stomach. Their Father had expected so much from Bas and his siblings and she barely saw them. Did they blame her, that she hadn't protected them better? Deep down she knew she wasn't a good person, but to dwell on the fact she'd been a bad mother too, well some things were better left unthought. It was easier that way, to deflect blame and be angry at the world at large, wish it had treated her better.

"I'm a good swimmer Bas," She spoke gently, nuzzling against his chest a little before pulling away so she could look at him better. "But I know...it wasn't entirely fair of me to stay away and let you think something had happened to me." How could she put this, was she really going to bare her heart to the only child of hers who made an effort to speak with her, spend time with her? Because Levi was-well, he was Levi and too alike his sire in many ways. "It's not your fault- I just think of the Armada and it-" She hadn't always made the right choices, or any choices at all really, only to find herself mad at the destination her inaction led her too. A fickle woman she was.

Her answer only confused him more. He knew she was a good swimmer, but that didn’t explain how she had ended up here. So far from the pack’s flood, from everything. Did she see the flood, and then just get up and walk away? It made no sense. She was a good swimmer, but Basilisk's dense weight made him ill equipped for it. She hadn’t even stopped to see if he was okay?

“So, what? You saw the flood and thought guess no one will miss me if I went missing? were you hoping those that would miss you would die? Well, tough luck mum, I lived” He told her, his tension rising. “First Dad, and now you? Am I really that awful of a son?” He tried to sound angry, but his voice broke on the last sentence. He knew he disappointed dad. He knew he wasn’t what Azure wanted him to be. But for Hanako to walk away from him too? "I'm trying, mum." He put his whole life into trying to please his parents.

"Speech"

Hanako's chest stung, like a painful rejection, one she wasn't accustomed to feeling. And he had every right to be mad in a way, even Hanako's mental gymnastics couldn't twirl itself out of reach of that very truth. She did not pull away when perhaps she ought to, it made her sad in a way to see that he'd grown so tall, that he had such heavy burdens upon his shoulders. When had he stopped being a boy and turned into a man? She'd missed it, like a lot of things in his life. Not meant to be a mother, but more of a friend, to be liked and loved but not held accountable.

"Don't say that." There were hurt in her voice, though not quite so profound as his. And she did love him, but it wouldn't be enough because love of and in itself would never be enough. Not right or what he needed at the end of the day. "My sweet boy, you are enough and you've always been enough." The sweet words passed her lips, what she thought he wanted and needed to hear. And they weren't lies, perhaps white ones in a way, but she did think there was truth to be found in them. "You are the best of us and you always have been." She reached up to touch his muzzle, her paw felt so tiny in comparison so his face alone. "I'm not strong like you, I see trouble and I..I run. And I know it's wrong of me, I'll do better for you. I promise."

He was angry with her, but a lot of that evaporated in the face of her vulnerability, the hurt in her voice. Fear had carried him here and sustained his anger. Seeing her well, it was hard to hold it. Basilisk wishes he was small enough to crawl into her lap. For everyone else in his life, he had a deep set need to prove he was strong. That he was strong enough. Vulnerability wasn't expected of him, and his father had shaken out any such weakness from him. But Hana, she had never pushed him to be stronger.


He pushed his head into her chest, which was about the best he could manage as the giant he was. She rubbed a paw against his muzzle and he sighed. “You scared me half to death, mum” he told her. “I love you. Are you… are you really trying to leave?” He asked. Less angry, more vulnerable.

He really was such a sweet thing, gentle and kind despite his great strength. How easy it would be to hurt, even by accident. But he had always been careful, perhaps a little clumsy as he grew into his frame but well-intentioned all the same. She had many regrets and even more faults, but one good thing had come out of it all and that was her not so little Bas. Was it wrong of her to have such blatant favouritism? Maybe, but when he was here in front of her so vulnerable it only felt natural to feel as much. The expected and reasonable thing to do.

"Sometimes I think that's what I want." She admitted softly, though she knew that was not how it worked. That if nothing else Sirius would need to be spoken to, that she would have to make a choice instead of just fading away, like early morning fog driven out by the rising sun. "But I'll be back, I'll always come back to you." The words sounded right to say, even if she wasn't entirely sure if it would work out that way.  "A lot has changed and I suppose... I'm only just now sitting down to sort through it all." Was this a wolf's version of a spa retreat? Maybe, eat pray love, finding herself and all that jazz.

He didn't want her to leave him, but that was too much for him to admit to, even for him. He felt left adrift, releasing both his parents would be gone. He was making a new life for himself with Hazel and Spider. But there was something about knowing that you had your parents to fall back on. He closed his eyes, pressing his nose further into her chest. There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn't know how. So instead he cleared his throat and lifted his head. Looking at the tiny wolf in front of him.


“Alright. If that's what you want, mum, then I'll run interference with Grandpa.” He'd think of something. He'd lie to Sirius. He hadn't lied to the Warlord before, but the old wolf would be too distracted from the flood to look too deep into it. He'd say he'd sent Hanako on a mission. That was his right, as Heir. “But please, keep your companions with you. If you get into trouble, get word to me and I'll come.” He hated the idea of her out there alone, especially after last time…

She hummed softly, resting her cheek against the warmth of his chest. Feeling his heart settle into a more relaxed rate, not so distressed and thudding. In that way she supposed she was good for something, for what sort of mother would she be if she couldn't offer even if only a smidge of comfort to her children? Something good had come of this, not just more hurt piled a top of what was already there.

"I promise." And that was an easy one to make, her magpie was somewhere around here and she was sure Toshie was sleeping under some tree roots. He earned his keep sometimes, though not as often as he probably should. "I'll be more careful too. I wish I could tell you what happened, really. Sometimes I just sit there and try to remember what happened and it's just...shapes, you know?" Her voice went a little quiet, no lies or masks, she genuinely seemed bothered by this. A whole day she couldn't recall properly, blurry and unfocused, and worst of all she didn't know why they'd done that to her. Was it a random show of violence? Had they known her?