She?d inhale sharply as the heat of the day would wake her from her fitful sleep. A sigh would follow, her listless form coming into full wakefulness Her bright blue eyes would blink back the sunlight that filtered through the den, her mind trying to stay blank but the memories would quickly return. She?d whimper slightly before realising Ara was beside her, she was the most stable of comforts to her right now. Her mother and brother were there too, but they were trying to run the pack and she knew they couldn?t always be with her. Still, it was hard to not be by herself. Elohim would accompany her when Ara was with her new brother, they did their best to keep her in their company. She didn?t want to find out what it was like to be alone. Her features would nuzzle into Ara?s neck, she?d yet to tell the othe rgirl, but she?d never have to. Elohim told her that everyone knew, and now more than ever she had a fear of seeing the boy again. They?d learned what he?d done, and none of them would be safe.

Novel's words were still fresh in her mind. 'I can't say,' was all she had told her when asked what had happened, making Ara feel like she'd been threatened to keep what had happened a secret. She was grateful Elohim had told her, but part of her wondered if she had a mistake. No -- keeping Novel safe could never be a mistake. She had to keep telling herself that. The very idea of someone harming someone of Ludicael -- or, Sawtooth, as the pack had been renamed -- was troubling and needed to be public knowledge. Even if there would be consequences, they would all face them together. She roused from sleep as Novel whimpered at her side. Quickly her eyes would open, adrenaline coursing through her veins instantly. Her father had always been a light sleeper, and she was quickly following in his footsteps. The slightest movement from Novel would bring her into a panic, images of her being attacked flooding her mind more frequently than she knew how to handle. A brief look around the den told her that they were safe and alone, and she let a soft sigh slide from parted jaws as she pressed closer against Novel. 'You are safe here,' she wanted to tell her so badly. 'I love you and I will never let anyone hurt you again.' The thoughts would not be voiced aloud, but remain in her own head, but she did lean to nuzzle into Novel's neck. "Did you sleep okay?" she would inquire warmly, her eyes flooding with concern as she searched her face.

Ara would awaken in no time, her alertness coming to her almost instantly as her panicked features rose from her paws. Novel knew no way to wake her up without surprising her so she hadn?t really tried. As soon as her friend knew the coast was clear she would sigh with relief, the stress melting from her as she pushed closer to Novel. The white girl would feel the touch spread a warmth over her, there was a feeling of safety that came with the touch and she? relax. She?d take the nuzzle and lean into the other girl?s touch before she pulled back again, their blue eyes meeting. Novel felt weird when the other?s touched her. Even her own mother?s gentle kisses caused a panic within her. Though she would appreciate their presence, Ara?s was the only touch that calmed her jumpy reactions. It was all involuntary of course, her reaction to being violated so easily. Lel had hurt her in more ways than one, and she was only beginning the road to recovery. It didn?t help that she was beginning to think there would be another hurdle before her. It hadn?t taken long for her scent to change again. She knew very well that she should have been expecting such consequences all along but she was loathe to say it. She?d try and ignore the facts and hope that her troubles would just disappear. She wanted to go back to what she?d been before. Not this frightened husk of a wolf. "I guess. Better than yesterday, but the nightmares are still so vivid." she would shiver, the nightmares were easy to deal with. The thought of potentially being a mother was not. ""

Novel's scent had been alluring to her in ways she felt confused by -- but it seemed the intoxicating aroma had faded soon after. Part of her knew what was happening, but she would deny it vehemently, not wanting to face the gravity of the situation. Even still, she found her body wanting to be close to Novel's, and she was happy when the girl relaxed at her touch. It was her instinct to want to find herbs that might help soothe the pain, to help her relax, anything at all; but she knew only time would ease the pain. 'Better than yesterday, but the nightmares are still so vivid.' It was no surprise, but she still had to stifle a whimper from leaving her throat. She instinctively wanted to help take away the pain and the nightmares. Was there anything more she could do for her other than simply be there for her whenever possible? Ara was grateful that Elohim stayed with Novel whenever she had to leave, but she was equally as grateful that he left them alone sometimes, too. Perhaps it was greedy to want Novel all to herself sometimes, but right now she really didn't want to be interrupted by anyone else. It felt selfish, but she couldn't help it as she breathed in her friend's scent deeply. "I'm sorry," she would offer softly. It was not her fault, but she still felt that heavy guilty nonetheless, and taking some of the blame herself seemed to help her rationalize it more easily. "How are you feeling though? Physically?" Shifting, she would pull away ever so slightly to press her nose to the back of Novel's neck. The wounds there were healing nicely, but she knew that didn't mean the pain had subsided fully.

Eventually they would no longer be able to deny the truth of the matter, right now Novel was doing well to keep the thoughts from her mind. Ara?s presence would help, she was a welcome distraction to the terrible thoughts that would race through her mind. She felt like less of a shell with the girl around, and she couldn?t honestly say she enjoyed having her by her side. Elohim would be out, taking a rest from his watch, and Novel would not deny the subtle enjoyment she could feel with the alone time she got with Ara. She would apologize for the dreams that were happening, but obviously it was not her fault. Novel?s features would swivel as she tried to rid her friend of the feeling, but she couldn?t imagine ever blaming her for what had happened. Ara would continue though, her nose moving to nuzzle the teeth marks that marred her scruff. She?d stifle a whine at the touch, trying to black out what she?d be reminded of. This touch was so much different to the way she?d been restrained. Ara?s touch held nothing but love and affection. "Worse." She?d answer the question easily, she hadn?t noticed until that moment how nauseous she?d become. "I think I?ll be sick," with that little warning she would rush from the den, determined not to soil her home. ""

Was love supposed to be so painful? It was terrible to sit and to watch Novel suffer, and to know that she was not doing well despite her own constant companionship. There was nothing that could help cure this pain but time, and she certainly could not speed it up. Silent would engulf her as she leaned her head against Novel's side, content for the moment to inhale her scent, both familiar and comforting to her. It was all she could do to spend time with her -- at least, as much time as she possibly could while also caring for her parents and their newborn son. She felt Novel flinch at her touch, involuntarily, but she relaxed quickly. The wounds on her neck were healing fine, but were still sore and needed to be cleaned regularly. 'Worse,' she suddenly answered, and Ara felt her ears flatten against her skull. Quickly the girl would rise, and without hesitation she followed her from the den. The fact that she had suddenly gotten sick wasn't a good thing to begin with, but she was beginning to wonder if the worse was happening -- was Novel pregnant? A whine fell from her lips as she pressed her nose to Novel's cheek. "Can I do anything for you?" she asked quietly, tongue sliding from between her jaws to caress her face tenderly. "Should I get someone?"

The black and white she wolf knew not what she did to her best friend, she couldn?t see how she shared the pain she felt. All she knew was that now she was very uncertain she?d make it to recovery without Ara at her side. She felt closer to her, especially now, than to anyone else within her family or pack. Still she was close to her mother and siblings, yet still Ara was there with her now. No other wolf had provided her anywhere close to the same amount of support. Even now, as the contents of her stomach were emptied onto the dirt Ara was by her side, making sure she was going to be alright. She?d lean into her touch, breathing a bit heavier after she?d heaved up her lunch. She?d gently kiss the warm flesh and Novel would sigh, unsure if she wanted anyone but Ara with her then. "No, I just want to feel you next to me." Her voice was quiet, unsure as she let her eyes look back towards her companion. "Just, tell me it?s going to be okay." She?d squeak, so unsure of the future and what it would bring. ""

Perhaps she ought to tell someone how she felt about Novel. She didn't know how her father might react. She knew he dreamed of seeing more grandchildren, and Ara wasn't sure she ever wanted to have children of her own -- and she certainly would not be having them if her attention was captured by a woman. But she wondered, too, if such a confession might be too painful for him to bear. The last thing he needed to be worrying about was her own well-being. And she certainly couldn't tell Novel. She was fearful that it would change the comfortable friendship they shared, and she couldn't risk upsetting or otherwise confusion Novel when she was already in such a poor shape. Quietly she could continue to lap at Novel's cheek, seemingly unphased by the fact that she was being ill right beside her. 'No, I just want to feel you next to me,' she told her softly. The words held a strange sort of affection that made her feel a gentle fluttering in her belly . She couldn't help but feel guilty at how much she treasured those words, and she heard Novel's gentle voice echo in her head even after she stopped speaking. "I can do that," she told her with a small smile. Though her gaze was filled with worry and concern, the adoration she felt for Novel was painfully obvious. "It will be okay. I'll do everything in my power to make sure of that." Another kiss was offered to the side of her face, a barely audible whimper leaving her lips. She would seek to come closer to her, pressing her shoulder against Novel's as she gazed at her. "Novel..." she would begin, ears twitching slightly before flattening against her skull. "Can you tell me... are you going to have children?" It seemed so obvious, but only now had she realized it could quite easily be true, but she knew they would have to face reality eventually.

Novel knew how life was supposed to be done, she knew that to have a family of her own she?d need to find a mate. Especially now, after her encounter with Lel she would become nervous simply at the thought. Though there were many males in her life, many had betrayed and hurt her. If she was honest with herself the mere thought of a male counterpart brought fear to her mind. Yet, the thought of being with Ara would not yet cross her mind, she would feel a sense of companionship already and the girl meant the world to her. Though she hadn?t felt as close to her as she did now. Novel would find comfort in Ara?s smile, a feeling she thought for a moment had been totally lost to her. "It will be okay. I'll do everything in my power to make sure of that." She?d feel herself lean into the comforting touch, letting herself enjoy the sweet gesture and close proximity. She?d let herself be distracted by the bliss, however her placid thoughts would not be left undisturbed for long. Had she been any other wolf she might have noticed sooner, caught the small symptoms much earlier. It was likely her mind was still trying to protect itself, she would ignore such signs until Ara would ask. "Can you tell me... are you going to have children?" Her reluctance was obvious in her apologetic demeanor, as the words left her lips Novel would mirror her features. Now that she?d said it, the reality would wash over her. She would whine, shaking her head as though to rid herself of the thought. She didn?t want to admit it. "Yes," she?d cry. So unsure of herself, yet sure that she was at the same time. ""

Perhaps the best thing to do would be to ignore her feelings entirely. For some reason, she doubted Novel could reciprocate her feelings -- if she truly was falling in love with her. It might just be better to be there for her, as she had been since she had come to live here, and deal with her own feelings later. It would feel selfish to focus on herself when Novel was obviously suffering still. A gentle sigh left her lips as she leaned into her friend -- how badly she craved to touch her more, to embrace her more fully and with more fervor. She would settle, instead, for placing tender kisses to the side of her face, wanting her to know that Ara would keep her as safe as she possibly could. It seemed she was turning into a fine caretaker; she enjoyed helping Novel, whether it was just being company for her, and she had always been happy to take care of her parents too. It was painful to watch the realization appear in Novel's soft gaze. They had both avoided thinking about it, but it couldn't be ignored for much longer. "It's okay," she'd assure her quickly, moving to press her nose to Novel's neck as though to stop her head from shaking. "You will be a wonderful mother." The words came quickly and she nearly gasped at how easily she had told her that. What if Novel didn't want the children at all? Certainly she would not abandon them, but she knew someone else within Sawtooth or even Threar would watch over the children as their own if she didn't want to. "I mean.. if you want that." Who knew what Novel was thinking? She wondered if she's spoken too brashly and she let an apologetic whine escape her throat, wrapping her muzzle around Novel's back to pull her closer.

Ara?s sweet kisses would help to distract her from the distress she felt, still she would have to face the challenge head on. Something horrible had happened to her, and now she would face child birth. She wanted to be stronger than this but all she felt was fear. She?d never really imagined herself having babies, she?d seen enough births to have a healthy dose of adversion to such things. But now here she was, facing pregnancy. She?d let herself be comforted by Ara?s gentle words and tender touch, mismatched ears would cling to her skull as she tried to push the thoughts away. Still, the way Ara had said the word mother she knew that the unintentional responsibility would remain hers. She didn?t want to see herslef as a single mother, but she knew that her family would be there to help with whatever was needed of her. Though her companion would also mention the opposing options, she didn?t have to be the one to raise them. Really she didn?t think that could ever be an option, still she would be comforted knowing that Ara would not judge her for such actions. The Destruction girl would shake her head and push her head under Ara?s chin, letting her know that she didn?t need to feel bad about what she?d said. "I should keep them. But I?m afraid Ara, what if he comes back for them?" it would be her turn to whine, out of fear and complete uncertainty for the future of her litter. ""

Again, she knew that the only thing to ease Novel's worries about having children would be time. She would truly be an incredible mother -- she was gentle and kind and loving, and Ara had no doubts that she would treat her children perfectly. Not only would Ara be willing to help with the actual birth, but also in taking care of her children if she needed a break. She was certainly getting plenty of practice with Steel. She couldn't even imagine being in Novel's position though. Despite the fact that she had always been responsible, and had always been partially a caretaker for her parents, it was difficult to think of what she would do if she were to have children of her own. It was scary; it was all she could do to try to comfort Novel repeatedly, burying her nose into her friend's fur as she spoke. 'I should keep them,' she told her, but also voiced her fears that Lel would return for them. It hadn't sounded like an attack motivated by the need for offspring, but what did she know? A soft sigh left her lips. "I wouldn't let him take them," she said, her voice much more confident than she felt. "And neither would anyone in your family. They will be yours and nobody will change that." Since the attack, she knew Song in particular had been especially attentive to outsiders intruding on pack territory, and she knew that her vigilance in protecting her daughter would only strengthen when she actually gave birth. I can help you though, you know," Ara would suggest softly. "I mean, I'll make sure they are always fed and safe. I can spend time with them when you need a break." The woman didn't know what kind of involvement Novel saw her as having, but she knew she wouldn't let her friend struggle alone.

Ara had already done so much for Novel, she?d taken care of her through the sinkness, through the attack, and now she very much obviously wanted to be their for the birth and her children?s lives. Novel was, for the first time, unsure about letting her continue this kindness. She had her own family, her parents and younger brother, that she very much should have been looking after. And yet, as Novel was caught up in various misfortunes would still be at her side. Still, she didn?t want her to stop. Novel depended on her presence, her comforting touch and careful paw. She didn?t know what she would do without the girl by her side. Even now as her nuzzles were felt and her words were heard Novel would cling to those comforts like her life depended on them. Ara was holding her together. She would whisper in to her ear, exactly what she planned to do. She would not let Lel take her babies, and even more she would vow to care for them as well. "You?d do that for me? Ara you?ve already given me so much of you and your time, I can?t.. How can I accept so much kindness?" She?d feel tears well up in her eyes in wonder at how much Ara was willing to help. She would bury her face into the other girl?s neck, she really would be so lost without her. ""

The unshakable urge to tell Novel what she had suddenly realized was heavy on her heart, but she knew it was not the time. Perhaps it might be a confession best kept to herself, as confused as she was already; time might only worsen it. A very slight smile would touch her lips as she nuzzled into her, happy to continue the contact between them so long as she felt Novel relax at her touch. "Of course I would," she admitted in slight disbelief. Why would she stop now? Ara knew how to help care for children -- even if mostly from watching, and not experience -- and she was already practicing with Steel, her youngest brother. Even if it would be difficult, she knew it took more than a set of parents to raise a child, and this one only had Novel. It was best when children were raised by an entire family, and Ara knew she could assist in that in some way, even if she was not family by blood. "Just accept it," she told her, soft voice laced with something akin to playfulness. There was no need for tears now -- there had been far too many in the last season. Gently she would nudge Novel's neck, pushing her face away from her own neck to lap at the tears on her cheeks. "You can't get rid of me that easily." The idea of losing Novel was a painful one, and something she hadn't begun to consider yet. Perhaps that was the best reason to keep her private realization to herself for now.