book 5: wounds
gil
Modesty had gotten him good. The now bleeding and angry wound on his chest throbbed more than he cared to admit. He stood there, blood dripping down his shoulder, watching her leave. She was sick and in no shape to be leaving, but she was her own woman and he wasn't going to argue. There was a fury there that he knew not to mess with. It was one of the things he loved about her so much. Fuck, he loved Modesty. How had he screwed it all up this bad?
Angry, sad, and so many more emotions that he didn't want to feel, Gil waited until she couldn't be seen anymore. The weather was beginning to turn and the fog that rolled in before an oncoming storm made it hard to see all the way across the courtyard. Torn between following her and following through with his own promise, Gil turns from the doorway and heads upstairs. Once he makes it to the landing, he is surprised to hear the scuffle of Jael. The sound of fire crackling in the hearth lures him into his rooms. The wide open living space is lit with warmth as he watches her from the doorway.
"She's gone," he whispers, fighting back his own batch of tears that prickle at his eyes.
"speech"
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
Gilgamesh is in a haze of static, ears muffled by the pounding of his heart. Eyes glazed over, misty and betraying the feelings he tries to shove away. He doesn't notice Jael move closer to him until she reaches out. He almost starts, his body freezing and muscles tensing, hair raising along his spine until he looks down at the small dog. There is a softness, the lines loosening as he registers who it is. Her words send a jolt of electricity through him, but he still doesn't move. He lets her in, allows her to be close, but he can't deny that he also wishes it were Modesty too. What the fuck had he done?
She speaks more words and he lets out a sigh, his resolve crumbling as he nods in agreement. When she presses to his chest, he leans in slightly, but not too much. He can't give in completely. He has others to think about than just himself. That had been a realization that had stung. Was he really that selfish? "I'm sure it'll be fine," Gil rumbles (it won't be, she got him fucking good), finally sliding away from Jael to move toward the fireplace. Crumpling down onto his side with the wounded shoulder facing upward, he lays his head down on the cold stone. His heart is torn into two, one side for each woman, but he's not even sure about that. There's something in there for Jael that he cannot deny and doesn't want to give up, but he loved his wife...
"speech"
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
Weight on her shoulder, solid. More solid than she anticipated. Tenderly, Jael traces his jawline with her muzzle. There’s so much blood, but he’s hurting in other ways she needs to tend to first. As he slips from her side, Jael moves about the room. The little brown healer had left the bathroom fairly stocked with supplies. A curved needle, one she recognized as her own craftsmanship, and some salvaged line.
It wouldn’t be fine. She knows that much. A bottle of pirate hooch to soothe the pain— Jael isn’t a healer. With a wet rag and a touch so blisteringly tender it could have melted the walls, she begins to clean the wound. Methodical, an eye for detail, but she’s trying not to hurt him further.
“It’s going to take some time to stitch up. I’m sorry.” A little whimper in her voice, reaching to nose worriedly at his cheek. Modesty had done a number on him. Jael is apologetic… she feels responsible.
He created.
But she was there. That small figure coming closer. Rag in her mouth, booze in the air. Oh, if his wife hadn't just gouged out his chest, he would be behaving much differently... Fuck.
Gil closes his eyes. Feeling the heat, letting out a hissing noise as the first singe of boozy pressure presses against his wound. His tongue sticks out between his teeth as his lips curl up in a sneer of pain. Both ears flatten as he lifts up his head to chatter his teeth in her direction. A warning. Only a warning. She needed to be careful. He was familiar with pain, but he hated being tended to.
Her whimpering voice has him settling back a moment. He didn't want to scare her. Didn't want her to run off. "Don't apologize," Gil returns gruffly, releasing a rugged sigh. "Just give me a swig of that," he rumbles, taking the bottle of booze from her side and nearly inhaling it. The sputtering cough that follows is proof that he wasn't being careful in that moment. Anything to dull the pain while she sews him back up.
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
His teeth. Her heart pounding in her chest. No, Jael can't be afraid of him too. Never has she been more afraid to be cast out, given the circumstances. Relying on the fact that Gil had still taken to her as kindly... though her thoughts raced. Mostly thoughts of him, though. Even if he would cast her out, at least let her tend to this first. No-- he's not aggressive anymore. It fades as quickly as it came on. Could she blame a man in pain?
Touch as tender as she could make it, guiding the needle through the wound. He coughs. She pauses, a tender hand over his for the moment. Stillness, while he's in motion. Worrying. "She--" the wound is deep. Jael handles it as best she can. No one else could see him like this. Was that an edge of possessiveness... a small club to witness him at-- was this his worst? Modesty first, then Jael. Her head spun. "It's because of me," the words are whispered, unable to look at him. A question? Maybe. An inference. She focused only on the wound, touch ever tender as she continued to stitch it closed.
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
No.
Don't even think it.
Though she wouldn't speak for her feelings this time, it gets harder to bite them back. Guilt weighing heavily on her chest. Jael has been selfish with him, but it won't stop. Doubling down while they are alone together here, fire roaring in the background. "I'm sorry." She isn't blameless. She knows he has a wife. But Jael is, touch tender as she ties off the sutures, clips the thread, does all the things she'd imagine a healer would do though she's unwilling to leave his side.
Satisfied he wouldn't bleed out now, she pushes the the healing supplies away. Jael would handle it later. Not touching him, but not sure what else to he needs... not wanting to walk away from him. Curling up on herself as she waits by his side... loyal like a dog. Gaze on his face. "What do you need?" A hoarse whisper. He was emotionally raw, and Jael was by extension.
Again with the apologies. A huff from his nose. Another swig from the bottle. Thankful that the sutures are all tied up now. "Stop apologizing," Gil means business this time. He wasn't going to keep being nice. Hates apologies. Why apologize? Who ever is truly sorry for their actions? There's no denying what is happening between... No.
Another huff, a grumble this time as he watches her curl up on herself. Why did she have to do this to him? Emotionally raw was a fucking understatement. He lays his chin on the floor beside her and looks back to looking at the crackling fire. "I need... Sanity," his lip quivers, a snarl rumbling in his throat as he tries to push down the anger that bubbles in him. It wouldn't do to take out his pent up emotions on her. On anyone, but god dammit. He can feel himself begin to tense.
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
Sanity. The word slipped past his lips, standing out, bold within her mind. His chin resting on the floor beside her-- Jael knows she shouldn't, but maybe the long dredge from the bottle on an empty stomach had done something to her. She tips her head slightly to rest against his, just her temple close to his muzzle. Just resting there, if he'd allow it. Tender. Though a snarl rippled through him, echoing as a tightness in her stomach, she doesn't move. Flinches, but doesn't withdraw. No. Though a little shake, a whimper, rippled through Jael's system... she doesn't withdraw.
Appeasement looked different, here. Tension in him, and she'd try to absorb it. No, Jael can't quite hide away the little whimper as it slips past, she can feel the tension in him. Feeding off it, to a degree. Mirroring it. "She tried to rip your heart out, Gil." No more than a whisper. Jael wasn't passing judgement, she was stating a fact. No, she doesn't blame Modesty here, either. Only herself. "We might be past sanity." But that doesn't drive her from his side. Instead she remains beside him. Mind racing as she tries to figure out how to diffuse him, her posture ringing for appeasement, greater lengths than she'd gone for... anyone? Why?
She knows why.
"I don't have to worry about that with you, now do I?" His breath washes over her, his muzzle right in her ear right before he trails his teeth down her cheek. Raking through that fluffy fur, he stops right beside her muzzle. He inhales deeply, eyelids fluttering for a moment as he takes in her scent. The fear that envelopes her pheromones is intoxicating. Someone he could control.
"I don't care what she says anymore. You're mine," he speaks in husky tones as he presses his muzzle firmly against her's. Pushing against her, he pulls her in as close as he can. The crackle of fire sounds louder than it had moments before. Every inch of him is alight with electricity as he refuses to relinquish Jael. His eyes beg to le go, to release that fury he held, to let go of pent up emotions on something that wouldn't hurt him back.
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
She shakes her head, the softest nuh-uh in her throat. Why did she want to relax so badly? Melting to his touch, giving into the possession. Bending to his touch, though the fear still coursed through her veins. Afraid, but Jael relies on him. She needs him.
Gilgamesh's voice, the way that it washes over her system, it draws her in. Jael can't get close enough to him, can't get enough of him, despite the fact she's still scared. Scared, but more afraid of letting go than holding on. Whimpering softly. Fear and need layered together, but Jael's chest aches. Permissive. Her head dips, muzzle pushing into Gil's. Lapping at the sides, mixed kisses and appeasement.
"I'm yours... I'm yours..." the words are soft, breathy. Permissive, trying to appease him. Though he still bled, this is more important. Eyes wide as she looks up, vulnerable against his side. Jael needed him.
A seething exhale exits his lips as he rips his gaze away from her and stares at the crackling fire. It's beginning to die. The room is growing cold. His wound is becoming more painful as the adrenaline disappears. He can't seem to catch his breath. Was this a panic attack? Backing up until his rear hit the wall, he crumples. Body slumping until his chin hits the slate tile and he forces his paws over his eyes.
"What have I done?" He can barely choke out the words between heaving sobs. "We can't be doing this," he can't even bring himself to say her name. "She is my everything. I've never wanted anyone else but her. Why do you make me feel like this? As if..." his head shakes, chin rapping against the tile as he fights back the tears. Unable to finish his sentence, Gil closes his eyes as tightly as he can manage, hoping the day would just go back to the beginning so he could try all over again.
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
Distracted by the chill settling over the room, her movements are quick, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible. More wood on the fire, draw the curtains, shut the door. No one needed to see him like this. No one needed to overhear this. She's handling this herself, for better or for worse.
Sobbing, shaking, Jael will not leave him to this on his own. Reaching out... but fully ready to be swatted away. Closing the distance between them, she reaches for him. Though Jael quivered, she needed to be by his side. Trying to tuck close, she is the emotional support animal she can only hope he needs. Why does her chest ache?
"Just... just let me take care of you for now," the words come as a plea. He's still bleeding. Raw, ragged. Emotionally and physically. Reaching out to touch him, tentative... fearful. How can she be afraid of him and need him so badly, all at once? Jael needs to close the wound. She needs to be allowed to calm him, though she doesn't know what that looks like yet. "I'm sorry." A whisper. Her heart hurts.
Suddenly he feels her reach out. An attempt to touch him. He stiffens, every nerve under his skin alight with sensitivity. His lips ripple with a snarl, but he continues to be still. Frozen, unable to move, his legs feel like Jell-O. So when she tries to tuck in close, he doesn't push her away. Allows her to be near him, to try and comfort him, but he isn't sure it'll work.
Her pleading words nearly break his heart again. His own heart aches for both Modesty and Jael. How could he have both? Was that even an option? He doesn't answer, simply turns his chin away so he can stare at the fire. Lowering his paws, inhaling a deep breath, he lets the shudders roll through his body. Jael's body temperature is indeed comforting, but he won't admit it, not even to himself.
"Fine, do as you must," he finally says after a few beats of tense silence. Gil hates himself for acting this way to her, but he hopes she understands. They have to keep each other at a paw's distance if he ever hoped to even consider getting Modesty back.
![](https://i.imgur.com/rYmEHCT.png)
gilgamesh is aggressive, don't trust him
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