Elsa Winterfell

Elsa had been debating with herself for a long while on the subject of what she called Raisa for. All men must serve Queen Raisa. She told herself as she weakly called for the queen. What was there left to do but tell her the truth. Am I really incapable of serving? Raisa was due to give birth any day and there Elsa was. The nightmares had gotten too bad. Half the day she would just lay off somewhere and sob. If Raisa even doubted this for a second there were those who knew that it had happened. Kaala for a start, she had seen Elsa at one of the better days. There were times where Elsa didn't know what was real and all the wisdom in the world couldn't save her from herself. She was laying on the ground then, her white fur clinging to her pelt. It was all so confusing. What was she to believe? What was she not to believe? What was real? That was yet to be determined. The fact was that Elsa was of absolutely no use to Raisa in the state she was in. Who was a wolf if they could not serve?

The howl was faint, with an under current of... something. Something Raisa could not place, but it unnerved her nonetheless. She rose, her massively swelled form hindering her only a bit. Luckily, the fae sounded close, else the alphess might not have heeded the call. All things said the walk was short, hardly more than a jaunt down the rise, around the bend, before she saw a familiar if diminished figure before her. Elsa stood, stooped, weighed down. An inivisble weight seemed to hang heavy over her head and shoulders, and it hurt the Queen to realize something was bothering her friend. "Sweet Elsa, what's the matter?" Her voice was soft, practically a croon, as she came close. She felt the urge to nuzzle the fae, but restrained. After all, she had been acting strange lately. Perhaps her feelings of friendship and concern would not be warranted. No, she would restrain herself until the time proved right. She was of course completely uncertain what the pale fae had in store. "Talk" "You" Think

Elsa

The voice was soft and it drew Elsa from her thoughts. A small and faint yet troubled smile cast upon her muzzle as she looked at her alpha sorrowfully. Raisa had been there for her, she had been there to support her when she needed it, since the two ladies had met. They were still far from done though, they were troubled. Elsa was troubled and Raisa was not. Elsa saw Raisa as.... perfect. She had everything she wanted and she had reached all her goals. "Raisa.... I-I..." She didn't know how to say it without breaking down and mentally shutting off. Should she just state it outright? Lie to hide the pain inside? Raisa was a good friend to Elsa. Perhaps the only friend that she had ever had. "Raisa... I am.... I'm incapable... I'm incapable of serving." She had said everything so slow until she got to the full sentence. The 'I'm incapable of serving' was almost rushed compared to how slow the other areas had been. The pure white cola looked at her leader hesitantly and waited for some form of reaction. Elsa felt terrible because she knew that Queen Raisa was only a few days from delivery. With the size her stomach had gotten there would be many pups and Maximous alone could not handle them. Valar Dohaeris Queen Raisa. Valar Dohaeris Queen Raisa. She told herself as she tried to hide back the tears that were starting to slowly well into her eyes.

The girl's words on reinforced Raisa's previous suspicions: Yes, something was definitely wrong. Yet the queen could glean no direct meaning from her. She was incapable? In what sense? With a sinking feeling Raisa wondered if perhaps the woman was sick, or had committed some sort of crime. As far as she knew things had been peaceful! Raisa took a stwp forward, concern furrowing her brows and her head cocking ever so gently to the side. Her fire and ice eyes gleamed with concern, even as her own girth pressed outwards to either side. She must have made an amusing picture, of that much she was certain. "What do you mean? Incapable how?" So far she had noticed no difference in the woman, no lack of progress in her work. Of course, the events recently had taken her interest in many different directions, but that did not mean she was displeased with the woman. Desperately the woman wished to know what ailed her friend, but she could not find the words. "Talk" "You" Think

Had the queen not noticed the absence of her scent from the herb stores where she use to spend much of her time? Had the queen not noticed anything off with her? No, the queen had a kingdom to run Elsa reminded herself. "I-It started around a w-week ago. Just after y-your conversation. I started to h-ha-have these nightmares a-and I-I'd wake up and I wouldn't be myself. I-I'd be violent or m-mis-mistake friend for enemy and e-ene-enemy for f-fri-friend. S-some days I'd sp-spend the e-ent-entire time sobbing. I-I can't serve like this R-Ra-Raisa a-and with your pups coming I d-don't want to r-risk accidentally h-hur-hurting them or you. O-One time I had j-just broken down in front of K-Kalla." She said as fear laced her voice. Would the queen be mad with her and banish her from the lands. Elsa's body shook as she fell down to the ground and buried her face. "normal. talk. think. you"

Raisa's heart broke upon seeing the woman's pain. With pain in her chest she approached, could no longer contain herself, simply pressed forward. She touched her muzzle gently into the crook of the woman's neck, comforting her in any way she could, even as she was uncertain whether it would work or not. She expected little and less, but only because she had never been in this position before. Royals were supposed to be hard and fierce and cold, but how could she show any of this to Elsa now? That was not what her friend needed. "Oh Elsa, why didn't you say anything? Nightmares don't mean you are incapable of anything, or weak, only that you have a few demons to face down." Raisa stepped back and settled down into a more comfortable position. "Would you like to talk about these nightmares? What they're about, how you feel afterwards? Perhaps we can find out wht's truly bothering you." Her friends comfort, her sanity was of utmost importance to the Queen. She would not leave that spot until it had been resolved. "Talk" "You" Think

Please pretend the speech is all first person. I took teh dream from the mental thread and pasted it in and it is in 3rd person....

Elsa

Elsa took a deep breathe and kept her face covered as Raisa started to go on about how that didn't make her incapable. Raisa had never seen her break down. She'd never seen the effects and she knew nothing about the nightmares. They were too terrifying to relive but Elsa would do anything that her queen asked of her. "I-In one of t-th-them... "Elsa stood there prime and fit before the court from her former pack. She could see the distained look in their eyes and she knew exactly what it was about. "You need to learn to control yourself Elsa." Her father had told her in a stern voice. She was just 4 months old, she knew little of control and no wolf seemed to stick around to aid her. But suddenly, the floor fell out from underneath her and she stood there along the lake in a harsh winter that was beyond anything she had ever seen. There she stood as she saw the rest of Ebony cowering in fear. Elsa was confused, she had never done anything to strike such behavior in the wolves around her. Especially nothing to make them all look at her like she was a monster. Where was Raisa? She could talk them out of the silliness they had gone under. It was then that she noticed what they were all scared about. Raisa was a frozen statue sitting on the ice that coated the once cooling water source. She had frozen and killed Raisa. "No!" She cried out in horror of what she had done. "NO! Nonononono. This couldn't have happened. I can't do this. I'm not cursed. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and then the wolves s-started to chase me and I h-had to run from the Ebony w-wolv-wolves." She stuttered out as she kept her eyes covered.

Raisa listened to the woman carefully, intently, and tried not to let the words disturb her. It was not as if she thought Elsa was fated to destroy her, merely the thought of death itself. Of course, to be destroyed from within would be a logical fear for the woman, but she pushed that thought down as well. In this moment, her own fears held little sway in the matter. As it was, the Queen listened on in silence, waiting until the woman's tirade came to an end. She watched as Elsa's breathing picked up, the fear glinting in those pale blue eyes. Raisa's sorrow was immense, though she tried not to let it show. Finally, almost abruptly, the pale fae came to an end. If it was possible, Raisa's features softened even further. In truth she wanted nothing more than to bring the woman to her side, comfort her with the compassion she knew she needed. Though they were of an age, as near as Raisa could tell, the sooty woman felt something akin to motherly affection for her snow-laden counterpart. "Oh Elsa," she said, gently. "My little Godling, do you still fear the prejudices of the past? It pains me to see that their taint yet lingers in your bones. Your pack mates here are your family now, not to be feared. Perhaps your old clan might have scorned and betrayed you, but I doubt very much that glib-tongued Katja or spunky Kaliska or brave Platinum or kind Vaughan would do the same. Perhaps it would help you to spend time with them, get to know them better. I'm sure they will earn your confidence, as they have earned mine." Her smiled was soft and warm as a spring breeze, and she prayed desperately that it would carry to the smaller fae a life-giving wind. The vitality of love, she had seen, was an indomitable force. "Talk" "You" Think

Elsa barely managed to hold herself in a composed manner and her eyes were still covered as Raisa attempted to comfort her. Raisa told her she shouldn't let her fear of prejudice get in the way of her new life in Ebony. Before she could even think about what she was saying she blurted out what she had been feeling, uncovering her eyes. "It isn't the prejudice I fear Raisa. I fear losing you." She then realized what she said and she dipped her head. She couldn't bear to look Raisa in the eye. Did I really just admit that to her? She wondered shamefully. Raisa had a mate, she was having pups with him. Elsa was just a stupid girl who Raisa had taken in out of pity. That was how Elsa saw herself. "normal. talk. think. you"