Slowly but surely Novella had been introducing herself back into pack life. Perhaps one thing that had helped her kick herself into gear was when Fate had caught a fish for her. If her little boy was succeeding in bringing something home for dinner, then it was about time that she began to do the same. A few solo hunts, just small prey that unfortunately had more failures than successes but she was trying.
She'd even taken a couple of patrols of the border, Aslan's scent upon the lands had been far stronger than her own and though she had been proud of her son stepping up and helping, it once more made her feel a little bad that she had done nothing. Perhaps if she ran into Hecate she'd finally sympathise with the girl on the matter of feeling useless, she'd certainly felt that way now for a while and she did not like it. It made matters worse that she knew she could do these things but suddenly life just seemed so difficult.
She wasn't rushing herself into being an Author again just yet. Perhaps she would be ready to officially hold her title again soon but for now she eased herself back into it. There were still darker days that she felt like hiding away in her den though this morning she was up and about for a quiet walk along the beach.
It had been some time since Félicien had last spoken to Novella, or checked in on her. He knew since the birth of Fate and Luck she hadn't been quite right, but he hadn't asked anyone about it. He hadn't delved into the reason why and instead let it be, hoping she would recover in time. But still the woman was off, and Féli worried for her. Honestly he did, wondering if someday she might disappear, just as his mother and father had. That thought honestly terrified him. He didn't want his cousins to go through the same sort of torment that he had gone through himself at having his mother disappear not once, not twice, but three times. He didn't know if he could handle another family member disappearing either.
The young man was patrolling, a thought to be at least somewhat useful to Threar. He wasn't the most active member, still struggling with his place in the pack. He had, with Sorrel, started to lean towards hunting as a skill. He was along the bay, and ears would perk as he noticed the familiar sight of Novella upon the beach. Tail would wag, definitely taking this as a good sign that she was up and about. The young man would approach her, breaking into a trot to close the distance before coming up to her side.
Though Threar was only a small pack, Novella had managed to keep it quite under wraps as to what had been causing her trouble. Of course she still had no name for whatever was wrong with her, it seemed to be some kind of depression though why it would had come on or if it was ever likely to return she had no idea at all. Frith, Sorrel and her children were probably the only ones that had really any serious understanding of everything.
She wouldn't have minded them all knowing a little about it to be fair if she had known what was that had her so down. The pack was a close one consisting mainly of her family and it was probably only this Frost that Frith had mentioned briefly to her that perhaps shouldn't have known everything. The company of her pack wasn't completely unwanted, especially not now she was starting to get a little better.
The figure of one of her nephews would join her now, Félicien. Though he and Sorrel were pretty much identical, Novella had certainly gotten rather skilled at telling them apart with a glance. "Good morning Félicien."
If Félicien was going to be honest with himself, however, it was that he had something up with him as well. Sorrel had already seen it a bit, though it was nothing as severe as Novella had. It was a form of self-doubt that settled within him, making him hesitant now to make the first steps in much of anything. He felt like he would only fail his packmates, his family. But yet somewhere deep within his chest he wanted to try. Perhaps it was coupled with the fact his mother and father had been fleeting figures in his life. Maybe he just thought, deep down, that he wasn’t worthy.
Félicien’s tail would wag back and forth as Novella addressed him. She had mastered one of the hardest tasks; telling him and Sorrel apart. They were mirror images of each other after all, told apart by only their eyes. It was something that would take some quite some time to master, and others might never learn the difference. But still, there were other differences too in demeanor that they could pick up on.
The boy would continue his gentle smile as he spoke to his aunt. “It’s good to see you again.” He would say softly. “From what I gathered you weren’t doing all that well. I’m glad to see you’re out and about today though!” His words were gentle and sincere as he spoke. “I’ve actually missed you a lot to be honest...” He would confess, that smile turning into more of a sheepish look.
Though suffering with her own problems right now, the woman still would have been rather hurt to learn that anyone else in her family. She wasn't really sure if she could have helped Félicien in any way though she likely would have tried if she could, certainly now that she was slowly getting better anyway. Back in the lowest stages of her depression she probably would have completely doubted that she'd be able to do anything good for her nephew.
For now he hid it all rather well, there was no sign to Novella at least that he had been feeling down about himself. It was nothing but cheer that he held in his expression now as he spoke to her, confessed how pleased he was to see her again. It was good to see him too, she had kept herself rather sheltered away from much of the pack as of late, she would be lying if she said she hadn't missed them all.
"I have been unwell." She confirmed, he'd heard right, she hadn't simply been feeling even more unsociable than Sorrel as of late. "But I'm getting better slowly." It had definitely been slow progress, she'd missed most of the Summer. "I have missed you too." She added, hopefully it wouldn't make him any more embarrassed by his little confession.
So she had truly been unwell. Félicien was honestly a bit worried. It seemed like much of winter had been hard on their pack, and even into the summer sickness trailed after them. He felt powerless, knowing so little of herbs and in getting sick himself during the coldest season. What if more wolves close to him were lost? But he was definitely glad to hear that Novella was getting better. "Even if it's slowly it's better than not at all. I think we'd all lose it if anything happened to you." The young man would say in a sincere tone. The woman was truly an important part in all of their lives. Not just as an alphess, but Threar was mainly all part of the Destruction family. Novella's children and mate...
The young man was relieved when she said that she had missed him too, and he would let his smile return. "I'll just have to come visit you some more then!" He would say, tail giving a small wag. "Maybe bring you a present or something. I've been practicing my solo hunting a little bit." Féli would offer. "Oh! I've met your youngest son Fate as well~ I honestly don't know how you and Frith do it, having such beautiful kids. You're truly very lucky." The boy would add, his smile brightening even more.
Though Félicien's comment was meant to be a complimentary one, it sent a terrifying thought through the woman. She knew full well what loss could do to a person, dreaded the mere idea of leaving her children to suffer especially at such a young age. She daren't linger upon it for too long at all not even finding the courage for a response to it. She didn't think this was anything that would completely take her away from her family anyway, though it had certainly taken away part of her personality for a long while.
"You should, and I'm sure the children would like to see their cousin as well." She didn't suspect that Sorrel would follow suit though Félicien was indeed a sweet boy and she could certainly imagine he, Fate and Luck all having a good time together. "Good genes must run in the families." She certainly thought her mate attractive and indeed it was hard to deny the fact that the Destructions had produced many beautiful children as well, Félicien amongst them and the Destruction genes were certainly rather clear in him.
It was his comment on her luck however that meant the most. She certainly was lucky to have found Frith and to have the wonderful children that they had now. "I am." She admitted with a fond smile. "Lucky to have such a kind nephew as well I think." If he wanted a family of his own one day, she was sure he'd do it. Seemed strange to imagine such a thing though the boy was two years old now only a year younger than she had been when her own family started, he as growing up.
Felicien would give a nod. He definitely would be around a bit more. Seeing his cousins was sure to brighten his own day as well, or so he believed. He couldn’t deny that good genes ran in both families, in Frith’s and the Destruction’s own line. Just seeing all the unique individuals was enough to voice that proof. The boy would find himself smiling again, though her compliment made him a bit embarrassed. He was just trying to be a good family member was all.
“I’m sure I’d enjoy it too to be honest with you, aunt Novella. I’ve missed spending more time with the family. It’s about time I got back into the swing of spending time with all of you.” He would swish his tail, giving a chuckle. “Who knows what wonderful things might be discovered when we’re all together?” He would pause, then added; “Are you feeling hungry Aunt Novella? I can go grab you something if you’d like.”
It truly was astounding how different the twins were. Were Sorrel simply did what he had to then vanished off into hiding again, here she was having a pleasant conversation with Félicien who was now planning on dropping by to see his cousins just because he could. Had Sorrel ever done that with anyone? As much as she cared for the boy and could see some goodness within him no matter how well he kept it hidden, it certainly seemed that Féli had the kinder and larger heart. She meant what she said, no matter how much it embarrassed the boy.
"You and I both then, I feel." She commented with a small smile. She wasn't sure how distant he had been lately though she was sure he was doing better than he thought. Novella herself knew how distant she had been, her lack of knowledge on Féli's state and his comments had only served to prove that further.
"I'm quite alright thank you Féli." Novella responded. Her husband, elder and even younger children had certainly made sure she was kept well fed and now she was out and about more she had hunted for herself again a few times. It was slow, the progress seemingly so pathetic in some ways but she was getting better. "It's quite nice just to sit and talk like this again." Real conversations hadn't been a regular occurrence, she'd been rather spaced out some of the time and when she did talk, it was frequently filled with confessions of worries and sadness that would lead to her breaking down.