Just thinking of the heartbreak that he possibly left his dear Imena in tore his soul to pieces. As he drifted through the misty land that had been absorbed into the Valhalla hold in his absence, he worried over how he would ask for her forgiveness. Did he really deserve it though? He wondered if maybe he should have just stayed away, let her find someone that deserved her since he clearly was not that wolf. Someone that ran off in the middle of the night without a word, no matter the reason, did not deserve a fea like Imena. Never the less, here he was, back in his home pack. From what his aunt had told him Imena hadn't taken his leaving well, not that he had expected her to, but he was afraid to see the damage he had done to his love. He paused here and there, looking at the vivid herbs that seemed to populate this place, some he knew and some he didn't. He was still a healer at heart and even with all the turmoil that was raging through him he couldn't resist checking them out. There was something calming about reverting back to his craft and his studies. In mid step he froze in place, as that scent that he had been dreading and craving to smell drifted to him. He lifted his gold and sapphire gaze from the ground, his breath caught in his chest as he searched the mist for that blue gaze that he loved so dearly. What would she say? What would she do? He swallowed hard and waited to see if she would grace him with her presence or if he would get what he deserved and be left out in the cold. Speech Thought Companion Others

Imena

Since the meeting she had repeatedly attacked her own forelegs. She had laid there in her den, jaws snapping down on her limbs till she felt the pain and tasted her own blood. And though she treated them each time, the wounds were still fresh, still easy to spot with the fact the from her knee to her ankle fur was thinning. But it gave her relief from her internal suffering, allow her mind to escape the heartbreak and focus on physical pain and healing. Caerul might have been disappointed in her method of coping. But with doing that she was trying to be more involved with the pack. She had set out to find Amia, the young nomad. Something about the girl was calming and the two she-wolves had hit it off right away. Amia didn't judge her wounds, didn't give her the look of pity or shame. She didn't question any of it. But silently Imena knew Amia was just offering her unconditional love. The girl was full of it, it pulsed off of her like a heartbeat. She had taken the girl under her wing for training her farther in the art of healing. And while the girl never spoke much, Imena knew something was amiss by Amia longing and sorrow gaze while they trained and gather together. But today Imena would let the girl have a break to go and do as she wished. For today she wanted to find Shilah and get to know him for she would be training him as well. Along her way she had gathered more herbs, lavender, poppy seeds, alfalfa, and elderberry. Carrying all those herbs she did not scent anyone in her path. She would just have to take these plants to her den before she called for Shilah. But life had other plans for her. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts on what to go over with the young Nomad male she hadn't seen him till she was a few feet away. Glancing up she instantly froze. There he stood, bright as the sun, his eyes searching for her's. Her body shook and the herbs fell from her jaws as she continued to stare at him. Had she finally lost it? Had the suffering been too much for her mind and heart that it was conjuring up images of him now? She took two steps back, shaking her head violently, eyes squeezed shut. But when she looked again he was still there. Fear over took her and her mouth grew dry. Was he really here? Was Cael really standing before her?

There she was. A breeze had moved the mist hanging over the ground just enough that he spotted her standing there, staring back at him, just as frozen as he was. It felt like time stopped as they looked at each other, disbelief hanging in the air between them. There she was, his beautiful Imena. Well, perhaps not his anymore, but beautiful all the same. Cael finally found the strength to move his paws, moving toward her slowly and carefully. He honestly didn't know what to expect as a reaction from her. He wished none of this had happened and wished he could run up to her and embrace her. He craved her touch so badly, but wasn't positive that she wished the same. He knew that she would be completely justified in hating him at this point and even though the thought destroyed him he would understand if she never wanted to speak to him again. He stepped toward her slowly, one heavy paw step at a time till he was as close as he dared to get. Sapphire and gold eyes searched her sky blue as he finally managed to whisper, "Imena... Imena, it's me. It's really me." His heart ached and he wanted to reach out to her so badly it hurt. His gaze drifted from hers ever so briefly to look her over, make sure she was physically well... and they found her forelegs. He wasn't blind, and to top it off he was a healer. He knew exactly what to look for when looking for a wound. He saw every mark, both healing and fresh, dotting up and down her forelegs. His ears folded back and his eyes darted back up to hers. All of his worries about what she might have done when he left heightened to a terrifying level. "Imena..." was all he could say. His voice was hoarse with worry, tears, and self loathing. Tears welled up in his eyes and he wanted to turn away so she wouldn't see them, but he couldn't pull his gaze away from hers. The weight of the truth of what he had done and what he had caused pressed down on him till his legs crumpled under him and he sank to the ground. His eyes never left hers, gazing up at her from the ground as he spoke in hushed, rough tones, "I am sorry. More sorry than I will ever be able to express. If I could rip out my soul and give it to you has an apology it would never be enough... I have reasons and stories and news to tell you about my disappearing, but none of them are good enough to earn your forgiveness. I am the scum of the earth and I do not deserve to have you..." He looked to her forelegs again, the wounds now eye level from his new position on the ground. Seeing them up close only crushed his spirit more and tears began to spill from his eyes in earnest. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry..." he sobbed, his head dipping toward the ground and his eyes squeezing shut. Speech Thought Companion Others

Imena

She stood there frozen to the spot, watching him take one step at a time to be closer. She wanted to move away, wanted to rush to his side, she wasn't sure what she wanted. Memories they had shared flashed through her mind but ended in the memories of the many sleepless lonely night she had had since he left. The pain outweighed the good memories. She wanted to rip into him, shake him for all he had. How could he have done this to her! Why was he back? Why did he bother to search her out when after all he had left without a single word to her. Sky blue eyes grew cold and hard as she watched him. Hackles raised slowly, in defensive posture at him being closer. She thought of her past love, the betrayal she had felt, the since of never being loved, being outcast. No this time she could not, would not be crushed down by another male. Cael's words hit her ears making them twitch, the only sign she was not fully frozen to the spot. Her lips lifted as a low growl rumbled and bubbled in her chest. How dare he cry and fall down before her apologizing! Her head lowered, chin tucking in, blue eyes blazing."How dare you think you can cry before me! I don't care for your stories and news! You left me without a single word, slipped away like a coward when my back was turned! You never went to our wedding!" Her snapped out angrily at him. Her head lifted back up as she looked down at him with anger. But she did not hate him, pissed beyond any level she had been yes. Her eyes burned with sorrow and longing. She wanted Cael back, her mate. But she couldn't trust him now. Not when he so easily had left her, who was to say it wouldn't happen again? She snorted at him, tail raising. Long gone was the timid female he had first met. Yes she grieved, she harmed herself, but her confidence had grown. She knew her skills, knew her morals and where se stood."Stand up!Her bite out harshly. If he did she would stand there stiffly, holding herself back from touching him. No she could let him hurt her again and the only way she could was not to let him into her heart."Your den still is in the cave with me. Should you choose to stay there that's fine with me. If not.." She shrugged up her shoulders, looking away for the first time."You left me... you caused me such pain, I cant not forgive. I had no one to turn to! A screamed into the dark of the night, cold and alone without you. You were my light and when you were gone there was only darkness..' she said in a hushed voice. She gave her body a shake before slowly pawing her herbs back together in a pile. She didn't know if they could ever be together again, if they could heal and she could trust him again. But she was giving him another chance. But this would be his only one.

Of all the reactions Imena could have given him, this was not at all what he could have predicted. His gaze shoot up to hers with shock at her growl and her furious words. Of course, she had every right to be furious. Actually, she deserved to be furious. However, he had never actually thought that Imena, his gentle Imena, could lash out like this. At her command for him to stand he scrambled to his paws, his ears pinned back against his skull and his eyes wide with a mix of shock and worry. Her telling him that his den was still with her if he wanted it eased his fears a bit, but as she continued to speak it only crushed him more. He wished he could reach out to her, hold her, shower her with all the love he held in his heart for her, but he was honestly afraid that she would attack him if he did. Erani truly spoke the truth when she had told him that he had a lot of making up to do, more than he had ever imagined. He knew she probably didn't want to hear his reasons and stories now, but he needed to tell her, needed to explain himself. Now he felt ashamed to even to have thought it was a good excuse, but all the same it was all he had and he had to tell her. His eyes fell back to the ground, watching the pile of herbs she was moving back into a pile absently as he spoke in a soft, weak voice. He had lost all his confidence in his story, but all the same it needed to be said. "The night I left I had a dream that Claire had been murdered. It felt so real, like a vision. I could smell her blood and hear her cry out in pain... I was so terrified I took off without thinking, went on a frantic search for her. I didn't sleep for days and I just kept running and running till I was starving and my paws were bleeding. Time passed and I didn't even realize it had. But, I found her. Against all odds I found Claire. She was alive and well. She found a mate and had children of her own with her. I hope that dream wasn't an oman for the future... but for now she's happy. It wasn't until after I had found her that I realized how much time had passed, realized what I had done. I had lost myself, lost my mind. I stayed with her for just a day or two to regain my strength and then I came straight back here to find you." He tried to lift his gaze to meet hers and he couldn't do it. He stared at the ground between her paws instead, wondering if his explanation would do him any good in her eyes. He assumed it wouldn't, but one could hope. Even so, he added, "I would like to come home..." accepting her offer of staying in their den again. Silently he waited to see what she would say, if she would say anything. Speech Thought Companion Others

Imena

Her anger would more than likely cover up the fact she was glade he was back, that he was all in one piece and he had agree to take up the offer of going back to their den. After all it was the den they both found together, both made a life here in Valhalla. She had no right to take away a place that held so many good memories from him. She wouldn't do that. No matter how mad she was at him, how much pain he caused, she would always still love him. But her heart was more guarded now, she couldn't trust herself to open up again. She wanted to believe he'd never leave again. But then there was his brother Caerul. He had been in Valhalla as long as she had, had always been there when she fell and couldn't get up again. She knew he might have feelings for her too. She wasn't sure what she was going to do about that, but knew she could at least trust him. Cael had stood up and began to tell her why he had left. She didn't want to hear why, didn't really care. She couldn't get past the fact he never said a word. Had they not pledged to tell each other everything when they agreed to be mate? Had they not said they would be there for each other? But even so her head lifted up when he mentioned his sister. She had never met the female but knew the brothers were very protective of her. Mixed feelings knotted her stomach. She could understand his need to find her, yet he should have said something. She sighed heavily. It was already in the past, one could not go back in time. What was done was done. She gathered up her herbs gently, her anger defusing slowly. Looking at Cael, trying to meet his eyes she neared him slowly."Lets go home.." She muffled around her load of plants. At least she knew the den was tidy with refresh bedding. Even though she had fallen into depression in his absence, she did not neglect taking care of the den, gathering, and keeping herself fed and groomed. She glanced at him before moving to his side but not touching. She wanted to badly, oh so badly but she couldn't, not yet."Erani place you back as Eta? Maybe you can help train some of the younger ones. We have a very large pack now. I already have to train Amia, Try, Ravine, and Shilah. Speaking of Amia, don't be surprised if she pops in and out of the den a lot." She said softly. At least her bundle was small enough to make it easy to talk around.

"Lets go home..." was all he heard and he glanced up to see her holding the herbs that had fallen from her mouth before. She had said nothing about his finding Claire, but that was perfectly fine with him. He had a home and it was with her, that's all he cared about. His two-toned gaze met her beautiful blue as he watched her move to stand beside him. He gave her a smile smile as they began to walk side by side. He noticed that she still wouldn't touch him, but that was okay too. All in good time. Cael listened quietly as Imena spoke and then gave her a small nod and replied, "Yes, she did. And I would be delighted to help with the training. I'm so very proud of you being Theta Primary by the way... You deserve it more than anyone." His complement was genuine, and he hoped she believed it herself. His gaze drifted back to the path ahead of them as he continued to speak. "You mentioned Amia being in and out of the den? Are you two close?" Cael didn't know any of the young wolves she had been training, but he wanted to catch up on everything he had missed while he was gone. He knew that if she had mentioned Amia specifically she must be pretty special. Speech Thought Companion Others

She could feel the tightening around her heart lessen, the cold starting to thaw out in her blood. She felt more alive, well, and free of the tortured pain she had been in. She did not want to chew up her leg, did not want to hide from others. She wanted to overcome this, to move on. And with Cael being back in the pack she could finally start to make those steps. As they walked he mentioned her rank she now held. She supposed if Cael thought she deserved it, then she must right? He had not been with the pack when they had moved and such. And his opinion meant a lot to her. She never really thought her deserved Theta Primary, but hearing it come from Cael made her really think about it. When he asked about Amia she wagged her tail happily. The young girl just seemed to bring the best in her even when she wasn't right there. She nodded to his question before speaking."Something about that girl..i just want to be there for her. She has so much love to give, to everyone. And she wont hesitate to shower you with it either. She's a quick learning and has a feather light touch when working. But..there's something amiss. When she's training there is a sorrow in her eyes. I cant place it yet and I wont push her on the matter. She paused in talking, brows creasing for a moment."But she does come to the den a lot. Sometimes in the middle of the night. I think she has nightmares. And you can thank her for placing rosemary everywhere in the den." She smiled softly before almost dropping some of the herbs. Speech Thought Others

As he listened to Imena speak about Amia he saw the woman that loved begin to come out again, the gentle, loving, protective Imena he knew. He couldn't help but watch her and smile as he spoke, his gaze softening with the love he had for her. This was certainly a rough spot in their relationship, there was no doubt about that, but he hoped that they could work through it together. He wanted nothing more than for them to go on from this together. He wanted to give her the wedding she deserved and to hopefully start a family with her. Of course, it would all take time, but he could dream. Cael was just glad that there was something in this whole situation that gave her joy. He would have to thank Amia sometime for keeping Imena company and making her happy. "She sounds lovely. I can't wait to meet her. And it's a very good think I like the smell of rosemary then," he replied, chuckling a little at the thought of finding sprigs of the herb everywhere around the den. He noticed her almost dropping the herbs she was carrying and he offered, "Can I carry those for you? Then you could fill me in on what's happened with the pack since I've been gone. Like when did Valhalla move back to the plains? And what kind of other changes my aunt has made?" He waited to see if she would accept, genuinely curious about what he had missed. Though, he wouldn't be upset if she prefered not to talk about the past season or two. He wasn't sure how much of a raw spot it was for her right now. Speech Thought Companion Others

She could feel his eyes on her as she spoke. It wasn't unnerving at all but rather a familiar and welcoming feeling. Talking of Amia made her happy, if was nice to get past her anger at Cael for leaving and just talk and catch up. She wanted him to meet Amia, and it would only be a matter of time before he would she was sure. Amia was easy to get along with and Imena already felt like the girl was part of her family. She might not be close to others, or others might seek another's comfort instead of her, but damn it Imena would protect that girl at all costs.Don't be surprised if she is already there waiting or will show up shortly after us. I think she waits till im at the den to pop in. His chuckle was a sound she found she had missed dearly, her heart aching. She paused as he offered to take the herbs while she talked. She nodded and placed the herbs down infront of him, trying not to keep eye contact but just glances. When he would take the herbs she thought of where to start in catching him up.Well there was the hurricane but everyone made it ok with a few injuries here and there. After that Chrysanthe was challenged again by Isardis's daughter. She lost and we were forced to leave the island. But before we left Erani gathered us and took the reins of the pack. We can never die, we refuse to. No matter what we go through we will always hold together and forever be Valhalla. New faces joined us that day before we made the move back. She paused for a moment to lick her lips as they padded on.Erani hasn't changed too much. We must all train in Healing, Fighting, and Hunting. Which will make us all well rounded and prepared for anything. Caerul raised up in rank. Friction is back with the pack with a mate and new pups. More wolves join or ranks, Nomads like Erani and Amia have joined us. Ash and Leon have officially become mates with a mating ceremony. I do believe that is the just of it. We have lived peacefully for the most part. I havnt heard anything from Glaciem since the day of the challenge. She said softly. The hardest part she went through was watching the mating ceremony. It had simply broken her heart. Speech Thought Others

Cael took the herbs from Imena, glad to be able to help. He did notice that she wouldn't look directly at him, but he tried to ignore it. He wanted her to move at her own pace when it came to warming back up to him, he didn't want to force her at all because he knew that would only make things worse. Cael walked along beside her quietly as she spoke, briefly explaining everything he had missed. He felt like between his aunt's explanation and Imena's he hadn't missed anything at all. A sharp pang of guilt hit him when Imena mentioned Ashtoreth and Leon's mating ceremony. That was the one thing he regretted more than anything, the fact that he had ruined his and Imena's own ceremony. His ears flicked back at the thought and once again he felt like the scum of the earth. He looked down between his paws as they walked, silently vowing to himself that if Imena still wanted to be his mate he would make sure their mating ceremony would be beautiful and special for her. He owed her that much. ooc: maybe wrap up this thread and teleport over to their den for a Imena and Amia and Cael thread? Speech Thought Companion Others