Alright, so yeah, she'd be doing a real fine job of trying to show Rune that she was worth keeping around in his pack. So far all she'd been to Secretua was a burden; coming into it pregnant, bringing Freyr along... ending up giving birth outside the borders. Then, when trouble came, she ended up losing consciousness before the intruders were even dealt with! As if that wasn't enough of course her brothers paid her an unexpected visit. The gods were punishing her for something, well screw them too. They could suck on her toes. The small female sat just outside of her den, brooding. She was irritated, though that in and of itself was not usual. More than that she was frustrated at herself for being a failure as a warrior. Damaged or not she had hoped to prove her worth to the man she owed not only her life to, but Einarr's as well. Freyr, wherever he was, had her daughter. Their little family was down to three... and Akemi would be damned if anyone dared tried anything with her child. Though getting Einarr just to interact and leave the den was becoming a task in and of itself. He hated strangers now... he hated them because of how he saw Hati treat his other uncle, of the cold words and the fighting. He had been too young to be exposed to that. They should have known better. Gods they should have known better! They had gone through that crap as children too. The female heaved a sigh, glancing towards the den. Einarr was even hesitant to talk to her now. If he did it was just to leave, for it to be just them. Akemi shook her head. This was no way to live. She had proved nothing, and gods above if she couldn't pull her weight here then she didn't deserve to be here. Body would rise, calling to her boys. "I'm going hunting. I'll be back later." A few seconds later she heard just one, squeaky voice. "Okay momma!" The female would turn away, heading off into the prairie. Her single orb was on the lookout for something to grab for prey -- she would need to find something of a decent size for Einarr. He was growing so large... he would be massive as an adult. The perfect warrior... but her? What was she? Aggression would turn to the unfortunate prairie dog she found. Teeth would tear, snarling, ripping the creature apart once it was in her jaws. A few moments would pass in this manner before she stood, letting out another sigh. What on earth was she doing? Tearing up the prey wasn't going to fix her problems. The point was she blew the biggest chance to show Rune her strength... but she didn't regret trying to protect Warja from the beast's bite. Wicked little creature that it was... it's teeth had left a wound that bothered her for a couple days even after the event. Single orb would close, mind racing. She would not just give up. There had to be another way... another opportunity to prove her worth.  Akemi would not admit total defeat again. Never. Again. "Hear me talk," 'but read my thoughts.' "Hear Tiny talk," 'but read Tiny's thoughts.'

Table by:: Keno

Walk | Talk | Think   Rune was just as sour as Akemi was over the events that had transpired along the borders of his pack lands, though his reasons were slightly different. Where she was angry with the fight itself, he was upset that it had even needed to take place at all. What was wrong with rogues nowadays, assuming themselves above the rules and restrictions of packs even though they chose to associate with one? His lip curled as he thought about the scarred, silvery woman and the little red beast who had come to her aid. He had not noticed her right away, though he was glad he had not. Her coat held a stark resemblance to someone he knew, someone he wanted no association with, and he had been all too happy to see her fallen at the paws of his daughter and Akemi. Cousin by blood or not, no Sovaris were to set foot inside of his pack lands so long as he had a say.  That day had made him cautious as well, paranoid that they might have a repeat of those same events again. He very well could have passed the job off to Eirik or even Kismet, both capable enough of defending the borders as well as he would if they put their minds to it, and especially since he was still healing, with Warja's help of course. In the end, however, he had chosen to tackle it himself; unless he saw with his own two eyes that things were well, there was no way his mind was going to be put to rest about the thing.  He padded slowly, cautiously, along the border, his dark paws sluggish and his head just below his shoulders. His blue eyes stared outward and away from the pack territory as he slunk through the thick grasses of the Prairie, hoping their long stalks might mask his body from view for any wanderers who thought to drift too close. In truth, it seemed to do the same for those within the pack lands too. He had not seen, nor, he suspected, was he seem by, the other who tread through the Prairie away from him, only heard the success of the kill and the subsequent rending of that meal there in the field. Curious, perhaps a little concerned as well, Rune cast one final glance away along the border before he turned and maneuvered through the thick grass to find this fellow Secretuan.  Akemi was standing over her small kill, looking rather lost in thought, and though he could possibly guess at where her frustrations stemmed from, Rune figured he ought to delve a little deeper and see if he was able to get some more concrete answers out of her. But not before commenting upon the obvious. "It was a biter then?" he asked rather flatly, glancing between the torn up prairie dog and the Scout. Likely it was too simple an explanation for Akemi's thorough work at ending its life, but it was certainly a possibility. He would have been tempted to go a little beyond what was necessary in those instances too.  OOC: Not sure myself what Rune's exact injuries are going to be from that fight, but just gonna not mention any of it for the sake of continuity and having this thread. xD

Rune came, and for a moment Akemi was startled. She would lift her head to him, breathing in slowly. A biter? Ahh yes... the little beast. The woman would shake her head, giving a sigh. "No, though perhaps I had hoped he would have been." The female was clearly troubled, focusing her attention on the beast before her. The small female would let her single red orb meet his gaze, and she would speak, wanting to know. "Why is it you allowed Einarr and I to stay, after the burdens we have caused you, Rune?" The female wanted to know. Had to know. "Is it out of pity, or do we honestly have some use to you? I told you that I would prove myself here... carry my weight... yet... have I not just done more damage?" The words were not sappy, not whiny. But they were face forward, devoid of happy emotion. She needed to know where she stood with this man, with Secretua. There was a lot of thinking to do... and plans to be made. Akemi was no doubt loyal to the man before here... but she was not ready to simply settle for anything less than her own personal best either. "Hear me talk," 'but read my thoughts.' "Hear Tiny talk," 'but read Tiny's thoughts.'

Table by:: Keno

Walk | Talk | Think   He had assumed wrong, which was only more concerning. His brows drew down slightly as he peered at the Scout, sensing a more deeply rooted unrest within the tattered wolf than he had originally thought it to be, or rather than he had hoped. She did not shrink away from his stare or his questions but instead held his frosty gaze with her single red eye, one that was steady even if it was haunted. Rune continued to watch her as he reclined to sit, understanding that here was someone of his pack who was troubled and possibly needed his help. And being the alpha that he was, and knowing the alpha that he wanted to be, it was part of his responsibility to listen and help. Surprising him, she questioned his decision to let her and her son stay, apparently having second thoughts herself on whether she deserved to be there. Rune said nothing though the frown he wore deepened still, at last understanding why Akemi felt so frustrated. By her own standards she had clearly worn her welcome and had failed to contribute anything to the pack that might warrant her continued stay in Secretua. He half expected her to follow her statements up with promises that she would exit the territory and be gone but she instead gave him room to answer. The grey Guardian did not do so right away but took a moment to gather his thoughts before he attempted to answer Akemi's question and, he hoped, to calm her mind as well. "Honestly?" he explained, "Desperation. When you first joined Secretua, we were but a few. We needed the numbers to hold our own here, and I thought you and your brother might feel indebted if I offered sanctuary." It was likely not the answer she had expected, but it was the truth of the matter during those times. Many who had been let in had been welcomed because of convenience and nothing more. "I did the same with others. But look at how many of them have stayed. Look how many of them have stepped up to help and defend their pack," he stated sternly, wanting her to see things as he saw them. He might have given her a place and purpose out of convenience, but she was one of the very few to actually make something of it. "Your loyalty means more to me than your strength, Akemi. Don't belittle yourself because of one setback." It was much an order as it was a means of trying to get her to lift herself from the funk she had fallen into. "I would rather have more like you who are willing to risk it all rather than those who claim they are skilled and are never there when they're needed."

Honesty. That was what left Rune's lips. It was one of the reasons Akemi held the man in such high regard. No sugarcoating, no beating around the bush. Akemi kept her red orb focused upon the alpha as he spoke. At first one might have thought it right for the spitfire to become angry. To become angry at his words and for merely taking them in out of desperation. But as he continued she saw the truth. The reason he did not run her out was not because she was worthless, but because she had worth. There were setbacks in life, yes, but that did not mean the end. That sentence there, whether Rune knew it or not, solidified the confidence that had slowly been rekindling since the birth of her children. It fanned the flame in her heart, and Akemi stood just a little straighter. Her furrowed brow would cease, and the smallest of smiles would touch her features. Her single orb would slowly close, and Akemi would give a nod. "Thank you..." She would say softly. Red eye would open again, still fixed upon the man before her. "You know... for so long I had been told of what I could and couldn't do because of my size. I knew I wasn't as strong as some of the biggest and bulkiest beasts out there... yet... I refused to be daunted when I chose the path I wanted to carry. I had decided when I was young that I wanted to live a life, not just survive in this world. For a time... I faltered. I found sanctuary here, in Secretua. Before I had my children I was grasping at straws... my own words hollow to my lips. I didn't think I could ever truly have use... I lost my way... but..." Akemi would look around. "For the first time in my life I found a place I was accepted. I found a home. I was not belittled because of my size, nor denied the right to try for a higher rank because my heart held a flame of passion. Earned or not, the chance to try was so greatly appreciated... and the home I gained cherished. Regardless of rank... the fact that I am wanted here means more to me than you could know." Akemi would return her gaze back to Rune, seeming more at ease just by his words. To feel wanted... was all she ever wanted. "Hear me talk," 'but read my thoughts.' "Hear Tiny talk," 'but read Tiny's thoughts.'

Table by:: Keno

Walk | Talk | Think   He was unsure at first whether his answer had been received positively as he had hoped it would be, but was not disappointed when Akemi thanked him. Whether she had been offended or not, she was still able to find the truth in what he had explained, her help and worth that apparently only he had been able to see until a moment ago, and he was glad he had been able to change her mind. Not only was she of no use to him with her doubts clouding her thoughts, but her confidence was better overall for herself as well. She needed to keep it in order to keep providing for the pack, to keep making herself an asset instead of a liability. And since he respected her and her bravery he wanted to see her rise up from despair and still push through to something better. Words had never really been his strong suit, and they evaded him once she had finished speaking her thanks. He could only nod, understanding and acknowledging what her life had been like compared to what it was now. What they had was good: she felt at home here enough to support it and he wanted her to do so. It was an unexpected mutual relationship that worked out for the betterment of them all, and it was all Rune had ever wanted for his pack. It was startling for him to realize it, to recognize in that moment that this was all he had ever striven for when he had thought up the idea of Secretua, but it was satisfying in a way that even claiming the territory had been. Here was the success he wanted, and he only hoped to repeat it with each other wolf who joined them. "Don't forget it either," he added, one edge of his lips nearly curving in an uncharacteristic smirk. The good feelings of making a difference, of having someone know they were making a difference within his pack at the same time, were getting to him, making him feel more calm, more hopeful and optimistic, than he tended to be on his own. And in a strange way he rather liked it. But there was no sense going back and forth thanking each other for their contributions to the pack; it was only what was expected of them, nothing more. Instead he tried to steer their conversation away from it, toward another curiosity that had been coursing through his mind for a while, one that he felt was overdue to be brought up. "Have you seen your brother around at all?" he asked, approaching the topic casually though he was irked by the lack of presence Freyr kept around the pack. That, however, was his worry, and not one to share with Akemi.

Never forget. She couldn’t forget that Secretua was her home, a place of blessings. She found a sanctuary here, a true place to belong. It wasn’t like when she had joined Arcanum... She truly belonged here. She would fight, and do everything that she could, to make sure Secretua lived on. She was extremely loyal to Rune, grateful for the service he had done. Even if at the time he had merely been desperate for members, he had, in a sense, saved her. He showed her that she still had strength, by giving her a chance, to stand on her own four paws. She was strong... The change of subject however was hardly so bright. Her brother. Freyr. The question had been something she had expect for a while now and yet... Akemi dreaded the day it would come. Her gaze would lower, and she would heave a sigh. “When I joined Secretua I promised our burdens would not become the packs... And well... Chaos happened. I have many older siblings, Rune... And they heard tale of what happened to me. One of my brothers, Hati, well, he and Freyr have never been in good standing to begin with. He lost his temper I assume and broke Freyr’s jaw. I have not seen him since that day.” Akemi would glance in the direction of her den. “Zisa is missing... I think she’s with Freyr... I can’t find her.” The female sighed deeply again. “...and thanks to Thor and Hati’s sudden... Visit just outside the lands... Well... They know the truth about their birth. That they weren’t planned... That Freyr is not their dad.” She had been fighting to keep these emotions bottled up, but now the tears had begun to fall from her single eye. “I just wanted them to have the innocent childhood that my siblings and I didn’t... I wanted them to be happy...” She would shudder, fighting the urge to full on break down and cry. "I... I just wanted them to be happy!" "Hear me talk," 'but read my thoughts.' "Hear Tiny talk," 'but read Tiny's thoughts.'

Table by:: Keno

Walk | Talk | Think   He had hoped before he asked the question that Akemi might be able to enlighten him about the whereabouts of her brother, or at least explain to him why he did so little and was seen so rarely. He was not the only secretive one in the pack - Rune knew of at least one other who kept to themselves as well - but was the only one who seemed not to care enough to make an effort. It was strange to the Guardian, especially considering his sister was so strong and determined, always capable of seeing the goal ahead and striving for it no matter the obstacles. Freyr must have been her polar opposite, or else something entirely different. But the subject did not appear to go over well. The second it was out in the open, he could see the shadow that fell over the woman, the way her gaze drifted downward either in evasion or shame, though he was inclined to believe the first. He could think of nothing that Akemi would need to be shameful of. She explained what she knew, and Rune listened with that hard line forming between his brows again, his stern gaze fixed on the the small woman while he listened to her telling of her family's recent events, of the injury inflicted upon Freyr. As the man who had taken Freyr in as his own responsibility, he felt his own temper flare, that someone had hurt one of his own when he was still under Rune's care. It was not something that he tolerated in any case. But...how could he claim someone as his when they refused to return to him? The news of Zisa was much more concerning. As a father, he could only imagine the sick worry Akemi must have been dealing with and only admired her more that she had been able to keep up such a well put together front with all of that whirling around in her head. He was not sure he could have been as calm and resigned in her situation. A missing child. An absent brother. Family strife. Her family life sounded about as dismal and chaotic, if not more so, than his own. It all got the better of her, and with the waterworks started Rune felt at a loss. If his little mate had been there, he was sure Alamea would have known what to do to console the hurt Akemi, but though Alamea might have warmed his heart and softened him up there were still things he did not entirely feel comfortable with. The only thing he could offer was silence, quiet, understanding, and nonjudgmental. His gaze shifted away from her, giving her a moment to either continue crying or to collect herself before he spoke again, still looking away. "There's still a chance for that," he stated, as much to tell her as to convince her of the truth of it. "When I made Secretua, that was all I wanted for my family. Safety. Comfort. Happiness, because they deserved all of it. As a member of Secretua, that's all I want for yours too." He thought about his own family as he spoke of it, his precious, patience testing children, his sweet little mate, and beyond them. His brother who he had never seen before his death, his sister who was taken too soon, his nephews stolen by his father. His mother. "You can't choose the family you are born into," he stated, his tone matter-of-fact though the thought was a somewhat bitter one, "but you can choose another. And you have, in a way. Secretua is your new family. Unplanned or not, your children are still cared for by this pack. You all are." He was sure if asked, his mate and children would have put in the extra effort to get Akemi, and even Einarr, back to feeling somewhat steady again. His children were bright, friendly kids, and his mate a kind, patient shoulder to lean on. He was not sure what could be done about Freyr now - he was sure the man had made his own decision when he never returned to the pack - but Zisa was a different story. "We can help you look for her," he offered, the statement spoken almost like a question. He wanted to step in and help, very much, but only with her consent.

As the tears fell Rune would do his best to try and comfort the distraught mother. It was not necessarily the best skill a male had, particularly even Rune, but the fact he would try just made the small female respect him all the more. There was still a chance, he would remind her. There was still a chance her babies would be happy, would have a good childhood and future. Somehow... They could learn to fit into Secretua... They could grow to love this pack. It was not the same pack she had grown up in, and though her siblings had caused a bit of chaos in the lives of her children thus far there was still hope for them yet. Secretua... Secretua would be their new family. Akemi would swallow hard, giving a small nod. His words were true, she couldn’t deny them... And they gave her hope. Hope once more, to continue and carry on. That was one of the most beautiful things about this pack... It was the most precious gift Secretua gave her. Hope. The offer, spoken almost like a question, would hang in the air, and Akemi would give a nod.. “That would be most appreciated, Rune. I just want to know she’s alright... Even if she’s just with Freyr.” The female would pause again, deciding to open up about something else. Something not even Freyr knew. “I truthfully already lost one from their litter. He was born first... A rather small thing. He... Was swiped by a fox... And I was too weak to do anything but watch it take him away.” Her voice was quiet. “I don’t want to think about losing another child... One so innocent...” The female shook her head, trying to fight back the tears. “Rune... I can’t even begin to thank you enough... This pack... Meeting you... Was truly the biggest blessing that happened in my life. She would glance back in the direction of her den, giving a small nod. “...We’ll find her... I’m sure of it. She’s strong...” She would try to fight her doubt with some words of encouragement, turning to look at the man again. “We’ll figure this out... Again... Thank you.” "Hear me talk," 'but read my thoughts.' "Hear Tiny talk," 'but read Tiny's thoughts.'

Table by:: Keno

Walk | Talk | Think   She accepted his offer of assistance in her search for her daughter, which Rune was glad to hear, though he was quick to add, "The sooner she is back with you, the better I'll feel." She might have been okay with her daughter gallivanting about with her uncle, but the Secretuan Guardian was more protective than that. If Freyr had not been able to carry his own weight inside the pack, what made Akemi think he was capable of caring for himself and her young daughter all on their own? And How would he defend and feed them both when he was injured? It was madness, all of it, and the sooner that girl was returned home, the faster everything could begin to be righted and fixed. It seemed she already knew what it was like to lose a child too. Rune had not been the first there to arrive when she had birthed her children beyond the pack's borders and so had no knowledge about the lost first born, but it was no less jarring to hear it. He could not imagine having lost either of his three children so soon after birth, especially in such a traumatic fashion. It made him all the more eager to get Zisa back home. Akemi thanked him, profusely, to which he let her as he figured it was what she needed to do in order to feel better. He hardly felt he needed the thanks; their mutual agreement to assist one another had already been set in stone when she had joined the pack and then proven herself by helping him defend it. "Whenever you are ready to look for her, come find me. I can send my children to help you if I can't come along myself," he informed her, and hoped they would be on the lookout for her soon.

And I Know That I
I Sometimes Tend To Lose My Temper
And I Cross The Line

The female would give a small nod at Rune's words. She knew he was right, and could even sense what he hinted at in unspoken words. But Akemi wanted to believe that Freyr would still find some way to take care of the child. She put faith in her brother that perhaps he may not have proved he deserved but... she didn't want to think like that. Freyr had still been there for her in ways that others had not in her family, and in her eyes that was more than the others had done. He was, in the end, still her brother... and so she wanted to believe in the best for him and his actions.

The female would give a firm nod as Rune spoke again. "I certainly will. For now, however, I should get back to Einarr. I worry if I go too soon I may risk further damaging him as well." The female would give a gentle smile to Rune. "...and I hope you know it goes without saying, if you need any favor at all from me, Rune, simply ask." With that the female would take her leave, taking the remains of her prey and starting back towards the den. She would look over her shoulder though, her single eye shining as she looked at the man. He had certainly gained her respect, loyalty, and trust. Secretua would forever be a home for those without their own any longer. They would build a bigger, better family together.

-Exit Akemi.-

"Speech"

I Know It Gets Hard Sometimes
But I Could Never Leave Your Side
No Matter What I Say

Table by:: Tealah

Walk | Talk | Think   Rune said nothing as Akemi spoke of caring for her present child first, though he could understand her worry. With his family broken up, and after having witnessed what he had, Rune was surprised the child was not even worse off than he appeared to be. Silence and isolation were one thing, but the boy very well could have raced off on his own already, posing even more complications for his mother and the pack. It made the Guardian hope that there was something about Secretua, something about this paradise that he had been trying so hard to create, that might appeal to them, might give these lost children a reason to stick around and stay with their mother in a family setting that would help them rather than hinder them in the long run. The tattered but strong woman left with only a promise, and the burly grey wolf watched her go in silence. There was a loyal pack member, if he was being bold enough to think it. Taken in on a whim but so invested now that she could not see herself without the pack. A part of Rune was prideful in the revelation - after all, loyalty of this sort was exactly what he had wanted when he had striven out to stake his claim - but he was also relieved. Here was another broken family, like his own, only rather than seeing the pieces of theirs scattered to the far corners of the world he was giving them a chance to stay together, to be whole. It was more than his family had ever gotten. He felt oddly calm after the talk, despite the unrest he had felt beforehand, and with a new peace of mind the grey Guardian returned to his patrol, intending to finish it out in full to ensure the borders were free and safe before he returned to the densite to spend some much needed time with his own family. -Exit Rune-