ardent

Tired of Being Lonely



Qanik

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11-08-2013, 11:45 AM
Qanik limped through the redwood trees, tired, footsore, and heartsick. It had been months now that she'd been on her own. Months of subsisting off rabbits and squirrels and whatever else she could catch on her own, months of being chased off territory by unwelcoming packs, months that had just strengthened her belief that she was nothing without a pack to belong to. Just the thought of her old pack sent a pulse of pain and guilt through her. Her fault that her father, the alpha, had died when she'd frozen up in battle and he'd had to save her. Her fault that the pack had slowly disintegrated without his leadership, when she should have worked harder to keep them together.

A failure. It was no wonder she hadn't been welcome anywhere.

The white female slumped down in the shelter of one of the trees and, sighing, began licking her aching paws. She just couldn't muster the energy to keep going, and what did it matter anyway? She could be lonely here just as well here as anywhere else.



Aislin


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11-08-2013, 02:53 PM

Aislin had been mostly everywhere it seemed, but over the last couple of days, she had been in the Red Forest much longer than any other land. Aislin for some reason liked the scenery in this forest and it was sad that no pack resided here. It would have been a perfect place for anyone considering the number of possible shelters here. The way that Autumn had settled here made this place peaceful and mysterious, and the silence mixed with the occasional whispers from the trees was all that was needed to make this the perfect place. The smells in the forest confirmed that other animals besides her kind had agreed. The leaves crunched beneath her blackened claws and paws and the smell from the freshly crunched leaves lifted into her nose, and warmed her lungs. It caused her heart to flutter and a smile to spread on her lips, which usually never happened. Aislin was a monotone, mellow sort of wolf with few emotions, and only care for herself. More or less, she was kind of ho hum of everything, and wasn't seriously affected by any traumatic or dramatic events that took place, unless it involved her, however, there were a couple times already where she saved two wolves; an adult and a pup. Aislin felt that was highly out of character from herself, but with the way both victims were treated it would have been very shitty if she just stood by and did nothing, and refusing to become more than a witness. Besides, it gave some excitement to her otherwise dull life.

Aislin came deeper within to the forest where the trees were much taller and thicker, and upon coming upon a tree that was open in the trunk much like a den, an inside was a white wolf and it made her jump slightly. The thickness of the trees had blocked out the scent since she was hiding inside, and even with her tracking skills, how she was not able to smell her was disappointing and surprising, but Aislin didn't dwell on it for now. The white female was licking her paws, possibly sore from her travels or just washing out dirt and maybe rocks in between the pads, and looking rather down. Who would want to be down in a place like this? It confused the jet black tracker.


"Hello there. Another new face in a new land. Though you don't look presently happy."


Aislin groaned internally hoping that she wouldn't have to be another savior of sorts to this wolf, as she had been in the past. As much as it was needed for the prior events, it was still so annoying that she had to stumble on it twice in a row, all in the way of finding her perfect pack. Ludicael was still heavily on her mind for the mixture that the pack had, as all the others were too goody goody with stupid goals or unobtainable ones, or just evil ones who were crazy out of their minds. Aislin was neutral evil, not chaotic, but whatever paid the right price for her own sake, she would take regardless. Aislin had heard about Glaciem where every female there was used for nothing but breeding. As much as Aislin liked the pleasure aspect of it, the pleasure was only temporary and not long lasting, and it strained the body unnecessarily. Tracking and running Aislin liked better. Eventually, she would become a hunter and be successful at it. For now, she was to remain a tracker.

Focusing her attention back to the white female, she wondered what her name was. Aislin wasn't too keen on sharing hers until she at least heard what she had to say, and most of the time she expected others to say their name first as Aislin wasn't the most trusting of lone wolves. Pack wolves had a bigger sense of dignity and duty that Aislin preferred (especially since she was a pack wolf before), and those that were rogues for too long tended to lose that sense of respect or discipline over time. Aislin refused not to so she would keep her mind in a sort of alpha state, but with no territory. It was rough to explain how it worked, but it worked for her and that was all that mattered.


"727 words. Man I had to type!"






Qanik

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11-08-2013, 03:41 PM
Qanik was so tired and so lost in her own self pity that she completely missed the approach of another wolf to her hidden resting place. It was only when she heard a voice address her that she realized anyone was there. She whipped her head up, fur bristling in alarm, to see another wolf.

She took a moment to assess the situation and regain her balance mentally. Female wolf. Taller than Qanik, but built lighter and she looked younger. Less experienced, maybe? Not something that could be depended on, and she looked fairly rested while Qanik herself was worn out.

Qanik cast a glance and a sniff at the forest around them, but the other wolf seemed to be alone. She didn't smell like she belonged to a pack, but again, not safe to assume. She could be a scout, away from the pack long enough for their scent to have faded. Better to err on the side of caution.

The white wolf levered herself carefully to her feet to put herself on more even footing with the black female.

"I'm just passing through," she said warily. "Taking a break to rest my paws, that's all. Not looking to encroach on anyone's land."

But it felt like a lie to say she was only passing through, and she didn't want it to see like she was hiding anything, so she added, "I'm looking for a pack to join up with, if they'll have me. Name's Qanik."



Aislin


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11-08-2013, 03:57 PM (This post was last modified: 11-08-2013, 03:58 PM by Aislin.)

It seemed that Aislin had also caught the female off guard, possibly because of the same reason that she couldn't smell the wolf, though the sound of footsteps on the leaves should have been a dead giveaway. Perhaps Aislin was just that light footed. When the female jumped, Aislin gave an apologetic look. As much as she didn't like involving herself into troubling situations, she didn't like causing them either. Even though Aislin was taller than this female, it seemed she was also younger, but it was hard to say what differences in experience the two women had. The female seemed a little guarded, which was understandable, and answered that she was just passing through. It confused Aislin a little, but perhaps she was headed somewhere too. Maybe she was in search of a pack like Aislin. Before Aislin could open her mouth to reply, the white woman continued and confirmed her answer; she was looking for a pack, just like her. Aislin hadn't come across another with the same goal or ambition. Perhaps they could travel together so that the days weren't so boring, or maybe the female didn't wish for company. For now, it seemed that the female was not yet so trusting. Neither was Aislin so they were currently on common ground. It made Aislin at least feel a little better.

"Aislin. And I was also originally, though more I am exploring. Discovering what other packs are around. I have found a few, but none have piqued my interest like Ludicael. Like you, I am also searching for a pack. Nice to meet you."

Aislin remained kind to Qanik, though pronouncing her name tickled her tongue like a new flavor; tingling to the tastebuds, but in time she would adapt to it. The black female sat down, trying to make her more neutral body language to be that of a little more friendly so the other female would be a little more comfortable. The way she shifted herself was Aislin shifted her shoulders so they were in a relaxed slouch, and her neck was not so tall like a soldier in a squad line, but loose and relaxed like someone who would be slouching. Aislin's tail also wrapped around her toes, since she stopped they began to get cold. Licking her lips, Aislin wetted them with her tongue so it was easier and not so chapped to speak to the white Qanik.


"Are you new to the lands like me? Or have you been a rogue for a while?"


Aislin asked just to make conversation. Her voice was soft, not necessarily monotone, but it held a positive and relaxed tone to it. Aislin had been wandering for a very long time since she left her last pack, which was more boring than watching water dry on a rock. In honesty, they did nothing more than get together and... just be together. Sure, hunts occurred once in a while, but there were no adventures, no great festivals or celebrations, just nothing going on and it bored the hell out of her. It was one of the reasons why Aislin became a rogue, though she was pretty much ready to settle down again. One of the other reasons was because she just felt like getting away and being by herself for a while. Being the neutral evil she was, she only desired things for herself, but at the same time, she didn't mind accompanying others. It made her life a little less boring that way, and really there was no need to waste energy by acting insane and crazy, and making the beautiful world that much darker of a place. Honestly wolves that fed off of their body's adrenaline by battles or whatever their rise came from and not focusing on what their destiny or purpose was just simply frustrated Aislin, and she preferred to not associate with wolves like that. Aislin didn't mind the rogue life, but after a while it got rather bland and tasteless, and Aislin could use some spice to kick it back up a little bit.


"685 words."






Qanik

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11-09-2013, 01:56 PM (This post was last modified: 11-10-2013, 09:04 AM by Qanik.)



The other wolf was a rogue.

The relief she felt on hearing that surprised Qanik. Once upon a time she'd have been distrustful and disgusted by rogue wolves - wolves who couldn't, or wouldn't be part of a pack. Either there had to be something wrong with them that they couldn't get accepted, or they chose to be selfish and reject pack life, either way she had always been immediately suspicious of them. But that was her old life. That was before she'd gotten first-hand knowledge of what it was like to be alone, of what it felt like to be constantly rejected by packs who thought as she had once thought. Chased and bullied and abused by packs just for getting too close to the borders they protected. She found herself preferring the company of rogues now, because they were somewhat less likely to run her off to protect the interests of their pack.

When the other wolf went into a more relaxed posture, Qanik slowly mimicked her. She sat, heavy tail wrapped around her sore paws, though she couldn't match the other wolf's slouched pose. She held herself more upright, uncomfortable with abandoning her naturally dignified bearing. Just one more aspect of her life with a pack that would probably never leave her.

"I am new here," she answered the other wolf. "My old pack's lands were far from this place, and I've had to travel a long ways to find someplace where my pack's name wasn't known. When my pack fell apart, the surrounding packs were more than happy to punish us for our fall from grace."

Qanik's husky voice was irritated, but who could blame her? Her pack had long been a power in the lands she hailed from and had accumulated many enemies. Enemies who had delighted in showing Qanik just how much they hated everything she stood for. She was still more than a little bitter about it.
"How about you? Did you chose the life of a rogue or was it forced on you?" she asked. It felt a little... rude, to be asking that question, but she was curious.


Speech,



Aislin


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11-11-2013, 10:28 AM

As Aislin sat comfortably, Qanik expressed how she was also new to the lands and that her pack had fallen apart. The distance from them was in attempts to not be known and forgotten. In this, Aislin could understand if the pack fell apart, but at the same time, she her feelings didn't sway to care about it. The same thing had happened to her, and it had been forgotten later on. Aislin wasn't one to dwell on past things, and Qanik wasn't either it seemed. Then Qanik asked the same of Aislin, if pack life had forced her into a rogue status, or she chose it on her own. Aislin had to think for a moment to draw the old memories she had put away for a reason.

"I actually chose it for my own. The pack I resided in thought it was good enough to be together and just.. be. Nothing special in life happened, no ceremonies, just mark your territory, hunt your food, move on. It was rather boring. Friends were far and few from my old lands, more or less because many couldn't understand my want and desire to run and fly, so I was an outcast." Aislin shrugged her shoulders. It didn't bother her much as others opinions of her didn't bother her at all, and were more or less cast off or thrown back at the one who would throw insults. Aislin cared less for others lack of respect for her, as it told her they weren't good wolves who understood anyway.

When Aislin described her desire, she showed her legs and their length before setting her paws back down. She was meant to run, and she was meant to track. Her skills weren't utilized while in the pack and that was the other thing that bored her greatly, was that everyone was doing their own thing and there wasn't much structure. Even though Aislin didn't like structure herself, her old pack needed it badly. Most packs she had seen had at least some structure, tasks for others to do and either rewards or punishments for success or failure, and always something going on in the pack that made it different.

"I figured that when I left the pack, I too would travel very far to discover what was out there for me. So I ended up running and letting my legs take me where they wished, and I ended up here. The journey only lasted four seasons roughly.?

Running four seasons would seem like a lot for a wolf to run, but to her it was an amazing feeling. It wasn?t even her limit. It wasn?t as if Aislin had been running non-stop the entire way. No mortal wolf had the capability of doing that, so occasionally she would stop and rest, feed, pee, and then continue running for however long she could go. Aislin thought of herself as possibly one of the better runners out there, and most questioned why she was a tracker and not something like a messenger. Aislin thought it was because she felt that leaders should say something to someone face to face than send someone else to do their work, but it was understandable when it was utilized while the leaders were busy. Still, she didn?t see it fitting her very well.

"Have you checked out any of the other packs yet? I have been running around and investigated a good chunk of them, though there is one I am possibly going to go into." This sparked Aislins interest as she kept her orange eyes on Qanik, surprised slightly how much she was like her, and yet unlike her. It was a strange realization.

In total on the lands, there were six packs, and she had investigated five, and stalked the sixth. The stalking was a good thing as she watched Ludicael. It just seemed fitting with the mix of wolves, and not the constant, traditional, and boring, mix of the same kind of wolf whether insane or goodie two shoed. The leader was lax on what one did, and didn?t punish for outside fights so long as you took care of it and it didn?t threaten the pack. To Aislin, that was how she would lead a pack if she were elected or made into Alpha, but Aislin didn?t wish to lead. She simply wished to live. For now anyway.


"737 words. If my posts get too long, yell at me xD"






Qanik

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11-19-2013, 10:41 AM



Listening to the other wolf's words, Qanik's brow furrowed in mild confusion. She simply could not fathom choosing the life of a lone wolf - always alone, unable to catch anything larger than a hare so always feeling the edge of hunger, always on your guard because you had no one to watch your back - but more, she could not understand how a pack would simply fail one of its own so strongly. An outcast? For what? For having her own strengths? Her pack had failed her terribly if they had not played to her strengths, given her the support structure and encouragement she'd needed. How could a pack survive, if it wouldn't bring together all of it's wolves? She shook her head. Shameful.
Then she blinked. "You've been on your own for four seasons?" And here she'd been barely eking out an existance for less than a quarter of that time. She felt a stirring of respect for the younger rogue. Four seasons, and she looked in much better shape than Qanik did now.
"I haven't seen much of the packs in this area, she admitted. "I've been avoiding them until I get a better understanding of the land. You say you have one that interests you?"
If this young wolf knew the packs in the area, maybe she could help Qanik find her footing in this strange place. Maybe she'd be able to find a pack to call her own - someplace she could feel whole again, someplace that would banish this aching need and loneliness. She was not a solitary wolf by nature, and this rogue life was killing her inch by inch.



Speech,



Aislin


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11-19-2013, 11:13 AM (This post was last modified: 11-19-2013, 11:14 AM by Aislin.)

The surprise from Qanik was expected. Being out here for four seasons was probably unbelievable, but Aislin wouldn't mention how she did it. Stealing from other packs caches was not her cup of tea, but it gave her abilities of stealth. "It's hard the first week, but as time goes on, you learn things about the prey and about yourself that help you survive, and for me, I learned a few things and did a few things. Some things I liked, others I did not but I did it for the sake of survival. That's all behind me now." Aislin listened as she mentioned that she had not yet checked out the other packs, but inquired as to which one Aislin had her eye on. Aislin sat back for a moment trying to remember the name. "Ludicael it was. It is a pack based on accepting everyone with a strict set of enforced rules, but to me it sounds like the rules aren't too bad. They are a little deceptive on their strength and what not, which is understandable. To me with the variety they accept, it sounds reasonable. Jupiter, the alpha, is also pretty lax on what you do outside of the pack so long as you settle it outside and not bring it inward. Except for mates. That one you have to bring to her it sounds like." Aislin had spent the time to do her research and listen to the words from other wolves who had stopped by or were previous members, though most of it she got from the ravens.

"I wouldn't join the other packs. One has women as breeding machines, Valhalla is too goody for me, Tortuga is a broken pack trying to come back as a peaceful pack, Amenti is... disturbing, and Seracia is just too.. bland. Ludicael actually sounds like it would be a pack that I could benefit best from, and relate to other wolves like you and me. Not some wolf who believes in justice and peace in everything and is essentially a pacifist." Aislin didn't mind the wolves who wished for peace, but it was how much they wished for that peace that bothered her a little. Some could get overboard with it and annoying, which was a waste of time and others used too little of it and could care less. Aislin was in between. Aislin preferred everything to be neutral, but at the same time, she also liked darker things and finding others like her was difficult, as many didn't see things the way she did.

"If you want, you could go with me. You seem like me in some ways, and you might benefit from it. The pack is a lax style, but it still has structure and purpose. Besides. It would be nice to have a friend in a pack than try and do the whole thing over again." Aislin offered as she cast her gaze on Qanik. It felt kind of funny to have developed a friend, more or less. It was also a strange feeling too. Aislin was so accustomed to being alone, that having a 'travel buddy' was strange, but pleasant at the same time. "I plan on going by to check it out myself, and see if I can talk to Jupiter and get accepted. It's better than staying alone anywhere." Aislin pointed out, as Qanik was not in as good of shape as Aislin was which told her Qanik wasn't accustomed to being a loner like Aislin was. It wasn't like Aislin was fat or anything like some pack wolves could get. Aislin was skinny as any lone wolf was, though Qanik was thinner than she.


"616 words."






Qanik

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12-05-2013, 01:49 PM



Qanik cocked her head to the side, considering Aislin's words thoughtfully. Though she wasn't so sure about the idea of joining a pack with what sounded like such a loose organization, Aislin had a very good point. Being accepted in almost any pack would be better than moping around and starving to death all alone. And it would be nice to have someone there she knew, and right now Aislin was the only wolf she had been able to have a real conversation with since her pack had gone their separate ways, and the only wolf she knew at all in these lands.

But that would mean trusting a rogue wolf she'd only just met.

They do sound like a very accepting pack, she said cautiously.It would be a change for me. Maybe a change for the better. She mulled it over a bit, then added, I would be willing to give them a try, if you recommend it. And if they'd have me. You know this area much better than I.

She sighed, then gave herself a shake as though to shake off the depression that still dragged at her. Change will be good for me she thought firmly to herself. I can't survive if I keep living in the past.


OOC: Sorry my posts have been so short. I'm still not quite back in the swing of roleplaying yet.



Aislin


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12-05-2013, 03:55 PM (This post was last modified: 12-05-2013, 03:58 PM by Aislin.)

At least it seemed like the both of them were on the same page. As much as Qanik seemed to like roaming around, there was that thought lingering in the back of her mind that it would probably be better to join a pack sooner than later. As well, it also seemed like she was cautious on trusting the rogue, which Aislin couldn't blame her for. Aislin was the same. "I figure they are the better pack of them all considering they fit me more than anyone else, since we just met. I know my personality well and, well, you seem to be similar to me so I figured suggesting that pack to you would be a good start. Since we just met, I know trust is probably little as of now which is understandable. However if it were my intention to betray your trust, I would have to work much harder at building some sort of relationship with you I would think in efforts to take advantage of you. My only interest right now is to find a pack and get into it, with maybe a companion going with who is in the same boat as I." There was a truthfulness in Aislin's eyes that resonated with the fiery orange. It sort of glittered, but her unwavering voice and body language only confirmed her story, or she was simply that good at it. Honestly, Aislin didn't find it worth it to fool one wolf who was a rogue to begin with before finding a pack. If she were to take advantage of anyone, it would be a pack leader or someone with a bigger connection, not starting from the lowest of the low and working her way up. It wasn't anything against Qanik - Aislin could see she was a good wolf in some ways, such as the way she spoke and carried herself. The other ways would be discovered later should she choose to follow with Aislin and make the travel that much more enjoyable, to say the least.


"You do not have to travel with me either, if you feel that the pack may not suit you. I only know this area for the little amount of time I have traveled it. Besides that, this is all new to me as it is to you. I merely did my research in the packs as to what seemed more... tolerable, in a sense. Ludicael has a leader with bounds of knowledge in her skull, a 'not taking shit' attitude, who is cunning and quick with the tongue, as well as slow to anger combined with the leadership skills an alpha should have, that seems to be one of the best selections." Aislin thought about the leader and what she heard of him or her, and contemplated on what the leader may look like, such as size, movement, speech, and the colors. It was all varied as the leader could look like anyone so it kept Aislin's interest hot.

"Sure, other alphas will have similar qualities, but when it comes to the acceptance of members everyone should be welcome as who they are and not what they are capable of, as everyone is capable of something somewhere. Just as you are. I am capable with my tracking skills, and with the ability to use my stealth and tongue to my advantage. You? You are largely built with a strong and steady frame, and your paws are large enough to carry the weight of your muscle and strength forward. You seem like a fighter, and you show your courage in the way you sit. You also speak with the courage slipping past your teeth and with that, you fear nothing." The black tracker walked around the girl once for a moment as she spoke before coming back to the front of her and sitting. Aislin took the silence for a moment to let what she said sink in. Aislin at this point wanted the wolf to feel comfortable, if she already wasn't, enough to be able to travel with her with no issue. It wasn't like Aislin to divulge in something like that, but given the circumstances and the lack of being able to be social with anyone else (as well as this girl being her potential pack mate), she figured it would be an opportunity to get to know about Aislin a little more. Aislin wasn't releasing confidential details about herself, but more or less what her capabilities were. As a spy, she wouldn't release those details to anyone in efforts to not release what she could really do in the event of a dangerous life threatening situation, whatever that may be. But since she was still training, it was at least good to have one friend, or someone you could talk to.

But why Qanik? Aislin had to ask herself this for a moment. Was it because Aislin slightly saw a side of her within Qanik, though it had been such a short meeting already? Or was it that she felt like she could trust this girl? It was hard to say as anyone could take advantage of anyone, but if this wolf was truly trying to do something suspicious, wouldn't there have been some sort of sign or movement mistake she would make? Unless she was that damn good of a spy, which she doubted given the way she was framed. The girl was much too big to become a spy and would make too much noise. No, Qanik was built to be a warrior, and not a spy. Though, anyone if they worked hard at it could be a spy, but that didn't mean they wouldn't be good at it. The thought and prospect of it went through her head, but her father wouldn't send out spies. Aislin was much too far for that and resources would be limited. Besides - by now her father was probably dead by the disease that swept through. It was only a matter of time anyhow.


"If you wish to follow me, I would be glad for the company. It would make my days traveling alone that much different. I will leave this decision up to you, however."

1042 Words. {Don't worry. I've been a little slow too. Also, if you would like to jump in on a thread I already have going, you may feel free to do so. I know since you're busy, it's not required but for this semi-plot that seems to be building, it might make sense. The link is on the other side of this bracket and since it's black you will have to mouse over I think. >>> {}"When the price is right."{