ardent

Holes in our lives



Iorwerth

Loner

age
6 Years
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Male
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89
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Novella
10-13-2013, 01:58 PM (This post was last modified: 10-18-2013, 06:22 AM by Iorwerth.)



Iorwerth had lost track of time, already winter was drawing close and it seemed impossible that over an entire year had passed since he had proudly walked through the lands of Uroril. So much had changed in that time to the extent that the former heir had found himself wandering entirely unknown lands for quite some time now. He hadn't lingered long in the place he once called home, nor could he have stayed with his mother and sisters in their strange pack. Sadly for quite some time the male had been able to see no other life for him other than that of a rogue. What sickened him more was knowing how much pleasure those horrific traitors would have felt, seeing him like this. They had gotten their wish at last, his so called father had given in.



This would be his first winter alone, and truth be told Iorwerth wasn't entirely sure what to make of it. His figure had sadly already suffered since his time alone, no longer could he have such feasts from a successful pack hunt, he worked on his own and was left to eat what pitiful meal he had caught. He was perhaps still better than many, though his food was certainly not fit for a King any longer, just another awful reminder of just how far he had sunk in this past year. What on earth would Yahir say now if he could see him? Rogues certainly were lower than pack wolves, and here was someone he'd once thought of as a future King, now shamefully hiding away from society.



He'd ran out of land again for now, and slowly he made his way over the beach. Unbeknownst to him, around this time the light typically danced across the obsidian grains, though today it showed no such display for the lonely man. The clouds blocked the sunlight, fighting back the rays and leaving a rather dull afternoon for the isolated wolf. Funny really how it had always seemed his destiny was to follow in his father's steps and now here he was, his path threatening to lead him down a similar route to his mother's secret past. Arelahn's darkness had never been revealed to her daughters let alone her son and so the comparison was lost to him, whether for the better or not it would be left unknown.




Cirala

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
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0
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Medium
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posts
23
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10-17-2013, 09:50 PM


Cirala had not really planned on following her brother; in fact she had been very surprised to find his scent here at all. She had not known his reasons for his leaving them, and while she cared for him she had not partially cared to know them. She had never been close to him; it was hard, after all, to bond with a sibling that she had not really belonged to her family. More than anything he acted as a reminder of their purpose of their birth, something only he got to see the benefit of. Even if it had been torn from him.
But since picking up on his scent she had found herself tracing him, several days behind it seemed as the scent was never fresh. That was fine by her, she simply wanted to make sure he was alright but didn?t particularly want to intrude upon him. He must have left for some reason, and she would rather not become a part of his life if he had left to escape them. The scent was getting fresher, and she hesitated. But the scent of a somewhat fresh kill won her over. She doubted there would be any left by the time she caught up to the boy but she was willing to chance it.
She broke into a lope, blue-black paws beating at the snow covered ground, kicking up the ivory powder. Hazel orbs scanning the horizon as the scent became stronger, fresher. She skidded to a halt a ways away from him, he was facing away from her and she hesitated again, unsure. The wind picked up then, chill and blowing snow but she suddenly realised she was upwind of him. She would wait then, let him make the call.


"Speech"




Iorwerth

Loner

age
6 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
size
Large
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posts
89
player
Novella
10-18-2013, 07:07 AM



The distance had indeed kept Iorwerth from realising he was being followed. Truth be told he probably wouldn't have been amused to discover that his sister had been following him to ensure he was ok. He was after all perfectly capable of caring for himself, and would have been highly offended to know that Cirala thought otherwise. Fortunately though it didn't seem like it was going to be an issue, not with the amount of ground that had been covered and the large space still between them both.



It was only as Iorwerth slowed in the south that matters started to change and now today Cirala's little plan seemed like it was about to shatter into pieces, her presence finally revealed to the man. The scent crept upon him at first, a frown meeting his features as he paused. Then as the gust of wind pushed the smell further towards him, he turned spotting the familiar form. Cirala was certainly Yahir's daughter when it came to appearance, in the same way that Satu was near identical to their mother. Iorwerth it seemed had become a rather handsome mixture of the pair if he said so himself.



His gaze was now fixed upon her as he steadily strode closer towards her. His expression told not how he felt about this, still entirely unreadable he came to a stop once he had closed some of the distance. "Cirala." The only form of greeting or real recognition that was bestowed upon her, but then they certainly were not close for a brother and sister. "Why are you here?"




Cirala

Loner

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5 Years
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Female
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10-22-2013, 12:26 AM


Cirala shifted from paw to paw suddenly unsure. It probably would have been best if she simply hadn?t chosen to follow him. They were both grown adults after all, perfectly capable of taking care of themselves, he certainly didn?t need her looking out for him. Still he approached her, and her stomach began fluttering. What was it about her brother that had her so nervous? The answer was so simply really, she hardly knew him and how could you trust someone you barley knew. She did not think he had any nasty intentions but then she could never be quite sure.
With his words she took on a slightly defensive stance. His expression was blank, something she had grown accustomed too despite the short time they had been in the same pack together. Her ears pulling back some, her brows lowering into a frown. "I came here after our cousins left." She stated plainly. No point skirting that question.
She looked at him for a moment, he seemed unharmed, doing well for himself. With those worries put aside she could focus on the thing that was bothering her. "I could ask you the same thing, brother." There was a little edge to her voice. He wasn?t allowed to question her motives without expecting the same thing back.


"Speech"




Iorwerth

Loner

age
6 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
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Large
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89
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Novella
10-22-2013, 06:59 AM



Iorwerth certainly would have agreed whole-heartedly with those words. Whilst he wasn't about to cause the girl any harm, her actions were completely unnecessary and an intrusion upon his life. They had no connection to one and other and she had plenty of family that she was far closer to, there was no reason to try pretend they were anything more than acquaintances to one and other. He was perfectly happy with that not changing either, and if she had followed hoping to change that she was about to be sorely mistaken.



"I came here after our cousins left." She stressed the word 'our' and for a moment the male feared that perhaps she was indeed attempting to fix the lack of relationship, to try persuade him to come with her and find Novel and Dutiron's children. He was well aware of the fact that they had left, his own departure had been around the similar time only he had chosen to keep alone and no matter what Cirala said he wasn't about to change his mind. He kept silent though, the explanation wasn't enough. To be honest he had wished to enquire as to why she was here bothering him now.



No further explanation was offered however and instead she turned the question back upon him. "I could ask you the same thing, brother." There was no shift in expression though he was far from amused by her words and tone. "That is not your concern." He responded simply, a rather unfair answer perhaps given the fact he had asked the question first, though it was her fault she had mus-interpreted his words. "I do not care why you left, why are you here with me rather than them?" He repeated the question, this time clarifying exactly what he had meant.




Cirala

Loner

age
5 Years
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Female
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0
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Medium
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posts
23
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11-05-2013, 09:45 PM


Cirala had always known her brother was abrasive; they certainly never got on very well and she didn?t expect that to change just because they had gotten a change in scenery. Still sometimes his aggression would catch her off guard, often times it seemed unwarranted to her. ? That is not your concern? It took considerable restraint to allow those words to roll off her back. So he was allowed to ask the questions but not her then? Fine if that was how he wanted to play it. It was his next question however that really irked her, partially because he had refused to answer her and partially because she didn?t really have an answer.
Cirala wrinkled her nose and struggled to find an answer for him, as well as for herself. She almost didn?t give him one, feeling that maybe he didn?t deserve one. No, no maybe about it, he didn?t deserve to know, he had no right to it, but she had taken his questioning as an challenge and she?d be damned if she allowed him to win. " I hadn?t found them yet, I thought you might have so I came to check; Evidently not." She sniffed, trying to sound disappointed. It was a lie, but she hoped he would buy into it.
She wouldn?t give him much time to stew on it however, speaking hastily. " Now I ask you again, what are you doing here?" She stared at him unblinking, she wouldn?t back down, not without a fight at least.


"Speech"




Iorwerth

Loner

age
6 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
size
Large
build
posts
89
player
Novella
11-06-2013, 01:35 PM



If there was one thing Cirala could probably guess from Iorwerth leaving, it was simply that he had no plans to play happy families any time soon. He had sought to escape everything in Uroril and had never cared much for Ahlon. He hadn't needed anything from either of those places any more, an entirely new start was the more appealing idea to the young man than attempting to bond with wolves who probably wouldn't care much for the former Uroril Progeny. Even if he had wished for them to accept him, Iorwerth's blunt nature wasn't exactly about to change any time soon. He had hardly had the warmest of environments growing up with Yahir, the life had hardened him, emotions did not need to be expressed.



In Iorwerth's mind however he did deserve the answer. She was the one who had followed him, she was the one who had failed to understand him. He cared not why she had left and he truly believed that she ought not to care why he had either. It was no secret that the bonds of brother and sister only lay as deep as blood, there was no connection beyond that and his father had certainly proven to him that blood didn't always matter when it came to family. Yahir had wanted nothing to do with the girls and when he had gotten his new litter, he had wanted nothing to do with Iorwerth either.



"I hadn?t found them yet, I thought you might have so I came to check; Evidently not." Iorwerth thought the answer rather unbelievable to be entirely honest. He hadn't even bid his family a real goodbye before taking off, he was hardly going to put all his efforts into finding his cousins and then reporting the information back to his sisters on the off chance that they too had decided to leave. He gave a small scoff at her words, though she spoke again before he had the chance to respond. "Now I ask you again, what are you doing here?"



Whilst it was perhaps only fair for him to answer as he had already asked the question, Iorwerth simply couldn't understand why on earth he was so important to Cirala. Why had she really searched for him? "Why does it matter so much to you?" He questioned, certainly curious about her reasoning behind this madness. "Surely Arelahn can not have convinced you there is still any hope for us to be a family now Yahir has left me alone as well?" He would have thought his sister to have more sense than that.



"I am here purely because I can be. Uroril is not the great kingdom Yahir believes it to be and clearly Ahlon is not all that wonderful if you have found yourself parting from it and your family." He opted to give her an answer, though surely she had known this all along. Whilst he wasn't the cheeriest of wolves, it must have been obvious that Ahlon was not a pack he fit into and that the family there were strangers and could stay that way.




Cirala

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
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0
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posts
23
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11-21-2013, 09:44 PM


Cirala had always known that her brother had never felt at home in Ahlon, though she certainly couldn?t imagine what has felt for Uroril. They had welcomed him upon his return to their sides and yet, he had rejected it, though not directly. He had obviously not been happy there. Often she had wondered why he simply didn?t return to his father?s pack, he had that privilege after all! Something his sisters didn?t have, though she certainly didn?t want it. She didn?t blame him for being distant; she blamed him for not trying to fix that, for not putting in the effort to reconnect with his estranged family.
But no if he wanted to be stubborn and mopey she wouldn?t try to change him, she doubted it would work anyways. Her jaw locked, she watched him as he drank in her words. She had never been a very good liar, but then it was a trait she did not need much, still there were times when she wished she could. She couldn?t explain why she had followed him, couldn?t explain why she cared but at the very least he could have been a slight bit thankful that someone seemed to care.
He spoke again, bringing up the question she didn?t have an answer for. She shifted, uncomfortable. She couldn?t tell him that she didn?t know the reason, it was dumb enough without having to be spoken allowed. Still he would press her with another question. "No she did not." She relinquished. " I do not believe there is anything we could salvage, not anymore anyways."
He finally answered, and Cirala sighed. "I do not pretend Ahlon is some heaven on earth but that does not mean I do not miss it. " She watched him for a moment, a question tugging at her mind. "Why didn?t you try, to be a family?" It was personal but she had to know. "You speak of how Yahir left you but you didn?t have to be alone."


"Speech"




Iorwerth

Loner

age
6 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
size
Large
build
posts
89
player
Novella
11-22-2013, 11:40 AM



Uroril had been home for a time, a naive period of his life where he had actually held importance to the pack. Yahir had once defended him, been proud to admit that Iorwerth was his son and future King, though as the new pups arrived he'd been cast aside, his so called father no longer denying that he was just a bastard with impure blood. Perhaps it was an egotistical call really, he was too proud to remain in a pack that had respected him for as long as he had been able to remember up until the point he'd been pushed out of the picture. He had little emotion, didn't really feel the sorrow he ought to have of being practically abandoned by his father, it was more like jealousy for the runts that had taken his place. Maybe the picture had become a little clearer to him, the fact that Uroril wasn't as great as he had once believed, though he probably would have remained ignorant of that if he had kept his role of Progeny, the heir and eventual King of the pack.



As for Ahlon, their ways were bizarre to him, so different to Uroril. Perhaps their leaders had a fairer way of ruling, though he doubted he could have ever gotten used to their concepts, even if he had given them time. The main issue was this tight bond between him family, essentially raised an only child he wasn't used to having siblings and his father certainly hadn't seemed to be particularly close to his own. He hadn't seen too much of emotions pouring all over the place though the greeting he had received from his mother upon his return to Ahlon had been a clear enough demonstration for the man. "Oh! My darling Iolo!" A ridiculous nickname he was glad he was glad he had no other memories of and quickly informed her never to call him that again. Various spins had been placed on the sentence, along with continuous statements of how glad she was to see him, had thought she never would again, had been too scared to try and visit Uroril though had missed him dearly. Worse still than all of that soppy nonsense, she had cried.



No. Ahlon certainly wasn't a home and that family, no matter how much they had tried to welcome him, followed Arelahn's lead in welcoming him, albeit in a far more respectful manner he couldn't help but feel so out of place in it all. A fresh start had seemed like the only option and though he had lingered around both Ahlon and Uroril for some time, eventually he had left all together. Now he hadn't looked back at all and there were no words that his sister could speak that would make him long for his stay in Ahlon to have turned out any differently. Realistically he couldn't see there to have been another result, not for him anyway.



It seemed that his sister was coming to terms with that also. The illusion that the girls of the family may have hoped for ought to have been shattered the moment Iorwerth arrived at the door. He wasn't Satu's dream brother in the same way that he wasn't Arelahn's 'little Iolo' and whilst then they may have hoped with time he'd settle in and they could resemble a family of sorts, he had realised fairly quickly it would not be the case. They were far too different to function like that, whilst opposites could work together however with Iorwerth in the equation it simply couldn't be. It all came down to him, it was his fault, and Yahir's too of course given he'd been the one to sever the young man's ties at such an early stage of his development.



Cirala's next question was indeed a personal one. The answer perhaps wouldn't be satisfactory to the girl, whilst she may not have invented some fantasy of a big brother, Iorwerth would guess that she had probably shared that hope that he would be a brother of some description, not this stranger standing before her now. "It simply would not work." He responded honestly, there was no hesitation, it was truthfully what he believed and there was nothing that would change that fact. There were no further details shared, but that small little sentence was probably the most open he had been with his family, although rather blunt to him it was a fact, not opening up his heart. There was no sadness to the words, he felt none. How could you miss something you had never had the experience of sharing? There was no loss at all to him and he had never really thought that there had been a chance to gain anything. The trip to Ahlon had been more for convenience than a hope to connect with his mother and sisters.




Cirala

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
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0
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Medium
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posts
23
player
12-14-2013, 11:37 PM


Perhaps what had irked her most about his unwillingness to reconnect had not really been his fault at all. Their mother had never really given up hope that her little boy would return to them, even long after her girls had matured, certainly she had been a good and loving mother but her adoration of the idea of her lost son? well it cut deep. Cirala had always felt more at odds with her mother than her sister, after all, she had reasoned to herself, how could her mother really love her when she so resembled the man that had effectively taken away her previous life? So to know that this fictionalization of her brother had earned such love and devotion had been deeply wounding for the girl; Iorwerth had been unaware just how lucky he was.
Still these were her problems not his, and certainly not things she expected him to know. So it was that she would wait for his response, wondering if he would even deign to answer. He would be right in his assumption that his answer would not satisfy her. She would look away from him and shake her head, sighing. Only because you wouldn?t try to make it work. She thought to herself. She wasn?t sure what it was that had made her so adamant about this, why she cared so much that he hadn?t made an effort he could not know? but it did frustrate her that he had not seen what he could have had.

Finally she would look back at him, hesitating some before speaking. "You could have at least tired for her." She would barley lift her voice above a whisper, she cared little if he didn?t hear her, nor who he assumed she was talking about. Both their mother and their sister had been raised Iorwerth upon a pedestal.


"Speech"




Iorwerth

Loner

age
6 Years
gender
Male
gems
0
size
Large
build
posts
89
player
Novella
12-15-2013, 10:02 AM



Arelahn's mind had been close to breaking upon making her deal with Yahir, a fact that of course not a single one of her children were aware of. The woman's only regret was perhaps only in the fact that she had been unable to keep her son with the family. All three children were special and it had never mattered that Cirala resembled the man that had stolen Iorwerth, what had mattered was that she had lost her son in the first place, that she had been unable to prevent the family from separating.



Iorwerth of course had only felt the warmth from that strong love in the earlier moments of his life, memories that he could no longer recall. Such emotions had been blocked out, pushed away upon Yahir's claim on the boy. Far more devotion had been shown to his mate and next litter, rather lucky then perhaps that Iorwerth had grown to be such a cold individual, he hadn't been aware of that portion of the treatment though he had at least gotten the general picture that those four pups had been far more important to Yahir than he had been. Ultimately though, it of course had some downsides as well, this lack of love meat that Arelahn's overpowering one had certainly been far too much for him. Cirala was indeed right, he hadn't known how lucky he really was. The family would have welcomed him back, if only he'd given them the chance.



It was all rather sad really, just how little he had understood of it. All he had taken from the reunion with his family was that he didn't fit in with the pack, and certainly had a different personality to the rest of his family. Cirala of course was different to Arelahn and Satu, even he had noticed such a fact though from what he could see it was simply that she was calmer. In his mind she still belonged, though he was an outcast. He hadn't believed and still didn't think it was possible to change that.



"You could have at least tried for her." The voice she spoke with was weak, and he perceived it as finally she was finally giving in. He had nothing to say to such words though, already he had stated that it wouldn't have worked. It had been far easier to leave than pretend to be that wolf that the family wanted him to be. "I'm leaving now." He announced simply. He'd had enough of the discussions and it seemed there was little left to say. He paused for a moment before moving, olive eyes still watching his sister. "I do hope you find them, our cousins." The word 'our' was spoken a little more awkwardly than the rest of his words, they may have been blood though they weren't really family, he knew little about any of them beyond name. The connection with them was even weaker than the one he shared with his mother or sisters.



With that he pressed forwards on his original path, pausing only briefly at his sister's side, olive eyes glancing at her for a moment. "Goodbye." He added, before looking away again and continuing to walk away. He hoped she would give up following him now, surely there was nothing else she wished to discuss after all.