She had been hiding.

Sure Mercy had been within her pack lands at all times, in fact she had hardly left it. But to call her an active member would be something of a joke. Since her first season of heat has passed, she had been placed into some sort of rut. The need to do anything at all had left her, replaced with thoughts that haunted her mind. She was a pretty simple girl on most good days, a good fight and some sweet lovin' was pretty much all she could think of. But now, there were much darker thoughts that lingered, their whispered words coiling around her like a dark serpent. That is what had driven her away, making her fall behind in all that she had hoped and dreamed. Mercy would not allow herself to be a bump on a log any longer though, it was time to step things up and become a man. Err... woman.

The last time she had seen Valentine, they had taken their relationship one step further. That had been in Winter, and it was Spring now. Even though a bit of the winter chill still hung in the air, she could put off this meeting no longer. The thought of what they had done made a warm feeling stir in her belly, and she paused in her steps to take a deep breath. Now was hardly the time to dwell on thoughts like this. It was time to buck up and talk to her alpha about the things that had been plaguing her mind. There was something wrong with her, and she knew it. Plus, she felt like she owed Valentine an apology for suddenly vanishing like that.

"Speech"

The meeting had opened his eyes. To say he was disappointed was an understatement. Imperium was fractured and as far as he could tell, the reasons behind the ill feelings were petty at best. When he'd founded Imperium one of the pillars he'd intended to build the pack on had been respect, but it felt like his wolves neither respected nor cared for their fellow members. They were cliquish and divided, and he needed to fix that. Spying Mercy, Valentine changed course and began to head her way. He hadn't seen her in awhile, but he couldn't place the blame for that squarely on her shoulders. It wouldn't had hurt him to make the effort to seek her out, which was precisely why he'd chosen to approach her now. Something about her slowed his steps. She seemed preoccupied and for a moment he hesitated, unsure of whether or not he should chance interrupting her mid-thought. Valentine decided to go for it. If nothing else she would be within her right to tell him it wasn't a good time. Coming up on her left, he offered, ”Ah, hello, Mercy.”

Letting out a troubled sigh, she was about to go out and seek Valentine to talk to him, when she started at his voice. He has startled her, causing her to jump and bare her teeth at him. Once her purple eyes realized her mistake, her pale ears pinned back and her fur smoothed out, an apologetic look on her face. Taking a few seconds to pause and settle into her skin again, she couldn't help but offer him a weak smile. "Funny, I was just on my way to look for you, and here you are," her voice was soft, lacking the strength that she usually possessed. Shuffling on her paws in a slightly awkward manner she settled for folding herself on her rump, elongated tail curling around her form as she faced him. "I have a... rather not fun thing to ask you. And its not going to be an easy conversation for me. Its the reason why I pretty much dug myself a hole and hid in it. Not that there is really an excuse for it but..." Mercy knew that she was rambling, but her ears were pressed flat against her skull as she gazed at her paws. Was that mud that coated them? Maybe she should wash them....

Dammit Mercy, focus!

Clearing her throat, she forced herself to look up and meet his gaze, but it only lasted a few seconds before she tore it away. Shit. Shit! This was a lot harder than she thought. Valentine probably thought she was crazy at this point, or about to snap at her for taking so long to spit it out. "Um..." she finally said, surprised to hear her voice crack. She needed to spit it out already. "Okay I am just going to... Shit. Here we go. So... you know how we were um... intimate while I was in heat?" She asked, pausing again and finally meeting his eyes. "Well nothing happened. I'm not... I think I'm barren...." Mercy's last words came out in a hushed whisper, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip to try and stop the tears that threatened to fall. No, she wasn't going to cry. Nope. "I don't know how to prove it but, I don't know what else to think. You um, you weren't the only one that I was with in my heat either. I know that I should have been carrying pups by this point but there is nothing Valentine... nothing." The girl choked on her last words, head shaking furiously back and forth. No crying. Her purple eyes searched Valentine's familiar face, looking for anything there. Something.

"Speech"

Uh oh. Something was up. He could tell already. Mercy's voice lacked its usually bluster and she shifted around uncomfortably before seating herself. "Here I am," he echoed with a small smile. No, no, no, noooo. "I have a... rather not fun thing to ask you." Nope. Nope. Just no. He was already up to his eyeballs in not fun things. Bracing for an uncomfortable conversation, he moved to seat himself in front of her. There was a beat of silence as Mercy either struggled for words or steeled herself for what she was about to say. More unsettling than the words that preceded her explanation was the Legionary's inability to hold his gaze. "So... you know how we were um... intimate while I was in heat?" Oh, shit. Was Mercy pregnant? Was that what this was about? If she was, he was, without question, willing to be whatever she needed or wanted him to be. "Well nothing happened. I'm not... I think I'm barren...." His mental gears ground to a halt. Wait. So had she wanted to get pregnant and wasn't? He absolutely had no idea what to say. None whatsoever. Obviously he wasn't sterile so he couldn't empathize and he'd never intentionally gotten someone pregnant. Valentine loved his kids dearly, but at no point had he ever set out to have them or, before they were born, ever thought he would have any. They'd just never factored into his hypothetical future. The King didn't understand her dismay, but that didn't lessen his sympathy any. Clearly this was an issue that was close to her heart and because of that, he was saddened for her. His face softened and his ears drooped visibly. Slowly he parted with the words, "I wouldn't lose hope yet. Something to keep in mind is that this is your first season. Not only that, but getting pregnant isn't..." Oh, boy. How could he go about wording this? "Guaranteed, you know?" Quantity was by no means a guarantee - and that was definitely not a thought he was going to voice. Having sex in your season also wasn't a guarantee. He'd slept with a number of women in heat and only one had ever conceived (as far as he knew) and there were a fistful of cases where he knew without a shadow of a doubt that nothing had come of their coupling. All hope wasn't lost because she'd managed to make it through her first season without getting knocked up.

She had seemed to shock him into silence, and she wasn't surprised at that fact. It wasn't like this was a really fun thing to talk about, and well... yeah. Not fun at all. "Plus its not like I was trying to get pregnant, but the thought just occurred to me... I mean everyone else around here seems to go into heat and then get pregnant right away." she mumbled, her paws shuffling on the earth. He had told her that getting pregnant wasn't a guarantee, and that it was her first season after all. The girl slowly nodded her head back and forth, she just had this feeling sitting deep in her belly. "I dunno its just this really bad feeling that I had... I mean I did go into heat so that's a good sign? I have no idea Valentine I just feel so lost and... and I thought you could help. Sorry to bother you with all this, I doubt you set out to deal with a weeping woman." She said, trying to make a joke through her misty eyes and sniffles. Shaking her head slowly back and forth, she pushed out a harsh laugh. "I'm sorry Valen, I doubt that this is something that you want to talk about. Is there someone who you think would know more and be able to tell me? I never really... thought of myself as a mother but having the option not there is more upsetting than I thought it would be."

ooc;// Such poop, much short. xD Sorry!

"Speech"

"...I mean everyone else around here seems to go into heat and then get pregnant right away." Perhaps. "Cascade wasn't in heat when she got pregnant, you know, so if I were you I wouldn't upset myself so thoroughly over my heat," now there was a weird thought, "or my body, not behaving the way you think it should." She didn't have a lot of data to work with. Her worries were based on a single season - her first season - and Valentine staunchly believed it was too early to tell. Of course the only way to tell was to treat her following seasons just as carelessly as he assumed she'd treated this one. "You're not bothering me," he said gently but firmly. "Although I don't know how much help I can be. Clearly," he said in a lightly joking tone, "I am not a woman and I don't have much experience in these things." He paused for a second to think. "I would take that bad feeling with a grain of salt." There was something to be said about gut feelings, but they weren't always right. "And yes, I think going into heat is a good sign." Honestly he didn't know who he knew who would be more qualified to talk to her about this. Any woman, he mused, could probably do better than him. Cascade, maybe, since she had conceived in unusual circumstances and was, in Valentine's eyes, very wise. "I really don't know...um, Cas maybe?" "...but having the option not there is more upsetting than I thought it would be." He nodded. That feeling he could understand. "Please don't think of this as an absolute yet. Give it some time," he said softly.

As Valentine spoke on, she felt her tears begin to dry at his calming words. He was right, after all, it was just her first season. Her ears perked, Cascade had gotten pregnant out of season, and she had heard of other wolves having the same thing happen to them. She was starting to worry and stress over something that she didn't even know was possible yet, she needed to give it time. Relax. Sniffling and wiping her face on her leg to get rid of the moisture on her face, she gazed at her alpha with even more fondness and respect in her purple eyes. The wolves of Imperium were very lucky indeed, to have him leading them. She couldn't have imagined this awkward, terrible conversation going any better. In fact, she really had expected it to be worse. He spoke about him not worrying about his heat, and she couldn't help but snort softly at that thought. Males had it easy, that was for sure. Shaking her head slowly, Mercy stepped forward slightly, before she pushed herself gently against his chest. The girl snugged herself in slightly, pushing her face into his plush fur. "Thank you, Valentine. So much." she muttered softly, eyes closing as she enjoyed his warmth for a moment.

The giant told her that she wasn't bothering him, which took a bit of weight off her chest. Sighing softly, she pulled herself back from Valentine and looked up at his face, a smile on her maw once again. "You were a lot of help, don't worry about that. Although it is amusing to think of what you would be like as a woman." She teased, laughing softly at the thought. She doubted he would be any less of a popular man, as a woman. Men flocking everywhere! Some men already did come to him, and she smirked. "I would say that we would be fighting over all the pretty boys," she said, letting out a playful growl as she gazed up at him. "bringing even more boys flocking to Imperium for all the pretty girls here." Mercy's elongated tail slapped the earth behind her, she was really entertained by the thought. The tears had long since dried by now, her spirits already starting to lift.

She nodded her head when he suggested Cascade, it was who she had thought about as well. And who knew, maybe Revenge knew something about it, or better yet someone who would know what as going on. But after their chat, she was determined to not stress about it any longer. Time would tell, next Winter she would just have to keep being reckless, seeing if anything different came to be. He told her not to take this as an absolute, and Mercy nodded her head even more firmly. "Thanks again Valentine," she said softly, before tossing him a more mischievous look. "or should I call you Valentina now?"

"Speech"