The rain had made the orchard much cooler than it usually is during the summer. The girl had lost destruction during a storm one night, unable to find her. Though with lost hope in all emotions she would come to the orchard. The blue eyed woman would sit and give a sigh. That was how life went, ever since she left Syrinx after the death match her heart had returned to a dark state. Remembering everything that had thrown her for a loop in her life. Things we,'re getting better, with azalea. Arian only hoped they didn't go downhill again.

The girl would stick out her tongue to feel the sprinkling of the rain. It was hard to scent in this since the storm. And what was on her mind was how sarak was doing honestly. He didn't die thank the gods, but somehow she felt served about the whole ordeal azalea had gone through. Her cousin was important to her, and she didn't know her that well. Yet she wanted to know her more, and in due time she would. Hopefully.

The woman felt that just when things started to settle down again things were just... not all there. The storm that seemed to take hold of Alacritia reminded her far too much of the hurricane that cost her eye. Of the night she was separated from Arian... right before she fell ill with the epidemic. Destruction closed his good eye, breathing in and out, as she leaned against a tree. The rains that came in the orchard made it cooler... but soon enough things would truly begin to get colder. That thought had Destruction thinking again. Worrying with all of the changes. Soon... this would be the new home of the family. But Bane... how long did the elder have? He was so gray now... and... Destruction shuddered. The thought of losing him hurt. Perhaps more than it should have. There was no doubt that Destruction still had some feelings for the man. But they were not the same as a mated pair would have. No, her love for him was different than Tahlia's love for him. But Destruction would weep, oh how she would weep when he was lost. She had lost so many over time. It was amazing to the dark woman how she found happiness again with the family. Even met another man that she felt comfortable around. Perhaps moreso than she had even around Aiden. But Destruction felt... something stir. But a loneliness and a bitterness in her heart. If she trusted Deviant, and got close to him, would he not break her heart as well? Would she bear his children, just to have him leave for another woman? To die? Destruction was afraid to love again. Yet she needed to. The woman was not getting younger... and... if she waited much longer it could be too late. Though she needed to make a decision before winter came, Destruction was still hesitant. She would be seven this year... and the year after an elder. But oh how Destruction longed to be a mother. Something she had for the briefest time, in caring for Rohini, in caring for Arian, before their separation. A sigh would leave her, and the large female would limp on through the orchard, taking caution to avoid the other family that lived within. When she had lifted her head, her single orb falling on the flank of the other wolf, Destruction almost wrote her off as a hallucination. As a figment of her imagination, created by longing. Yet, when Des blinked, the other girl was still there. Hesitant. She was hesitant. Her right forepaw would settle on the grass lightly, favored because of the injury she sustained in her alpha fight. The woman would breathe, glancing over her shoulder to where Tahlia, Bane, and the children were. But no... she needed to face them all. Face those she lost... those who might feel she abandoned them... or perhaps it was she who should feel that way. But no, Arian had not. The girl cared for her... the only she could doubt was Aidan at this point. So, with her heart a bit heavy, Destruction would approach. Her ears were lowered, the light in her eye dampened as she neared the girl, slightly off to the left and from behind. She would speak, her voice but a gentle question; "How have you been, Arian?" Speech

Arian wouldn't see the woman at first, but she came into her version. Arian knew she wasn't sick enough to be seeing things, or at least she thought so. Her body would immediately react in a way she could have predicted. Her body raised suddenly and toes splayed out into soggy terrain. It wasn't out of anger, but with her heart rate rising she knew she was freaking out even possibly having an anxiety attack. She had left her, arian had left her and even tried to find her but never did. Arian figured things would work out great. Even with her mother epiphron but her nagging fear was scratching at the newly adult healer. Her head lowered as she started to stagger her breathing taking deep breaths before sitting down again.

"Destruction forgive me, the night that it rained I lost your scent. I couldn't find you so I ran away, and...and then I found my uncle. But he....he's gone now. Every time I try to do something right it crumbled around me. And I'm terrified even now. I'm getting attached again, to my pack to my cousin azalea, but what if someone comes to take them away. And I'm not strong enough to protect them." She poured her heart out to the woman she considered as her second mother. Tears falling from her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm a failure. Everything I do comes down to being torn up. And I'm never strong enough to make sure everyone's alright. You got hurt, and I couldn't do anything." She buried her snout in her paws tail lowered into the orchards plants. She didn't think she would break down like this. Arian never cried, she never had. Wolves who knew her knew this. Even destruction would know, the usually cheerful and bright girl had broken down into tears with all of her hidden fears. All of the weakness that she was terrified of having.

How her heart ached when she saw Arian react to seeing her. How shocked the girl looked, as if she was ready to freak out and break any moment. Destruction would pause, watching her, her single orb saddened, so deeply saddened, and full of worry. Had she made things worse by coming to the young woman? She hoped not, prayed not. But the girl would pour open her heart, and Destruction would listen, feeling her own break with understanding. The dark woman would slowly move, wrapping her body around Arain's own and gently licking her head, much as a mother would to comfort her child. It was an offer Destruction had made once, to consider Arian as such. It had come to pass, truly, and the young girl was part of her extended family. "It is not your fault that I was lost, Arian. I needed some time, and I myself got separated. That is not your fault, so don't you blame yourself for it." Her words were soft, and the dark woman would close her remaining orb as she went on. "I understand that fear, Arian... but... you must not let that fear consume you. I've been in your paws, when I was a young wolfess, and yet, here I am... I might have lost some of those I cared greatly for, but others I have reunited with. Sadly life is full of loss. Things do not go right all the time, and we must bend when the wind blows or risk getting toppled over by it." The female would open her eye again, looking to the younger woman next to her. "Be brave, Arian. Stand up to that fear. Let it know that regardless what happens you won't be truly shaken. That there are those who will always be ready to pick you up. You mustn't be afraid of loss. When you can accept that it is there, will always be, you find that it may be easier to hold onto what you care for." She would give a sad smile. "...and with as strong as you are, I know you can make it through." Destruction would lay her head down on Arian's shoulders, giving a light sigh. "So no, my dear, you are not a failure. Every wolf makes mistakes. It is what makes us mortal. You were able to do more than you realize, young wolfess, by being my support. By being there to help me back on my paws after it all. We must fight our own battles... so there was nothing you could do on that end. But it is thanks to your efforts, in making me realize there was more to live for, to smile for... for standing by me in those dark days that has allowed me to make it to this day. To lay by you now. Arian... without you I would have been lost so long ago. So no, you are no failure... and you never will be." Gently she would embrace the younger girl, honesty in her words. The greatest assistance was not always physical ; but mental and emotional. It was the latter two that made the biggest difference for Destruction when received from Arian, a girl she considered her daughter. Speech

Arian wasn't sure if she would ever recover, ever be the same. She had seen death stare her in the face, she had seen blood stolen from her very eyes. It wasn't her, no, it was whoever she got close to. The world would tear them from her paws, and remind her of her weakness. Remind her that the strong survived, and the weak did not. If she did not cleanse herself of this weakness, she would never be able to face her mother. If her mother disowned her, she would not be able to move on so easily. Her tail tucked as she breathed in Destructions scent. She would never replace Epiphron, or her real birth mother, but she would still be a figure that she looked up to. And in all of the broken wake, fear was what made her weak. She bit into her own lip, clenching her paws into the dirt. Calm down Arian, for gods sake. What about Descrution? she thought. Trying to dry the tears from her eyes. As she pressed into Destruction lying her snout upon the back of the black and red girls neck. Before taking in a few breaths, and breathing. "I'm a healer of Ethereal now, Azalea Adravendi my cousin is the alphess. Yet....my mother, tried to maim her and she is seen as a traitor to my family. I'm scared that Epiphron will think the same of me." Arian stated. "But, enough, what has the world done for you Destruction? How have you been." the girl would ask. Not wanting to dwell upon what she had said before. Simply wanting to forget, to bury it into her head. Along with any other fears. "Talk" "You" Think

The female would listen, hearing of Arian?s hurts, her worries. She had a new life with her cousin. A cousin her mother, Epiphiron saw as a traitor. She would give a soft sigh, gently nuzzling the girl. ?Oh Arian...? Destruction would say quietly. ?First and foremost, you must not fear what is not a problem. Fear will consume you, tear you apart bit by bit. The mind is powerful, yet in the wake of fear it can be a very fragile thing. You may stand with your cousin Azalea, but whatever she has done to be seen as traitorous by Pip are not your actions. For Epiphiron to judge you on that, when you simply long to belong and be with family, is wrong on her part.?[/color] Destruction would not bash on the other woman. She had never done anything to her, but she would state her honest opinion on it, choosing to hold back answer Arian?s inquires about herself until she finished speaking to the younger girl. ?If anything your mother should be happy that you?ve found a place to call home, and that you are working on bettering your skills. Do not be afraid, Arian, of a fate you can not say for sure is true or will be.?[/color] The female would completely relax, breathing in slowly. How had life treated her? ?It?s been throwing me for quite a loop, Arian. I had to hit rock bottom again before I could crawl back into normality. I caught the epidemic... And during that time I had many hallucinations... Of memories... Memories I?d suppressed. I relieved the horrors I committed, my sins. I bear them now in memory of who I was, but not what I will be.? She would smile some, giving a soft chuckle. ?I also recalled my true name... Bernadette. Shame it took a disease to make me remember.? She would shake her head. ?I lost everyone too... Aiden as well... But... I found Bane and Tahlia again. Amends have been made, despite my own betrayals... And our family is stronger than ever. They have two new little ones now. Well... Yearlings at this point, to be honest.? Her tone was happy. ?I?ve also met a very wonder man about my age. Deviant Black is his name.? Perhaps some of her happiness in speaking of how life turned around would cheer the other up. Speech