I Would Walk 500 Miles
09-29-2014, 07:53 PM
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09-29-2014, 09:15 PM
The first few days of Psalm and Hymn's lives had been rather nerve-wracking for Ara and Novel both. Her anxiety felt like it might never leave her. She worried that Lel knew where they were, and that he might eventually show up and try to harm someone, or take Novel's babies from her. Ara's sleep was often restless and her dreams were somewhat disturbing, wracking her mind with worry. But slowly the fear seemed to fade as the tiny children that Novel had given birth to came to life. They were small and frail at first, but already they were growing, their eyes slowly opening and they were already beginning to speak in fragments. She could hardly believed how much they loved them for not even being of her own blood.
Though Novel hadn't shown much excitement for their birth, she couldn't deny the love that she saw in her friend's eyes as she looked upon them now. How could she not love them? They were perfect and so beautiful. A smile painted her own features as she stirred near Novel and her boys, realizing she had briefly drifted to sleep without meaning to. Jaws would part, opening in a long yawn as her paws stretched out in front of her. The afternoon was quiet and peaceful, save for the gentle sound of Psalm and Hymn sucking beside her. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," she would murmur groggily as she shifted closer to Novel's side. "Did I sleep long?" Slowly she would blink her eyes, peering warmly at Novel.
09-29-2014, 09:25 PM
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09-30-2014, 07:33 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2014, 07:36 AM by Ara.)
A contented sigh would fall from her lips as she felt Novel's nose pressing into her pelt. Though the last few weeks had been turbulent at best, things seemed to be calming significantly now. Slowly Novel was recovering from giving birth, regaining both mental and physical strength. Her smiles came more freely now, and she hardly felt the girl flinch at all when she touched her. Their sleep was lighter, though she felt it might never be without some level of worry, and things were beginning to look up.
Her gaze would linger on Novel for a moment before drifting back to Hymn and Psalm. With how much time she had already spent with them, she felt very much like they were her own in a way. She wondered if they would ever ask who she was to them, and what Novel might say. Simply a friend of Novel's? Would she be introduced as a sort of god-parent, or something else? Part of her felt slighted for not knowing exactly where she stood in their lives, but she felt guilty for even considering asking. She didn't even know how to ask -- or what she would be asking at all, really.
Her yawn was contagious and she found herself laughing softly as Novel's own jaws parted to let out the sleepy sound. 'Not long enough to miss anything,' Novel informed her and she smiled. "I don't even want to miss this," she said, motioning toward the suckling boys. They were such beautiful pups and she found herself craving their presence, always worrying about them and wanting to spend more time to them. "Novel," she would start after a moment, her tone soft but inquisitive. "What will we tell them when they ask about me?" Obviously they knew Novel as their mom, but what about Ara? A sudden pang of guilt wracked her chest for even bringing it up. Perhaps she should've simply been satisfied by being allowed into their lives, but it felt like an important detail was missing -- at least from her mind. Would she just be Ara, a friend that helped care for them? Would they someday realize that most wolves had two parents, while they only had one? A bit of nervousness had crept into her expression as she pulled away slightly to watch Novel, wondering what she might say. "I mean, they are already beginning to ask so many questions. I just don't know what I'd tell them." All she knew was that she loved them so much already, and that they had quickly become huge parts of her life.
09-30-2014, 08:02 AM
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09-30-2014, 08:34 AM
So much in her life had not turned out as she had anticipated. Once, she wouldn't have been able to imagine living anywhere but Seracia. Neither would she have guessed that she would be blessed with another baby brother. And now, all of her litter-mates were home; her parents were still alive; and she have Novel and her babies. Perhaps it was more stressful than she would've originally hoped, but she wouldn't change any of it for the world.
Her expression contorted slightly as she spoke. There was obvious worry in her gaze, wondering if she had presented the question too quickly or if she had been too pushy with wanting an answer. Of course, if Novel said she didn't know, she would've dropped the subject quickly. But instead, she countered with a question of her own. 'Who do you want to be to them?' she asked, and Ara felt butterflies floating in her stomach. The nervousness didn't fade, only intensified, for she didn't know the answer to that question. Being part of their lives was a given, unless Novel decided otherwise, but to what extent would she care for them? Would this living arrangement cease once they were old enough to live in dens of their own? Would she simply care for them until they had basic survival skills and Novel no longer had to watch over them as closely? Or would she be a fixture in their lives forever? The thought was intimidating, but she would accept the responsibility regardless.
A moment of silence fell over her as Novel admitted she was like a second parent to them. Gently she would lean over Novel's side to nuzzle them both, her motions slow and her touch tender, not wanting to disturb them from the sleep that threatened to overtake them after their afternoon meal. Maybe she didn't need a label at all -- admittedly, mother sounded terrifying to her, but she was more than just a caretaker. "Novel..." she would begin again, soft voice quivering just a bit. There was a strange emotion audible in her voice now, confusion overtaking her and causing her to pull away slightly as she struggled to find the words. "Are you sure? They are your children," she reminded her gently, though she found herself shifting to lay her head on Novel's back. "I'll be part of their lives no matter what they consider me."
Her tail would curl about her hindquarters, confusion still ringing in her head. "But I think you should know something," she would begin warily, painfully aware of the way her heart was beating loudly in her chest, causing a dull ringing in her ears. "Before you make any decisions." She hadn't meant to bring up such an important discussion right as she woke up, but now that she had spoken it would be difficult to stop.
09-30-2014, 03:22 PM
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09-30-2014, 10:03 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2014, 10:05 PM by Ara.)
Was there any real difference in being a guardian and a parent? Either way, Ara knew that she would be there for Novel's children so long as she was wanted in their lives, even if she never found a real answer as to how she fit into their lives. Perhaps the moment of confusion would pass, and things would go back to normal. But it seemed she had opened her mouth too soon, and Novel gazed at her curiosity, knowing she had something to tell her.
Still her tail curled tightly about her hindquarters, as though she might shield herself from worry, from the nervousness of admitting what she wanted to say. It didn't feel fair to accept Novel's generous offer -- to let Psalm and Hymn call her a parent to them -- without telling Novel how she truly felt. Perhaps she ought to have waited. Her father had told her of the moment he'd confessed his love to their mother, near a waterfall, their faces illuminated by the light of the moon. This moment was sweet, but not nearly anything so special. Ara wondered if she should wait to tell her, but if she didn't do it now she feared she never might.
"I think..." she began, pulling slightly away from Novel as she assessed her features. The words seemed to stick in her throat and she felt her tongue going dry. A moment would pass as she licked her lips, gaze dancing unsurely over Novel's features. She felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She was so beautiful; flawless, even, and she didn't know what she would ever do if she somehow lost the friendship that they shared. But she wouldn't ever stop feeling guilty unless she told her this now. "I think I'm falling in love with you." Her words were less certain than she meant for them to sound, for she knew she was definitely falling in love with her -- but still the feelings were so muddled and confused, and she hadn't yet made sense of them all. "I.. I just couldn't imagine going on without telling you." Silently she would brace herself, for rejection, or for confusion. Knowing it would hurt, as Novella had told her, but she also knew she would never feel right until she told her.
10-01-2014, 08:45 AM
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10-01-2014, 11:50 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2014, 08:46 PM by Ara.)
If this wasn't love, she didn't know if she could handle actually being in love. Already she was overwhelmed by emotion, by feelings of adoration and awe; she had never believed in gods like many of the Destruction family did, but if she were to worship anything it would be the woman sitting at her side. She seemed so divine and perfect -- so beyond this word that it took her breath away. Even looking at her now, she felt invisible butterflies in her stomach, felt her head growing dizzy and her heart light.
She would watch with obvious nervousness in her eyes as Novel whined, leaning over to nuzzle her. For a long moment, she wondered if it was a sad sound; if maybe Novel simply felt bad for her, for having such feelings, and wanted to console her. But her touch was warm and comforting and she swore she felt herself melting into the short embrace. Novel would reply after a moment. 'I know I'm in love with you, Ara,' and instantly a happy whine would leave her own throat. Love was the only word she knew how to describe her feelings for Novel. Since she had come here with her parents, she hadn't wanted to leave her side -- and now the prospect of being without her was unbearable. "I never want to be without you," she would tell her quickly, shifting to pull her closer, still wary of the sleeping boys at her belly. Gentle kisses would be placed upon her neck, the sudden affection that welled up in her belly overwhelming her.
She wondered suddenly if this would change anything. Perhaps she would be more open with her affection toward her. Always she craved her touch and longed for her scent when she was away; but now she felt more free to show it. A happy sigh left her lips as she draped her muzzle over Novel's back, eying Hymn and Psalm now. They were her children as much as Novel's. At least, that was what Novel had said, and she certainly loved them no less than the other woman. "I love you." Ara would repeat now, more certain than before, letting a smile tug at the corners of her lips.
10-01-2014, 08:02 PM
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10-05-2014, 09:03 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2014, 09:04 PM by Ara.)
Ara didn't even know that this was something that would even be possible -- Novel loving her back. Even without the feelings being reconciled, she was content with her life and the individuals she was surrounded with. She would've loved Hymn and Psalm just as deeply regardless of whether she was known as a guardian or not. Suddenly though, it felt like life wouldn't be complete without knowing Novel loved her and -- hopefully -- wanted to spend the rest of her life at her side. A sigh slipped from her lips, ecstasy ebbing through her veins as she felt Novel lean into the embrace. She felt like she was at home here, despite all they had gone through, and she let her eyes close for a moment.
What this meant for them, she had no idea; but it felt more right than anything she had ever known. A whimper left her throat, needy and loving as she clung close to her. 'Don't ever leave me,' Novel said gently, more a plea than a command, but it could've been one for all she cared. She had no interest in sharing her life with anyone other than Novel. A smile painted her features as she leaned into her more deeply, feeling sleep take hold as she inhaled her sweet scent and felt the gentle thrumming of her heart in her chest as she lay at her side. "Never," she would promise her sleepily, burrowing her nose into Novel's fur as the smile on her face widened.
- exit via sleep? -