There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? Today was unlike any other. For once Tana felt free of worry. Rhyme was probably off doing alpha things and Tana had decided to take her companions and a rabbit hide filled with some herbs towards the hot springs. She intended on finding a shallower pool and dumping the herbs in it. She had the hide in her mouth and Alma on her back with basil in front of her. Basil was leading them after having discussed this with Tana about how if trouble came she was to howl as loud as she could and run for abaven borders. She of course had agreed but she hadn't told rhyme where she was going. She padded along after basil as they searched for a good spring to occupy for their relaxing bath. When they finally came upon one Tana set her rabbit hide down and nosed it open. Lavender, chamomile flowers and lemon balm leaves were the three that made up the concoction, of course these were the last of the year that she had found and she'd be without the calming effects of the herbs over the winter but hopefully she wouldn't need them. She waited to hear the okay from basil that the water wasn't deep enough to drown them and then she started to put the herbs in the hot water. She briefly thought of how Vail could of used the relaxation before her wedding. That and Rhyme might of benefitted from all his alpha anxieties as well. But did she want his company? She couldn't deny that he was in her thoughts alot these days but she wasn't sure he liked her the same way she did him. He liked her as just a pack mate he had to protect, but she was starting to think of him as her friend, the first she truthfully had ever had. She slid down into the water carefully and sat with her head on a rock in the pool. Alma and basil stayed closer to the edge and with their feet the only thing dangling in the water. Walk, "Tana", Think

Imperia led him from Abaven’s borders. They had been doing a border patrol, but she had changed directions closest to the hot springs. She didn’t often lead him away from the usual with out reason. Rhyme followed her dark form as it streaked across the sky, she hadn’t given him a signal for danger and felt himself more and more curious until he caught Tana’s scent. She had left the territory with her companions, and his first thought was if she had told Shaye about her adventure. He had to remind himself that she was free now, she had a will and could use it, but he didn’t feel comfortable with her just leaving and not saying anything. How was he supposed to keep her safe if he didn’t know where she was? He had a promise to uphold and it seemed like she wasn’t going to make it easy.

Knowing where we was going he put his head to the trail instead of following his raven. It wasn’t long before he caught the heavy scent of aromatic herbs in hot water. He slowed, seeing she really was fine. He debated about walking away, finding it hard to find the right words when he was around her. Shaye hadn’t removed any turmoil in his thoughts eithers. In fact she had almost made it worse. Now he had thought about Tana in ways that hadn’t encompassed his mind and he wasn’t sure what he thought. His anger at those who had harmer her still reigned over the rest of his emotions, and the confusing thought of ‘warming up with her’ at night were pushed to the back of his mind.

He sighed again, might as well look out for her since he was already here. "You know, it’s hard to keep my promise if I don’t know you’re leaving the border." He mentioned as he drew more near. He didn’t quite chastise her, but she’d know he wasn’t thrilled.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? She was alone for a long time and she couldn't help but sigh as she soaked in the water and herbs. Then the peace of the day was shattered by a voice, one she was familiar with. Rhyme had found her again, though she wasn't sure he was really looking for her when he found her. Unless he had been? His voice sounded somehow worried. Her ears pressed back and she lifted her head in his general direction. Alma and basil were quiet as they watched Tana and Rhyme. "S-sorry, I-I j-just t-thought..... what? That it wouldn't hurt? Yet it sounded like she had maybe hurt his feelings. She corrected herself and whispered this time for more than just not telling him. "S-sorry." She moved closer to the edge of the water. It looked like her day of relaxation was over. She felt a little disappointed but also she didn't want to hurt him. Walk, "Tana", Think

His eyes fell on the three of them, Tana looked more relaxed than he’d seen her since he’d found her on the side of the mountain. Even her primate companions seemed relaxed with their little feet dangling in the water. He almost felt bad about disturbing her, but he couldn’t forget about keeping his word. He really would have trouble keeping his promise if she wandered outside of his range of influence. There were unknown wolves that lingered close to the territory, he didn’t want to give any of them the opportunity to harm his charge.

Rhyme kept his attention on Tana as she tried to explain herself, but it quickly devolved into an apology. The alpha had no issue with her coming out to relax, in fact he would have encouraged the action. He just wished she had mentioned her outing to him. He would have tagged along or sent someone to look after her. She moved, looking like she was about to get out of the water.

"Don’t be sorry," he offered, sitting down by the edge of the hot pool. "Nothing happened this time, I would just appreciate a warning next time you leave. You’re a free wolf, you can make your own decisions." He managed to smile softly, even though she wouldn’t be able to see the expression. "Just remember I have a promise or two to keep."

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? He said not to be sorry and she couldn't help but to be sorry. She hadn't thought about that if she left he wouldn't be able to keep his promises. She also didn't know about the new Male that had him jumpy because of his past. She paused at the edge of the pool. "I-I d-didn't t-think about i-it." she tensed as she hopped out of the water. Steam was rolling off her like the water in the chillier autumn air. She gave a brief shake of her fur. Alma was quick to climb up onto Tana's shoulders and basil stood. They understood Tana in ways no one else would. Their trip was over because Tana would never ask Rhyme to shirk his alpha duties to relax with her. She started back towards the borders with her ears pressed forward. Even though the trip was cut short there was now time to listen to anything Rhyme would like to speak of. "w-would y-you flu-like to t-talk t-then?" Walk, "Tana", Think

She explained her actions again, not that Rhyme could blame her. A slave’s ways were harder to break than they were to instill usually. He watched her lift herself up from the warm water and he felt his ears fall to his head. He hadn’t meant to disturb her so much, but he also didn’t want anything to happen her to while under his charge. The alpha decided not to say anything to her, she was a free wolf, she could do what she wanted.

Tana headed back towards the borders of Abaven and Rhyme lingered by the side of the pool a moment longer. She had gotten him a little wet, but he ignored it as he watched her confident steps. She had already started to change since being in Abaven, he felt proud of the little accomplishments they were making. Finally he stood and followed after her as she asked if he had anything interesting to talk about.

"I would." he answered, deciding to test her quietly. He wondered if she would go on to tell him what might be on her own mind, or if she sought information from him.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? Basil was quick to take the lead and tana fell in step next to Rhyme as he said he would like to talk. She tilted an ear in his direction. She waited to see if he was going to talk or ask her questions. After a moment though she started to ask her own. She wasn't sure if she really wanted the answers but she did know she wanted to be open with each other. "D-do y-you have s-someone y-you like? H-have you e-ever t-thought about I-if you w-want a f-family?" she was somehow wanting nothing more than to hear him say no. She was holding her breath and she could feel the clenching of her heart. She had been slowly figuring it out that he had wormed his way into her heart. He was the kindest Male she had ever known. Alma was giving her a look of pity knowing well why she asked those questions. Her hands worked through Tana's fur. Basil however ignored the conversation. Walk, "Tana", Think

Rhyme fell quiet and for a long moment there was silence between them until Tana decided she did indeed with to speak. He let his dual colored gaze linger on the horizon before them, but couldn’t help look to her at the first question. She asked, other than in her normal stutter, neutrally. Rhyme wouldn’t quite had understood what she asked with out the second half of her question. Did he want a family?

He tried not to take too long in his answer, not wanting her to read too deeply into the silence. He was beginning to feel his eyes open. She may have been more confident now but he could see the stiffness in her step as she asked. "I suppose you mean ‘feel deeply for’ when you say ‘like." He started, deciding where to go as he continued. Did she ask because she felt that way for him? "No, there is no one I seek a long term relationship with." He mulled over the second part, again feeling the tug of wanting a stake in the future. Someone to live on after he was gone. To carry the memories and spirit of his line. "I would like to raise a child or two before I die." He offered, knowing he wasn’t getting any younger. There were a few women he would have enjoyed reproducing with, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Tana.

He was afraid to ask the question back, he didn’t want to get swept away by the fury her past liked to bring him. "Do you want to be a mother again?" He asked softly, unsure how she might react, though he knew she would never forget her first two.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? He answered after what felt like forever. He started by correcting her question. Yes that was exactly what she meant. But he soon squashed her hope that he cared for her, yet also at the same time gave rise to a hope that she stood a chance. Though she didn't know why she thought he might want someone as ugly as her. The second answer had a little flutter of hope showing itself in her gut. He wanted children though it sounded like he only wanted one or two, maybe one litter. Her ears pressed. She couldn't deny she wanted a large family. He asked her if she wanted to be a mother again and she couldn't help but think about her first two. They'd had no chance to live a life, but now any child she had it seemed would have the opposite opportunity. "I-I w-w-would. S-so l-long a-as its I-in a-abaven." she didn't want to tell him yet he had captured her heart, that she wanted him to like her. She'd probably ask Vail eventually what it felt like to be loved. "y-your it-the n-nicest m-man I k-know." this time she made herself able to be heard as she told him what she once said but he hadn't heard. Walk, "Tana", Think

Rhyme tried not to let himself think of Tana in the ways she had been mentioning. He kept his eyes ahead, trying not to steal the earlier glances he had been. While Tana assumed he only wanted a couple of children, Rhyme wasn’t sure he would even get them. He tried not to conflate the two subjects in his mind, but he couldn’t help himself as the thoughts fluttered past each other and evolved. She admitted to wanting more, to try again here in Abaven where they might be born free. He felt his ears fall back as his skin grew flush. The alpha hadn’t had any trouble in the presence of a she wolf since he had escaped slavery. Why did he suddenly feel so much more exposed with Tana?

She stuttered out a compliment, his presence clearly on her mind as she was his. He tried to wrangle his thoughts, unsure how he felt about her or felt about her feeling about him. Rhyme decided to try and hide his nervousness with humor. "Not much competition, when you think about where you came from." He managed with a chuckle, though it faded away quickly. "Tana, do you like someone in Abaven?" He asked softly, almost stopping his slow pace as he brought his gaze in her direction. He didn’t want to ask her outright about her feelings, but this roundabout question seemed safe.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? He tried his best at humor and she gave him a soft smile. No his competition wasn't hard to beat. Not that he ever had much competition. She stopped all together when he asked if she liked someone in Abaven, her paw scraping at the ground. It was a dilemma, to tell him or not. How was she, an ugly little girl, supposed to tell an alpha who could have anyone that she liked him. He'd probably shut her down immediately, seeing as she wasn't quite the prize he would want. She may as well tell him though and get the heartbreak over with. "I-I do, b-but h-he c-could have a-any o-other g-girl h-he c-chose." she made it no secret that she thought she wasn't worthy of anyone's affection or love. She'd been beat to good to think otherwise. Walk, "Tana", Think

Rhyme’s humor was rewarded with a soft smile from Tana, though it wouldn’t last long as he asked his question. He maybe should have thought about asking to begin with, but with her cryptic speech and his hunch he thought they were better to have no secrets between them. He halted as well, his eyes watching her tiny form as she nervously disturbed the dirt beneath her paws. He’d put her on the spot, not a place many wolves wished to be in. He had a thought for a moment that she might think he was ordering an answer from her. Thankfully it seemed her train of thought hadn’t gone there.

Eventually she did answer him, though not in the direct way he would have hoped for. Her voice liked to have broken his heart for her once again. She held so little value in herself. Rhyme’s ears fell to his head as he tried to articulate his own answer. ”Any other girl he chose.” He thought about the truth to her words. Rhyme was too much like his father, and he couldn’t imagine himself settling down like Vail and Solor. There were too many wolves out there that he wished to enjoy. Not that he though Tana wasn’t ‘worthy.’ There weren’t many wolves in Abaven he wasn’t related to either.

"Why wouldn’t he choose you?" Rhyme asked softly, Valentine had more than one woman in his life. Rhyme could offer Tana what she desired most with out limiting his own freedom. Or could he? The size difference alone made him hesitate to offer himself to her. He and his sister had been early, sparing their mother from a painful and potentially deadly birth experience. "You’re one of the sweetest women I know." He offered, knowing her self worth was minimal.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? Why wouldn't he choose her? The question was one she felt didn't need much of an answer. Just look at her, she wasn't no prize dame. Not to mention he was an alpha and she was just a healer in training. "B-because I-I'm n-nobody, and a d-disgusting r-runt." she understood her worth completely. She also understood his worth without being told. His compliment had her turning her head away shyly. Did he know who it was she liked? Could he guess it was him? She didn't deserve love she knew that. Her ears pinned as she thought about it. No Male would ever want her, she was disfigured and ugly, not to mention she really was too stuttery to be liked. Why should she fool herself into thinking otherwise. She knew her life wasn't worth much to most wolves. "N-not to m-m-mention h-he's the a-alpha.... she stuttered out that bit quietly but she figure he would probably still hear it. Walk, "Tana", Think

Rhyme shouldn’t have been surprised by her answer, he could clearly see how highly she valued herself. Though they had been making progress she still didn’t believe in her self worth. He whined softly as his heart broke for her, surely Abaven would create a better image of herself within. Already she was providing service to the pack, she was learning with Vail and creating wine with little assistance but that of her companions. She turned away at his compliment, and he wondered if she believed him. Though she was broken, she wqas mending and he’d meant what he had said. For how much she had been beat down she was sweet and caring. He had no doubt she would make an excellent mother if given the chance.

He moved closer to her, eyeing her companions as he closed the distance between them. Taking a page from Shaye’s book he lowered himself to the ground beside her, if she still possessed her eyes he would have been level with her gaze. He didn’t miss her words, and if he were not hurting for her he would have smiled that his hunch had been correct. He looked towards her primate companions in silent permission before moving forward. Rhyme would try to pull her into his grasp, knowing he might knock Alma from her master’s fur.

He nuzzled gently into the soft fur behind where her ear used to be before whispering to her quietly. "I’m so proud of your progress within Abaven," He sighed inwardly, not sure if this was how he wanted their conversation to go. "I care about you a lot, Tana. If you want me to love you, I will." She had shown him kindness he hadn’t received in a long time. His family loved him, and showed it, but her concern for him that night she told him about her past was something he’d never forget.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? The silence between them grew almost uncomfortable. It left too much time and quiet for her to think. Thinking was dangerous to her. Did he hate knowing it was he who had captured her heart? Was he surprised? Did he want to tell her no? She couldn't see his face, she had no idea his reactions unless he spoke. Then in the silence she heard him move. Not away but towards her. Hope soared in her chest. Basil watched him carefully and Alma did her best to stay out of the way of being removed from Tana's back, or crushed by the larger male's proximity. He pulled her into him and she didn't resist, becoming almost rag doll like. She was so used to most touches from wolves equating in her own misery but she had learned long ago to accept whatever fate they had in mind for her or it could be worse. But what she had never expected came from him. His muzzle was gentle against the back of where her ear once stood. Her haunches lowered, melding her into him. Her shoulder was against his chest. He was proud of her. She felt Alma jump off and onto Basil to avoid being in the way and being squished. HE said that if she wanted him to love her he would, but she couldn't ask him to love her. It would be too much, she'd never taken another's choices or free will, she couldn't bring herself to do that now. She knew the feeling of being a caged bird. "I-I w-want you t-to l-love m-me o-on y-your o-own, n-not b-because I a-ask." She shook her head. She wouldn't ask him to love her if he didn't truly. It would be like trapping him as a slave to her love. Walk, "Tana", Think

Rhyme half expected her to cower away as he drew more near, with all the abuse she suffered the motion would not have come as a surprise. He felt like he had really started to earn her companion’s trust as well when they didn’t even bare their teeth at his closeness. Alma attempted to linger, but was swiftly misplaced as he held Tana close and she melted into his embrace. It felt good to have her there, something he hadn’t expected.

She wasn’t going to ask him to love her like he had alluded to, but he had no doubt that loving her of his own will wouldn’t be a difficult task. She was sweet and hurt and he wanted to mend her. Like he wanted to mend Abaven, or even himself. He sighed softly as he found himself kissing the fur behind her tattered ears. "I don’t think that would be hard." He whispered between his affections.

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? She did her best to hold still, an instinctive thing that she had learned to avoid angering others. It was nice to be held and not bit every time he touched her. He smelled nice as well. It wasn't like fire and blood or like blood and alchohol like she had always been used to. She could feel heat in her cheeks as he kissed behind her ears. She wasn't used to love instead of anger, the closest she had come before was Sintaro and he had mainly been lust. He said he didn't think it would be hard to love her and nothing made her any happier than hearing that from him. Would he be okay with a fragile woman who couldn't always do for herself though? It was alot to commit to in her opinion. She had alot of baggage as well, not that she would ask anyone else to ever carry it for her. It was her burden to bear. "Its nice like this." she whispered after taking a deep breath. She rather enjoyed being held and not hurt. Walk, "Tana", Think

She remained more rigid than he had expected, her form frozen as years of learned behavior held their true. He felt pity for her, but tried to have faith that she could be stronger. Maybe someday she would lose her stutter and she would walk as confidently as Vail did within Abaven’s borders. He still wanted to make her a fake leg, surely with help it would be possible. He nuzzled her softly as he pulled away slightly, enough to look at her features briefly before looking back over at Alma and Basil. He wondered what they thought about their master’s words.

Imperia called out to him from high in the sky, not a danger warning, but and dinner bell. She was getting hungry. His attention was drawn back to Tana, she made sure he knew she was happy in her own words. Rhyme grinned in satisfaction. "Good." He kissed her quickly on the nose. "We should get home though, Imperia is ready for dinner."

""

There's a hole in my heart, can you fix it? Tana felt herself melting into his chest the longer they stayed like this. Slowly the rigid way she sat was melding away into the relaxed state she was starting to adopt. Though basil was still watching them warily, he still believed it was his job alone to protect Tana. Basil only thought Tana would eventually be hurt by this relationship. Alma on the other hand couldn't help but smile at the sight of them. She believed that if Rhyme was serious this couldn't go any better for Tana. It was Imperia's call that sent Tana to stiffening and her head and ears swiveling. She hadn't yet distinguished between the bird's calls but she knew that danger could lurk any time. Though Rhyme's words settled her reaction. The bird was just hungry and growing impatient with them for her meal. Home. The word was heavy to her. It was the first time she actually wanted to call a pack home. He kissed her nose and she gave him a nod but leaned into him. She kind of wanted to stay here like this. Hunger pangs were no longer a problem for the woman so she doubted the bird felt them like tana once had. She stayed for a few minutes like that, then finally she lifted herself. "o-okay, l-let's go h-home." what was on the menu was a question she could of asked though, seeing as hunting wasn't a thing she could do herself. Yet another reason he might want to not love her. She started towards the borders once more, slowly but steadily. Alma climbed on happily and basil took the lead once more. She didn't know about Rhyme's thoughts to make her a prosthetic but had she known she would tell him she was happy as she was. She had learned to accept her life as it was and was proud to bear the scars that made her who she was. Walk, "Tana", Think

A soft smile crept over his features as she relaxed into him, there was no doubt this was the first time in a long time she had relaxed at all. He caught sight of the two primates a few paces away, one hopeful the other pessimistic. He kept his thoughts to himself as he let his attention linger on Tana as she worried about Imperia’s call. She calmed with his words and settled back down as he mentioned returning to Abaven. He didn’t rush her, and let her snuggle into his chest as long as she wanted.

Eventually though, the two of them would return home, she pried herself away from him and headed back towards the borders. Rhyme stood as well, quiet as he followed after her slower pace. He wasn’t sure what to think about what had just transpired between them. Through his foggy thoughts he found a strange urge to speak to Shaye about everything. Normally he would have felt aversion to speaking to his cousin about his more intimate relationships, but it seemed so different with Tana. He knew he cared about her but he felt… weird. Rhyme couldn’t even explain it to himself. He’d figure it out eventually he guessed.

-exit rhyme-

""