Peace. She was surprised how easily the feeling had settled over the den after the birth of her two boys. They seemed so perfect she could hardly believe how they?d come into being. Of course, she didn?t think that she?d ever get the memory to leave her mind, though she wished desperately that the memory would be repressed the likelihood was small. The thoughts were still so vivid, but the frequency at which she relived those moments would diminish. Having support like Ara?s would help, as well as being occupied with taking care of two small pups. They were so quiet and docile. She hoped beyond hope that they would stay like this. The influence of their father would never touch them, she would be sure of that. Her pale form would lay neatly within the den, her form obviously relaxed as Hymn and Psalm would quietly suckle at her side. Though she never had wished for them she was unsure what she would do without them now. Their perfection was stunning and the love she held for them was immeasurable. However wonderful they were however, she always felt exhausted. Like she?d never recuperate from the birth. They took an incredible amount of energy to raise and she was unsure how she would have gotten through without Ara?s help. Even with all of her family to help, sharing a den with the other she wolf was an imperative part of her own survival. Life wouldn?t have been so perfect without her. A small smile would play on her features as she let the stillness of the moment wash over her. She?d found very few moments that allowed her to smile while she was pregnant, now she would savor everyone that came her way.

The first few days of Psalm and Hymn's lives had been rather nerve-wracking for Ara and Novel both. Her anxiety felt like it might never leave her. She worried that Lel knew where they were, and that he might eventually show up and try to harm someone, or take Novel's babies from her. Ara's sleep was often restless and her dreams were somewhat disturbing, wracking her mind with worry. But slowly the fear seemed to fade as the tiny children that Novel had given birth to came to life. They were small and frail at first, but already they were growing, their eyes slowly opening and they were already beginning to speak in fragments. She could hardly believed how much they loved them for not even being of her own blood.




Though Novel hadn't shown much excitement for their birth, she couldn't deny the love that she saw in her friend's eyes as she looked upon them now. How could she not love them? They were perfect and so beautiful. A smile painted her own features as she stirred near Novel and her boys, realizing she had briefly drifted to sleep without meaning to. Jaws would part, opening in a long yawn as her paws stretched out in front of her. The afternoon was quiet and peaceful, save for the gentle sound of Psalm and Hymn sucking beside her. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," she would murmur groggily as she shifted closer to Novel's side. "Did I sleep long?" Slowly she would blink her eyes, peering warmly at Novel.

Worry seemed to be a part of her daily routine, though she?d try to push thoughts of Lel from her mind the possibility of him coming back was still very much a reality. She didn?t want to live in constant fear for herself, her family, and especially her boys. Though she would try not to voice her fears out loud, she didn?t want to worry her quickly growing children especially the thoughts were still there. Already the two of them were old enough to understand so much of what was said. She was careful what words would be uttered. Though she had no real reason to say much other than words of love to them, and to Ara. She was a blessing, and it was obvious she loved the boys as much as their own mother did. Novel would thank the gods every day for the girl?s presence. As her bright blue eyes lingered on the almost twins she would hear Ara awaken, she?d fallen into slumber. She deserved a nap as much as Novel did with all the work she?d been putting in. Novel hadn?t the heart to wake her as she?d dozed off, she?d just enjoy the peace that would fill the den. The yawn would be contagious and Novel?s own jaws would part to release the pent up air in her lungs. Ara would admit her folly, but Novel would just shake her head, she found no offense in her small nap. ?Not long enough to miss anything, she?d say softly as she moved to nuzzle her encouragingly. Enjoying the close proximity they shared.

A contented sigh would fall from her lips as she felt Novel's nose pressing into her pelt. Though the last few weeks had been turbulent at best, things seemed to be calming significantly now. Slowly Novel was recovering from giving birth, regaining both mental and physical strength. Her smiles came more freely now, and she hardly felt the girl flinch at all when she touched her. Their sleep was lighter, though she felt it might never be without some level of worry, and things were beginning to look up.




Her gaze would linger on Novel for a moment before drifting back to Hymn and Psalm. With how much time she had already spent with them, she felt very much like they were her own in a way. She wondered if they would ever ask who she was to them, and what Novel might say. Simply a friend of Novel's? Would she be introduced as a sort of god-parent, or something else? Part of her felt slighted for not knowing exactly where she stood in their lives, but she felt guilty for even considering asking. She didn't even know how to ask -- or what she would be asking at all, really.


Her yawn was contagious and she found herself laughing softly as Novel's own jaws parted to let out the sleepy sound. 'Not long enough to miss anything,' Novel informed her and she smiled. "I don't even want to miss this," she said, motioning toward the suckling boys. They were such beautiful pups and she found herself craving their presence, always worrying about them and wanting to spend more time to them. "Novel," she would start after a moment, her tone soft but inquisitive. "What will we tell them when they ask about me?" Obviously they knew Novel as their mom, but what about Ara? A sudden pang of guilt wracked her chest for even bringing it up. Perhaps she should've simply been satisfied by being allowed into their lives, but it felt like an important detail was missing -- at least from her mind. Would she just be Ara, a friend that helped care for them? Would they someday realize that most wolves had two parents, while they only had one? A bit of nervousness had crept into her expression as she pulled away slightly to watch Novel, wondering what she might say. "I mean, they are already beginning to ask so many questions. I just don't know what I'd tell them." All she knew was that she loved them so much already, and that they had quickly become huge parts of her life.

Though she was sure life would never really go back to how it was before the attack normalcy was beginning to return. Ara would help her to recover, and she felt as though she was coming close to being fully restored. Of course, she?d left the den very little in the time that Hymn and Psalm were alive and though she was doing well inside the outside world could have very well been a different story. Her family were all she?d seen thus far and it was unlikely that strangers would gain any warm welcome from the girl. Ara?s words would warm her heart as their gazes were directed towards the tiny pups at her belly. They were both so beautiful it was hard for her to tear her eyes away from them. They?d quickly become the object of her obsession, her whole world wrapped up in two small packages. She didn?t even want to think about what she would do if Lel decided to return for them. She couldn?t fight, and she knew the pack was devoid of impressive warriors. Though she knew not how to fight she would defend her children with her life if called for. The pregnancy might have been unwanted but more than anything else in the world she wanted them now. Her bright blue eyes would be drawn back to Ara?s features as she uttered her name. The question that followed was not one that Novel had really put any thought to so she was caught a little off guard. Ara would move back a little as the question settled within her, really she was uncertain how to respond. Ara was very much as big a part of their lives as she was, what title would they bestow upon her? She was right too, they were so curious already how long would it be until they asked of Ara?s position in their lives? ?Who do you want to be to them?? She?d ask softly, she felt strongly that Ara had as much influence on them as she did. Novel didn?t want to place a label on her that she would not appreciate. She was practically their second parent, anything less than that seemed a great injustice. ?You?re already like their second parent. I couldn?t deny you a title like that.? She?d smile softly and nudge her again, the affection having become second nature to her.

So much in her life had not turned out as she had anticipated. Once, she wouldn't have been able to imagine living anywhere but Seracia. Neither would she have guessed that she would be blessed with another baby brother. And now, all of her litter-mates were home; her parents were still alive; and she have Novel and her babies. Perhaps it was more stressful than she would've originally hoped, but she wouldn't change any of it for the world.


Her expression contorted slightly as she spoke. There was obvious worry in her gaze, wondering if she had presented the question too quickly or if she had been too pushy with wanting an answer. Of course, if Novel said she didn't know, she would've dropped the subject quickly. But instead, she countered with a question of her own. 'Who do you want to be to them?' she asked, and Ara felt butterflies floating in her stomach. The nervousness didn't fade, only intensified, for she didn't know the answer to that question. Being part of their lives was a given, unless Novel decided otherwise, but to what extent would she care for them? Would this living arrangement cease once they were old enough to live in dens of their own? Would she simply care for them until they had basic survival skills and Novel no longer had to watch over them as closely? Or would she be a fixture in their lives forever? The thought was intimidating, but she would accept the responsibility regardless.


A moment of silence fell over her as Novel admitted she was like a second parent to them. Gently she would lean over Novel's side to nuzzle them both, her motions slow and her touch tender, not wanting to disturb them from the sleep that threatened to overtake them after their afternoon meal. Maybe she didn't need a label at all -- admittedly, mother sounded terrifying to her, but she was more than just a caretaker. "Novel..." she would begin again, soft voice quivering just a bit. There was a strange emotion audible in her voice now, confusion overtaking her and causing her to pull away slightly as she struggled to find the words. "Are you sure? They are your children," she reminded her gently, though she found herself shifting to lay her head on Novel's back. "I'll be part of their lives no matter what they consider me."


Her tail would curl about her hindquarters, confusion still ringing in her head. "But I think you should know something," she would begin warily, painfully aware of the way her heart was beating loudly in her chest, causing a dull ringing in her ears. "Before you make any decisions." She hadn't meant to bring up such an important discussion right as she woke up, but now that she had spoken it would be difficult to stop.

She could see the nervousness in Ara?s features and feel the anxiety as the words tumbled from her mouth. Ara had every right to be considered a guardian of these pups, she?d been there for them since the moment of conception. Novel would not take those actions lightly, it was very much obvious the marked woman cared about her children very much. The silence that filled the den after the questions was deafening, she could tell there was something on her companion?s mind. What could be wrong? As Ara moved to nuzzle the stuffed pups she?d take the moment to extract another nuzzle from her friend. A soft smile would flutter over her features as she took in her musky scent which had become an incredible comfort during her pregnancy. Again Ara would utter her name softly, the care in which she said it held dearly by Novel?s heart. There were few wolves she felt as close to as she did to Ara. Elohim was one of the few beings who were even half as close. He?d been oddly scarce since the storm though, and she hoped he was alright. Her thoughts would not be able to linger on the primate though as Ara continued, asking of her certainty in the matter. Of course, she couldn?t have imagined Ara not being in the pup?s lives. Novel would nuzzle her cheek softly, her lids slipping half closed in bliss. Her features would tilt at her next words though, curious about what it was she needed to know. There was still a nervousness in the air that had refused to leave. ?What is it Ara?? She?d ask softly, the quietness of the den overtaking her as the boys fell asleep. She?d nuzzle her again, encouraging an answer and hopefully calming the other girl?s nerves.

Was there any real difference in being a guardian and a parent? Either way, Ara knew that she would be there for Novel's children so long as she was wanted in their lives, even if she never found a real answer as to how she fit into their lives. Perhaps the moment of confusion would pass, and things would go back to normal. But it seemed she had opened her mouth too soon, and Novel gazed at her curiosity, knowing she had something to tell her.




Still her tail curled tightly about her hindquarters, as though she might shield herself from worry, from the nervousness of admitting what she wanted to say. It didn't feel fair to accept Novel's generous offer -- to let Psalm and Hymn call her a parent to them -- without telling Novel how she truly felt. Perhaps she ought to have waited. Her father had told her of the moment he'd confessed his love to their mother, near a waterfall, their faces illuminated by the light of the moon. This moment was sweet, but not nearly anything so special. Ara wondered if she should wait to tell her, but if she didn't do it now she feared she never might.


"I think..." she began, pulling slightly away from Novel as she assessed her features. The words seemed to stick in her throat and she felt her tongue going dry. A moment would pass as she licked her lips, gaze dancing unsurely over Novel's features. She felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She was so beautiful; flawless, even, and she didn't know what she would ever do if she somehow lost the friendship that they shared. But she wouldn't ever stop feeling guilty unless she told her this now. "I think I'm falling in love with you." Her words were less certain than she meant for them to sound, for she knew she was definitely falling in love with her -- but still the feelings were so muddled and confused, and she hadn't yet made sense of them all. "I.. I just couldn't imagine going on without telling you." Silently she would brace herself, for rejection, or for confusion. Knowing it would hurt, as Novella had told her, but she also knew she would never feel right until she told her.

Her touch would not soothe the other girl as Novel had intended, the worry was obvious in her posture as her tail curled tightly around her haunches. Novel would nose her again, stifling a worried whine from leaving her lips. Ara would begin slowly, pulling away from Novel?s side uncertainly. She?d offer an encouraging glance as Ara tried to form her words. This information she had to tell her was obviously not so easy to admit. Did Ara have to leave her? Would she admit now that she would not be able to continue the friendship they?d forged so tightly? Novel was unsure that she?d be able to get by if Ara left her, physically and mentally. If she left she?d be destroyed. Then she uttered eight small words that seemed very much obscured and obvious at the same time. Love. That?s what they held between them, and Novel had not even noticed before that very moment. She knew how much she cared for the other wolf, knew that she?d have never gotten through the attack and pregnancy without her. Now a whine would filter through her lips, one of comfort and of acceptance. Love. Everything seemed to make more sense with those simple words. She was sure that such an idea would have never found its way to her mind until Ara found the courage to confess such feelings. She?d never encountered a mated pair of female wolves before, but even if that was not the norm she could hardly imagine being with another wolf. Ara was her best friend, she?d been there through almost every trial in Novel?s life. Who else could have made a better partner to travel through life with? Still she was incredibly uncertain about what to say, or how to accept such feelings. Instead of verbalising how she felt a soft smile would fill her features and she would reach out to nuzzle the other girl. ?I know I?m in love with you, Ara,? She?d whisper as she pressed herself under her chin, the ease of affection seeming to finally make sense. ?I couldn?t make it in this world with out you.? Her words were a soft whisper, but the weight of them would be massive. She didn?t have to think about it long, she wanted Ara and no one else.

If this wasn't love, she didn't know if she could handle actually being in love. Already she was overwhelmed by emotion, by feelings of adoration and awe; she had never believed in gods like many of the Destruction family did, but if she were to worship anything it would be the woman sitting at her side. She seemed so divine and perfect -- so beyond this word that it took her breath away. Even looking at her now, she felt invisible butterflies in her stomach, felt her head growing dizzy and her heart light.


She would watch with obvious nervousness in her eyes as Novel whined, leaning over to nuzzle her. For a long moment, she wondered if it was a sad sound; if maybe Novel simply felt bad for her, for having such feelings, and wanted to console her. But her touch was warm and comforting and she swore she felt herself melting into the short embrace. Novel would reply after a moment. 'I know I'm in love with you, Ara,' and instantly a happy whine would leave her own throat. Love was the only word she knew how to describe her feelings for Novel. Since she had come here with her parents, she hadn't wanted to leave her side -- and now the prospect of being without her was unbearable. "I never want to be without you," she would tell her quickly, shifting to pull her closer, still wary of the sleeping boys at her belly. Gentle kisses would be placed upon her neck, the sudden affection that welled up in her belly overwhelming her.


She wondered suddenly if this would change anything. Perhaps she would be more open with her affection toward her. Always she craved her touch and longed for her scent when she was away; but now she felt more free to show it. A happy sigh left her lips as she draped her muzzle over Novel's back, eying Hymn and Psalm now. They were her children as much as Novel's. At least, that was what Novel had said, and she certainly loved them no less than the other woman. "I love you." Ara would repeat now, more certain than before, letting a smile tug at the corners of her lips.

She?d seen her mother in love twice now, as well as her aunts. She knew that the emotion was a powerful thing, and now that such emotions were made more obvious she could feel them herself. The strong attachment she felt towards Ara and the unnerving need she had. A life without the girl seemed cold and unwelcoming, she never wanted to be with out her. Bright blue eyes would take in her form, she was the rock that Novel would cling to. The only reason she was even still sane. What she would have done in her absence was a mystery but she knew her recovery would never have been half as quick with out the loyalty and care of Ara. The dark girl would reciprocate her feelings, neither wished to be apart from the other. Novel would lean into her embrace, taking her tender kisses and returning them sweetly, nothing in her life had felt so real or right. Her affection was all she needed, her touch all she would ever want. She and Ara would raise these children as their own, and though her encounter with Lel had been a curse, Psalm and Hymn had brought her and Ara together and she could never regret that. She?d feel Ara?s nose slip past her neck to rest on her back once again, the simple embrace a comfort and a promise as they would begin anew their relationship. Once more the other girl would confess her love, bringing a swarm of butterflies to disturb her stomach. She?d see the smile tug at the corner of Ara?s lips and her own would follow. How could anything be more perfect than this? ?I love you, Ara.? She?d whisper before nuzzling her neck slightly and offering a tender kiss upon her muzzle. ?Don?t ever leave me.?

Ara didn't even know that this was something that would even be possible -- Novel loving her back. Even without the feelings being reconciled, she was content with her life and the individuals she was surrounded with. She would've loved Hymn and Psalm just as deeply regardless of whether she was known as a guardian or not. Suddenly though, it felt like life wouldn't be complete without knowing Novel loved her and -- hopefully -- wanted to spend the rest of her life at her side. A sigh slipped from her lips, ecstasy ebbing through her veins as she felt Novel lean into the embrace. She felt like she was at home here, despite all they had gone through, and she let her eyes close for a moment.


What this meant for them, she had no idea; but it felt more right than anything she had ever known. A whimper left her throat, needy and loving as she clung close to her. 'Don't ever leave me,' Novel said gently, more a plea than a command, but it could've been one for all she cared. She had no interest in sharing her life with anyone other than Novel. A smile painted her features as she leaned into her more deeply, feeling sleep take hold as she inhaled her sweet scent and felt the gentle thrumming of her heart in her chest as she lay at her side. "Never," she would promise her sleepily, burrowing her nose into Novel's fur as the smile on her face widened.


- exit via sleep? -