((Liquid timing to like a week after the meeting. Also content warning: Des considers briefly terminating her pregnancy, but does not follow through.))

Fuck. Shit. Fuuuuuuck. She should have been more careful. Shouldn't have let her hormones dictate so much of her behaviour. Also she was going to kill that bastard if she ever saw him again. Desponia wrinkled her nose up at the pool of sick she'd only barely managed to avoid getting inside her den. It being right outside didn't exactly feel like a victory though. She would have to clean it. But it was hard to focus. She'd been feeling less than stellar since she'd gotten back to the island. Frankly she'd chalked it up to the usual feelings she had for her family and being tired from the trek. That had been a week ago and since then things had only gotten worse. The pain had started in her abdomen. Just a sort of general soreness. Not necessarily unusual, maybe she'd eaten something bad. Then she'd noticed that certain yearly symptoms had failed to subside when they should have... That was when the worry had started. She had been in heat when she'd had that run in in the fog with the fucking winged asshole... And now? Well today was the second day in a row she'd woken up to have to rush outside and be sick. Desponia had a pretty good understanding of what was happening and she hated it. She'd have been content never having to deal with this her whole life. In fact it was how she'd have preferred things. The upside to her bastard status was she had no dumb responsibility to "carry on" a family legacy. They'd all have been happier seeing her mother's "indiscretion" die out with her. Des included! Grumbling to herself the woman turned back into her den and grabbed an old worn fur she'd been meaning to toss out anyways. Might as well get some last use out of it. The woman began to carefully clean up the mess outside her den, making sure to avoid getting too good of a whiff lest it make her sick again. While doing so she took some time to consider her options. Desponia was not all that versed in medicines but she would have been a fool to not know there were herbs she could take that would force her body to get rid of a pregnancy. She knew it wouldn't be pleasant but it was her first instinct. And yet... Some part of Desponia mind, the one that was always looking for little ways to spite her family, was awakening. The man, whom she hardly knew, had clearly not been of pure wolf descent. While Des frankly didn't care, in fact it had been what led to his hotness, she could see it maybe rubbing some of her family the wrong way. Not only had her mother gone and sullied their blood line but now the bastard was making things even worse? The thought did cause a small smirk to twitch up the corner of her lips. Not to mention she was pretty sure a marriage was out of the question here. Nor could she stop him from having kids elsewhere. Even if that thought irked her, which in turn frustrated her that she was feeling jealous over him of all people! The work done the woman disposed of the now thoroughly ruined fur some steps away from her den. She'd burn it or toss it into the sea or something later. For now she had a more pressing task. Desponia made her way carefully towards the more commonly used areas of the island, searching for one of two scents. It was her niece's scent she picked up first. Just as well, the disdain she felt for her brother was stronger than for any of her sibling's children. Sure she didn't like them but to an extent she didn't consider them particularly guilty for the mistreatment of her mother and by extension... Her. So Desponia started to track the Matriarch, she knew she could have called for her. But if there was one thing Desponia would never do it was give any of her family the satisfaction of knowing she needed one of them. "Speech"

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Avacyn stepped back into their den after her usual morning patrol and began to unbuckle the straps that held her armor in place. Already her uncle was hitting the ground running and she had seen him off after a brief meeting before he left for The Hallows the day before. By now she had found out about Valta's change of hands so it was more important now than ever that they secure the alliance they had with the Auster pack. Just as the thought crossed her mind while she was laying out her armor on her workshop table she realized that was no longer her responsibility. The thought caught her off guard a bit and she paused with a quiet hum. She still cared about the well being of the pack as a whole and their standing with the other packs, but she would be lying if she said that she wasn't relieved that it was now mainly Deimos' concern. The shift in leadership had been hard and even Saracyn wasn't entirely pleased with her choice, but she knew it had to be done. After the alphas meeting she had accepted that she did not have the temperament that an alpha needed to have in this current climate.

She sighed and shook her head to clear it as she walked back toward the entrance of the den. She needed to tighten up a couple of fittings on her armor, but that could wait for a bit until she had a chance to get some breakfast. On her way out toward the central part of the island she looked up and was surprised to see Desponia heading in her direction. She very rarely, if ever, saw the woman and had mostly resigned herself to never expecting to see her around. It had honestly been a surprise to see her at the pack meeting, though she had been glad to see her all the same. "Desponia?" she asked, wondering if she was actually looking for her or just happened to be passing by in a similar direction. "Is everything alright?"

"Avacyn Mendacium"

See this was why Desponia stayed away from the common areas of the island. Why she'd chosen a den tucked away and not easily spotted. It felt like the moment she'd decided to find her niece the girl had popped into existence in front of her. Not even a single second to start figuring out what she was going to say. (In reality she hadn't found the Matriarch that fast but still sooner than she'd have liked, her preference would have been never.) The woman stopped before her niece, though maybe a little further away than one might expect of pack mates. It almost irked her more to see Avacyn look at her so openly. It reminded her of the last real interaction with her sister Desponia had had. She could not understand any of them, her siblings especially, wanting to have some sort of relationship with her. They hadn't been pups when her mother had been chased off, they'd killed any chance of ever fostering something that day. A relationship was not possible. Not in her eyes. Her nieces and nephews weren't culpable for their parents sins, she at least believed that, she had to if she wanted to believe it about herself, but the same damnable laws were observed under them and the same damnable blood flowed through them. So yeah it was some what frustrating looking at the family that had made her life a hell and seeing anything that made it harder to hate them. Still Desponia would push down the urge to grimace at her niece. She let out a deep sigh and then, as evenly and stone faced as possible said plainly: "I am pregnant." She watched, carefully. "Figured the Matriarch ought to know." Desponia didn't even let her usual disdain slip through when speaking the younger woman's title aloud. It felt so pretentious to her. But then any title would have. She wasn't exactly pro authority, especially not these ones. The woman said nothing else, just watching, waiting. "Speech"

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It was surprising enough that Desponia was here and approaching her somewhat willingly so anything she would have had to say would probably be just as surprising unless it was a request to leave. Still, the confession that Desponia was pregnant brought a shock that was impossible to hide. Her dark eyes widened with genuine surprise and it took all of her self control to not let her mouth fall open. She knew that Desponia spent a majority of not almost all of her time away from Elysium and even when she was here she was reclusive at best so there was no way for her to know what kind of company she kept or if she had a mate of some kind hidden away from the pack, but this was still such a sudden change that it was hard to wrap her mind around the reality of it.

Putting all of the questions she had about how this had come to be, there was the bigger issue that she had to remember as one of Elysium's leaders. Desponia had broken one of the few laws that they held their members to. She opened her mouth to say as much, feeling frustration rise up in her chest, but she stopped herself with a flick of her ears. She had a feeling that if she reacted with any kind of anger it would only further drive the wedge between Desponia and the rest of the family, but that only brought up a larger, more over arching question that she had always wondered about her aunt. "Why do you stay?" she blurted out with a mix of confusion and exasperation. "You never seem happy here. I don't expect you to follow any of the Mendaicum laws, but now you're even going against even the pack's laws. So why do you stay?"

"Avacyn Mendacium"

Desponia turned her gaze away from her niece, feeling the fight slowly bleeding from her body. She didn't like it. The younger woman's question stuck like a thorn in her skin, and she knew she'd have to rip it out. But not yet. Let her stew for a moment longer. "They weren't planned if that's what you're getting at. I had a lapse in judgment. I've never had any intention of having kids." She wasn't going soft, wasn't feeling particularly maternal. But now that she'd decided she wanted to keep them she was going to dig in. It was her choice and she'd fight to keep it. Desponia sighed, sliding her gaze upwards, watching the sky as if she could find anything there. She sat with the question a little longer. Finally she shrugged, trying to give off more nonchalance than she actually felt. "I got tired of running. Spent long enough stuck here that when I had my freedom given back I finally knew what I had been missing: A place to come back to." Desponia smirked, a single sardonic chuckle escaping her. "I'm not convinced your mom didn't know exactly what she'd done." Desponia fell silent again, she wasn't happy with the feelings rushing through her. She didn't like that it felt like everything she'd always repressed was suddenly fighting to come rushing out of her. Emotions she wasn't even ready to deal with, if ever. "Speech"

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Part of her half expected Desponia to storm off and not answer her or give her some sort of combative answer if she gave one at all. Instead she insisted that the pups had not been planned, that they had come from a lapse of judgement. That she had never even had any intention of having kids. Avacyn did fully believe that these pups had been unplanned, but the idea of never wanting children was hard for her to wrap her mind around. Of course, she had grown up with the Mendaicum teachings being fed to her from a very early age and so much of it stressed the importance and the privilege of carrying on their bloodline so that probably had a lot to do with her own view of the subject.

Regardless, she stood there quietly and waited as Desponia looked toward the sky and seemed to contemplate the question posed to her–why was she still here? Finally she replied, stating how she had wanted something to come back to and found it here once she was given her freedom. There was plenty of places that could be that for her. There were a dozen packs across Boreas and Auster that were sure to want a capable body in their ranks that she could call home. Instead, she stayed here despite the obvious resentment and distaste she had. There had to be something more than just having a place to return home to at the end of the day.

Regardless of her own exasperation and confusion around the whole situation, she could tell that this was some kind of turning point for her aunt. There was plenty of ways to terminate a pregnancy if she so wished to and given the fact that she had never intended to Avacyn was a little surprised that she wasn't going that route. Something was changing even if Avacyn wasn't sure what and she wanted this to be a chance to build some kind of bridge if Desponia would allow her to. "Then be here," she said quietly as she took a couple steps closer to her aunt. "There has to be some kind of reason that you stayed here and made this the place that you kept coming back to instead of finding a home somewhere else. If this is where you want to stay then actually be here. Let us be your family." She paused, searching Desponia's face for a moment. "I can't speak for what happened years and years ago or how my mother handled it all, but I know that we could move forward and make this a real home for you and these pups if you want it to be."

"Avacyn Mendacium"

Desponia knew she was a contradiction. She resented her family, held a grudge against her half siblings and had spent so much of her life prior to being captured running from them... And yet she was choosing to stay here. Didn't hide her contempt for them but stayed nontheless... She wasn't exactly making a lot of sense. Desponia supposed there were convenient answers: She wasn't exactly a friendly wolf so endearing herself to new packs seemed unlikely so staying in the one that had captured her was just as easy. Maybe she could have made the claim about not being familiar with the lands outside the pack but that was less and less true with each trip. Desponia did not like the real answer, the truth. The blue whelp, not so little anymore, who'd tried to show her empathy when she'd first gotten here... Her niece who she'd once goaded into fighting her and yet who looked at her so earnestly now... Even her thrice damned sister who'd tried at least once to try and bridge that gap. Desponia knew she was not the better nor bigger wolf, she was a petty bitch who clung to her resentments because it was all she had left at this point. But some of the wolves here? They had tried, for her... Avacyn's approach made Desponia balk, her eyes flashing with anxiety for a moment. The idea of letting it all go, of trying to mend a bridge she'd been burning for years now felt... Scary. Who even was she if she let go? She was an emotional stunted coward was what. Desponia knew that was who she was deep down but she refused to let anyone else see it. She should have snapped back, should have lashed out but something about her niece, something about the whole damn situation made her stay put, made her break eye contact. She looked away, trying to find the pearl of anger she kept deep within her and clutch onto it for dear life. But even that didn't seem to reignite her. "I make no promises." Desponia finally said, voice holding only resignation. It wasn't a no, but then it wasn't exactly a yes either. It was a maybe, a stubborn maybe. It was the best she could offer right now. It should have been a parting phrase, but she stayed where she was, silent and waiting. "Speech"

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Avacyn had half expected her aunt to lash out as she had before, but to her pleasant surprise Desponia simply looked away, stating that she could make no promises. From anyone else it might have felt dismissive or possibly even passive aggressive, and on the surface it certainly felt that way, but this was a drastic change from the Desponia she had encountered before. It made her feel like–in their own way–they were finally making progress and that there might actually be some kind of hope that they might finally be able to find some common ground. Avacyn relaxed a bit and a little smile tugged at her lips. "Well... Promises or not, I'm happy for you," she replied genuinely. No matter how estranged from their family Desponia was, she and her soon to be children were still family and any addition to their family was a blessing.

She began to turn to walk away, but she paused, hesitating before she turned back to Desponia again to add, "You know... It's not too late. A commandment of our family laws is that the transgressions of the parent do not transfer onto the child. I understand if you never want to be a Mendacium by name and if you would rather carve your own path with your children... I can't blame you in the slightest for wanting to do so... Our family has not always and still does not have the best judgement at times... But if you did ever decide that you wanted to take on our name I would be proud to give it to you." She didn't expect any kind of response from Desponia and almost hoped that there wasn't. She simply wanted the knowledge to be with her so that if she ever felt the desire to do so she would know the offer was there. She gave Desponia another smile then before she turned and started down the path toward the center of the island.

"Avacyn Mendacium"