Her pregnancy ended at abruptly as it began, and her two children had not survived. They were gone, empty shells of what could have been, and they would never get the chance to see the world. What a beautiful world they were missing. Her two little sons would never see a sunrise. They would never chase butterflies or dance in the water or even see their own mother. Adelaide had never thought herself to be the sentimental type. Her world revolved around healing others, but sometimes that could involve injury and death. Sometimes you had to be stoic. This was not one of those times.

When the snowy woman first discovered that she was pregnant, she was terrified. She was ashamed. She wished they didn't exist. How nice that her wish came true. She had spent the morning curled around their small, lifeless forms, and then she had gone and buried them by the lake. They rested side by side under a beautiful green willow tree. Then she had returned to her den only to keep to herself for three days, sobbing and feeling the pain of their absence.

Then today, at last, something changed inside of her. She woke up that morning with a newly healed scar, and her eyes were finally dry. Adelaide left her den and went to the lake, picking a fresh orange lily on her way. She would visit her children and say goodbye one last time, and then her life would march on.

OOC: She's a little sad, but I need a friendly member of Ebony to talk to her. I'm fine with anyone. But I need to get this little healer active in the pack again, and this is her form of closure. So come one, come all... :)

P.S. The song that the title is based off of... It's really sad so don't listen if you're prone to crying like I am. Also, don't read this and listen at the same time, unless you're masochistic.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kxVUee4WsoA

"SPEECH"

If there was anyone in Ebony that could help cheer you up or bring your mood rather rapidly to one of irritation that girl was Isidora Koval. Katja was in charge now though it hadn't really changed things all that much for Isi, the girl was still rather idle, doing enough to avoid getting kicked out, demoted or told off frequently though fortunately here at least they all seemed to understand her goofy personality simply meant she would never be a great hunter, healer or fighter for the pack. She was simply there as a number, an extra hand every now and then.



Now she certainly wasn't doing much to help the pack. Truth be told the girl was bored, perhaps a sign that she ought to put herself to use though Isi certainly didn't feel like working. What exactly she wanted to do she had no idea though it certainly wasn't work and so in the mean time, the girl would simply wander hoping that something would jump out at her. And then it did.



So Adelaide didn't actually jump out though she happened to cross the path of Isi at either a good or bad moment depending on how you looked at it. It had been quite some time since she had seen the healer and so now Isi would make her way towards her. "Ooh, that's a pretty flower." She would begin simply, suddenly drawing up to the white woman's side. "What does it do? Is someone in trouble?" Isi was hardly the sort of person you really wanted accompanying you if there was trouble but given how long it'd been since she'd seen the healer out automatically she'd assume that someone needed healing and perhaps this wonderful plant would be the cure they needed.

by eve

The woman would continue to walk, her steps slow and deliberate. The pretty orange flower dangled limply from her jaws. She had almost reached the willow tree when a voice piped up from behind her. The white maiden instantly recognized the youthful tone. "Good morning, Isidora," Adelaide greeted, her voice empty and flat. Hopefully the other maiden wouldn't notice the difference. Her first comment was barely registered, but Adelaide made an effort to listen as she continued to speak. She seemed to think that the orange lily was some sort of herbal plant. "No, my dear," she chuckled bleakly. "This flower holds no medicinal qualities. I'll explain in a moment, if you would be so kind as to wait here?" Blue eyes would address the lady briefly before she looked away again, moving slowly toward the tree. Toward the burial spot of her two young pups. The snowy woman sank to her haunches in front of the freshly dug earth, sighing miserably as she did so. Her scar may have been healed this morning, but it took all of her strength not to cry as she stared at their resting place. Get it over with quickly, she told herself. Make a clean break and move on. And so she did. Adelaide placed the flower tenderly on the grave, whispering a broken goodbye to them before turning away. She then hurried away from the tree and came back to stand near Isidora. No tears were visible, but her sadness was. The Ebony healer took a deep breath and prepared to explain, as she had promised. "There was a miscarriage," she began. "My two sons didn't survive their birth. So I buried them there, under the willow tree. The flower was... to honor them, I suppose. I'm trying to... to move on now." Adelaide let out a shaky breath. Her eyes stung terribly, but they stayed dry. For now, at least. "Does that make sense, Isidora?" She was asking because she needed the closure. She needed to know that what she was doing made some sense. Someone needed to tell her that everything would be okay. "SPEECH"

Isi would cringe slightly at the use of her full name, the girl certainly disliked it and had no idea where Adelaide had even gotten the idea to use it from in the first place. Come to think of it, she'd never actually introduced herself to the healer, names had just been picked up from others within the pack so that meant someone else was the criminal here going around and telling others to call her Isidora. Well she could correct it for one of those innocents now, not that she even knew if there were anymore who didn't know her name preference currently. "Just Isi, not Isidora." She would comment, though a small smile remained on her features, no hard feelings for Adelaide.



So the plant wasn't to heal someone? Oh, what was it for then she had to wait. She wasn't entirely certain that she liked that idea but she would pause all the same. Curiously looking in the direction that Adelaide continued in and attempting to work out where she had gone and more importantly why she had to stay here? She would take a couple of steps after a while and freeze when she realised Adelaide was returning, making a rather poor attempt of acting nonchalant as her gaze suddenly diverted towards the sky and then mocked a small surprise to see Adelaide returning as she glanced back towards the healer. "Oh hey Addi, did you see that cloud up there? It's fluffy." There was a slight pause between the words 'that' and 'cloud' and another between 'it's' and 'fluffy' and she tried to find some sort of distraction. Nicely covered she thought.



Adelaide however didn't look quite so happy however and Isi would feel slightly guilty for a moment, ears would fall back towards her skull as she watched the other woman and then an explanation would begin. Miscarriage? Oh yeah, she'd forgotten about the healer's pregnancy actually, that would explain the lack of extra kids running around. Oh dear, that can't have been a good experience for her. It made sense though, she may have acted like an idiot but the girl had more of an understanding about some things than she actually let on. She had never experienced loss before though really, and certainly couldn't imagine how the other felt. "Sorry to hear that." She stated, her voice softer than normal as she offered her sympathies.

by evelyn

She would cock her head to the side, briefly thrown off by the woman's attempt at nonchalance. It didn't matter much to her what the lady was trying to cover up. She wasn't upset, not by something as small as that. Adelaide would also try to note the correction that was made. "My apologies, Isi... and I'll try to remember that for next time." It was nice, actually, how brief the condolences were. She didn't want any sympathetic words. It didn't erase the past, after all. So the woman gave a kind nod to Isidora - or rather, Isi - as the words were shared. "It's quite alright, well actually it isn't but you know what I mean," Adelaide stuttered out. She didn't want to think about it anymore, so her words came out rushed and strained. "Maybe we can walk away from here now, if that's okay with you." Then she was quickly retreating from the willow tree, black-tipped tail flicking nervously behind her. She would not cry. No. Not in front of another. Fortunately, as soon as the two had covered some distance, the feeling passed. The healer then decided to make a bit of small talk, a smile plastered to her face. "So, what have you been up to lately? Any new friends? Have you decided to learn more about healing?" The maiden remembered seeing her at the lesson she had held. Or was that only polite interest? "SPEECH"

Isi would smile slightly as she acknowledged the correction and promised to try and remember. That was one down and the next stage would be to solve the mystery as to who was introducing her constantly as Isidora. Of course if all took it well like Adelaide here then there was no trouble really other than the fact she had to correct them in the first place but those thoughts would be banished from her mind for now as she concentrated on the company at hand at the present.



Loss was certainly something it seemed that could dampen the girl's usually lively demeanour. She was definitely a little calmer now, no response given to Adelaide's confusing acceptance of her sympathies. She understood it of course and so only a small nod of her head was given in response to signify this fact. Truth be told she wasn't entirely sure what to say, a part of her longed to return to some sort of normality in her behaviour though with Adelaide so sad Isi simply couldn't think of anything apart from feeling bad for the woman.



Adelaide would suggest that they move and this time a slightly more enthusiastic nod was given. She had yet to fully get back to herself just as Adelaide hadn't yet fought through her own emotions but the two were getting there, and each step taken away from the willow having a good effect on Adelaide which was certainly rubbing off on Isi as well. Eventually more questions would be asked and the girl would think for a moment before she answered. "Nothing." She responded somewhat disappointedly, she had been rather bored as of late. "No new friends, not really. I did meet this one guy called Fao or something, he was upset about losing one of his friends but I ain't seen him since." Perhaps she should go find him again, see if he'd cheered up at all or needed a friend, only she had no idea where to look.



As for the healing though, that'd only receive a small shrug. Honestly the girl had little desire to progress with things all that much. She wasn't very good, a fact she was aware of and doubted anyone really wanted her to be the one to help them in any sort of area really. And she was fine with that, learning all that stuff really didn't interest her, she did only attend the lessons out of politeness even if sometimes it was probably best for all that she wasn't there at all, she could be a little distracted at times after all and not in a quiet manner either sometimes. "I dunno." She would respond truthfully. "I ain't too good at healing, all those plants and things I can't remember which is which anyway." Perhaps trying to learn more would be the best way but her mind simply couldn't focus enough on staring at a flower to try to bother. "Plenty of other healers in the pack though so I don't need to do it."

by evelyn

Adelaide would try her best to genuinely listen as the other woman spoke. Luckily, it wasn't hard. Isidora wasn't the type to speak in riddles, nor was she the type to keep silent for long. The snowy dame was relieved when the chatter went on for a while, and she put on a real smile as she took it all in. She hadn't made any new friends lately, but had spoken briefly with a male named Fao or something. That name didn't sound familiar, so Adelaide just nodded along as she continued to speak. Isidora didn't seem to be interested in healing after all. Too much memorization. "I understand that," she said. "I have a hard time keeping everything straight myself. But after you've been learning about it your whole life, it comes naturally." Isidora went on to point out that Ebony already had plenty of wolves with interest in healing, so she wasn't really needed. Adelaide frowned a bit at that. "That doesn't mean we don't need your help elsewhere. Is there anything you are interested in?"

After taking those moments to continue the small talk, Adelaide turned forward and focused her blue eyes on the scenery ahead. Her terrible loss had made her notice the beautiful things, like the way the sun was shining on the grass today, its rays caught and then thrown about in the small droplets of dew. She noticed the birds singing in the trees. She noticed the sky. As miserable as she was about her children dying, she had to thank them for making her this way. It was because of them that she now treasured each moment. Life was short. She had to live it.

As these thoughts were cycling through her mind, her deep sapphire eyes had accidentally skirted across the lake itself. That's when an idea struck her. Things were warming up here in Ebony as spring showed its colorful face. An activity like this one could quickly take her mind off of things... "Hey Isi," the maiden began, turning and wagging her tail behind her. "Do you want to go swimming?"

"SPEECH"

She sought to seek the woman out, to see how the birthing had gone. She knew of Adelaide?s pregnancy, but not of the sad tale that accompanied it. She did not know the woman?s children did not make it. The gray girl would move along, ears perked as her faded blue eyes sought the form of the older woman. She was searching for her, nose twitching as she followed the scents of the air. There were two, one being Adelaide?s and the other belonging to another Ebony member.

Lior would find them walking, and the gray girl would bound up to Adelaide?s side, gently brushing against the other?s side. But the girl would notice then that something was wrong. She could feel the sadness, the somber feeling that was washed over the two of them. She would give Adelaide a gentle smile, however, wanting to cheer the woman up.

?It?s a beautiful day for spring, isn?t it? The warm weather sure feels nice after winter.? Whatever was on her mind the girl wanted to distract her and give her some reason to smile. Hopefully Isidora would help with that as well. Lior would give the other girl a little smile. ?Hiya Isi.? She remembered seeing the other girl at the healer training, and had hopes that maybe they could become friends as they worked alongside each other as healers.

The main problem of course wasn't an abundance of healers or lack of anything else, purely that Isi simply didn't have the patience or willpower to master any particular skill. The girl simply wanted to have fun, enjoy life and these careful studies were simply too much work for her to take seriously. Out of respect she would attend the lessons, though it'd be lucky for even half of the knowledge to remain in her brain.



Fortunately there was no reason to answer, Adelaide would suddenly come up with an idea that was far more appealing to Isi. Swimming, now that sort of activity she could certainly get on board with. Before she had the chance to respond however, another wolf would approach them and Isi would turn her orange eyes to look towards the other. "Hello." She would respond with a friendly greeting of her own. "Lets all go swimming" She wouldn't give Lior the chance to answer or comment on the matter herself. The cheerier mood of Adelaide and the presence of another was enough to bring Isi back to her usual ways it seemed. "Last one there's a rotten egg!" She would chant as she took off towards the lake, certainly cheating with her head start.

by evelyn