speech,

ooc: set after the thread with him and Kylar letting him go. (that thread has been up for like a couple weeks now so ya know, I feel like it's fair game lolol)

"Please still be there, please still be there..." That had been his mantra from the moment he stepped out of the Arcanum lands and had set course for the willows where he had last seen his family. He struggled with his own body every step of the way. While his captors had not been cruel, he still was mildly worse for wear from the experience. His form seemed frail compared to his usually thickly built physique. The winter wind blew hard against his sides, his legs trembled from lack of use these last few months, but he wouldn't let anything hold him back. All he could think about was Surreal and his children. They were what kept him going, they were his world. Guilt gripped his insides for leaving them alone for so long. This wasn't ever his plan. He had never dreamed something like this would happen. But, now it had, and all he could hope for was for Surreal to forgive him.

He stepped into the willows that he and Surreal had named home and slowed to a halt. He panted hard from the journey, that fact making him wonder how bad a shape he was really in. He turned and padded toward their den, still saying that mantra in his head. "Please still be there..." The sun was sinking below the horizon as he laid eyes on the den, his heart pounding in his chest. Oh gosh, what was Surreal going to say? And the kids? There was only one way to find out...  "Surreal? Surreal, are you here?" he called, keeping his bass tones low so he wouldn't wake the pups if they had already gone to sleep.

 

Surreal

Since Falks mad charge to the battlefield, and her own breakdown on Solstices’ borders, the agony of her mates absence had crystallized into hard, icy anger sunk deep into her chest. Her family was aware of the anger. She saw it reflected in her mothers eyes. However, she never allowed it to show around her children. With them, she was all parts love and devotion; gentle guidance, and firm where needed. Such as a couple days ago, when Regulus had disappeared. After that fiasco, her son was grounded. He’d had a good taste of his own mortality, and the wound on his shoulder was a mark on that. He’d also tasted her fury, and that of Eranis. Surreal knew without a doubt that he wouldn’t break the rule he’d broken any time soon. The children were asleep in their customary pile, and she herself was nearly drifting off when his voice reached her ears. She felt her muscles freeze, and a kaleidoscope of emotion swirl through her. It solidified into a final point of glacial rage. She gently extricated herself from the pups and slipped out.  The face that met Falks eyes was a familiar one; on Eranis face. That cold, cold, cold fury that chilled ones bones and blood. When she spoke, her words and voice were calm, nearly conversational. “Repeat to me, what I said before you went haring off to that Battlefield. I’m curious. Did any of it penetrate your thick skull? Or did you disregard the needs of your family here; your children, your mate?” That cold voice was followed by a slow unsheathing of her canines in a silent snarl. “Did you not think once of us? Of what might happen if you were killed or captured, and how that would affect the children? Or were you too fucking blind to think beyond your own rage?” Hard mismatched blue and gold eyes pierced his, no glance spared for his weakened state. That would come, if ever, after he was made completely aware of how thin the ice he tread upon was. And how easily it could shatter with a wrong step. Stepping closer, she came nose to nose with him, her voice becoming a deep throated snarl. Her volume, however, never rose above the previous level. “If you ever pull this shit again, we are through! Am I clear, Falk? Through!” The finality in her tone spoke of no chances in swaying her decision. She continued on. “If we’d had no children, I would have been fine about you haring off to fight. Hell, I would have come with you. But we are Parents, Falk. We have them to think about with every little decision that may affect them. You didn’t think before you leapt. Now they have to wonder why their father disappeared for so long. When he should have been right there, always there to see and smell and hear. If you had been killed? What then? I know what it’s like to have my father disappear; and he’s still not come home! According to Castiel, he’s dead! I don’t want my children to go through life wondering where their father is and why he never came back.”  She stepped away, not wanting to stay too close to him right that moment. She honestly felt like slashing out and giving him a taste of that agony she’d been feeling since he’d not come back from the Field. "I love you, Falk, but you have a lot to make up for." Her piece said, she waited for him to react.

speech,

Honestly he should have known better than to expect a joyful reunion from his mate. She had been against him going to Sibelle's aid in the first place, why would she have been happy with him? He wasn't sure anything could have prepared him for Surreal's rage, however. His ears fell back against his head and he settled down on his haunches while she spoke, letting her vent all of her heated rage. Falk knew he deserved it, he wouldn't try to stop her. He sat in defeated silence, but somehow he still couldn't keep that small, joy-filled smile from his lips. He could feel the sting of her words, knew the truth in each of them, but somehow... Somehow just seeing her made his life complete again. Even furious and snarling and hurt she was still the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

He let her finish and let her get everything that had certainly been building up in the last few months before he even thought about speaking. She fell silent and for a moment he just gazed at her and smiled. He wanted to reach out and hold her and validate to himself that he wasn't dreaming, but he guessed from how she backed away that she did not wish for him to do that. At least not yet. "I love you too, Surreal, so much..." he rumbled, his smile fading as he spoke. "What I did was impulsive and idiotic and I'm sorry. I just... I've failed Sibelle so many times before. It used to be just me and her. Taurig left, you know as well as I do that our father was a nightmare, we were basically outcasts to the rest of our family for the longest time since we went against Isardis... I owe her so much, Surreal. But, you're right. I should have put you, Regulus, Zuriel, and Faite first. And I will. You and our children are my world. I just... I want to protect everyone and... and I can't." His shoulders slumped and his gaze shifted to his paws with defeat. He was beaten and broken and the realization was something that crushed a very fundamental part of his personality. It was something he didn't know if he could handle.