Rated X for heavy mention of pregnancy loss and depression

It had been more than a few days since Indigo and Aslatiel had saved her life and brought her back to Obscura to heal. Healing was far from the answer though. She had already come to terms with the inevitable, and soon she was passing the small beans that were her children. Healers from the pack helped by giving her some meds for the pain, but this wasn't like the last time. She could handle this own her own, by her own choice.

After everything had been done, she wrapped what remained in a cloth, not much to tell they were pups at all. Maybe that helped the emotional side of things. Not like when Indigo birthed their stillborns. She was still really sore from the beating she took, and the induced miscarriage but once she found the energy to leave the den she did, bringing the napkin of pups with her.

She made her way to the falls, knowing just where she was taking them. A memory she would never forget. Something that haunted her heart and soul to this day. Beside an unmarked grave that only her and indigo would have known near the base of falls she dug a second shallow grave to place the wrap in, and pulled the loose dirt back over them. She laid there for a long while, some of the physical and emotional exhaustion, but mostly because she couldn't find a way to make herself get up and carry on. She laid there like a shell, feeling nothing at all before the two litters of babies she couldn't keep safe. Her fault, no matter the reality. This was her reality. Indigo should have left her there at the shrine. She didn't deserve to be here near him, she didn't deserve these children. Her years spent beating herself until it actually happened, and she was still being pulled through. By someone else. She couldn't do it herself. She couldn't carry on herself. She didn't know how she would ever get up from this place again.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.

Indigo was in constant turmoil he felt like, physically he was perfectly fine, in his prime, but mentally he was exhausted. Emotionally he felt like a dried fruit. He had little left to give anymore as he watched his beloved sister die. The maned man never thought that he would see Duchess again, let alone kill for her a second time, yet here they were. He wasn’t certain the place he was in, but it was against his nature to not help the woman he had once loved. Indy did the best he could to help Duch physically heal, but watching her lose another litter of pups brought back terrible memories that he just wanted to forget.

He brought her some herbs that morning to help with the pain, but found her missing from the den. The scent left behind told him everything he needed to know, and with reluctance he followed her. He knew where she was going, and every step he took was forced as he made his way to that place. A serious silence came over him as he approached Duchess as she lay, looking like she had finally given up.

Indy sighed softly as he hesitantly came to sit beside her there. He knew she mourned more than just the pups that lay beneath the freshly turned earth. For he last couple of years he had done well to forget about the tiny graves that they had put here, but with Aslatiel’s loss, everything swiftly came back and he ached as though the wound were still fresh. He said nothing, just sat there with her for as long as she needed. Trying to ignore the tears that welle dup in his blue eyes.

Indigo Arcturus Fatalis

Warning: Indigo should be considered a Mature Character.

A part of her could feel Indigo's presence as he joined beside her, but she was in a whole other realm in her mind. Ever since she had deceived him and lost it all, lost everything that was a part of her life, she was stuck in a dark place. She did everything to fill the void. She wanted the attention, she wanted to feel seen and desired. At that point she didn't care with who or the nature of the relationship. It was how she came to be with Noir and why she had stayed around with him for so long. She could tell there was a part of him hurting, a part of him missing. And she hoped that she could have helped him regardless of how the relationship between them progressed or was kept. And she would have never imagined it would have come to this. She was older now, and she couldn't blame Indigo for what he did. What he did for her. She had to wonder if he would have if Aslatiel wasn't there, but she wasn't in a state of mind to sort through it now. For now she just had to go one day at a time. But she didn't know where she would be tomorrow, or a week from now. If she wasn't with Indigo and Aslatiel, she would easily be gone by now. Noir or not.

It had been sometime before she could snap back to where she was tethered to their earth, her head raising slowly to turn to Indigo beside her. Her whole chest clenched as she looked at his own appearance. She couldn't have expected it but she did. She was quicker to pick herself up off the ground as she reached out to hug around his neck, burying her face into the side of his mane as tears fell from her eyes. "I'm so sorry Indigo." She couldn't say it enough. She was sorry for what happened between them all those years ago, for losing his children, for destroying everything between them. And she was sorry for Aslatiel. As much as she felt like he could hate her and she could accept that, she could also act like no time had passed between them at all. She was still here for him. And she wasn't the woman she was all that time ago. She was done with the chasing, with the searching. She was done with everything. But she would do her best to help him until he didn't need her anymore. She was holding on for him while she had him.

"Duchess"

Duchess is an !M rated! character for themes of Depression. Please Discord me if you have concerns.