This was not a world she wanted to live in, but it was better than what she had before. Really, she could have had everything. But she was selfish, and in some ways she was sick. It was maybe not unreasonable what she truly wanted with Alastor. But it was unrealistic given the circumstances. If she wasn't the way she was she could have been his second, at heart she just couldn't let that desire go. This is what she would have always wanted more.

Four young children, all riddled with pink and red or solely each from their mother and father. Two boys and two girls but this dream afterlife wouldn't have them aged at their death or older than each other. Just that they existed. Relm didn't think of herself as much of a mother, but in whatever eternity this was it was the closest she was to Alastor. She looked the part. She could love the real illusions as much as she loved him. A gentle brush over their heads and a smile on her face as they came and rubbed up against her legs and chest, and back to their young pup playing. She could forget what she was missing on earth.

"Relm"

Alastor had been so afraid of sleep lately. Ever since his granddaughter had alerted him to the supernatural presence of his father lingering around them, Al was terrified of falling asleep only to come face to face with his greatest demon. That fortunately hadn't happened yet, but there was always the lingering threat right on the edge of sleep, in that last waking moment before your eyes shut. Every night Alastor went to bed fearing he wouldn't wake up the next morning, and every time he would wake up the next day totally fine, rested without any dreams to speak of. This time would be different.

While Alastor drifted off into slumber in his warm, cozy bed, the darkness of sleep claimed his mind. Alastor felt weightless, drifting in an empty black void. And then suddenly he was opening his eyes to bright sunlight streaming through a canopy of trees, the warmth of the light warming his dark fur. A gentle breeze whistled through the forest, rustling the leaves overhead. It was so peaceful, so tranquil here... The sound of a childish giggle caught the dire brute's attention, turning him on his heels to spy the source. A pup. A small girl staring up at him with a big grin and a wagging tail. Alastor's mouth hung open while he stared wide-eyed at the pup.

She was a kaleidoscope of blood red and hot pink fur, with one silver eye and one eye obsidian black.

Alastor stared at the little mashup of himself and Relm, sorrow and pain gripping at his heart. He took a slow step closer to her, and then the girl was off running through the woods, giggling and laughing all the while. As if on instinct, Alastor raced after the child, following her through the maze of trees until he came to a clearing, where the sight almost stopped his heart. Basking in the sunlight was Relm with four pups, each one looking like a conglomeration of their traits. Alastor froze, hovering at the tree line, his face partially in the sunlight while the rest of his body remained in the shade of the forest. His expression was a contortion of shock, grief, pain, yearning, and love. Relm. She was here, right in front of him. Part of him wanted to go right over to her, to see her whole and alive once more. But his paws refused to move, frozen like a statue in the shade like the shadow he was in this world—like he didn't deserve to see her again. He didn't say anything. He didn't move or take any sort of action. He just... stood there and watched. Watched the life he would never be a part of like a ghost outside the window.

"Alastor"

She could sense his presence there without turning to see him, maybe a power of this world. A 'power' of her, dead. She kept her eyes down at the young children that ran and hopped around, fighting with each other which may not have been an odd occurrence for any normal brothers and sister but for her, it felt so perfect for theirs. Relm imaged their kids not to be overpowering, but definitely strong right between the two of them. There were so many things she could have thought, could have dreamed. But these kids were just a figment of their imaginations. When they were born it was clear they were her and Alastors, but there wasn't enough to say what they could have looked like today, young or old.

It was a few moments as he watched them and took the moment in, a forever he would never have with his life, and probably afterlife with Manea. She could make it enough for now. This could be enough for her.

She still didn't turn to face him but her voice rang out like an echo in his ear, "You're here now, it's everything I wanted for us." It was still a few more seconds before her head turned to really see him in the shadows of the trees. She had some sort of ethereal beauty about her, like maybe she wasn't even real. Working eyes, scarless that marked her for him, or maybe it was just that gentle grin across her maw he may not have seen in ages. She was inviting without asking him. Whenever he wanted he could make the ghost children fade into the forests. There may have been so much he wanted to say to her, to hate her for even. And while they weren't real, it wasn't something they should be around for. Just him and Relm. She could fade away too, but she was here for him regardless of every emotion he felt about her. She was never afraid of him in life, she wouldn't run from him now. She knew in her heart he could never be the same but he had Manea to pull him through, he had his living children back in Elysium. He would be alright.

"Relm"

It didn't feel right. It didn't feel real. Standing and watching the happy family Relm had around her felt like he was watching a fantasy play out before him. It was a beautiful impossibility that he would never see, never feel, never truly know. Just within this liminal dream state, in this mystical afterlife where they could exist forever, beautiful and unmarred, never to be sick or broken. It was a place Alastor's tainted soul would never be welcomed. That's why he stood in the shadows of the forest, deathly afraid of taking any step closer, lest he break the illusion and never find it again. Their four children pranced and danced around the clearing, around her, blissful and carefree for all time, as they always should have been. Alastor had never experienced a pain quite like the one he felt stabbing his heart in that moment.

Relm's ethereal voice echoed in his mind, inviting him to join them and expressing her happiness. It startled him, the giant brute stumbling back a step, but the moment the pink fae turned to smile at him, he was entranced. Like a siren's song, he was captivated. Relm looked as he had never seen her before, and as she always should have been—unblind and unscarred. Flawless. Whole. Happy. She grinned at him; Alastor almost broke down when he saw her smile. Tears welled up in his eyes, blurring his vision while he gave himself over to impulse and took that first tentative step out of the shadows, afraid as if the magical sunlight would burn him alive. Step by step, Alastor slowly emerged from the forest, the sunlight warming his fur, the soft grass bending beneath giant paws. The four pups stopped playing and watched him with bright curiosity. Alastor looked at each of them in turn, each smiling face twisting that knife in his heart.

When he finally drew near Relm, the pups all gathered around them, giggling and nuzzling at the dire brute's legs and paws. Their touches felt so real—like this wasn't some imagined heaven and that he was actually with them. Tears spilled down Alastor's muzzle while he watched them—their children—return to playing around the clearing. His bleary gaze lifted back to Relm, meeting the eyes of the woman he had loved and lost. The woman he had killed. What did he even say to her? What words could possibly express any of the pain and anguish, the love and the loss, the yearning and the regret? His mouth opened, then closed again. He lifted a paw, but hesitated from touching her, lest she disappear before his eyes. Eventually, he said the only words that could come from his broken heart. "I'm so sorry..."

"Alastor"

Relm watched and remained smiling down at the young ones as they ran around Alastor's paws, bending to the imaged will that was the nature of young pups. His pups if they were ever real. She could feel the rush of emotion that poured from him without looking at him, but once she saw it really happening it changed her. There was nothing she could do to change what she had done. She just knew she no longer had to be a plague to Alastor's life. She still blamed herself for letting everything get as far as it did.

As she saw the tears falling from his face and the young children pranced back around in the clearing, she moved more to face him before raising her paws to reach around him and push her head into his chest. Something that barely felt real but she could feel his presence and be lost in the scent of him again. Together again at last. She didn't want anything else from him, just to see the life she would have wanted for them. The redwoods, the pink and red marked children, she always wanted to see him as the father he was for her own. Their own.

She didn't need his sorry, and she just wished that he didn't blame himself so much for what she had done. Typical of her. "You don't have to worry about me anymore." She assured him, though it was probably the least bit of condolence. "It was never meant to be this way for us. Maybe in another life." She was just a speck in his life, she saw herself as. But she felt more of a burden to him than anything else especially as time went on. She pulled her face back to look light eyes into dark, almost knowing nothing she said could ease what she had done to him. But she hoped he could be able to move on quicker with what he had back on earth. "You have your family back home, they need you Alastor."

"Relm"