She had left the meeting quietly while Valen tested a new warrior, and would meet up with Lysis Armada later for their patrol, and would track down the exuberant Ash for lessons, but for now she had other things to do. Things that involved a bit of brooding introspective thought. Why? What did she have to brood about? Everything in her life was going really, really well. She had her kids, she had her friendship with Valentine, her rank, and she got on really well with everyone in the pack. So what was missing? What should be there but wasn't? She had spent quite some time poking at it like a sore tooth, long enough for the season to turn, and finally she came to a simple conclusion. She was going to keep brooding introspectively thinking until she spoke with Valen. There was just no avoiding it. When Neios had left, and she'd tried to run off her hurt and her anger, Valen had been there when she'd come home and needed him. He'd let her sleep in his den with him rather than leave her alone, and that was what she needed now. Not sleep, but... Valen. A friend. Tilting her head up, she sent out a questioning invitation for him to join her in the Orchard. ""

Why did that tone of voice send up a bunch of red flags? He felt like something was up. ...but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, now was it? With a spring in his step he lit out towards the call. It had been awhile since him and Cascade had simply hung out. Politics and pack duties seemed to occupy almost all of his time, and with the kids old enough to feel the need to test boundaries and come into their own, now more than ever did he watch them like hawks. And there she was standing among the fruit trees. Grinning, Valentine pranced up to her. "You called?" ""

Valen pranced up like a boy, seemingly carefree with a grin plastered on his face, and it drew an answering smile, albeit a lopsided one, from Cascade. Moving forward to meet him without a word, she pressed herself against his side, burying her face in his shoulder, and just breathed in his scent for a moment. Ah. Yes. "Mmmm," she agreed. "I did." She didn't even try to pull away for a long moment, just reveling for a moment in the feeling of just being close to someone, and when she did it was with an affectionate lick aimed for his shoulder, and not far from him. His proximity and his smile did a lot to sooth the moodiness that had overwhelmed her the last little while, but it was still there. While she smiled, it was a quiet smile with considerably less than her usual flair. Still, it was there which was better than she'd been feeling. "I was watching Evangeline and Seraphim at the meeting," she began with little preamble, a quiet musing. "Our babies are grown up, Valen. They're so much more than I expected, and... It's hard to see sometimes with the bickering Vana and Angel do, but they've grown up so close. They'll never be really alone, because they have each other and that... it's amazing, Valen. It never really occurred to me before but we really made something amazing." And it was exactly that, that had sparked her brooding. But for the moment she remained silent, her gaze fix on nothing as her mind replayed the moment at the meeting, forever frozen in time in her memory, of Seraphim comforting his distraught sister, Vana leaning into her brother's shoulder. She just didn't know how to articulate what she was feeling right now, even to Valentine. ""

Cascade's cat-like greeting was accepted warmly. God, she felt so good, so right, leaning against him. There were very few wolves that he felt that level of contentment with. It would be fair to call him a touchy feely kind of guy. Valentine knew it. He was needy and distant all at once. To find someone that he could trust so thoroughly was nothing short of a miracle. Valentine aimed a lick at Cascade's ear as she pulled away from him. That little bit of distance between them was just enough to let him see that something was up. She was smiling, sure, but it wasn't right. It wasn't quite as bright as her usual cheeky simper. Soon enough he was given a possible glimpse into what was up with her. Their kids, eh? "We did, didn't we?" His expression thoughtful, Valentine sank to his haunches and draped his tail across his paws. The King's thoughts went to the meeting too, but it wasn't pride that he felt. He'd been so caught up in his tiff with Evangeline that all he could think about was what she'd said to him and he'd missed the exchange between the siblings. A feeling of guilt was what he remembered the clearest. He didn't feel guilty for how he'd handled the situation, rather, he felt guilty because of the damage his words had done. The heartbreak had been all over Evangeline's face and that, that was where his guilt had taken root. His thoughts drifted to more pleasant memories. Their children were incredible. Each was so different and unique, so very much their own person, that it amazed him. Valentine wasn't sure what he'd expected, maybe a gaggle of mini mes or something, but he had never been so glad to be wrong in all of his life. "It feels like they were born just yesterday," he commented with a soft smile. ""

She nodded at his words. He was right; it felt like no time at all had passed between... yet so much had happened. "You have given them... and me... a good life," she observed quietly. "The kind of life I wish I had growing up." She was quiet a moment, before tilting her head up to look at him. "I dont regret a thing we have done together, but what I have now makes me look back and... wish I could have done more to save my family. I wish... I wish I was more than just the only Saxe who wasnt crazy. I wish I wasnt the last of my family. I just... wish I had then what our kids have now." She shrugged uncomfortably, embarrassingly aware now of how silly all her brooding sounded now that she was saying it out loud. It sounded less broody and much more like whining, in fact. "I guess I am just envious of you making your name mean something."

Cascade's words struck a chord with him. Really, Valentine could relate. Of course he didn't know the extent of her family's craziness, but the words she used and the ways she said it...she could have been him talking about how he felt about his family. Of course he wasn't the last of his family and he'd never had a name to begin with, but he had a family history and that may as well have been a name. "No," he corrected, "What we have we made. For them and for us." Her final statement gave him a bit more pause. He was very proud of his name and so very proud of the young wolves who wore it. Valentine frowned thoughtfully. "You've not reached the end of your years, Cas. You've got plenty of time to make it into something." She was talking as if she were already gray in the muzzle, and she wasn't. Cascade had, all things willing, several years left in her. ""

Valen's words gave her a mild little thrill, a sense of belonging that - though it had always been there - she'd never really noticed before. She wasn't just there on the outside, a possession and nothing more as she'd been with Neios and to a lesser extent in the only other pack she had been in as an adult. She'd been a part of something, had built something with him. He'd always made her feel useful instead of used. More than just a potential tool or a womb waiting to bear Saxe pups. She gave a slightly giddy laugh, pressing her cheek against him. "Valen, I am so lucky to have you. You are... my very best friend, you know. I've never had anyone like you." Her tone was oddly childlike as she spoke, blinking up at him in gratitude, but it melted away as she shrugged. "But you know the life that we lead isn't safe, you and I. I'm never going to be someone's coddled mate living a long and healthy life staying at home waiting for him and raising his babies. I would go crazy." Crazier? "I'm not going to live to a ripe old age. I could die any day poking at the wrong person or jumping into the wrong fight, and I'm ok with that. What I've already got is the legacy I'm going to leave behind, and the only ones who the Saxe name is going to mean anything good to are the kids." She shrugged again, and absently reached over and sought to groom his shoulder in little nibbles and licks. She loved what she had, she really did. She had her kids, who she never thought she would care about at all let alone love so very deeply, and she had a friend she cared for so deeply that it scared her if she stopped to think about it (so of course she didn't) so... it was stupid for her to be feeling so broody and melancholy about something so stupid. She was right though - talking to Valen was making her feel better. "Talk" "You" Think

He wasn't sure what to make of Cascade's words and honestly, he felt like she was circling around a bigger thought, either preparing him or herself for something else. Even in her spontaneous moments Cascade knew (or at least she gave the impression of understanding) what she was doing and it appeared she had some semblance of a game plan in all things. With this in mind Valentine didn't doubt for a second that she hadn't just called him on a whim. Cascade started to nibble at his shoulder - which felt really good, by the way - and Valentine leaned down to playfully nip at her white ear. Pleasant grooming included, something was up and while he'd take the nibbling all day any day, he couldn't ignore the feeling he had. Valentine studied her, searching her eyes for something that would help him gain understanding. "What are you getting at, Cas?" ""