Something had shifted. It was infantismal, and yet... There it was. Raisa was ever so slowly becoming Raisa once more. Her memories were foggy at best. They still pained her a great deal, more so at night and within her dreams where she could not escape. There had been so much blood and death, and her children... She had had pups! That revelation had been so terrible it nearly threw her back into the spiral she had just so narrowly climbed out of. Oh, what in the gods name had she done? The sin was too great to ignore or deny, and even if she had a lifetime she could never be forgiven. She had lost three nights of sleep, three days with no food and only drinking what Koros could bring her in moss. It was a crushing reality. Her failure had been so immense... Koros had tried all he could to raise her spirits. He seemed so overjoyed to see a knowing light in her eyes, that she wondered if he had any idea what she felt inside. She could not voice it to him, she should not even bring herself to say it out loud to herself. She had tried once, but the words would not come. They were lodged in her throat, something no sound could make it's way past. The kids... and Virgil. Oh, sweet Virgil. She had hoped for so much for them... Where was the golden goddess now? The thought of living without her children or her love was almost enough to turn Raisa's sanity against her. She would be capable of taking her own life, if she chose it. She knew what it would take. She could bash her head against a rock, she could fling herself from a clifftop. She deserved nothing but the lowest pit of hell, and even so... She hoped. Could there ever be redemption for a Queen who had let her kingdom fall? Who had built it up and burned it down? She leveled Koros with a gaze brimming with such a crushing sadness... He could not help but allow his eyes to well with tears. It was too much to bear. She craved oblivion again, but it would not come. "Talk" "You" Think

She was lost. Her hatred and lack of understanding ate at her. She was faltering. Falling. Lost. Meeting the slate man had helped her a short while, but then... then... the challenge for Olympus had came. That part of her that still cared for her other siblings kicked in, and Rozaliya -- Svetlana -- was thrown into darkness. She didn't know what she was doing. Where she was going. She moved almost automatically. Thank the gods for the faithful fox that came after her. For Korrin. She didn't deserve the companion... not after what she had done to her... By her side, as Svetlana moved along, her baby blue hues on the ground, moved the small fox. Left ear was nearly gone, just a stump of what it once was, torn by Svetlana's own teeth. Korrin had been shocked, scared to death of what her companion had done. But her love for her, and her loyalty, had the creature come back. With a deep sigh Svetlana would just flop on the ground beneath a tree, closing her eyes. She was hurting. So much emotional hurt... and only her family could fix it. But Svetlana was on a spiral... and leaving her alone for too long spelled disaster. She had traveled off to the North, here, the first time... what would happen if she strayed again? Korrin would sigh, looking at her friend with sad eyes. So broken, she was. But the fox refused to give up on her. Korrin was certain that, if she could just find one of Svetlana's family members, that she could save her. The gray-black fox would move from Svetlana's side, heading north for a few meters. Then paused. That scent... could it be...? Raisa? Koros? The creature would look over her shoulder at Svetlana and then began to run, following her nose to the woman. She too, looked in a bad state. Korrin would hesitate, good ear lowering as she looked at her. "Raisa...? Korrin is here..." The fox would look around. Was Koros near? She could only pray so. They needed to help their wolfen companions... before one of them was lost forever. "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'

Raisa could not believe her eyes. This little creature... It was hardly recognizable, having been so young when Raisa had last seen the creature, but... Sure it was her daughter's steward. She began to quiver, uncertain if this was reality or simply another waking dream. The creature spoke, said her name... Raisa... the woman echoed in her thoughts. So odd to hear someone other than Koros voice her name. She turned and found her own steward staring at the fox with the same disbelief that she herself felt. But he did not quiver, he was not being suffocated by his fear as she was. "Korrin!" her own companion whispered out, awed. "What on earth happened to you, child? Is Lady Svetlana near?" There were so many questions swirling in his mind but those two were the only ones that managed to pass his lips. Raisa could say nothing at all, merely gawk and clench her jaw. A ghost from her moons spent feral, she had the urge to run, but she quelled it down with a vicious ferocity, clenching her eyes shut. No. Never again. She would die before allowing herself to fall victim to the madness. Her bi-colored gaze would turn to the woods around them, scanning them for the familiar coat of her daughter, so like her own, as if left under the sun for too long. Svetlana had always been the sweetest of her children, always had kind words to share. Raisa remembered her rotund little body bouncing after her siblings. She would trail after Valeriya and Sigmarr, chastising them when they fought or got too rough. It was enough to bring tears to her eyes, but she would not allow herself even to blink. No, she would be ready when she faced her child again for the first time since her failure. "Talk" "You" Think

Raisa would not respond, but Koros, her steward, would speak, and the girl's gray eyes would fall on him. A soft sigh would leave her, and sadness would creep into her eyes. "Close but... Svet is in a bad place, Svet is... Not the Svet Korrin knew... nor the one Koros knew or Lady Raisa. Bad off... Svet feels betrayed..." The young fox would glance at Raisa, then to Koros. "Svet's heart grew bitter... alone. Then Lady Virgil came and force claimed them. Svet... wouldn't give Olympus a chance." Tears had formed in the foxes eyes. She didn't know what else to do. She was scared of losing Svetlana forever. There was more, so much more to warn them about. The challenge of Olympus by Katja, Virgil's disappearance and second litter... so very much. The fox would take a breath, shaking her head. "Svet needs Svet's family... but won't go to them. Val has Ebony... and... Svet feels she'll abandon it... Svet won't go back." Gaze would stay on Koros. "Have to get them together, Koros. We must... get Svet and Raisa together... before it's too late." "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'

To say he was disturbed would be an understatement to the worth of Koros' emotional depths. He stiffened, a chill taking him over and rooting him in place. That Korrin had not answered his first question... He wondered why that might be. Not only that but the news she bore was horrendous, worse than he might have imagined. Virgil, Raisa's lover, had tried to steal the heirs of Ebony? He shuddered, surprised that he had not heard word of war. If Raisa had been in charge, it certainly would have come to that, but of course if she had been in her right mind the chance never would have occurred. He allowed another quiver to rack him. "Of course," he agreed. "The family must stay together if they are to survive." To think that the princess Valeriya was leading Ebony at such a tender age... He was not certain she was capable of such things just yet. He remembered her as a trouble maker, prone to shirking her responsibility. Hardly as a Queen. "I believe Raisa would want to make amends." When he turned to face her he found such a blatant look of shock on her face that it made him queasy. He had never seen such a medley of bewilderment and fear and rage within her mixed gaze. He could do little to pick the information apart before his Queen surged to her feet and leveled the young fox with a steady gaze. She would not speak, but he felt her intent. "Please, Korrin. If you would take us to your master." His words were quiet but urgent, and his gaze did not deviate from the ashen woman who now stood above him. There was a rigidity in her spine that he had not seen for moons, a resolute determination that spoke of will and intent to live and be and fight. It was enough to fill his bloodstream with butterflies, but a fair few of them were nervous. I can only hope that this is wise... "Talk" "You" Think

The fox worried what would become of this reunion, and from the expression on Koros' face, she knew the other understood things were worse than she let on. Perhaps Raisa had an idea... but Korrin would never admit that it was Svetlana who injured her. Who tore her ear away. The horror on her friend's face when she realized what she had done was enough for Korrin to understand something dark was festering in the wolf, but that was not her. No... it wasn't her friend. Svetlana had been kind, a sweetheart, a supportive wolfess. She just fell into shadows with things going how they were. But she would never, ever do anything to purposely spite or hurt another. Not the real her. The small fox would take a breath and give a nod to both before bounding in the direction of her companion. Svetlana was where she left her. Her eyes were closed, though stains where her tears had fallen marked her cheeks. Her heart was eating at itself, tearing her up with guilt. A whine would leave her, but the solitary moment was not long. She heard pawsteps. The pitter-patter of fox paws... and... heavier ones. Svetlana would open her eyes, and the girl would jolt up. Mixed feelings tossed inside of her. Ears would pin back, eyes would narrow, those tears lingering there. Svetlana wanted to speak, but her throat felt oddly dry. So dry. So instead she looked at Raisa, somewhere between a glare and questioning gaze. Where had she been? Why return now? Did she care for them at all? Would she just leave again? Do you have any idea how much I've missed you? How much I cried, hoping you'd come back? "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'

Raisa's heart jolted in her chest. Her daughter was so near... Her child, her own blood. Memories began to swirl around her, thick in her mind, threatening to drown her in their desperate need to be remembered. All the things she had done, too terrible to live with and far too meaningful to forget. The ex-Queen knew she would be in this state of limbo until she died, balanced on a razor's edge between madness and crushing failure. She had built herself a hell, and folly had been her foundation. When the smaller creatures turned to move away Raisa could do nothing but the same, moving as if in a haze. She began to quiver, very slightly, a trace of her shaking fits left in her bones even then. She wondered if she would ever be rid of them... But there she was. Her little girl, the pale reflection of her own being, laying there on the forest floor. Tear trails stained her cheeks to the color of iron, closer to Raisa's own natural hue. Her mothering instincts, if she ever truly had them to begin with, urged her to rush to her daughters side and lap the saline away, wash away her sadness. You are the source, whispered a malicious voice from deep within her mind. Your presence will only exacerbate this situation, you fool. Raisa's jaw clenched and relaxed, clenched again and relaxed again. She wanted so badly to say something but she could only stare. Her stomach was a knot of iron, tense to the point of pain. Desperately she wanted to flee, she was not ready for this confrontation... But no. Never again. She opened her mouth and attempted to say something but the words would not come. Her mind wished so desperately to plead for her daughter's forgiveness, it shone in her eyes like a beacon, but the words had lodged in her throat. Koros looked at his master with a growing sense of horror, feeling in his bones that something was terribly wrong. "Talk" "You" Think

Silence stretched between them. Gazes meeting, yet neither she wolf moved. Neither fox moved. It was if all were frozen. The fox were worriedly looking at their companions, both fearing what would happen with this reunion. Things seemed to stretch on for an eternity before Svetlana began shaking. She would lower her gaze, Korrin taking a pawstep back. This same shaking was seen before by the fox. Right before Svetlana truly snapped and attacked her, tearing her ear. Her gray eyes were wide, fearful. Surely Svetlana wouldn?t attack her own mother?! But then Korrin realized. The shakes weren?t of anger. Svetlana was crying. Crying even harder now. The black fox moved to her companion now, gently nudging her. ?Svet...? She would say softly. The young wolfess would look up then, her voice so quiet, the questions hanging in the air heavy with emotion. ?Don?t you love us? Why... Why do you keep leaving and coming back!?? Hurt was there, but it was not an accusation. Not full of raw anger, and the urge to make Raisa bleed. No... Her emotions had been of impulse before. She was messed up... But really... All Svetlana wanted... All she ever really wanted... ...Was her mother. "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'

Raisa's ears rung as if a bell had been struck within her skull. She could not seem to hear, to make sense of anything at all. She drew in a shuddering, if silent, breath. Korrin's words did not breach her, bi-colored gaze locked on her daughter and mindful of nothing else. Svetlana, Svetlana, Sweet svet, my baby girl... Her thoughts ran as if on loop. Why could she not move, why could she not simply step up and embrace the yearling? She was so young, and to have been abandoned, what sort of monster could do a thing like that? The silence would stretch within an enternity, broken only by Svetlana. Her words, so hushed and pained, struck Raisa as if they were a lance through the chest. "Don't you love us?" Raisa's legs felt like rotten ice, ready to cave and crumble. "Why do you keep leaving and coming back!?" The Queen's vision would tunnel, darkness encroaching at the sides. She wondered if she would faint, and if she did whether or not she would wake up again. From what she had heard of death, she could very well be on her way to hell. Her body ached and pounded, worn thin by the strain of existing within her full faculties once more. Her daughter's appearance, the sustenance of her presence, burned away at the madness within her mind. This was what she had been missing, this was her purpose, her reason to be alive. She had to make amends. The woman rushed forward, a choked sob croaking through her lips, mangled by vocal chords that must have been strained somewhere in the foggy past. But the horror and fear and utter repentance was still there. Her tangerine and aquamarine eyes were overflowing with tears and she bounded forward, heedless that her approach might provoke and attack. She wanted only to press her body into that of the younger woman's, to kiss her cheeks and the tips of her ears and beg her forgiveness in the only manner she had left to her. Please, she pleaded within the wretched sanctity of her mind. Please... "Talk" "You" Think

Saying those words hurt. Seeing her mother hurt. She didn?t understand. She just couldn?t understand. The people who were supposed to love her the most disappearing, leaving... she felt abandoned and so very hurt. The girl had been full of love, and then, with the love having nowhere to go, she also questioned if she had somehow cause them to leave her. The tears fell, and she was shocked when Raisa rushed forward. But Svetlana did not snap at her, did not fight the approach. Instead her own legs willed her closer as well, until mother and daughter met, the child burying her head into Raisa?s shoulder and shiver. Her own sounds of crying left her, breaths hard, almost choking, but there was a sense of relief too, as she took in her mother?s scent anew. Svetlana would move her head to her mother?s shoulder, pressing against it as she tried to hold onto her. She didn?t want her to leave ever again, and she feared it. Gods how she feared it. ?Please don?t go again... Please... Please don?t leave again!? Her heart couldn?t take it a third time. She needed her mother at her side, to help guide her back to the right path. To help heal her heart. She wanted her Ebony family to be whole again... And they could not without the most important woman who connected them all. "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'

Her little girl was breaking down, and something in Raisa broke as well. The dam of emotion poured forth and voiceless sobs began to rack her body. She shudder under the weight of them, unable to express them any other way. Raisa burrowed her muzzle into her daughter's fur, gulping in her scent. She did not smell like a pack, there was nothing of her siblings there buried in her fur. Raisa could only think the worse. What could possibly have led her children to separate? She had taught them form the first that their family, the last of the true Xanilovs, must stick together to survive. Did that mean... Svetlana was the only one left? Raisa could not stomach such an idea, could not imagine. What had this poor girl gone through in her mother's absence? Koros seemed to know her very thoughts, as he so often did, and asked the girl, "My Princess, what has happened during our... leave?" He knew he would have to explain the situation to Svetlana eventually, likely out of her mother's hearing. It was her right to understand what had happened, but he could not stomach the idea of shaming his master right before her very eyes. It made him queasy just to think about it. Raisa shook her head solemnly at her daughters words, ignoring Koros all together, trying to convey to the girl that she would never, ever leave her again. All she wanted was to return to Ebony, to be with her family, to be the mother her children deserved. She knew she had to find Katja as well and repay the enormous debt owed. She had so much to do, but felt disinclined towards all of it at the current moment in time. All she needed to do now was be with her youngest daughter, her precious Svet, and make up for her long wayward moons. "Talk" "You" Think

Svetlana would press into Raisa, taking comfort in her presence now, and fearing what her mother would think of what she had done. So much had gone wrong since her last departure... And Svet felt as if her very heart would break from it all. Though her mother would not speak, her actions seemed to convey she wished to stay, to not abandon them again. It was enough, for now, though if Rasia left again... Svetlana would surely be lost. Twice could be forgiven... But to repeat again would shatter her. She already felt set apart from her whole family... And it was her own fault. She closed her eyes, preparing herself to answer Koros. ?So much, Koros... So very much... Virgil challenged for us after mother left. She stole us away from Ebony, all of us, despite Katja fighting to keep us there... But the only ones who ended up in Olympus were Kassander and I. Val was gone... Sigmarr and Sindri... I didn?t know where they were... But they were not in Olympus or Ebony.? She swallowed hard. ?Virgil claimed us and abandoned us within her pack. She got pregnant again.. And bore a litter which very nearly cost her her own life. I felt so isolated during that time... Olympus was not my home... I was unhappy... So unhappy... And there was nothing I could do... I just shunned everyone. I couldn?t even face Kass...? The more she spoke, the more her words got pained. ?By the time Natalya took over Olympus I didn?t even know who I was anymore. I asked to leave, and she granted that to me... I went to Ebony, to find Katja holding it together... But... Val came back... I...? Svetlana squeezed her eyes closed, drawing away from Raisa. ?Gods above I don?t even really know what happened... It was if the darkest part in my soul had taken over... Katja was going to hand the pack over to me... I... I felt Val was going to abandon it...? There were unspoken words there, as Raisa had left her alphaship duties twice before herself... And Val had gone as well. ?I felt such anger... Such bitterness in my heart at her return... She had held her freedom... While Kass, Korrin, and I stayed in Olympus as prisoners to our own family. I left Ebony... I would not walk with her... And... That darkness festered.? When Svetlana opened her eyes again there were large tears in them. ?I don?t know who I am anymore... But I am not Svetlana Xanilov... There is something awakened in me... Something so evil... I... I even attacked Korrin... And yet she forgave me... She came back... When I don?t deserve her companionship.? The girl was shaking heavily again, her voice soft and cracking with each word. The young fox would set a paw on the wolf?s own, looking at her with a sure gaze. ?Svet is Svet... And that will not change. Svet has gotten lost, but Korrin will not abandon Svet because of it. Korrin will stand by Svet always...? The fox turned her gaze to Koros and Raisa. Would they be as understanding? Would they, at the end of this, return home together? "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'

The saga that poured forth form her daughter's mouth was hard to take, but Raisa bore it solemnly. She nodded when the time seemed right, allowed herself deep breaths where it was necessary, and met her daughter's eyes as she spoke of her supposed failure. Little did she know, her mother could not have been more proud. To face such darkness, such hardship... She had wavered and bent, but she had not broken. The young woman that stood before her now was no monster. Perhaps she was lost or confused, but it was nothing Raisa herself had not come to know all too well. She wished she could find the words to tell her daughter of her own madness, of her painful lacking, and reassure her that nothing could have made Raisa think any differently. The Queen would level Korrin with a long stare, a proud stare, with gratitude pouring forth from her mismatched orbs. It was in that strength Svetlana would recover, just as her own companion had kept her from straying into the reaper's maw. Raisa would move forward tentatively, reaching in the hopes of pressing the tip of her nose into Korrin's forehead. It was the only gesture she could think of to convey her thanks, and in the contact she would attempt to channel every ounce of good will and thankfulness she was capable of. "There is nothing family cannot forgive," Koros would say solemnly. "And I know I speak for the both of us when I say I pray we are never far from your side ever again." Raisa nodded, eyes still glistening from her tears. Kassander was alive, as was Valeriya. That Virgil had kidnapped her children, held them, abandoned them... And what of the other pups? The golden Olympian babies, what of them? Raisa's heart constricted for the sake of every child she saw as her own, and the sense of betrayal threatened to overwhelm her. But no... no, perhaps there was a reason for all of this. If Virgil had moved on so be it, it was deserved, but the pups did not deserve what they had been given. I will make it right, she swore to herself, and turned her gaze southward, where Olympus lay shrouded in distance. "Speech"

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Svetlana could not have felt a greater relief seeing how her mother reacted, and hearing Koros' words. To know that, even as she made mistakes, her family, her friends were there with her to make sure she didn't completely fall... She would breathe out a sigh of relief, lifting her baby blue hues to her mother. She would give a firm nod, trying to blink away those tears. "This time... this time I won't be turning my back on the rest of you either..." Svetlana would give her mother a gentle nuzzle before pressing herself once more into Raisa's form, drawing comfort, drawing in the much needed presence. Eyes would close, and for a short while she just wanted to stand there, to be with her mother. Korrin was more than happy. She would take the look Raisa gave her, dipping her head forward slightly as the ex-queen pressed her nose to her forehead. Even with words unspoken a creature could see the gratitude of another. Could feel it. It seemed whatever walls that had built around her friend had shattered down. The Xanilov family was strong, so strong, and they would stand together again. No matter where each had their bodies resting at night... this family was one that would not be shattered. "Korrin is truly glad to see Miss Raisa and Koros back." The little fox would flash the other a small smile. [i]"Lots of work ahead, yes. Korrin feels Sigmarr and Sindri will come back as well... but there are still things to make right. Miss Raisa... when ready to Ebony us must go." All of them. But there was no need to rush immediately, so long as that fact was not ignored. "Hear Me Talk," "Listen To Korrin," 'Read My Thoughts.'