style='font: 10px georgia; line-height: 100%; padding:15px;'> ?When this monster entered my brain, I will never know, but it is here to stay. How does one cure himself? I can?t stop it, the monster goes on, and hurts me as well as society. Maybe you can stop him. I can?t." Pathetic, that was what I was. He convinced me that it was true, through and through. He reminded me daily that failure now seeped through my veins, it coursed through my blood. How could I not accomplish something so easy? It was a task that didn't necessarily require brains if I do say so myself, and yet I failed? A low and barely audible sigh escaped the depths of my chest, only to exit from my lips with a simple cloudy puff of air against the chilled surroundings. All I had to do was kill her, snap her little neck, hell even simple eternal damage would suffice, but could I do it? No! What the hell was wrong with me. 'You're weak, love.' His voice now more apparent then ever before. Before I had left I was able to tune him out, not all the time but most of the time. However after spending a year or so alone, just him and I, such a thing became nearly impossible, he some how now overrides my own thoughts. Making it virtually impossible to tune him out. I couldn't even argue with him, I was weak. My cranium remained low due to an increased feeling of shame. A feeling that was so powerful, and unavoidable. Perhaps I couldn't kill her off because of some feeling deep down inside? Maybe that was why I hadn't put my all into it. The last litter I had was simple, I simply crushed there weak fragile skulls with my own canines feeling no remorse from it. However they were nothing to me but a simple product of rape, nothing worthy to keep around. I had killed their undeserving father just as easily. But with Xenios it was different. She was out of love in a way. A perfect combination of both Ulrike, and I. Like a concision brewed to perfection. Of course I still didn't want her anywhere around me, but the feelings I had been battling that were brought on by her birth were more then confusing. There was just something about the young pup, however I still left and that alone was a sign of weakness. It means that deep down inside where there was once no emotions some were brewing. And to possess such emotions were weak in itself. My own thoughts kept traveling back in time trying to unravel it all. Figure it out, but nothing was coming to mind as to why this was happening. Why now? A growl in simple agitation erupted from my lips as I trudged through the much that seemed to suction to my legs like little suction cups. The slurping and squishing sounds following my every move. I had been residing here, in the swamps since my disappearance. The disgusting aroma masking the old scent of Tortuga until it was no longer noticeable. Mud caked my hide, dried onto my back due to the suns violent rays when it did peak around the thick coverings of the land. For all I knew Tortuga was lost, wiped off the face of the earth. Hell I didn't even know if there were any survivors. The old place was nothing but ash and debris when the volcano spewed it's disastorious venom. That one large ear did nothing but offer a twitch, as I listened to the sounds around me. Nothing unusual. Just the same old shit day after day. The flattering of the cranes wings, the occasional sliding sound that was offered by a alligator sliding from the land to the murky waters.. That was it. This place in itself was a death trap, full of its own predators. One had to be on their pee's and que's to avoid the venomous sting offered by the various water snakes, that brought on a slow and very detailed death. And the last thing one wanted was to step where a alligator lingered just waiting to clamp its powerful jowls around a limb. I was beginning to memorize this place like the back of my own paw. Knowing where it was safe, and where to avoid. It was a matter of life or death out here.

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This place was nothing but a swampy waste land,with dead trees here, and there sticking out of the muck. One paw after another sunk into the filth of this land, and nothing was normal in this land. Ulrike scanned the area, his black pools soon landed on foot steps. They were fresh, someone was recently here, but who was the real question. He raised his muzzle to the sky, and inhaled deeply. The scent of another filled his nostrils, the smell was familiar, faint, but familiar. His ears pricked foreword, head cocked, as he took another smell. Could it be who he thinks it is, the scent was faint but it was there. Was it her, could it be her? Ulrike stood there smelling the scent, it was a positive match that that was her, his beloved Fetisha.


He walked foreword towards the direction of the scent, Was this it, was he going to see her again after a year. He wondered how she would look, will she be her same self that he fell in love with.His tail swayed as he got closer to her, the smell getting stronger. Soon this image came across his eyes, he stopped, He could not believe his eyes, it was her. Was this another time his mind playing tricks on him? No, this was real, she is right there, his Fetisha. He walked closer to her, his ears perked up tail swaying with joy, oh how long has he waited for this day. She was here, and he now knew she was alright.


Ulrike was now right up to her, he stood there still stunned as to what his eyes showed him. "Fetisha.. Is that you?" He said as he looked at her. This was something he did not prepare for, she was here. His heart was beating fast, faster than it has ever been. He was shocked, oh how so many emotions filled his mind. Where was she for a year, why did she leave? That question he knew the answer, but Xenios was a year now and about the size of Ulrike by now. "Where have you been Fetisha? I looked for you foe months." He said as he walked closer to her. "Why did you vanish like that my love?"

Ulrike

style='font: 10px georgia; line-height: 100%; padding:15px;'> I knew that eventually, yes I would run across Ulrike.. It was something unavoidable. But what would I say was the question. I had pondered for a year, give or take, and couldn't muster up the perfect excuse for my absence. I had vanished, no trace or word being left behind. As if I were some magician. I had watched from the distance as our old home had burnt to a crisp. Part of me still wanted the two to still live, yet another part of me wanted to be free'd the from old ball and chain. I never was mother, nor mate material. A slut at heart was what I truly was, never wanting to deal with devotion. And last year everything that occurred really went past my nature. Something that no one could see me doing. Becoming a mate and a mother, was that really something for me? I paid close attention to my surroundings, making sure that there wasn't a dirty reptile masked beneath the waters waiting to a little before dinner snack. Every sound vibrating my ear drum that the marsh had to offer. Overly cautious at this point. The wind however was not on my side and so I hadn't realized that Ulrike was on my trail. Squish, squish.. I could hear the sinking of paws coming up behind me, and so instantly I turned my dial before Ulrike even said a word. Two tones orbs locked upon his frame as he drew closer and closer. And yet I remained speechless. Not even a hello. And even though I knew this day would come I was still in complete shock. Completely bewildered to see that he was here. He was really here. 'Don't be foolish, love. We've talked about this, don't make the same mistake twice.' His words caused my muscles to tighten beneath my flesh... He was right, in a way. But even though he spent a good year trying to detour my emotions about Ulrike, seeing him before me made me question the devil inside. 'You know I'm right love.' His words slithered through my brain like a venomous serpent. Making me nervous to the core. As Ulrike spoke, I remained speechless. Unsure of how to explain myself. Not sure of what words to use. 'Tell the truth dear. Tell him you longed to be away from him and that wretched pup that you birthed. Tell him that you were upset with yourself for not being able to slit her throat. Tell him you shunned yourself away because of your weaknesses.' No! I had began to retaliate with myself. 'TELL HIM!' The anger radiated from his voice, causing my head to pound feircly. All I could do was take a step back and Violently shake my cranium side to side to rid it of the pain that he forced upon me. I wasn't going to say those things. I didn't know what to say. I was confused once again, and so I side stepped the questions all together. Dial now lowered to the ground as I watched Ulrike closely. Still he stood there with all the love in his eyes, despite the fact that I had vanished. Leaving him to care for the pup alone. Shouldn't he be angry with me? Despise my very face at this point. To seek revenge? But he held none of those expressions. In fact it was the complete opposite. He almost shone signs of worry on his facade. After all this time, could he really still hold the same love for me as he had before? After all the cruel and horrible things I had done? I still didn't know what to say, I was confused, I was lost, and damn near frightened. The only thing I could muster up was one simple question. "How is Xenios? Did she make it safe?

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It was great to see my love once more, but by the looks of things she still was struggleing with that deamon that rested in her mind. Ulrike stood there and looked at Fetisha. He was happy to see her, and that she was alright. Nothing much was said from her part. Eventhough she was not holding a conversation with him, she was defently haveing a conversation though. Her body language stated that it was not a pleasant one either. He could not even begin to imagine what was going on inside her head. Ulrike walked closer to Fetisha and nuzzled her. He did miss her, but for some reason he knew that she will not be joing Tortuga.


Ulrike's ears perked up as she mentioned Xenios,So Fetisha was thinking of there daughter. That was a great sign, it still indicated that she is thinking of Xenios. Ulrike smiled at her and begun to speak."She is doing great, almost hit her full height. I had just started her training a few days ago. She dose miss you though, and would like to see you. He said. Ulrike could not help but think of Xenios also. She was growing up to become a strong wolf, and there was no doubt in it that she would grow up to acomplish many things.


"Fetisha, i know she would like to see you again. If you don't want to you don't have to, but it would mean alot to her." He said as he stood there ankle deep in swamp. This area did suit her quite, it screamed fetisha, and he could see her surviving in this swamp. An area that no others dare to enter and stay. Ulrike even wondered as to why he entered this land in the first place, but he some how knew that fetisha or something would appere to him in his journy through out the swamps.

Ulrike