ardent

Another attempt at an Apology



Maximous

Loner

age
8 Years
gender
Male
gems
424
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
184
player
08-13-2015, 07:52 PM

The man had tried almost everything he could think of to get the woman off of his mind and nothing had worked. Getting away from her, trying to be hateful and even spending time with other wolves had done nothing for him. His heart would not change and his thoughts would not falter from how much he loved her and how bad he felt for not properly explaining himself and apologizing. His heart was set even if she would not have him. He now moved towards the first place that came to mind.

The Fern Gulley. It was almost the perfect hiding place, unless you were a healer. It had many plants that provided excellent hiding places for dens and even for oddly colored wolves due to its many colorful plants. The downfall of it was the fact that it was full of useful plants, for anyone who knew how to use them anyway. Calli most definitely knew how to use a lot of them, though he didn't know how much she had learned between the last time he saw her and now, this was Eden for someone who loved their trade as much as she did. Its also why he had stayed away from here as much as possible.

Now he was done staying away and done driving himself insane. He had to apologize to her. Had to try to, at the very least gain a small part of their friendship back. Based on the last conversation he doubted he would be able to plead with her enough to even have a chance with her. Especially since the last conversation was with her cat.

Finally blue orbs would travel over the dark woman he looked for. For a few seconds he wondered if he should just turn around and walk away, but remembered why he couldn't. He loved this woman, even if she didn't return those feelings. Keeping his distance he would gently speak her name as he looked down at his paws. "Callisto."



My other characters are Kathleen, Ravine, Soleil, and Phoenixa(not all are currently active)



Callisto

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
106
size
Medium
build
posts
254
player
Anais
08-13-2015, 11:30 PM
Walk | Talk | Think

A new find had been made that morning, and Callisto was currently making good on it. Valerian root, as she recalled, had played an important role to the lives of many Ebony wolves - herself included - when she had still be a part of them. It, along with two other plants, had staved off the effects of the epidemic that had been going around, and because of it and the quick acting of her pack mates she and countless others had been saved from the debilitating effects. Because of its importance, she had wasted no time in attempting to harvest the roots, carefully digging around them in order to expose a piece that she could remove and take back to her den for safe keeping.

Off to the side, her unwanted cat companion "supervised." The feline sat patiently with a curious but wandering stare, occasionally adding a helpful comment about the direction Callisto was moving in relation to the roots to ensure she made as little damage to them as possible. Even though she thought she was doing a fairly decent job of assisting - even if some of her remarks were not worded in the most supportive of ways - her mistress did not appear to agree and continued to throw irritable looks her way whenever another bit of helpful advice was offered. Not in a mood for conflict herself, the cat fell silent instead, and remained that way while Callisto worked, watching and observing but letting her attention drift when she felt the need to speak up again. At least this time she was keeping to the task at hand and not bringing up other topics that she knew riled up the black and grey healer quickly and easily.

Though as she sat there, her attention wandering yet again, the black cat realized she would not be the one to rile up her mistress today. That honor belonged to their unexpected guest. As her golden eyes spotted the black wolf with captivating blue eyes, she made only a slight noise before rising to her paws and very pointedly turning to leave, offering no excuse or reasons for her actions as she quickly disappeared into the thick vegetation.

In the middle of digging, Callisto only paused for a second as her companion made an unusual noise and then wandered away, her brow furrowing at the suddenness of the cat's actions but choosing not to give it further thought. She had plenty on her plate already just trying to get these roots up and out of the ground in one piece without needing to worry over what had made the cat run off. Better yet, maybe she should not question it at all and count it as a small blessing. She had not liked the cat anyway.

Only as she set back to digging in earnest, scooping up dirt and flinging it behind her, did she hear a familiar voice that caused the hairs on the back of her neck to rise as it spoke her name. Callisto froze, felt her body go unexpectedly cold, and thought then she understood the cat's actions. Mentally she cursed the feline, and though her thoughts whirled in confusion and dislike for the situation she now found herself in, the thin healer stopped, straightened, and rigidly turned to face Maximous with a hard, wary stare. She felt caught between an inexplicable urge to charge him and scare him off or to run and seek a hiding place until he left again. Instead, she made herself ask, in a voice that was guarded and distrustful, "What are you doing here?"




Maximous

Loner

age
8 Years
gender
Male
gems
424
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
184
player
08-14-2015, 01:18 PM

The man had seen the cat stiffen, heard it make an almost inaudible noise from where he was standing. Seconds later it would take off and Max was sure that Callisto would follow it, when she didn't he was partly relieved. Then again she was distracted by the plant she was trying to carefully dig up. What he hadn't seen however was how the healer would react to his voice. The entire point of looking at his paws was to keep from seeing the emotion that always seemed to take over when he tried to talk to her. Even when her voice came, full of distrust, Maximous refused to look at her. Knowing that if he did see her his frustration with himself would come out.

His ears would lay back and his tail would drop as he raised his eyes enough to stare at the ground between them. He would shift his weight from one side to the other as if trying to decide whether or not this was actually a good idea, if he should just shake his head and walk away, but his body wouldn't move more than that. It had been quite some time since he had spoken to her last, or to her cat anyway. Now that he was hear all the words he'd had rehearsed over and over in his mind suddenly became a jumbled mess. His heart thumped in his chest and screamed to go to her while his head told him she would never like him again and to run away. The contrast of the two is what held him in place, he was sure of it.

When is words finally did come back he took a deep breath and let out a sigh before his voice would fill the silence. "I came to apologize, for everything. I was hoping maybe you would let me explain what I failed to explain when you ran away...... His voice would cut off as the memory of her sprinting away from him as fast as she could, stung once more. Again his weight would shift, but this time it was to take a step backward so that he could sit down. His tail would move, but only to keep from sitting on it and Max would force himself to look at her, to see her face twist with what ever emotion she would allow him to see. "If nothing else, I want our friendship back. If that's even possible." He was afraid of what he might see cross her features, of what she might say.

Yes he wanted her, as a mate and as a friend. Seeing how she had reacted when he told her he loved her only showed him just how unlikely that was. He had lost everything by falling in love with her and if he could change who he loved then he would have done so in a heart beat. If she would at least allow him to try and fix at least their broken friendship, then to him everything lost would be worth it even if she would never feel anything for him.



My other characters are Kathleen, Ravine, Soleil, and Phoenixa(not all are currently active)



Callisto

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
106
size
Medium
build
posts
254
player
Anais
08-14-2015, 02:31 PM
Walk | Talk | Think

Like a reprimanded pup, he looked properly guilty and contrite. His ears were pinned to his head as his eyes refused to meet hers, looking anywhere at the ground between them but not once rising to meet her own. Somehow it only aggravated her worse that he would come here to speak with her, interrupt her routine and simply be here when she wished him gone, and then be so nervous that all he did was stand across from her fidgeting in place. Callisto made herself draw in a deep breath and released it slowly. The wary look on her face became frustrated, a frown darkening the look of her eyes as she stared his way, but she said nothing else, opting for the silence to weigh on him more heavily. His presence made her uncomfortable, and she hoped he would feel the same. Especially if he was going to act like this.

Though he still refused to look at her, after drawing in a steadying breath he tried to answer her question, and Callisto stayed quiet. She could not fathom what he wanted to tell her, or how an apology for what he had done would even begin to play out. I'm sorry for tricking you into feeling safe so I could get close to you? I'm sorry for using your moment of weakness as a means to spring my own desires upon you? There were more, surely, that he could have used, but the healer's mind stopped thinking of new ones the second he moved, and she gave him her complete attention as he shifted to sit and finally lifted his guilty eyes to meet hers. The frown on her face was still present, growing more and more impatient the longer it took for him to say his apology. She would have still remained silent, too, if not for the words he chose.

Friends. That was what he asked for. Friendship. It was hard to believe for the black and grey wolf, and the way her eyes narrowed certainly conveyed this as she continued to look at him with open skepticism. "Friendship? Really?" she asked, spurred into answering him by her disbelief as she bristled defensively. "Are you sure that's all you want?" The accusatory tone of her voice left nothing to be questioned. He had taken her in as soon as she returned, broken and vulnerable, from her kidnapping, used her trust in him to draw her into his den so he could keep her close and confess his feelings like some knight winning over a mindless maid. He had been open and honest about his feelings for her, and she had seen enough of it in his eyes before to know without a doubt that he had meant what he said, and more. To hear him say all he wanted was friendship sounded like a bold-faced lie. He wanted her, all of her, to keep her and call her his. He wanted to possess her.




Maximous

Loner

age
8 Years
gender
Male
gems
424
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
184
player
08-14-2015, 03:24 PM

When he looked up at her, he could see the frustration and impatience etched all over her features. It reminded him of the same look she'd had when he would delay a lesson with a small conversation. She had never been one for patience...that had always been his job. Now he found it a hard to be patient with anyone as he had been hard on himself since she had run away. The last thing he wanted was to do or say anything that would make her run away again but, making her run seemed to be one of his growing specialties. Silently sad blue orbs would watch as frustration would change to disbelief.

She acted as though he had just flat out lied to her. Even her line of questioning filled with the tone she laced it with told him that's how she felt. Slowly he would give her a small nod before looking away from her again. "The past gives me no reason to believe you would ever let me have you any other way, so yes friendship is what I'm asking for. You have run away from a confession that was never meant to happen and you made me talk to a cat so I could help you because you wouldn't talk to me out of hatred or fear or what ever you were feeling." slowly he would turn his gaze back on her. "My apology is as stands. I never meant to fall in love with you, I am sorry I ever told you, I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you when you needed it most, and I'm sorry for trying when you came back. I'm sorry I cant change the way I feel about you, believe me I've tired. Hell I did everything I could think of and I tried to stay way from you but I couldn't and for that I'm sorry. I am apologizing for everything I have ever done to hurt you, everything I didn't do to help you but should have and for the way I feel. "

He would stand again, but only to move a bit further away as if to beg her not to run away. To show her that he would not touch her, wouldn't even try to come closer and to show her that if she told him to leave and never speak to her again then he would, reluctantly leave and stay away to the best of his ability. His eyes would search her features as they pleaded her to listen, to actually hear what he was saying, not just to hear what she wanted. "Please believe me. Remember who I am and who I always will be. I would never, ever try to force you to do anything you didn't want to do. I have never tried to hurt you and I would never do so perpously. I love you, but I have never touched you and I wont until you give me permission.

Again the dark man would look away from her only this time it would be to close his eyes and clench his teeth before speaking again. No matter how I feel, I don't know how you feel about me, though I've been pretty positive that you hate me, I know for a fact that I cant make you love me. Hell I don't want you to pretend to love me, I don't even want you to pretend to like me. Truthfully I don't want you in any way but the way you would have me. Yes I would love to be your mate, I wouldn't mind having children with you but if you don't want any of that then I wont ask it of you." He would look at her again this time the guilt had faded from him and was replaced a mixture pleading and loving eyes. Fear of her running away had not left him, nor had fear of her actually hating him. His apology had been given along with an explanation for his request of friendship.



My other characters are Kathleen, Ravine, Soleil, and Phoenixa(not all are currently active)



Callisto

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
106
size
Medium
build
posts
254
player
Anais
08-19-2015, 11:22 AM
Walk | Talk | Think

He did not deny the inherent accusation she made, only voiced her unwillingness to accept it, and if possible the distrusting expression of her face became hardened. So it was true. He did want to keep her as his, wanted her as Callisto had believed, and the only thing stopping him was her denying him that privilege. Though she had expected it, though she had believed it for so long, hearing it did not make it any easier to wrap her mind around. She had trusted him for so long that it was difficult for her to accept he had been harboring these secret thoughts about her, and even harder for her to simply overlook his desires for the sake of friendship. Callisto had spent enough time being claimed by someone and knew well enough now that she was not meant to be cooped up by someone else's will. She wanted her freedom, wanted to be her own person and not belong to anyone else, and just having that oppressive notion that sentencing her to that fate was what Maximous would have preferred made her feel like her reaction to him had been justified.

She only half heard what he had said immediately after, taking those initial moments to gather her thoughts and come to terms with what she had just learned, and reentered the conversation as he went on to apologize for everything. It sounded long and exaggerated to her ears, but as Max stepped away, offering her more room and showing her through action that he would not attempt to get closer, she found herself beginning to ever so slightly relax. Remember. She remembered well how it used to be between them, how he had been the one wolf in all of Ebony that she had looked upon as a friend, the one wolf she could tolerate for more than merely a few minutes at a time. She remembered how considerate and patient he had always been, catering to what she wished to learn about and going out of his way to ensure she got the training that she wanted and needed. And he was right. Everything they had ever done had only been at her pace, at her choosing. And not even when he had had her cornered inside of his den when he had admitted his feelings had he tried to control her, touch her, make things intentionally uncomfortable for her.

It was her turn to drop her eyes, her thoughts swirling rampantly as she tried to process this new revelation. Inside, she felt uneasy. She had been right all along in thinking he wanted her, and in that respect her reaction had been justified, but she had revoked her trust in him too quickly, before he could prove that he would not act on those feelings. She knew why. It had happened too soon after her kidnapping, too soon with all those thoughts of being locked away still fresh in her mind, still the most prevalent thoughts that tried to protect her from falling into the same sort of situation again. And needlessly they had completely severed the relationship she had had with this wolf, her teacher, her friend. Callisto did not feel guilty - she had only acted out of self-preservation, not as a means of breaking Maximous's heart for caring about her - but she was saddened by the way it all had played out and wished, in a way, that it had gone differently. Both of them had gone through unnecessary stress all because of a couple words and an implied meaning behind them.

She hardly knew what to say. With her gaze still downcast and averted, the black and grey wolf seated herself, feeling weighed down by the topic of their conversation. It took her a minute to collect her thoughts and figure out what she wanted to say, and even when she made herself look at him again and began to speak she still did not know what exactly that was. "I don't hate you," she answered, choosing to leave out the fear of him she had developed in its place after learning of his feelings. That would have likely made him feel worse. "But I don't feel the same as you do." She needed to tell him that part, just to make everything clear if nothing else. He deserved to know, even if it was not what he wanted to hear. Though it was not something she did very often, Callisto lowered her gaze again and murmured softly, in a tone that was firm but sincere, "I'm sorry." She was not entirely sure if it was the right thing to say, but she wanted to make an effort. Max had been an important figure in her life, a strange mixture of parent, teacher, and friend, and seeing now that there was still a chance to save that relationship she realized that she wanted very much to mend it.




Maximous

Loner

age
8 Years
gender
Male
gems
424
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
184
player
08-21-2015, 02:44 PM

Max would watch her silently after he stopped talking. At first her features would set as though she trusted him as much as she trusted that bastard that took her. That look hurt. It hurt every bit as much as her running away from him had. If he could go back in time and just do what his father had wanted, then none of this would have ever happened. Sadly he couldn't. Sadly he couldn't escape from that look, but the moment Maximous felt the need to run away again her eyes would drop to her paws. Just as he had done when he had arrived. That action made him want to go to her side, but he forced himself to stay in place.

Instead he would take that time to examine her from a distance, if only to see if she had relaxed a bit. Just as he had hoped, her muscles weren't as tense as they had been. Calli didn't appear to want to run away any more, nor did she look like she wanted to rip his throat out. Even though she didn't look like she wanted to any more, he wasn't about to get closer to find out. Hell he wasn't sure what she was feeling or thinking right now. Since he had told her how he felt, it had been impossible to read anything but anger. Now he didn't even see that emotion. With her downcast eyes the distrustful look she had given him didn't appear to be in her features any more.

Eventually she would sit down and look at him again though no words would come for a few minutes. He didn't mind that she was taking her time in answering him. The thing that bothered him was, he still didn't know how she felt. To him she just looked confused, maybe even scared. When she did finally speak, Max would let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. With the knowledge of her not hating him, he would have jumped for joy, at the very least cracked a small relieved grin, but he couldn't. Not knowing that there was a but somewhere in that sentence. When it came all Maximous could do was give a small nod and slump to the ground so that he too was sitting.

The thoughts racing through his mind almost kept him from hearing Callisto's spoken apology. Again he would give a small nod, but his mind was back in the den where he told her he'd loved her. It shot through all of the encounter's he'd had with her between then and know. The distrust and anger she had shown him, when combined with her admition to not hating him, that it wasn't hate that made her run away. It was fear. Why his mind had immediately gone to hate was beyond him, especially after what had happened to her. Guilt found its way back into his eyes. Why had he not seen that before. His eyes would search hers for a moment before speaking. "I can live with that, but.....never mind" he would look away from her after deciding not to admit to stupidity. He knew she was afraid of him now. Nothing would ever be as it was, he was sure of it. "Are you willing to let me try to mend our friendship, or would you rather I just left."



My other characters are Kathleen, Ravine, Soleil, and Phoenixa(not all are currently active)



Callisto

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
106
size
Medium
build
posts
254
player
Anais
08-23-2015, 04:36 PM
Walk | Talk | Think

Maximous took the news better than she would have expected, though honestly she should have expected more from him. He had been her mentor for well over a year, a constant companion and friend through many changes and trials that had afflicted Ebony and its history, and that should have given her a better understanding of who he was as a person. Obviously her judgment had been impaired by the events that had transpired during their separation, and it made her wonder sadly whether their relationship, their friendship, could truly be repaired. Was she beyond help now because of what had happened? Would she never be able to trust again because she was constantly worried about finding herself in another situation too similar to the first that had started her paranoia? The thoughts were too deep for her to consider now, not in this moment, so she tried to clear her mind with a soft blink of her silvery-blue eyes, tried to focus her attention on Max and how he was handling the news.

No matter how he felt for her now, which she knew his feelings had not changed so quickly, the purple-marked wolf accepted her statement without upset or anger. Callisto could not begin to guess what he might have added when he seemed about to go on talking, but he changed his mind before anything could be given away. It worried her slightly, though only because of the unknown. Would he have tried to convince her otherwise? Would he have said something spiteful and out of character due to his hurt? When he raised his eyes to hers and she met his gaze with a look that was both questioning and uncertainty, she thought he looked sorry. For what was still beyond her - for how everything had turned out, just as she was sorry for that? - but it did not matter in the end.

He knew her well, still knew her well, as when he went to go on it was with a direct question wishing to know what she wanted to do. She appreciated his bluntness, for getting right to the point and not tiptoeing around it with useless chatter, and though at first she might have been confused how to answer him, she felt more or less confident in that answer now. She wanted to still be friends. She wanted to still have him in her corner helping her out, encouraging her studies, being that steady companion that was always willing to lend his support. But... "Can we get to that point?" Callisto asked, unsure but at last expressing a bit of her hope within her silvery-blue eyes. "To mend things?" Could he look at her without longing? Could she finally see him as a friend and not a predator? It seemed like a lot to ask, a lot to overlook in order to fix what had been broken. "I'd like to," she admitted softly, "I want to. I just..." Could they succeed?




Maximous

Loner

age
8 Years
gender
Male
gems
424
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
184
player
09-02-2015, 10:28 PM

After he spoke, all Max could do was watch her quietly as he waited for an answer. He wished to hell he could read her better, but knew she wouldn't show him anything more than what she was right now. All the man new for sure was that she didnt trust him, that she feared him. That in itself ate away at him, even made him expect her to tell him to leave in reply to his question.

When she did reply it wasnt witg a strait answer but with a question of her own. She would give a small pause and then another question. How could he answer that without knowing exactly what she meant. He was sure he could try to mend things but would she let him? And to what point he wasnt sure as he knew there were several things she wanted. Like his feekings to change for instance.

When she would speak again, before Max could think of some kind of answer to her questions, she would admit to wanting to mend their relationship, but her sentance ended unfinished as if she were afraid to tell him she didnt trust him. The fact that she didnt trust him was like a sharp knife to the gut, the fact that she feared him only twisted that knife deeper. Again he would look at the ground but it was to keep from yelling at her. Why couldnt she underatand that he isnt and never will be that bastard that raped her? "You just dont trust me.To make matters worse, your afraid ill turn into him arnt you?" his voice was as soft as he could make it, but he couldnt keep the hurt out of his tone.

After a few moments Maximous would let out a deep sigh before looking back up at the woman he had so unfortunately fallen in love with. The hurt that had been evident in his voice did not show on his face or his eyes as he had put on a thick mask to hide everything he was feeling from her. The only emitiin that would come through would be in his voice. "What do I have to do to prove to you that im not him. That I will never be him. How do I prove to you that I dont want what he wanted? Because I think we can be friends again, but we cant do so if you think that im some kind of monster." though his voice had breen gentle a mixture of emotions had made his voice once again sound like that of a teacher who knew exactly what they were doing but also be like that of a small pup, lost and confused.



My other characters are Kathleen, Ravine, Soleil, and Phoenixa(not all are currently active)



Callisto

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
106
size
Medium
build
posts
254
player
Anais
09-23-2015, 12:49 AM
Walk | Talk | Think

She could not say what it was exactly that she wanted from Maximous, or why she asked his opinion on their current standing with each other. It all seemed obvious to her, or so she thought, but the blunt, forward way in which he answered her, with another probing question, chilled her and brought about an unexpected, sickening sense of dread. What he suggested had not once passed from her lips, but apparently it had not needed to. Through their whole conversation she had been remarking to herself about how well Max could read her, how well he understood her, and here was just another example of that. Even though she had not yet admitted it to herself in as many words, what Maximous said was true. Callisto was afraid.

Her expression became stony, rigid, and tense, but her silver-blue eyes betrayed her solid composure and confirmed in their own way that Max's accusation was true. Words abandoned her in that moment, and she could think of nothing to say that might make things better or easier between them. He's right. She was afraid of Maximous, afraid that his sentiments for her might change the way he acted toward her. Might turn him against her in his desire to have her. It had been there below every interaction she had had with him since learning of his feelings, had secretly influenced her even before she had realized it was there. And being faced with it so blatantly, especially from Max himself, made Callisto feel uncomfortable and at a total loss.

Feeling exposed and vulnerable, the black and grey wolf barely restrained herself from fidgeting in place and shifting her weight from one side to the other. Her tail twitched against her back legs, the only evidence aside from the look in her eyes that she was uncomfortable, but she did not move nor did she offer up any solutions to the problem they had. What could she say? If she knew how to fix what was wrong with them, she would have already suggested it, would have already tried to reverse the damage that had been done. How did one learn not to be afraid, to trust again after becoming so distrustful? "I don't know," she answered honestly, her voice, unlike his, flat and forcefully unemotional. She continued to stare back at him, thoughts whirling, and out of desperation she offered up a suggestion. "Can we...start over?"




Maximous

Loner

age
8 Years
gender
Male
gems
424
size
Large
build
Heavy
posts
184
player
09-28-2015, 07:00 PM

The dark man would watch as the woman before him would stiffen into a mask that would hide all emotion from him. Her eyes gave away the emotion just as his voice always seemed to give away his feelings. The way she was looking at him and her lack of defensive vocals told him all he neded to know. That Callisto was afraid of him.

The small fact twisted inside him like a sharp dagger to the heart. He wished now more than he ever had before that he had just kept his mouth shut the night she'd stayed in his den. Hell that he could hunt down and kill the bastard that kidnapped and raped her. Sadly he couldnt change the past and that he would more than likely just end up getting himself killed going after Callisto's monster. In the moments before Calli would answer him, Max had to force himself not to burst out in anger. He wanted to run from her, from his feelings, but he already knew that wouldn't do any good.

Her voice, flat and devoid of any emotion, would break him away from the roar of his own thoughts. At least she's being honest was the fist thought that sprang to mind. He was beginning to worry that he would never be able to fix anything between them when she asked if they could start over. How were they suppose to start over? Was this her asking him to be nothing more than a teacher again?

Even though the man's head swarmed with unspoken questions and thoughts he would give a small nod as his eyes searched hera for some kind of answer to the questions he wouldn't ask for fear of making her shut down again. When he found none a small soundles sigh would escape him. "I promise ill try, but I cant promise I wont be protective."



My other characters are Kathleen, Ravine, Soleil, and Phoenixa(not all are currently active)