Speech // thought

"Come on my little love," Ignita beckons her large son. Easily the largest, nearly nine months old, he was already taller than her.
"Let's go on our very own adventure while Selene rests. Ollie and Teegra can keep an eye on her for us." She was loathe to leave Selene herself but Ollie had suggested a little break for the caregivers was essential.

She would lead Citadel to the edge of the black sands of the cove. the closest point to Atlantis Island.

"I have always wondered what was over there, and I have a feeling we'll find some interesting things." She mused. It was hard to be distracted and pulled away from her daughter. So perhaps this little quest and adventure with her boy would do them both some good. And she was always grateful to spend one on one time with each child.

She nodded her head toward the island's direction then waded into the shallows and began to swim. It wasn't too long before she was dragging her soggy body up onto the shoreline. Tall rocky cliffs rimmed the island, surely there was a path through them.

Citadel perked up when his mother called his attention. Trotting over to her, and astounded all over again that he was taller than her. Not even a year old… it felt wrong somehow. Like his mother should be larger than life, and certainly larger than him. His parents were gods in their own rights in his world. One incredibly wise, and the other incredibly strong. He was reluctant to leave Selene. He’d barely left her side since she had fallen, and had slept in the infirmary with Oleander's permission. Sneaking into her bed when everyone else was asleep. Selene was out to the world, right? She’d never know his weakness, his worry.

His mother didn’t tell him where they were going until they reached the black sand, and she nodded her head towards the island. Citadel swallowed hard, his face pailing a little. He remembered his forbidden night time swim with Iskandor not that long ago. His tired paws, losing his way. The blackness of the ocean… sucking in water instead of air…

He took a few steps closer to the water with more than a little trepidation. He glanced over at his mother. He was not a wolf who could share his weaknesses easily. He took a few steps into the ocean. He glanced at his mother again. They were really going to do it? She wanted him to swim all the way to the island? His gangly body was very leg-heavy. His giant paws had grown first, and the rest of him was still catching up. He was…. The least hydrodynamic of the litter.


"Speech"

Speech // thought

She had only been assessing the next route as she swam. Ignita had not quite reached the halfway point to the island when she noticed her son had not joined her in the water. She took a u-turn mid-swim and came eagerly back to him. Panting as she pulled herself back up onto the beach.

He was hesitating, did she misjudge the trip and he didn't want to go? Was he worried about Selene too much?

"Is everything ok Lovey? Citadel?" She asked after shaking the water from her fur. "I didn't mean to leave you behind." She cooed to him, approaching him with concern. My he was so tall. She had thought for sure he would have outswam her! She asked, "What's going on, my Love? You can tell me. Is something bothering you?" She reached out a paw to cup his cheek with concern.

It seemed that was exactly what they were going to do. Despite his constant side-eye glances at his mother and the silent message in his eyes as they stepped from the sand into the shallow water, she didn’t so much as look back at him once. As he watched, she reached the end of the shallow water. Still, she didn’t look back at him, and his glances were getting slightly more desperate. Mum! But she continued on, and began to swim out to the ocean. Oblivious to her son's distress. He came to a stop before the water was too high for him to touch the bottom. He felt it lap against his shoulders and shuddered as he looked at the clear reflection. It looked different in the day, but he would never forget the oppressive darkness waiting just beneath the surface.

He looked up again, watching with a sinking feeling as his mother continued further and further out, heading halfway to the island before she finally looked back. By then, it was too late. His fear had turned to annoyance. Normally, his mother was better at reading him than that, or so he had thought. He turned and headed out of the water as she began her u-turn and paddled back to him. He stood on the sandy shore, waiting a while in the cool wind for his mother to complete the swim back. “I’d rather stay with Selene.” He said, grumpy and frustrated with the situation. If she wasn’t picking up what he was putting down, he wasn’t going to spell it out for her. He pulled back from her touch as she reached a paw out towards him.


"Speech"

Speech // thought

She had been so one-track-minded that she hadn't clued into his distress. Usually, she was a lot more in tune with her young... When he pulled back from her attention it felt like she had been slapped across the face. She blinked and put her paw back down with a swallow. She had really hurt him and he was annoyed at her.

"I want to stay with her too. But... we... we can't do anything for her just yet." She looked at the sand, trying to keep the tears from falling down her face. She had been so busy trying to distract them both from thinking about how they might lose Selene that she had lost touch with Citadel.

"Could we try again?" She sighed and looked up at her beloved son. "Can you tell me why you won't swim here? I was sure you'd probably outswim me." She asked softly, holding her paws still and giving him some space, no encroaching or trying to hover or immediately fix what went wrong.
"I just want to understand, I'm sorry I missed it."

Citadel shuffled a paw, his grumpiness hadn’t abated. He struggled with his emotions sometimes. He let them build up inside of him, and didn’t know where to put them. He preferred to pretend they didn’t exist at all, sometimes. But that annoyance was pressing up against him now, and it made it hard to deal with his mother just then. Perhaps it wasn’t just the last disastrous swim, or his reluctance to share this weakness with her. Perhaps the worry for Selene had been building up inside of him, as well.

“It’s a long swim, can’t we explore something else mum?” He asked instead, skirting over her question and his emotions entirely.


"Speech"

Speech // thought

She was finally focusing on him and watching him fidget and fight with himself with an annoyed look on his face. She worried she had messed up worse than she initially thought for a moment. How badly did she fumble the ball here?

She then nodded to his question. "You know what? I think that's a great idea. How about you take the lead and we'll go wherever you want to. We can tackle this hurdle some other time. I know for a fact that if anything happened to Selene, Ollie's raven would come to get us." She agreed as brightly as she could muster.

His mother let him skirt the issue, and he felt some of the tension leave his limbs. His posture softened a little, and he nodded his head. He didn’t have to tell her about sneaking out, and the disastrous swim. At least not yet. But where did he want to go? It was an open invitation for him to go anywhere with permission and with his mum. How did he want to take advantage of that?

He turned his back on the Island. He didn’t plan to let his fear get the better of him, but perhaps it was best to tackle that where couldn’t see him. Instead, he let his eyes catch on the tall mountain peaks of the Armada. Hints of snow could be seen in the lands beyond it. “How about we go North, instead, mumma?”


"Speech"