Cold clutched bitterly at his core with razor sharp talons. Winter in the north was a death sentence for the fairweather herald. It had taken a sudden shock of steam, rising up from the earth, to lead him here. Underground, the molten blood of the earth bubbled freely through an open vein. The golden male lounged, uncharacteristically languid, near the glowing banks. It had been out of obligation to his family that he had lingered this far from the equator. After that fateful reunion, Gabriel had been determined to stick close. Even if they didn't want him, he felt the need to repay his debts to the fractured family. Samael had vanished after his declarations. Somehow, the herald had found himself missing his younger brother. The attachment hadn't faded over time, it seemed. Not like when the Lord had cast him out so cruelly. Instead, he only felt an ache in his chest to be around his siblings. They had all disappeared, leaving him entirely alone. Pale toes rested near the edge of the river, seeking to banish the frozen numbness. His belly was warming, basking in the blessed heat. The ends of his golden fur were curling as they dried, free of the clinging snowflakes. The very ground beneath him was blissfully warm. Despite the cool draft that dared worm its way through the tunnel from above ground, he was content. Sightless gaze was heavily lidded, unmarred cheek pressed against the stone floor. Those sweet little children. Meeting little Dominika had been a blessing. Her sweet, lilting voice had been a hymn to his ears. So vastly different from the elder litter, who loathed his very existence. Rightfully so, as he felt the same bubbling hatred for himself when he was around them. Samael's new brood had stirred something within him. The desire for children of his own. A dream that would never come to fruition. He could never love a woman. Never sire progeny. The impossible weight of that sin sat itself upon his chest, forcing the breath from him in one long sigh. Footsteps. Thumping an easy stride down the incline of the tunnel. A scent wafted into his dark nostrils, familiarity bleeding into his core. Softly, he hummed. Chiseled crown would lift, seeking to aim his snout towards the entrance to the cavern. "Luc-" he shook his head. "Samael." He crooned in greeting, vocals warmed by affection. "Come here, I'm freezing. You're always so warm." For once, he was desperate to feel his brother's body beside his own. He needed to leach the heat from his form to banish the chill from his own core. "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" I'M CALLING YOU FROM THE FUTURE TO LET YOU KNOW WE MADE A MISTAKE

Finding Gabriel was his most challenging trial yet. Not that it was difficult to do, just that he knew what was to come. Gabe would hate him. His paws lead him to find the herald, warming himself by the heat of  volcanic river. Haunted eyes watched quietly, paws stopping some distance away. Gabe looked, happy, for once. Though something still seemed sad about him. Why was it his brother, nay, the love he pined after, could never find true happiness? Was such a thing fair to even ask him to find? It wasn't fair the things Sam had to tell his brother today. But it had to be him, he didn't wish gabe to hear it from another source. His rother had seen to Dominika's face after she was maimed in such ways by Abba. But did Gabe understand the decisions that had weighted Sam down? Could he ask his brother to forgive him? Raphael never would he knew. Uriel would not either, but Abba had been his father too. At one point Sam had thought he would never love another the way he had Abba. He moved forward, his brother beconing him to his side. His brother admitted his cold core to the air around them. His ears pressed back. Could he do this? Shatter his brother's sanctuary? Ask then for forgveness? Or should he reverse the order of such things? His mouth felt dry to him, though he knew it wasn't truly dry. His heart hammered in his chest. The way Gabriel had finally called him not by Lucifer but by his name. He didn't know if he could do this but he knew he would regret if Gabe heard it from another source. He slowly lowered himself to lay with his brother, curling aroung him, carefully. HE knew not to suggest they warm up a better way, but damned if he didn't want to. His tongue came to carress his brother's shoulderblades. Bathing him but not speaking, for he knew not what to say to even broach such a topic that lay upon his mind. "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" Just a little bad habit That you hide from your friends

There was a long pause. Hesitation. Perhaps the herald had crossed the line. After all, it wasn't long ago that his brother had admitted his sinful desire towards him. Had he not gotten over his feelings? The muddled scents of the family clung to his pelt, as his brother took a step closer. Without argument, Samael curled up against his back. The warm press of his solid chest against Gabriel's back was comforting. Once upon a time, the herald had curled himself up around the younger children and kept them warm at night. Sung them soft songs and lullabies, told them great tales of adventure until they tumbled into slumber. To have the favour returned was pleasant. The gentle lave of his brother's tongue over his shoulders was more than he'd requested, but he didn't ask him to stop. Instead, he lifted his cheek to rest it on Samael's elbow, where it curled next to his head. Another scent wafted into his nostrils. "Brother?" he questioned softly, angling his snout so it pushed into the air. A few more cautious sniffs. That was definitely blood. Old blood. Worry creased his brow. "Are you alright?" His vocals were gentle, hesitant. Perhaps he had simply caught himself a meal before arriving. A frantic pulse beat a staccato against his spine. What was wrong? Was Samael alright? "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" I'M CALLING YOU FROM THE FUTURE TO LET YOU KNOW WE MADE A MISTAKE

Gabe posed no resistance to the more intimate touch Sam provided and sam took this as a sign to proceed. Gabes head moved to rest close to Sam's chest, a few inches more and is nose would be brushing the scabs and evidence of his battle with Abba. HE moved his lathing tongue up to the base of Gabe's ear, testing his limits with his brother. His teeth, gentle as he could be, nipped the edge of the ear, seeking to do no damage. His feelings for Gabriel had not waned a bit. He knew his brother woul let him take this no further so he layed his own head across the elder's shoulders. He was almost content to leave the silence be, to wait longer to tell Gabe. But then His brother broke the silence. He asked what was wrong and Sam still had no clue how to tell his brother. "I just.... don't know how to say it. How do I ask for forgiveness when I've done as I have? He caused so much pain yet all my brothers and sisters still loved him, deep down i did too." He lifted his head and pulled it back, keeping his hellfire gaze on his brother. He was sure Gabe would know. The scent was a mixture, he knew what Gabe had smelled, his and Abba's. Micah's existed all along his back, where he had carried the body of his son. Nonetheless he knew he should outright say everything. It had been much easier with Sathanus and Mammon though, they hadn't had any feelings but rage for the man. "Abba killed Micah, threatened Uriel, Threatened my other children, and worst yet he threatened your life for being homosexual. I couldn't stand by anymore. He touched Dom, her face is horribly scarred, and he stood over Micah's body laughing. I've killed him, taken his life in penance for the pain he inflicted, for the pain he was going to inflict." His voice was quiet. No longer the booming baritone it once was. It was raw with emotion, pain at the thought he had just lost Gabriel, that he had killed his own father. He pressed the top of his head and snout into Gabe's shoulder's. A whisper escaped him. "Forgive me, for i have sinned. For i could no longer fight off the demon inside. Please forgive me. For i still sin, I love my own brother and cannot forget such feelings." Tears spilled freely. He knew he had lost his brother and his heart clenched at the knowledge. "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" Just a little bad habit That you hide from your friends

The gentle ministrations of Samael's tongue moved from his shoulders to his neck, and then to one ear. Ever so lightly, the larger male nipped at the edge of his lobes. A soft snort of indignation was all the herald offered, nose wrinkling as a tiny smile claimed his features. "Oh Samael," he chided playfully, his tone light and teasing. A soft shake of his head would rid him of the tickle in his ear. The comforting weight of Samael's head across his shoulders bade him be silent once more. This was comfortable. This was good. "I just.... don't know how to say it. How do I ask for forgiveness when I've done as I have? He caused so much pain yet all my brothers and sisters still loved him, deep down I did too." An eerie feeling climbed up Gabriel's spine. Frightened and cold. What is he saying? Unlike the winter outside, these cold fingers had nothing to do with snow. They grasped at his thundering heart, rending it between sharp talons. The steady pressure of Samael's head across his shoulders lifted. Sightless eyes were wide now, staring blankly forward. Lord, no. Please. Somehow, he knew what his brother was about to say. He had an inkling. A horrible one. "Abba killed Micah, threatened Uriel, Threatened my other children, and worst yet he threatened your life for being homosexual." Gabriel had always been aware of the Lord's opinions on the sinful love between similar genders. This was no surprise. Water off of a duck's back, to him. To hear that the Lord had slaughtered a child, a mere lamb in the eyes of the herald.. It sent a hot spark into his chest. Was that spark rage? Hatred? Fear? He couldn't decide. His mind was a whirlwind, already swimming in all of this new knowledge. Sweet Uriel? What could he hold against her peaceful heart? It was so much to hear, all at once. "I couldn't stand by anymore. He touched Dom, her face is horribly scarred, and he stood over Micah's body laughing." The titan had treated the brutal wounds on the young child's face. Cleaned the oozing blood and pus with his own tongue. Tasted sin. The impression of the great Lord, his Father, looming over a child's body with his features twisted into a mad kind of glee.. He didn't like it. He didn't like where this was leading. That cold feeling grew. Choked him, punched the air from his chest. "I've killed him, taken his life in penance for the pain he inflicted, for the pain he was going to inflict." There was a resolute coldness in Samael's tone. Blank, unfeeling. A strangled cry died just shy of his lips. Wide sea foam eyes squeezed shut. Dark lips pulled away from sharp ivories, divine countenance twisted in grief. How could this happen? Father.. he was gone. The sharp press of Samael's forehead and snout into his ruff- it was too much. Overwhelming. Everything was too much. He couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Tears rolled from his eyes, tumbled carelessly down his pale cheeks. It was too hot here. He needed to breathe, he couldn't breathe! More words invaded his ears. Oh so lovingly soft. "Forgive me, for I have sinned. For I could no longer fight off the demon inside. Please forgive me. For I still sin, I love my own brother and cannot forget such feelings." There was a growing dampness in his fur, underneath the heavy weight of Samael's cranium. All at once, he got to his feet. He couldn't breathe. He needed out. To get out of the cloying heat and breathe. Fighting against weak, trembling legs, he climbed the tunnel. Hot tears stained his cheeks. He didn't notice them any more. Stumbling out into the blistering cold, the herald felt as though he was born once more. Born into the world where he had no Father. No guidance. He collapsed into the snow, frigid air searing a path to his lungs. Choked, gasping sobs wracked his delicate form. There were no words to spare, no gospel to weep into the frozen drifts that might make this easier. The Lord, in all of his magnificence, had Fallen. Worse than any other could have dreamt. Sin had drenched his soul and coursed through his veins in his final moments. A small, rational part of Gabriel could understand that. Father had to die, it had been unavoidable. Yet... it still hurt. Worse than when Michael had carved his sins into his own face. Worse than when he'd been forced to hold his baby brother still while his ears rang with his cries. Worse than hearing the desperate, terrified screams of those poor children as their mothers were slaughtered. He didn't want to be here. Gabriel prayed under his breath. Prayed that it was all a dream. Prayed that it was all a lie. Prayed for salvation. "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" I LOVE THE WORLD BUT I JUST DON'T LOVE THE WAY IT MAKES ME FEEL

Gabe was silent. His silence spoke to prove Sam right that in admitting to what he had done Gabe would leave. The warm body he had pressed his face into removed itself from him. The sound of sobs reached his ears but he let his head fall. His own sobs filled the space between his brother's. The sound of Gabe running away was easy enough to pick out.

Part of him wanted to run after Gabe, but another part knew the best thing was to stay put, stay still. His heart hurt, this was rejection all over again. He wanted to die. His body curled up as much as he could, tight as he could manage. His tail covered his face. Silence overtook the area around him. Gabe wouldn't come back. He wouldn't forgive Sam ever again. Even his new freedom wouldn't make up for the wrong Sam had done to harm them all.

Rough, harsh sobs grated his throat. How could this happen? Everything had come tumbling down around him. The cold crept under his pelt, scraping its icy talons over his skin. Oh great, that was just what he needed right now. Elegant crown rose from the snow, sightless gaze blank. Clumps of snow fell from the downy fur of his cheeks, slid from his pale muzzle. He hiccuped his way into a fresh bout of tears, keening his heartbreak into the sky. Those words replayed in his head, over and over. The broken record of "I've killed him, taken his life- again and again. Why had it needed to be Samael? Why couldn't it have been someone else, someone that Gabriel could be mad at damn it! "-penance for the pain he inflicted-" It would haunt him, just like everything else. Maybe not forever, but for a long time. His brother had his reasons, "-for the pain he was going to inflict." They were valid reasons. Still, his head kept working that speech over and over. Bouncing off the walls of his skull, echoing. "I've killed him, taken his life-" The Lord was dead. Gone. He hadn't thought it was possible. How did one kill a god? He arranged his limbs beneath him, desperately trying to preserve his body heat while he tried to gather himself. He couldn't stop crying. His chest hurt, his head spun. The force of his grief had hit like a train. "Why?" He questioned aloud, rough vocals shaking. Why had the Lord done this to His children? Why had He Fallen, when He was supposed to be a pillar of holiness for all to bow before? The pinnacle of goodness, of prosperity. Instead, He had sinned just as any mortal might. The betrayal sunk its claws deep into Gabriel's soul. Worse yet, why had He done this to Samael? Was banishment not enough? The slaughter of his wives? When had He planned to stop? Had He ever intended to stop? Oh, Lord. Poor Samael. He was still down there, by the molten river. Left to his grief and sins. Slowly, the herald rose to his paws. The chill had settled itself into his bones. Aches and pains. In those moments, he had aged infinitely beneath the snow laden sky. Exhaustion weighed him down. Slow but determined, he fought his way towards the heat that worked its way from underground. Each echoing step down the tunnel was matched with those words. "I've killed him, taken his life in penance for the pain he inflicted, for the pain he was going to inflict." Standing, forlorn, upon the warm stone floor. A few steps were taken closer to the blessed heat of the river. "That must have been extremely difficult for you to do." He said, vocals raspy. What else could he say? After everything, his brother had been forced to commit the unspeakable sin. For his children. For the rest of their siblings. For me. "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" I'M CALLING YOU FROM THE FUTURE TO LET YOU KNOW WE MADE A MISTAKE

He was left to the grief, the guilt, the knowledge that Gabe wouldn't be forgiving him. It was alot for him. His first loves, then Belphegor, now Micah, was there nothing sacred? Was everything he loved doomed to die in agony and bloodshed? Had he been cursed?

An answer came simply to him then. He could end it. He could stand now, walk into the molten lava, save everyone else around him from the curse of his love. He unfurled. The idea was tempting. His eyes stared at its surface, it's color matching the gems in his skull. It could be over quickly, painfully but quickly.

Paws coming towards him stopped him from lifting himself towards the lava. A sob came. The words that came from the heralds mouth next were full of pity. The problem was they weren't true. "But it wasn't, the desicion was easy, the action of doing it even more so. Yet the hardest thing about this is admitting to you what I did. Just knowing that I'll never earn your true forgiveness, that I'll never be anything more than the brother that killed the Lord. Just because I couldn't accept that he could be right, that my way of life could be wrong. That perhaps we deserve death for being as we are, you and Uriel  homosexual, and me bisexual and incestuous....." his voice was weak, breaking him as he verbally admitted things he couldn't help or control. As he admitted truths of the worst kind to not only himself but to Gabriel.

He rose then, haunted eyes moving to his brother. He moved towards Gabe. He wanted closeness, intimacy, even if it was all false. Without abba they were free from the fear that he may catch them but still Sam stayed cautious. He sat with his head tucked beneath Gabe's throat, his shoulder delicately against Gabe's throbbing heart.

Patience was a virtue. For once, it came easily to the golden titan. Delicate limbs were arranged neatly as he warmed himself on the brimstone banks. Chin tipped toward his chest, bowed in wordless prayer. He needed strength. Guidance. Where would they come from without the Lord? He heard the choked sob echo through the cavern. Had that been Samael? Worse, himself? "But it wasn't, the decision was easy, the action of doing it even more so. Yet the hardest thing about this is admitting to you what I did. Just knowing that I'll never earn your true forgiveness, that I'll never be anything more than the brother that killed the Lord. Just because I couldn't accept that he could be right, that my way of life could be wrong. That perhaps we deserve death for being as we are, you and Uriel homosexual, and me bisexual and incestuous....." It was another long speech. Perhaps Samael should preach his own gospel- he was awfully good at it. A scoff- harsh and unexpected even to Gabriel- was uttered from inky lips. "You think that because he is dead, I will accept my sinful existence? Just like that?" It was unbearably cruel to cut Samael down like that. But it needed to be said. Gabriel lifted his cranium, sightless eyes gazing somewhere beyond the back wall of the cavern. His brows lowered, narrowing his eyes. "What you did for your family was impossibly brave," he began, trying to figure out the words for it. Gospel had been so easy, it flew from his maw like song. This? This was impossible. "and I will not hold it against you. How could I? You sought vengeance for the Lord's misdeeds against you and your children. Against what I stood by and conceded with my silence." A shuddering breath was taken in. To feel the trembling form of his younger brother press tight against his chest was reminiscent of better days. Samael's shoulder blade dug itself sharply into his collarbone. He didn't mind, or notice. Dark, tattered cheek pressed tight into the soft fur of his neck. The herald only furthered the contact, tucking his own chin over the broad skull of his brother. A gentle, soothing hum passed through him. "You will do what you feel is right, but I will still mourn my Lord's death. I will continue to live my life by his teachings, until I see the fault in them that you do. Dear, sweet Samael," The gentle lyrics were still raspy from his throat's abuse. "I will follow where you lead, until I decide otherwise. You have a good heart, despite your sins." It was the best comfort he could manage. Was it enough? "Gabriel" Thoughts "Samael" TAKE THE PAIN, MAKE IT BILLBOARD BIG THEN S W A L L O W IT FOR ME