collecting himself before going to look for her :3

crappy starting post xD

Eyes were closed as the man took in a long and deep breath, taking in the crisp autumn air. He was getting ready to go look for his daughter, to see how she was doing after the birth of her still born child. He knew the feeling, the first litter with his love only producing two little pups, one of them having to be taken away. One thing he couldn't understand however, was the knowledge that the child was the result of a horrible crime. Deviant sighed, ears folding back against his skull. He was her father, he should have been there in her time of need, protected her from that monster who defiled her... He hoped that she would not be upset at him for not being there, understood that since the family had been separated, he was giving everything in looking for them, wasting no time. "normal. speech. thought. you."

The cross marked girl would lay within her den, the feeling of heartbrokenness overwhelming her in solitude. Jinxx was not within the den and she was left on her own devices. It was likely he was out gathering more herbs, as she had been without her child for less than two days. She needed help sleeping, but still found it hard to eat regularly or at all. The sun would beckon her come out into the sun, but she couldn't find the will nor the strength to lift herself from the floor. She would sigh longingly as her body shifted, head rolling off her paws as she stared listlessly at the entrance of the den. Her mind, soul, and body would crave the presence of her daughter. Without another soul beside her she would find difficulty staying afloat on her ocean of misery. She would push herself up, if only to be in the company of the sun. She was losing herself, and had to do all she could just to stay anchored to the world. With great effort the girl would pull herself from the depths and into the light, depositing herself mere inches from the entrance. She would sprawl onto the bed of grass like a tag doll, get energy leaving her as her body met with the ground. Her royal purple eyes would be blocked from the sun as her eyelids would slide shut. Instead it's rays would glint off the tiny tear droplets falling from the corners of her hidden gems.?

A few minutes of silence and urging himself to move to find his daughter, the man was ready to go. Sturdy limbs would lift the wolf off the ground and to only half of his height, stretching out each leg for a brief moment then finally rising to his full forty inch stance. With a deep breath and quick shake of his head the man would move on, moving at a steady walk. Many scents filled these lands, but no matter what, his family's scent would always stand out amongst them. Carefully he would follow his daughter's scent, head held just about level with his spine, paws carefully caressing the earth. It would take a bit to narrow down the scents into the freshest, but once he found it he would follow as if there was no tomorrow. Full attention was focused on this, ears perked up and facing forward, amber gaze watching the path ahead, watching for any obstacle that would attempt to keep him away. Before he knew it, she was right there. The man came to a stop at the sight of a white wolf with black markings laying out in the grass, eyes closed and body absorbing the warmth of the sun, despite the season's chill. Dark lips would pull downward in a frown at seeing her in such a condition, even if he wasn't able to be around to see how things went, he could see the sadness through her body, the toll it was taking on her. A silent sigh would slip past his lips, if only he had been there for her... Carefully and silently he would move towards her, not wanting to make a sound, hoping he would be able to get close enough to nuzzle Twig before she opened her eyes. The distance between the two shortened, neck stretching, his nose gently nuzzling into the girl's cheek, lips pulled back into a warm smile. Amber gaze awaited the beautiful purple orbs, waiting for that light to spark up at finally seeing her father in the flesh before her. "Ashley..." Voice was so soft, just barely over a whisper, sweet, loving. "normal. speech. thought. you."

Fern's memory would continue to haunt her as the days minutes would pass by, she would feel no relief. Instead a constant pain would pulse throughout her bloodstream as her body would crave the child's presence. As though her slender frame was going through withdrawal from the addiction of a ferocious drug. So broken had her heart become that living had become a burden upon her. Jinxx's gentle words would help to pull her from the gripping depths, but without his constant presence she would flounder. So preoccupied by her grief would she be that she would not be alerted to another's presence. She would whisper little whimpers as her body would continue to mourn, she would hardly become startled as a gentle nuzzle was placed on her cheek. The accompanying voice would utter her first name, the one to first speak her title would whisper to her again. Her white lashes would flutter open and focus on his familiar form. Automatically he would become a living life raft for the broken girl. "Daddy." she felt a huge relief upon her as she tried to move closer to him, however she would only accomplish a slight rocking motion. A whine would leave her lips as tears continued down her face. "You were a grandfather."

Her voice, oh how it melted his heart to hear it once again after what felt like so long. Hi tongue would reach out, lightly running underneath each eye, wanting to remove the small tears. His body would move in close to her, side stepping and bringing his body around to be side by side with Twig, on her left. She would tell him that he had been a grandfather, no matter how tough a face he would wear, the man could not block the faint tears that began to form in his eyes. "Shhh, it's okay." His voice was gentle, wanting to be soothing for his daughter, almost as if she would shatter to pieces should he speak too loud. The man's body would carefully lower to the earth beside his daughter, warm flesh pressing against her own side, his neck wrapping around her own while his skull gently lay atop hers but not putting it's weight down. "Daddy's here now." The girl might have been two now, but in his eyes, she was still a baby, his little girl. All of his children were his babies, no matter how much they disliked this caring side of him. His right paw would reach over and lay over Twig's, his tail swinging over to lay atop her own. He would be there for her, a shoulder to cry on, someone to comfort her should her usual friend wasn't around. Even if he didn't voice it, the man would silently tell his daughter to speak her mind, to dump whatever she was feeling onto him. He would listen and he would try to comfort her, even if it meant laying here all day beside Twig. "normal. speech. thought. you."

He would quickly come to envelope her in warmth, his slightly musky scent would fill her nostrils as she leaned into his touch. Grey fur would mingle with white as her father lowered himself to the ground next to her. His soothing voice would shush her concerns, bring emotion to his eyes that she would have rarely seen in him. He would feel the loss as she did, a lost child to her and to him. Her eyes would fall shut once more as the large male would easily ease her tremors, a relief of having her parent back would overtake the woman's senses. He was here, but just a kiss upon her wound would not so easily mend her broken heart. "It hurts, dad. More than I ever thought I could hurt." she would whimper as she curled tighter into his side. "I feel like I failed her," she would feel her tears resurfacing as she confessed such sins to her father. "There's a hole in my chest and it doesn't feel like it will ever close." her voice was like a breath as she clung to her father's side.?

She would begin, telling Deviant that it hut more than she ever thought she could hurt, her whimper making his heart clench. He would try to curl around her small frame, tail moving past hers to wrap around her hindlegs, back arching into hers. Twig would go on to spill out her thoughts and feelings, she felt like she had failed her daughter, and he had to watch as tears resurfaced in her eyes. To lose a child was a very painful thing to deal with, and the man knew it very well, he had lost a child as well from the first litter his love produced. Unlike his daughter however, it was out of love that the children were created... but even if the little pup lived on, it would have been loved like everyone else. A hole in the chest that felt like it would never heal... ?Life can be cruel sometimes darling, but one thing is for sure, you did not fail your child.? Though voice was gentle, it would hold a firmness to let his daughter know that he truly felt she didn't fail the pup. He pulled his head off the top of her own, giving her a soft kiss on the nose. With a heavy breath he would look down at Twig's paws, his own gently rubbing the top of her left one. "Even if the pup isn't here with us physically, he or she will always be here in spirit, and will never be forgotten." He would lift his gaze in an attempt to meet hers, warm, true love swirling within, meaning every word. He would visit the child between hunts, meetings, any of his duties towards the pack. he'd make sure to place flowers each time he went, even if he had to travel across the lands to find the most beautiful and colorful ones. "normal. speech. thought. you."

He was ever so gentle with her, like a father should be with their child. He would swallow her up within his warmth and comfort shielding her from the evils of the world. Had Lunatik not scattered them maybe she wouldn't have been in such a state. Someone would have been there to protect her, her father, one of her many brothers... But no. She had been forced into the pregnancy and had not been able to fight off the one who had so easily defiled her. Deviant would tell her how cruel the world could be, and she certainly knew it. She felt like it had decided to dump all of its misfortune squarely onto her shoulders. He would assure her that it had not been she that failed her child. With a gentle kiss he would tell her that her daughter was still with them in spirit, and Twig knew he was right. How else would the sweet child have been able to appear in her dream? "She." the girl would look into her father's saddened amber eyes, "Her name was Fern." Twig would do her best to hold his gaze, her red rimmed eyes clinging to the sorrow they held within.?

She, Deviant would have had a granddaughter and despite the father, she would have been a beautiful princess. Fern was her name, only adding to the child's beauty. The man couldn't stand the sorrow in his daughter's eyes, and so he would bring his right foreleg up and wrap it around her, his left one moving in over her left leg to bring her into a tight yet gentle, caring embrace. ?She would have grown up to be as beautiful as her mother.? He whispered in her ear, lips pulling in a small smile. ?I would have probably had to chase so many boys off, thinking they could woo her.? He wanted to get her to smile, even if it was very small. A low, soft rumbling laugh forming in his gut, traveling up his his throat and coming out as a light chuckle. Eyes would quickly narrow, a sigh escaping his lips as he pressing his head gently into Twig's. "In a way love, I went through the same thing you have." Tones were quiet, just barely over a whisper, gaze falling to stare at his daughter's nose. "Your mother and I had a litter before the one you were born from, Lunatik coming from this... but he wasn't the only child to be born." He paused, the memories of what happened that horrible night flashing in his mind, the cries, screams, so much fear... Mystic killed by the fangs of their own son. The children didn't know about the other pup that came out with Lunatik, the thought of his other son brought too much pain. "Lunatik had a brother born beside him, but when he came out he had no heart beat... not even a whimper." The only difference between him and his daughter, him and Mystic loved each other, and had at least one pup survive. Poor Fern was create from a crime, and had no siblings, a single lonely soul. "Your mother was so torn, unable to let go of his still body. It felt as though our hearts were shattered, and I had to force him away from your mother while the healer gave her herbs to calm down." Throat had tightened speaking of the son he had lost so long ago, a single tear running down his cheek as he gripped his daughter a little tighter. "The hole in your chest may never fully heal, but friends and family can help ease the pain." "normal. speech. thought. you."

Her sire would wrap her up within his embrace, holding her close as he did what he could to cheer her up. His voice was a whisper as he began to talk about her so easily, teasing her with talk of what should have been. instead of growing cold towards the conversation Twig would bring herself to enjoy the moment. Trying to force herself to live it with her father, even though it would never be true. She would surround herself with the thought of all of Fern's suitors coming to their door, while her father would promptly shoo them off. He would chuckle lightly, and being so consumed by such thoughts Twig would feel a slight smile form on her features before he would continue. He would bring himself to confess to her an older brother, one who had died just as Fern did. He would transport them with his words yet again, bringing her to her mother's grief. She would feel him pull her closer, she couldn't imagine losing her son and her mate. She would feel the tear drip down into her fur, a silent reminder of the hurt he too had felt. His speech finishing with the hope that her pain would be eased by those that loved her. "I'm glad you're back dad, it's been so hard with out you and mom. I miss her so much." she would breathe as they lay there holding each other. Why must they be put through such hardships? She was just thankful that they were together again.?

Nothing else had to be said between the two, both seemed to understand each other's heartbreak, and also could help. Lips pulled back into a small smile at his daughter's words, saying that she was glad he was back, that it had been hard without him and her mother... that she missed her to much. "Me too darling, but don't worry, I will be here for you from now on. Just a howl away." He comforted her, kissing her once again on the cheek and holding her against his body. Now that he knew where two of his children were, the man would attempt to be around more for them while also searching for the others, not wanting to be gone for too long in case something were to happen to her and Jinxx. Speaking of him. Deviant would pull away the slightest, his grip on Twig loosened to allow her to move around. "Lady Erani told me Jinxx was also residing here in Valhalla, is he still here?" He asked curiously, tones taking on a more calm mood, the tears seeming to quickly vanish from his face. "Have you two found any of your siblings while here?" "normal. speech. thought. you."

She would feel greatful that the world had placed with her a father who had already been through similar hardships as her. Her own mother, the she wolf Twig thought could do no wrong, who could never fail, had also birthed a still born child. Through the awful tragedies the cross marked girl would come to feel closer to her mother. Though it would bring her sadness to have such in common with her mother it would somehow bring her comfort. "I wish mom was here. I wish I could talk to her, but I'm comforted to know that Fern is with her now." still tears would linger unhindered within her shimmering orbs. He would assure her gently that she need not search for another to cure her woes, all she had to do was call for him. She would blissfully enjoy his kiss as he shifted to take in her features. He would ask of Jinxx. "Yes he's here, we share a den. Before I got to Valhalla I had found Angel, but I haven't seen her since before I became pregnant. I've seen paradox, and Divinity only one though paradox has been more recently." she would snuggle into his side further, enjoying his warm side. "Also another family member. His name is Pulsus and he bears the cross. I'd never seen him before, but he seems to be about lunatik's age." she would grow a bit quieter, "he was with me the day I was attacked."

The mention of her mother would bring a small pain to the man's heart, he missed his love greatly as well, and some nights he could barely sleep, the last moments of her life playing through his mind of that horrible day. Deviant would push it aside immediately, this moment was for his daughter, to comfort her. ?Me too darling, but just remember, she is always with us, we just have to listen closely... She will be delighted to meet Fern.? He nuzzled her cheek gently, only lasting a second or two before pulling away. Now neither would be lonely, the two females had each other up in the stars, they could watch their family, and joke around. Twig informed her father that Jinxx was indeed here, and that they shared a den. That would explain his scent in her fur. Before she arrived in Valhalla she had found Angel, but hasn't seen her since before she became pregnant, Paradox was spotted as well as Divinity, but only once while Paradox was around more. With her leaning into his touch, the man would lean into her, body wanting to wrap around the girl and protect from further harm the world had to offer. Someone else would be mentioned, ears perking up to listen. Another family member named Pulsus... brows came together in a bit of confusion, not recognizing the name as part of the family, even though the wolf bore a cross like them. Deviant would go deep into thought about this, wondering who this wolf could be, Twig never saw him before, and he seemed to be around Lunatik's age. Who was he? Certainly he couldn't be the other pup that died beside Lunatik when they were born. What would bother him more about it was that Twig mentioned he was with her the day she was attacked. Quickly his eyes would narrow and he would try to move around to look his daughter in the eyes, a seriousness and protective side of him showing. ?Did he hurt you Twig?? "normal. speech. thought. you."