The cold wind blew through her fur as she settled herself on the grass. Giving off a sigh, after all she had followed her family through this whole thing, but never entirely gathered the courage to confront them. Her blue eyes were crusted and red from so much crying, and it was all her fault, or so she thought. Her tail beating against the ground, what if he dad didn't like her, fragile and useless. She wished someone would explain to her what was going on inside her mind. She made sure not to close her eyes, she didn't want anyone noticing her. Wolves scared her no matter who they were, she couldn't help that. Groups were difficult to interact with, she had only spoken around her brothers they were the only ones aware that she could speak. Sarka would rather remain silent, she only spoke when she felt comfortable enough and even then it was short sentences. ?I speak?

Sarak

Sarak padded along the southern border of the Willows. He?d had a lot of catching up to do with the family that had taken him in despite his sins and dark past. Surreal had children, Cael and Imena, too. Three each. He hoped that they and his own children would be able to forge friendships with one another. But there was one piece missing. Two, really. Azalea, and Sarka. Kismet and Soren were grown now, living their own lives and forging their own paths. He still thought of them as his own, no matter their sire, and no matter that they weren?t that happy with him; he couldn?t blame them. He was just glad that Azael and Raziel were willing to give him a new chance. He paused, moss greens scanning the hills that led into Emerald Valley. He hadn?t seen Azalea in so long. Had his return driven her away? Was his presence so repulsive to her that she had even abandoned her own children to get away? His ears drooped at the thought. No, however much she might have hated being pregnant, she loved her kids, and after the first disappearance, he doubted she would willingly leave her little ones to the world, when they were so young. The scars left on his childrens hearts were palpable. Why had their mother gone away? Were they at fault? He only had to look at them to see those questions in their eyes. A soft sound of impact caught his attention, his whole frame stilling, ears perked. The wind cast about , and he tilted his head into it, nose questing for answers. There. Sarka. He was off at a quick trot, following that thread of scent on the wind. He found her, his pace slowing as he saw her. ?Sarka, little angel.? His daughter; a match in pattern to her mother, but dark in coloring, with her bright blue eyes. He?d sensed her fragility from the moment he?d first seen her. He?d observed her anxiety around those who weren?t family, and the fact that she never spoke save for when she was with her brothers. Those moments he?d heard her voice had been too sweet to break, so he hadn?t approached. That fragility was greater now. He drew closer, circling around until his body blocked the wind. ?Your brothers need you. We all three need you.? Moss greens searched her frame. ?I should have been in your lives from the moment you were born. But I want to try, Sarka. I want to try to be the best father I can for you three.? His low voice held a faint tremor. Would Azalea be gone for good? Would she ever come home? "I know you don't know me well enough yet, but I want you to know, that I love you, little angel. I love you and your brothers very much. And the only way I will part from you is through death." And Luna have mercy on him if he broke that promise. Walk ---- "Speak" ---- "Hear" ---- Think

The world around her suddenly became much smaller. Her heart beating against her chest making her breathing more rapid. She wasn't as tiny as some, like that green lady, but her immune system was shot as well as her body. She would never grow up to be a fighter. She had trouble catching mice period, Sarka felt like she was a failure. She didn't belong here, and she didn't want to spend her life being taken care of. She didn't want to feel the guilt of being saved, if her father, her brothers, got hurt protecting her it just wouldn't feel right. Just as these thoughts came to mind, the one she knew as father was blocking the wind from hitting her. Sarka's cyan eyes widening a little in her panic attack. Her breathing audible through her jaws now. The world around her grew quiet, and she couldn't answer him. Did she really belong there? She didn't know, she didn't even want to try. Sarka tried to shut her muzzle, but the breaths kept coming and her heart beating faster and she wanted it to stop even the noise was distracting. Their family had grown from her mother and her brothers to much more than that. Those ladies Sarak saw when she had been hiding from them, and then there was kismet and soren who she would never consider her brothers they just weren't like the others. She didn't want to be in a pack, she didn't want to be in a group, it was just too much for her. After he finished, more tears piled up on her already red eyes, her nose running as she sobbed a little silently. She was scared of him, she couldn't help him. Sarka knew that he was her father, that he probably loved her, but she didn't. She was terrified of what she would cause to others, and what dangers posed a threat to her fragile life. She had always been that way, even when they were children she had never played, she spent the time taking care of a god damn sunflower. She shut her eyes and couldn't stop breathing so heavily her chest was beginning to get tighter. Why did he have to say death, the word only triggered more of her anxiety. The flashes and thoughts of her poor sunflower, of her mother the only thing she had known laying across the floor in the same blood that a prey animal did. She shivered covering her face with her paws, could he really accept her as she was? She didn't want to live in a huge group of wolves, she wanted to live in a quiet little den. Someplace where she didn't have to be worried about speaking, worried about giving out her precious moments of breath. ?I speak?