ardent

High Lonesome



Novella

Loner
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5 Years
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Female
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03-19-2015, 10:23 AM
Novella had been so exhausted as of late, and yet sleep had only continued to evade her, driving her mind and body further into a miserable state of exhaustion and her waning appetite hadn't helped much either. Physically it seemed that there wasn't anything wrong with her though clearly there was some problem, something affecting her and seizing control of her life.

Herbs and time seemed to be helping her, sleep had gotten easier and her appetite had begun to increase. She wasn't quite her usual self still of course, further time was needed for that though an improvement was becoming obvious, perhaps clearest to her mate and children. Poor Fate and Luck hadn't had the care they deserved from their mother though, and such a realisation only made her feel all the more terrible, it was a thought better kept away from her mind as she stove to get over whatever had overcome her.

This morning she had ventured for a walk to the falls, sat quietly listening to and watching the cascading water. It wasn't the first outing, she had started to try get out of the den a little more now, finding that it was indeed helping her. Keeping herself cooped up had done no good at all she realised now, and whilst Sorrel was fairing rather well with his studies, quite the hermit himself at times, she wasn't sure that such a prescription had ever entered his mind at all. It was helping though and that was all that mattered. Mentally for whatever reason she still suffered, but physically she was coping.



Frith

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KatG2
03-19-2015, 10:54 AM
To say he was worried about Novella was an understatement, deep down he was scared for her. He had no idea what was wrong, and even with Sorrel there almost every day to administer herbs he felt a fear deep in his gut. He didn't know what he would do if he lost his wife, and even contemplating the thought was more than enough to put his mood off. He really hadn't been the same since the birth. Frith was usually calm and open minded, but now that he believe he might lose the love of his life his brain was more than scattered.

He held on to hope though, more frequently Novella found herself taking walks, like was habit before the birth. She seemed to be recovering slowly, but even with her progress Frith still felt those tremors of terror for her. He really could not lose her. He'd try to banish these thoughts as her form came into view, the sight of her outside both causing his stomach to flip and his grin to return. Had she not responded to leaving the den so well he would have insisted she stay inside, as it was however she looked brighter than he'd seen her all season. "How are you my love?" He'd ask softly as he came up on her side. His muzzle pressing into her neck as he took in her scent and just enjoyed her being so close.



Novella

Loner
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Female
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03-19-2015, 11:53 AM
Novella would be lying if she denied any worries herself. A part of her could of course see the pain she caused her mate and seeing as nothing really seemed wrong she simply couldn't fathom what was going on, why she could be her usual self and just be rid of all this guilt and glumness. What had happened? Everything had been looking up, showing signs of only getting better and now there was something wrong with her.

Her isolation wouldn't last too long, it didn't faze her however when he was around she felt bad knowing how he worried for her and when he was away she felt bad knowing she was not supporting him, their family and the pack as she should. These feelings of failure weren't helping, but she simply couldn't be rid of them.

"Alright." It was a lie perhaps. She didn't feel any worse though still there were times she felt a long way from being better, from being herself. He would see right through her words she was sure of it yet offered no defence or argument for her case, sighing softly as she leant lightly into his touch.



Frith

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KatG2
03-19-2015, 01:13 PM
He wasn't trying to make her feel bad, in the end all he wanted was to see her smile again, he could care less if he had to be the sole provider of the pack. He had enough help from their nephews that he only worried about outside influence when he was away. His main concern was his wife and seeing her recovery. He hated seeing her so sad and listless. Knowing he really could do nothing for her was the worst part. He could say nothing and comfort her in no way that brought about a change, still he would hope. Frith would do his best to remain cheerful around her and show her exactly how much she meant to him. He'd not been given any time to prepare a gift for her this time though, and his affections were all he could offer.

Her answer was swift, and not at all convincing. He knew how much trouble she was having returning to her normal self, but even as she lied he was thankful there had been no change for the worse. He'd savor the feeling of her leaning into his touch, a quiet acceptance and return of his love for her. He'd kiss her neck softly before pulling away slightly to look at her features. He'd push his shoulder next to her own, loathe to completely depart from her touch. He wouldn't press her answer,

"Well enough to come and walk, that's a step in the right direction." He'd answer softly. "Do you think you might go for a swim?"




Novella

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03-19-2015, 04:34 PM
It was all one big vicious circle. No matter what her caring husband did, Novella couldn't help but feel bad for her own actions and her guilt only hurting him, his pain would make her feel worse and the worse she felt the worse he felt. It was not her intentions at all. She too wished to be better, though had no idea how to get there.

"Being stuck in the den has been driving me mad." She admitted to him. How he had managed to cope during his illness last year she had no idea. His had been a genuine sickness as well, one that deserved sympathy though her own state was surely simply ridiculous. What must her children and pack have thought of her?

"Perhaps." She hadn't considered a swim until Frith brought it up, it wasn't a horrid idea though. The weather was warm, though she was used to the conditions, normally she would of course still have days where she suffered within the heat. It was certainly rather warm now, though the temperature was the least of her worries these days. A swim, for something to do however would surely aid her mood somewhat, at least act as a momentary distraction from her pitiful state.



Frith

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KatG2
03-19-2015, 11:01 PM
She wouldn't lean away from him as he made contact with her side, he'd take comfort in her, but he felt like he was hardly a comfort to her. She was hard to console, and though he always gave her a smile it hurt that he couldn't do anything, that his love and their little family were not enough to get through her depression. He was confused, and worried, but he would do his best to hide those from her. All was well in the world, and any day she'd wake up and be the perfectly fine. Right?

He would have smiled at her statement about the den if she hadn't looked so serious. Was she seriously going crazy inside the den? She had been in there for an awfully long time, even before the birth she had been made to mostly rest. "The children are young enough to cope with out you during the day now, you'll be able to get out a lot more. Maybe getting back to a routine will help." Getting up, going on patrols with him. Hunting, teaching the children their lessons.

She wouldn't answer his question yes or no, but he wouldn't push her either. Leaning over to kiss her again the chocolate brute would enjoy her close contact even through the warmth of the day. Surely a little swim would do her good, the water would fully clean her pelt, work her muscles, and maybe just distract her from life in general.



Novella

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03-20-2015, 08:20 AM
Serious was certainly a look that Novella wore frequently these days, when had she last genuinely smiled? It felt like forever ago, now that the worries, the guilt and the unexplainable, undiagnosed depression ate away at her. It showed as well, though some energy had returned to her now she was sleeping and eating better, she had lost more than baby weight and still looked somewhat drained.

Maybe a routine would help, something to keep driving her and keep distracting her. She had little clue whether it would or wouldn't work though making that first step towards a routine was one proving more difficult than she ever thought it would. A year ago had she not found herself suddenly the leader of a pack, she had coped then so why couldn't she now? She was useless. At least she certainly felt it right now.

No words would leave her this time. Her mind wandering to nothing in particular and uncertain on how to really respond to him anyway. She was certainly distant these days, this simply another demonstration of that fact. She hated it, the guilt of letting her family down and hurting them and yet it seemed she was only a shadow of herself and simply couldn't figure out how to get past all of this.



Frith

Loner
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KatG2
03-20-2015, 06:30 PM
Frith would shift slightly as Novella remained still, her serious expression on that he saw often upon her taut features. He could feel the stress and the worries that held tightly to her, and hew knew not how to relinquish their grip. Still he would show her his affection and undying love, because what else could he do? The man would offer his support and his love to her, but he could offer no other solution to her ailment. He didn't know the doubts that ate at her, or the inadequacies that flaunted themselves to her.

He could say nothing. Just as frustrated as she felt would her husband. He felt like he was failing her, not being able to help her through. He would never show it, instead he would hold on to her tightly. His voice silent as Novella refrained from answering. Would Novel or Dutiron have been able to help them if they had still been there? He wouldn't dwell on the thought, knowing very well that 'ifs' were dangerous. He would nuzzle into her neck, breathing in her scent and breathing out his will for her to get better, to feel like herself once more. To be the Novella he knew was in there.



Novella

Loner
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Female
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03-20-2015, 06:45 PM
Novella couldn't really have asked for any more from her mate. Never could anyone fault his dedication and loyalty, his compassion that still remained strong despite the difficult time. She couldn't have been easy to put up with, the woman he had first met and fallen in love with hidden somewhere beneath this suddenly cold exterior. He was there for her, supported her in anyway that he felt he could perhaps that would unlock her once more bring her back to him.

Novella hadn't thought on who might be able to help her further, who might have some quick solution to whatever problem she had. Her parents, so wise perhaps would have known and whilst perhaps that loss still stung was somehow tied to this depression she wouldn't be able to acknowledge such a fact. All she knew was this current state was wrong, she wanted to get better though her willpower felt feeble and weak and her mind couldn't work out how to beat it.

"Routine." Time had dragged on since Frith had made the suggestion but her voice had been found again. "What can I do? Nothing." It was rhetorical, in her mind she felt like a failure, certainly not the Author she once had been. Her confidence was shattered and some truth of that would finally be revealed now. Emotions would begin to take over a little more, voice threatening to crack as a wave of sadness washed over her at the confession. "I don't know what to do."



Frith

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KatG2
03-20-2015, 07:00 PM
He wouldn't make a sound as a less than peaceful silence feel between them. She would make no move to return his affections or say anything for a long time, but Frith was resilient he still loved her with the burning fire of one thousand suns, and he was never going to give her up no matter what state she might be in. If she ignored him for the rest of his life he would still be there to supply her every need and demand. She had his heart then, now, and she always would.

Eventually she would speak, weak words filled with hurt, confusion, and more than her fair share of sadness. "What can I do? Nothing." Did she really think herself useless? She was the reason he awoke every morning, she was the breath in his lungs and the blood in his veins. He would remain silent, but even before the words were dropped from her lips he would pull her closer to him, barely keeping himself from shaking? How could he let her think like this? Had he failed to support her enough, to tell her how important she was to him? "Don't do anything," he'd whisper to her, a kiss given in between his words, "just walk with me." Oh he would whisk her away from the world and its troubles if he could, but all he could offer was a slow walk with him.



Novella

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03-20-2015, 07:15 PM
Her gaze remained fixed upon the water in front of her, perhaps unable to face Frith after declaring such sad truths or maybe her head still lingered elsewhere the water attempting to drag her back there. Even before all of this Novella had known that life without Frith would be a difficult one now she had found him and suspected that he felt the same. The idea that he could for a moment place any blame upon himself was unacceptable.

"OK." She nodded slowly, her gaze now finally leaving the falls though not able to bring herself to meet her husband's eyes it would only shift to the ground. A walk would help wouldn't it? They had eased these feelings before though today was another bad day it seemed one of those ones that left her wondering if she could ever get better. She could walk, though where to head she wasn't sure and Novella would simply await Frith's lead, following wherever he decided to take her.



Frith

Loner
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KatG2
03-20-2015, 07:29 PM
He wouldn't actively search for his gaze, but he wouldn't miss that she had not sought his face during their encounter. He wouldn't let himself linger on the thought though, his focus on adorning her with tender affections as she decided on an answer. He had only taken a glimpse of her world, and he hated that she hurt so much, and he hated even further that he had been unable to help her. Though he was pleased to know that he could convince her to walk, he'd even receive a visual confirmation in a nod as she found her feet.

Of course he'd not expected her to lead them anywhere. If she walked at his side for the rest of eternity he would be happy though. The feeling of her close beside him, he'd lift himself to his full height not willing to relinquish his close proximity to her frail form. A pleased purr would bubble up within his chest as he nosed her shoulder affectionately as he took a first step. "I love you, Novella." He'd whisper as he offered her a smile that she might not have seen due to her eye placement. It was still there in his voice though.

There were many placed he could have taken her, a thousand even, but he sought out that first place. He was going to take her back to the shrine that had first brought them together. Maybe leaving Threar for a few hours would help cleanse her, maybe even bathe in the fountain. Yes, a tiny vacation for his worn out love.