marked M for violent and bad language, and who knows, maybe some kissing and making up after ;)

The fight was over, but the war was not. It had only just begun. They were both battered and bruised, both in need of time to recover, but they would not wait long. Natalya would seek out her allies soon, to tell them of the woman that had not only taken their lands, but the children of their family as well. The lands may have been forgivable, but not this. She knew exactly who she could seek for aid, and she would waste little time in doing so. But first... First she had to attend to problems at home.



Helios, her beloved husband, had submitted. He had handed their lives to the awful creature that sought to take them, rather than continuing to defend their honor. Natalya would never leave him, she never could. But she was angry. She was beyond angry, and she intended to make it known. She sought him out, wherever on the mountain he sat, while the children explored and others wet about their business. She cornered him, fire running through her veins, before attempting to pull him down to his back by the scruff with a fierceness unlike any other she had shown. She wanted to be standing over him when she screeched, in a voice not unlike that of her raven companion.



"What the fuck were you thinking? Submitting?! Because of you, our family is divided. We stand here to plot our revenge while that wicked gamoto mouni tis laspis (Look it up if you want to know, I don't think you do XD) keeps your great nieces and nephews hostage, while she teaches them ways that conflict with our every belief. Have you no pride, Helios Olympus?" Her voice was laced with venom and tears began to well in her eyes, but they did not spill over. She was angry, but she was also hurt. She had never imagined she could feel such disappointment in a brute she loved and admired so much.






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Helios could sense his wife coming up behind him, only the slightest shift in his demeanor indicating his knowledge. Ears pulled back against his head, his tail pulling in close to his body and his head dropping, in shame. Russet eyes closed and he waited unmoving for something, anything. A sharp hiss of pain pulled from his lips as Natalya suddenly pulled him back by the scruff, the pain from his injuries flaring as he landed heavily upon his back.
As the black woman stood over him he found himself unable to look at her, head turning away as she hurled angry words at him. ?I got scared.? He mumbled knowing exactly that his response nearly wasn't close enough to an excuse, he was weak, had failed her and failed everyone. ?All I could think of was the pups, all of them,? gods but to think of Virgil?s second litter hurt, they were his children as much as those Nat had bore him, ?All I could think of was you.?
Helios remained silent for a moment. ?I know I failed, I know?? He still couldn?t bring himself to meet the black woman?s blank gaze. ?I always knew one day I would..?






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And he was submitting again. He simply let her tear him down, both physically and verbally. Worse, he was tearing himself down. Natalya's expression kept shifting between anger and sympathy as he emotions tore her apart. "Seeing" him so full of guilt enraged her, because it was rightfully so, but it also crushed her heart. She had never heard such pain and suffering in his voice and for a long time she was silent after he finished speaking. She just stood there, towering over him as he lay on his back on the rock floor, not knowing that he was avoiding her blind gaze.



Finally she exhaled, then inhaled deeply, before speaking again. Her voice was softer now, but her disappointment was still clear. "You should have known better. Those children would never have been in danger by you continuing to fight. The woman would not have taken your life. And what is this about knowing you would fail? You are a descendant of the gods, are you not? Why would you ever plan on failing us?" She simply didn't understand where his self-doubt could be coming from. It didn't make sense. Her head tilted slightly to the side while she awaited his answer.






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((Doubling the M rating for some disturbing imagery in this post!))

There was silence between them and Helios screwed his eyes shut, the worst possible scenarios playing out in his mind. A sigh made him open his eyes once more, focusing on the distance to his left. His wife?s voice spoke again, voice softer. That was almost worse; at least when she had yelling he had known he deserved it, this? he didn?t deserve her sympathy, not right now. Defiance filled him as Natalya?s last words left her lips. Helios forced himself onto his haunches. ?Do you honestly think I planned this?? There was some anger, some hurt in his voice. ?I?ve been fighting it for longer than I care to remember!?
He hunched over himself, his voice ever so soft when he spoke again. ?I wasn?t strong enough, not for you, not for her.? He whispered the last words, cradling it. ?It was like the first time all over again? I panicked.? Images flashed before his eyes, blood brilliant on the snow, a mangled earthy brown paw extended towards him, a small pink under formed shape?






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Her head snapped back into position and she froze. Natalya could have sworn her heart even stopped beating for the longest moment as she absorbed Helios's words. She had known he had his insecurities, but this was far beyond what she had noticed, and now his insecurities brought out some of her own that she didn't even know existed. They were a married pair, eternally faithful to one another, only loving one another. Jealousy had never been an issue, never been something she truly felt.



Now, though? Now it flared up within her. At first, she was in shock. Then she was furious again. Who was this her he was wallowing over? What other woman had caused him to be so insecure? Natalya had thought she was the only one. She had thought wrong. She spoke in a whisper, trying to restrain the foreign emotions welling within her, making her want to maim, scream, and cry. "Who?"






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He could hear the strain in her voice, and he knew that he had kept it closed off for too long. Still once he opened that gate there would be no turning back, Natalya would know it all, she would know he was weak, unworthy. ?I had only just turned two years old,? His voice was soft just barely audible. ?We were betrothed, the living arrangements were still being hashed out by our parents so it wasn?t uncommon for us to plan to meet somewhere in between. We were young, stupid, reckless!?
A sad chuckle punctuated his speech. ?We still thought we were invincible, untouchable.? There was a long pause as he clearly tried to organize what no doubt would be the worst part of his story. ?They came out of nowhere, at first they were friendly enough but then one of them tried to mount Abana. She fought it and I leapt on him. I was so wrapped up in protecting her that I forgot about the other one, not till she screamed anyways.? His voice cracked and a stifled sob sent a shudder down his body. ?He was bigger than me, stronger and with the sudden distraction he saw his opportunity. I don?t know if he thought I was dead or if he only meant to knock me out but I didn?t come too till much later.?
His voiced dropped then, softer even than before. ?They were gone, fresh snow covering their tracks and their scents, but not hers, not her blood. She must have resisted, must have made them unhappy.? There was no stopping it now, his vision wavering as he fought the tears. He would not cry! ?I hadn?t even known, not till I saw them. Five tiny pink shapes, their eyes the most developed part of them. They were mine, and I?d failed them.? Helios finally lifted his head tipping it back to stare up at the sun, his voice louder now. ?I was scared Nat. I was scared you?d reject me if you knew, scared that you?d think I wasn?t worthy? Hell I?m not!?
He dropped his head again. ?I?ve never been worthy, but I love you so much. I couldn?t stand losing you. I?m sorry.?






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She listened to his words and her expression continued to change. It melted from bewilderment, to anger, to sympathy, and back through all of them more than once before becoming rigid. She took on her usual stoic persona as everything quieted around them again, as Helios fell into silence. His story broke her heart, in more ways than one. It took a lot of self encouragement and concentration for her to speak, and even then her mixed emotions thrust their way into her words.



"I am bound to you whether I think you are worthy or not!" She practically screamed at him loud enough for the entire continent to hear. She caught herself, withdrawing her head against her chest and, suddenly realizing she was still standing over him, stepping away so he could rise. She sat back on her haunches and took several deep breaths before turning her unseeing gaze back on him.



"I am sorry for what you went through, Helios, truly. But you should have told me. It was unfair to keep this secret from me, about a former love, about your insecurity. It makes me feel as though your trust in me is not what mine is in you." Her voice was soft, but she tried to keep all emotion out of it now. "I love you dearly and I will remain by your side always, but it will take some time before I am able to forgive this."




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It took a moment before she answered and that moment felt like a life time. He could only imagine what her response would be and each scenario was worse than the last. Finally when she did respond he flinched, her volume scaring him more than what she was screaming. She grew suddenly quiet and moved away and Helios felt like he needed to fill the silence, needed to do something but no words would come to him.
His wife would speak again and as Helios sat there, listening he found a parade of emotions marching through him. ?I know?? He said lamely. ?I always meant to tell you, I just could never work up the courage.? He paused, working on the best way to get across his meaning. ?There isn?t a wolf in this world I trust more than you, Nat I?d die for you!?
Her voice turned soft and he nodded, accepting her words. ?I love you too, and? I understand.? His tone matched hers.





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There were things to be done, places to be, and right now, Natalya couldn't stand to be near the man she loved most despite her natural desire that he would comfort her. She took several deep breaths, letting silence settle between them. They had never been through anything so difficult and trying, and she wasn't sure how to handle it other than creating space. But putting space between them made her feel guilty. Her mind was playing its own game of tug-of-war, and eventually one side won out.



"I'll... be back in a few days. I have some things to take care of with our allies." It was all she would say to him, her voice merely a whisper, before she turned and headed down the mountain to carry out her mission.






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