The woman walked through her dream land slowly, her mind sharply focused on remembering past events that took place in this field. Though her feelings were numbed by her medicine, Hani worked towards envisioning each event as if overlaying it with reality, urging herself to remember what she felt like back then. During the plague, when she saw Natalya’s son die, or when she shoved herbs down one of the pup’s throats. All of the events unrolled before her. She was always so timid, feeling so isolated. She was never a real part of their family. She just kind of lingered.
The woman sighed and thought about how Natalya taught her to fight in the spar. She thought about how Natalya had fallen in the battle and wondered if she could have possibly cured Natalya if the battle had never happened. She felt like her friend had tossed her aside, but she was the one that had left. She hadn’t been right since. Part of her wanted to go back, but part of her resented that part of her life. She felt like it was a lie, like Natalya never really cared for her, that she was just responsible for caring for Hani. They couldn’t have really been friends. Hani stood in the open area and peered up at the sky, trying to calm herself. Maybe she should have eaten more herbs…