ardent

Please recognize I'm trying, babe



Zuriel

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
25
size
Large
build
Light
posts
191
player
Athena I

Famous
12-05-2016, 02:50 AM (This post was last modified: 12-05-2016, 03:51 PM by Zuriel.)



She was slowly just starting to feel numb to it all, but she wasn't sure if that was better or not. She was curled under the large willow tree that was at the center of the estuary, her body curled into a tight ball and her tail draped over her nose. Fiate was staying in the estuary so she decided she would too for the time being until she decided on a new plan of action or got up the courage to go talk to her brother. Whichever came first. Honestly, at this point she didn't know if she could stomach ever getting up again, much less reliving the incident so that she could tell Regulus what happened. She knew her brother was going to want to know what happened. He was going to be so furious. And it was her fault.

It had been a couple of days since she had run into her sister and she had just been feeling increasingly worse since then. Not just emotionally, but... Gods, she didn't want to think about it. A dreadful certainty was planted in her about the situation, no matter how much she wanted to be wrong. She was a healer, she knew all the symptoms. She had been awake since early this morning with her stomach churned with nausea. She never wanted to leave home again. Never.

"Talk" "You" Think



Lior

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
135
size
Small
build
Medium
posts
95
player
12-06-2016, 12:43 PM
Lior tucked her chin and stared down at the raven. It was staring at her. Creepily. With a squawk the bird opened it's beak and called up to the she wolf in words she did not understand. She continued on away from the fallen log. In her previous years she would've taken the time to collect herbs for Donostrea, would've taught her nieces and nephews all about healing and describe at how noble of a craft it was despite the fact that she was terrible at it. If anything she knew that what moss, dirt, trillium and aloe did and that was all well and good but her education in the arts hadn't exactly been the most informed. A lot of guesswork had been undertaken as a rogue. Even more on the shores of a now dead pack as a reliable teacher was nowhere to be found. Lior could at least remember a few good times before she had departed from the pack to head up north, the diagnosis that her sister Anais was pregnant was by far the high point and it all had gone downhill from there.

Paws mucked through the slushy marsh. Torn ears listened to the hundreds of birds calling throughout the estuary. Her scruff began to tingle as the female stepped around a partially submerged log as thoughts turned to reminding herself the being by herself wasn't such a good idea. Not after last time. Lior closed her eyes and willed the sensation of hot breath on the back of her neck to go away along with the feeling of a dark pelt mingling through the fur of her back day after day after.

Lior opened her eyes and let out a slow breath through her nose. Once. Twice. Clearing her mind of that trip up north more than a year ago. That good willed venture had been a very bad idea to say the least. A dark dog. A very dark dog had gotten himself a nice plaything, a far stupider woman in his clutches and for months did as he willed with her until one day she was given a chance to leave. What had emerged from the cave to return to her home in the south was a broken she-wolf. Lior lashed her tail as she stepped onto the banks of the center island and reminded herself as she did each day that it was over. Her family had taken care of her. Physical abuse and rape had changed her. But her family's love had also been a blessing after the ordeal. The physical damage would never be undone but Lior didn't care. Her mind had gathered itself up again to try the world and it's trials with a far more cautious and optimistic step. Thoughts were interrupted as she rounded the lone tree on the island and drew to a halt to stare at the other wolf that had been tucked away.

She was not alone.

[Image: lior_by_reflectedmemories-d8khd2n.png]




Zuriel

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
25
size
Large
build
Light
posts
191
player
Athena I

Famous
12-06-2016, 11:17 PM



The sound of paws slushing through the marsh near the land she was resting on made her blood run cold. Her ears were perked forward to listen, but the rest of her body was frozen still. She kept willing her legs to move, to pick her up and send her running back toward Celestial or at least to Faite's den, but her fear kept her muscles locked up as her heart hammered away at her chest. That sound of paws moving through marshy water went away and she held her breath with her two-toned eyes wide, praying that whoever it was wouldn't find her here.

Moments later though a mostly gray and white woman rounded the tree and their eyes met. Zuriel let her breath out in a shaky sigh as the relief washed over her. Perhaps it was still naive of her still to think that women were less of a threat, but the idea of running into a male stranger again terrified her. "H-Hello," she said, her ears flicking when she heard the shake in her voice. Was this what she was doomed to be now? She uncurled herself a bit, pulling herself up into a sitting position on her haunches. She kept the woman in view the whole time though, just to be safe. "Sorry, I wasn't sure who was there. I'm Zuriel. Who are you?"

"Talk" "You" Think



Lior

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
135
size
Small
build
Medium
posts
95
player
12-08-2016, 01:14 PM
Lior didn't quite know what to think of seeing another wolf here of all places. Birds were everywhere. Their calls and cries made for a rather unlikely place of melancholy or exploration. But then why was she herself here? Herbs? No. Was her fathers wanderlust growing thicker in her veins after a year of being frightened of the world and being in the company of her family drive her away for a few days for some solace? Yes. Fallers Fjord had become her family's home and a good stretch of the legs had been needed so long as it wasn't North. The woman before her was the first stranger Lior had come across in this proximity as thought turned to this encounter.

Words nearly failed her as this woman spoke a greeting. A gentle bow of her grey head dipped her torn ears in the darker she wolf's direction in silent greeting. "I am Lior, Zuriel." The name rolled off the tongue in a peculiar way, even as her posture took to hesitance as she struggled on what to do next. It seemed awfully rude to just leave even as Zuriel seated herself. Lior gave a glance around her surroundings and eased back onto her rump in kind to the other woman's manner. "Do you have a last name Zuriel? Mine is Carlier." Could be considered a strange last name but then again so could this woman's. Lior's muzzle tipped further towards the woman as she took a step towards her. Pack wolf. "Why are you all curled up in a place like this?" Lior visibly tilted her head and blinked at the revelation as to why the woman would be here in such a place if it was some solace that was needed right now. With a sigh Lior sat down, ruined scruff bristling along shoulders as her head stooped and awaited the she wolf's response.

[Image: lior_by_reflectedmemories-d8khd2n.png]




Zuriel

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
25
size
Large
build
Light
posts
191
player
Athena I

Famous
12-08-2016, 01:43 PM



Zuriel was still assessing the woman across from her even while Lior introduced herself. At the question of her last name, Zuriel gave a small nod and replied, "Yes, it's Adravendi. Nice to meet you, Lior." She tried to make herself relax a bit. There was no reason to be so on edge, or at least she didn't think so as of now. She rolled her shoulders as she tried to shake out some of the tension trapped in her muscles. It was almost frustrating in a way to not have more control over her own emotions. They had been running rampant with instinct-driven responses at the smallest of noises or movements lately. She was already growing tired of jumping at every little shift in the breeze.

Her ears shifted toward her new acquaintance when she spoke again, asking about why she was curled up here. She glanced at the estuary around them, realizing this probably wasn't the first choice of most for a resting place. It was quite marshy and the bird sounds were pretty loud at times. "More out of convenience than anything I guess," she replied with a small shrug while her gaze came back to rest on Lior. "Most of my family lives in the pack over there." She made a small motion with her head toward Celestial, "I left a while back to do some exploring and soul searching, but I um... I had to come back recently. I just... haven't been able to face my brother yet. And my sister is here in the estuary with her new pups so I've been staying with her." Of course she wouldn't just spill all her gritty details on a stranger. She didn't want to drag others that weren't her family into her mess. "Besides, the bird song is kind of a nice distraction at times. I haven't been feeling well the last new days so it gives me something else to focus on."

"Talk" "You" Think



Lior

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
135
size
Small
build
Medium
posts
95
player
12-11-2016, 06:06 PM
So, Zureil Adravendi was the name of the wolf before her. Lior couldn't remember the last time she had heard the last name outside of being a pup. "Likewise." Lior spoke politely as the mutual exchange got away. It had been so long since another non family wolf had been spoken to that she almost apologized for being so abrupt, almost accusing in tone of voice as the two settled in to meet one another. Gauge the situation. Lior sighed and took a deep breath. She was overthinking this. Overthinking that someone out here by themselves would want to do her ill all secluded away in such a place. Certainly less intimidating with a pack knowingly close by. Lior unclenched her toes from the damp earth as she noticed herself going to back to the time and place where her life had changed. The massive slabs of stone in the north had hid the dark dog and it had been relatively easy for him to take her away. This time Lior had told her family which direction she was going and when she planned to be back. Zuriel had been exploring and soul searching before coming back to the pack. Wasn't that what the grey woman was doing right now ever since the majority of the fear has gone away?

Lior listened further as Zuriel mentioned delaying a talk with her brother and that her sister had just had pups. She stood and peered in the direction of the pack, ears swiveling to listen to the darker headed woman as the avians chirped and twittered. "What does your bother need to be told about?" A bit of curiosity had been peaked. If it was pack business they by all means Zuriel could tell her to piss right off but if it wasn't then it never hurt to learn something new. Besides, they were strangers in everything but name. If it was some advice they by all means Lior could lend some wisdom despite it sounding that this a bit more pack related. Make a mutual trade from rogue to pack wolf, nobody else being around as far as she knew. And if it was an herb that was needed to help Zuriel feel better than Lior was sure she could find something around here despite abandoning the healing practice and maintain this unexpected chatting opportunity that had literally been stumbled across. Cannabis could certainly help with talking to someone. Certainly could use it for dealing with her brother...

[Image: lior_by_reflectedmemories-d8khd2n.png]




Zuriel

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
25
size
Large
build
Light
posts
191
player
Athena I

Famous
12-12-2016, 08:05 PM



Zuriel appreciated that the woman listened to her as she rambled a bit. She didn't think much of Lior's shortness. Zuriel couldn't say she was the best at being personable so she couldn't blame the woman at all. If she wasn't so desperate for a moment of normal interaction with someone she probably wouldn't have tried to have a conversation with Lior at all. However, the only other wolf Zuriel had really interacted with recently was Faite. While that wasn't a problem, it was still nice to go through the motions of normalcy.

Her ears flicked uncertainly when Lior asked what she needed to tell her brother. For a moment she thought about just saying that it was nothing and moving on, but... This could be an opportunity to practice talking about it. She had to learn how to let the skeletons out of her closet at some point. She couldn't hide them forever, especially since it looked like she was going to have some children to deal with out of it all. Just the thought of pups made her already uneasy stomach churn, but there was no fixing it now.

"Um... I have to tell him about a... run in I had with a guy," she started as her paws shuffled against the ground slightly. She kept reminding herself that this woman was pretty much a stranger to her and it didn't cost her anything to tell her about this. She couldn't quite meet Lior's gaze though as she spoke, eventually letting her gaze just drift down to the ground. "I um... Well, I'm pregnant... because someone forced themselves on me." She sighed as the truth got out into the open. It was the first time she had admitted that out loud to anyone. Faite knew what happened, but Zuriel hadn't told her yet that she was growing more and more certain that she was pregnant.

"I'm going to have to tell my brother, there's no way around it with me suddenly having pups, but... This guy, he was so massive and had all these scars from bear attacks and fighting mountain lions... I don't want my family to get hurt cause of me and I just know my brother won't let it go." She sighed softly again and pulled her gaze up to Lior's face. "I'm sorry for just dumping this on you, I just needed to get it out in the open to someone."

"Talk" "You" Think



Lior

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
135
size
Small
build
Medium
posts
95
player
12-23-2016, 01:07 PM (This post was last modified: 01-07-2017, 10:44 PM by Lior.)
Lior listened as Zuriel explained what needed to be told to her brother. For a moment when a male was mentioned the grey woman felt her heart flutter at the prospect of outside love, something perhaps forbidden in the pack over yonder and grew ever curious. But the other wolf was looking away as she spoke further of pregnancy. And of rape. All at once Lior's whole body tensed and she inhaled sharply as the thoughts and memories of her own ordeal came crashing back into existence. She remembered the cave, the feeling of fangs holding her neck and doing what she must to survive day after day until it had at last ended. Broken toes hadn't stopped her from carrying her all the way back to her family and for the better part of a year remained a shivering wreck that dealt with nightmares every time she closed her eyes as her siblings cared for her.

Zuriel went on about pups and fears and Lior could only nod with welling eyes. The pack wolf trailed off and with a dash forward the grey woman wrapped her neck around the one who knew what it was like. "Tell him. Tell everyone. The man who took me never stopped." Lior hushed against Zuriel's ear. She herself was trying not to cry as the seething angry fought the sorrow of old memories bullying their way into light again after being forgotten. Sure she had mused about them this day, but it was the clarity of the recollections as Zuriel brought up what was nagging her that finally tipped everything on its head for Lior.

"I know what it's like Zuriel and don't be sorry. Don't make the same mistakes I did and keep it hidden and pretend it didn't happen. Wolves fight together. You have a whole pack to help and this male, who may fight bears and mountain lions, stupidly fought them alone." A vengeful grin, as much directed at the thought of her rapist, creased her lips at the justice she wanted Zuriel to have from all of this. Lior broke away and sat on her haunches with a shuffle of her paws. "I'm sorry. It's just everything came back for me and I didn't want you to go to the place my thoughts took me." Lior tipped her head back and swallowed as she listened to the avian flocks calling all around them. It was her hope that Zuriel would tell the right wolves of what happened.

[Image: lior_by_reflectedmemories-d8khd2n.png]




Zuriel

Somnium

age
7 Years
gender
Female
gems
25
size
Large
build
Light
posts
191
player
Athena I

Famous
12-23-2016, 08:26 PM



Zuriel was stunned when Lior rushed forward to embrace her, her eyes wide as she blinked with surprise. At the other woman's words though a realization dawned on her. Something like this had happened to Lior as well. Zuriel was overwhelmed with emotion as she returned the woman's embrace while her ears flicked down against her head. It had never even occurred to her that this could happen to someone else. She had felt so completely alone in this. Faite had done her best to support her and care for her of course, but Zuriel knew her sister wouldn't really know what she was feeling. Suddenly Zuriel went from feeling like Lior was a pleasant acquaintance to feeling like she might be the only woman she could really talk about this with.

Zuriel nodded quietly as tears welled in her eyes to Lior's insistence that Zuriel not make her mistakes and to not keep this hidden. Lior was right. As long as she could keep Regulus from rushing off to fight this man on his own they could face it together. Her watery gaze found Lior's again as the woman stepped back again, a slight smile touching her lips. For a few moments she didn't know what to say. "Thank you," she said softly after letting the bird song around them fill the silence for a bit. "And... And I will. Tell him I mean." She hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words to say. She had never been the best at socializing and all of this certainly haddn't helped. "Is it strange for me to say that I'm glad I don't feel so... alone now?"

"Talk" "You" Think



Lior

Loner

age
5 Years
gender
Female
gems
135
size
Small
build
Medium
posts
95
player
01-07-2017, 10:44 PM
Lior felt as tense as a coiled spring and her paws kneaded against the ground as she felt Zuriel reciprocate her comforting touch. There was help out there for Zuriel, Lior knew. A pack was strong to last in these lands for any duration. Hopefully the other wolf would truly do the right thing and get help. Vengeance and justice if possible though that was more in lines of what Lior wanted for her own tormentor. It however would never be achieved as she had tried more than once to fight only to fail dismally as the shear size of the man was more than a contender to put up with whatever resistance she'd offered more than a year ago. Zuriel spoke her thanks and Lior felt glad that her sudden and sloppy admissions for comfort and advice were resonating with the beginning motions of recovery from what had happened.

She of all things wished that Donostrea had stuck around. Maybe she would've done something in terms of asking for help instead of simply returning to her family one day and remaining quiet about her ordeal. "No it's not. I felt the same way for a long time. Even upon meeting you I'm finally glad in a strange way that it's not just me. Horrible it had to happen to someone so pretty..." Lior trailed off as memories came back. "But I don't think I had a worry about pups after the first few weeks, I don't think I'll ever have to worry about having children unfortunately." Lior didn't know what Zuriel felt inside of her that had caused such a thought. Then again she didn't know the time frame in which things had happened. At least her brothers and sister had let Lior help raise their young just as Zuriel had a sister and pack that would help raise hers.

[Image: lior_by_reflectedmemories-d8khd2n.png]