Trica sat on the frozen ground. Numb. That is all she could feel, nothingness. Her usually bright orbs were dull and lifeless, her body limb as she stared into the sky, the night pitch black. Her pelt was a matted mess, she had lost the motivation to clean it. She didn't know how she knew, but it had happened, and she felt guilty. What was so wrong with her that she could have had a miscarriage. A lump of grief formed at the back of her throat, but she couldn't cry. Dry sobs racked her sore body, tears refusing to give her the relief she desired. For some reason, the pup she was destined to have died. She failed her mate and the pup and she felt so utterly guilty. It was her fault and she couldn't change that. Another son racked her body as she sat on her haunches staring at the starless night above her, feeling a connection with the blackness, the empty feeling in her heart. She finally laid down, knowing that sleep wouldn't overcome her, but she didn't deserve that. She murdered a helpless pup. Speech,

His eyes focused on his surrounding as golden optics shown darkness due to no moon or stars showing in the night sky. He approached the mate that he loved so dearly and licked her cheek. She seemed depressed, a mess for some reason he was not so sure. His haunches lay beside her own as his bushy tail wrapped around her bodice, trying his best to comfort her for whatever reason she was feeling down for.

"Trica, why are you depressed? You have been this way for a while now and have not told me why," he spoke out, his eyes showing worry that maybe she was ill, or something was plaguing her mind just as how his brother was plaguing his own when he met the alabaster woman at the ship. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman whom decided to be his mate, and the thought that she was hiding something from him, caught him off guard as his golden orbs met her silver ones, full of worry and sadness for what could be going on with her tonight.

As she felt her mate approach her another sob racked her body. She hated making him feel like this but what would he do if she told him what had been plaguing her mind for the last week. He would certainly leave her, but she couldn't blame him. Who wouldn't leave if they had found out what she had done. It was terrible and cruel and unforgivable. She could never forgive herself for killing the embryo. Thinking these thoughts made her sick, physically sick as she quickly stood up and started heaving, though, due to her lack of eating for the past week, it was worthless as nothing came out. She collapsed on the ground, weak from the lack of sleep and food, even water, as she had completely deprived herself. She didn't care though, she deserved to die. The embryo didn't. In response to her mate's worried tone as he questioned her another sob coursed through her fragile body, that had now become a shell of her former self. She was a murderer, and Suzaro would leave her as soon as he found out. Speech,

He could feel the tension that was emanating off of her body, how he could, he was not so sure. His golden optics widened when he could see her heaving, but nothing dared to escape her mouth as her efforts were in vain, and with a sudden sigh, she collapsed and lied down upon the landscape that was underneath them. His orbs focused in on her and her sad expression-filled face. All he could do was bring her a squirrel and some water that had filled inside a leaf bowl that he had made. He pushed the water toward her and gave a small wine, sadness in his eyes as he could tell something was obviously wrong with his mate. She had not eaten, and her bones were starting to show.

"Come on, Trica," he beckoned her, "you need to eat, I don't wish to lose you like how I lost my family. You're my family now." He lied down beside her and brought her cranium over to his chest, a sense of sadness in his eyes.

At the sound of her mate's whine she lifted her sore head up and looked at his saddened features that were full of worry and pain. Her now stone gray orbs looked upon the freshly killed squirrel and bowl of water. She felt a pang of hunger, but she no longer cared enough to eat. She deserved the pain, but her mate didn't. She could tell that it pained her mate to see her like this, the look on his alabaster face proved her assumptions to be true. His golden orbs shone with grief and confusion as he spoke to her, pushing her small head into his broad chest. She let out another heart-wrenching sob into his warm fur, tears finally appearing on her matted fur, soaking her muzzle and dripping into her mate's coat as she continued to sob. He wouldn't think of her as family one he found out...he would leave her alone and she would die. But she deserved that. She deserved all the pain in this world for what she had done. Another pitiful sob escaped her lips as more salty tears flooded from her orbs. "I-I am so sorry..." she sputtered, sobs encompassing her body yet again, refusing to relent as she tried to speak. Her silver orbs closed with grief and she pulled away from her mate, she couldn't be this close to him, he would hate her. Speech,

She seemed to be hurt, and he couldn't help but whimper and nudged her as best he could. He wanted to help her, he sighed and began to walk away into the den. It would seem that she wished to be alone, but he stopped and walked back over to his mate and licked her cheek, "Come on, Trica, you need to tell me what's wrong, for I wish to help you. You have not eaten in a week and you seem to be dehydrated. You need to tell me, otherwise you will be stuck in a rut all your life and you'll die. I love you, and I hate to see you like this."

Her heart ached when he stood up and left. Better now than later, she thought harshly to herself as she sat back down on her haunches, her stone colored orbs glaring at the ground in front of her. At the sound of his silky voice she turned her head towards him and whimpered. She slowly padded over to the white male and shoved her muzzle into his thick winter coat. She sobbed once more before heading into the den and laying down, sticking her tear stained muzzle into her paws, trying to breathe but only managing to sob once again. "Just-Just don't leave me." she croaked before turning her silver eyes to the male, making sure he promised that he would never leave her. She would never be able to live with herself if he left her. That would be the worst possible death. Speech,

He looked to her with confusion. Why would he ever leave her? He loved her too much to do anything to her to leave. His golden optics met her own as he nudged the woman's cheek with happiness, he smiled and nodded. "You have done nothing to make me leave, and I would never leave you no matter what," he expressed to her, his smile still upon his maw as his right paw overlapped with her own, his tail laying on her back. The glow of his golden orbs met her silver ones as he turned his cranium to see a shooting star. Happiness overcame him as he looked to his mate, "Trica, no matter what happens, I will always love you."

Trica scoffed at the idea that she had done nothing wrong. Oh how her love was wrong. She had done the most awful thing and she knew that he would change his mind once he found out. But she needed to tell him. Her heart grew even heavier with guilt at the happiness in her mate's voice. Another sob racked her skinny body as she thought about how to tell her love that she murdered their first pup. "I-I-I MURDERED HIM!"she screamed before returning into a full blown sob, tears streaming heavily down her muzzle, a strangled sound escaped from her lips as she tried to breathe. The sobs wouldn't relent as she tried to maintain her breathing but she couldn't, she just couldn't stop crying. Her heart raced as she looked at the ground, not daring to look at her mate, certain that he was already gone. She sobbed heavily into her paws, waiting for the reaction she knew was going to happen. Speech,

His eyes widened at her piercing holler, "Killed who?" He asked and approached her, placing his paw on top of her own as his ears swiveled over so that he could hear her a little more. His alabaster tail wrapped around her bodice once more and brought her close to him. The brute did not understand what she was talking about or who he had killed. The thought that she had killed someone made his heart race. If it was someone whom he did not know, he didn't really care, but, all he could think about was his mate sobbing uncontrollably and getting his fur wet from her continuous crying. All he could do was listen to her, for the thought of her feeling depressed and hurt made him feel the same way.

She sobbed even harder at the gentle touch of her mate, she didn't want to tell him who she had murdered, she didn't want him to leave er here. Her heart began to race uncontrollably in udder fear of rejection, he couldn't leave her, he couldn't. The sounds of her sobs echoed around the den and caused her to whimper, she needed to control herself, she needed to stop crying. So, instead of the dreadful sobbing, she started to hyperventilate, causing a wretched sound to erupt from her lips. She whimpered again and dug her head into her paws, resting it on her mate's larger paw. "I killed our pup.." she whispered, scared of his reaction. Speech,

His eyes widened slightly as he looked to her in confusion. It would be too soon for her to give birth, so she must have spoke about that the baby had died while being inside of her. Her eyes seemed to continue to show sadness as he licked her cheek. He was sad about their child's death if it really did happen, but there was a chance that they could have another pup or two, he was not mad at her for these things happen all the time, even though he wished that it wouldn't happen at all.

"Trica, these things happen to many wolves. I'm not mad at you at all, though I do wish that our pup was born alive. This was something you couldn't control, so please don't be depressed over something that happens to those who don't even know it. I'll love you, no matter what," he licked her cheek and brought her cranium close to his chest. The brute meant everything that he said, and he would never lie to her, everything he spoke came from his heart.

Her heart raced as she heard her mate speak. Her skinny body pressed into his as she tried to calm her sobs, managing to force them into small breaths, in and out. Her silver eyes flashed up to her mate's golden ones. She didn't believe him, how could he not be mad at her! She murdered their pup!!!! Another soft sob racked through her body. She wanted a break from her thoughts, she needed a break from her thoughts. She pressed into her mate's alabaster side, trying to escape from the dreadful thoughts that plagued her daily, for the past week. "What-What do you mean? " she questioned. He had to be mad. She murdered their children. A silent tear escaped her orb as she tried to hold it in. Speech,

Suzaro smiled and licked her cheek. He loved her too much to be mad, and it wasn't even her fault if they did lose their children. Her grey eyes put him in a trance whenever he met them. "Trica, how do you even know we lost our child? And if we did, it is not your fault these things happen. I am not mad at you whatsoever, my love. For better or for worse I will always be there for you no matter what." He placed his paw upon her own and smiling in happiness whenever he was with her. He was sad if their child was really gone, and he would mourn the young one's death, but, his mate was alive and depressed. He had to comfort her before he could do any mourning if need be.

Her silver eyes filled with worry as she looked to her mate. What if he was lying to her? Her heart broke in two at the thought of her mate leaving her. She had thought to me about that tonight though, tonight was for mourning her pup and that was it. Her muzzle was placed back upon her soft paws as she thought about his question. She didn't have a real answer, she just knew. She felt it when the small embryo died inside of her, when her body rejected the small pup. It was all her fault. "Mother's instinct? I just can feel it inside of me. I know I killed him.." she whispered to her mate, tears dry and no more to be shed. Her silver eyes searched her mate's golden ones for any signs of regret. Speech,

Suzaro sighed and shook his head. The thought of her thinking that she had killed their pup frustrated him as she gave her a small glare, "Enough of this nonsense, Trica. You did nothing wrong and here you are not eating? We will mourn our pup if it is dead, but you never know what could happen," he stood up and gave her a small nudge, "I will always love you, no matter what. Just please, our pup, if it is dead, would want you to continue living your life, and I don't want to see you suffer over something you had no control over. It pains me to see you this way. Please Trica, we will try again and have another pup, but, I just want you to be happy," he licked her cheek and broughr her head close to his chest in a comforting fashion.

Trica sniffles once more before allowing her head to be pushed into his soft fur. She still felt terrible, but his comforting words had knocked some sense into her, even if it had been harsh. Her eyes closed as she leaned further into his fur, breathing in his sweet smell. "I-I am so sorry.." she whispered, but this time, not about the pup. She should have realized how much she was hurting him by not eating. Her voice trembling as she talked, distraught at the obvious pain in his voice. Speech,

Suzaro sighed and licked her cheek. He went and retried everything with her, and soon lied down beside her. Retrying was something that he could only do and try to make her happy with another pup. If the other one had died, then a second chance should be ok due to the miscarriage that seemed to have occured. He soon brought her head back to his chest and breathed in her memorable fragrance. Her silver orbs were stunning whenever he had looked at looked at him, and happiness surrounded him whenever she was with him. His golden optics shimmered in the rays of sunlight that reflected off of them, and he closed his eyes to catch any sounds that might cause him to be on guard in any way.

Trica chuckled slightly at his abruptness, no flirting or seducing. But this time, she knew it wouldn't take, after all she wasn't even in season and she hadn't gotten even the slightest bit excited beforehand. Licking the side of his cheek, she laid onto his massive paws, finding comfort in them. "Love, we can wait until Winter, maybe that is why the pup died..." she whispered to her mate, although enjoying his closeness, she knew that the attempts would be futile until Winter which was only a few weeks away. She reached up and nibbled his ear, she could never get enough of him it seemed, and she would never be able to say no, but she hoped that he could withhold himself until the coldness swept through, hopefully leaving them with pups. Her mood had shifted dramatically at his sweetness and the adrenaline racing inside her, now all she wanted to do was mess around with her mate, even if that just means flirting. Her silver eyes gleaming with adrenaline she looked into his golden ones, hoping that his wasn't drained. Speech,