Quiet is the night that brings me home

A brisk fall wind pulled Eulogy from her slumber, blinking her deep blue eyes to wash the sleep from them. She had found a warmed rock in the Plains, curling up all too happily to soak up what little heat was left. The wind brought promise of winter, pushing a sigh free from the healer's lips. She would need to go and collect what herbs she could now before they shrived up and died, but the idea of leaving pack lands still made her quiver. It was silly to feel like there was a threat looming just over the boundary line, ready to snatch her up in her moment of weakness, but it was enough to keep her paws firmly within Abaven. If she vanished on her family again, she knew that it would be the end of it all. They were still struggling to find a routine in each other. It was hard to push away the thoughts of just how much that she had missed in her children's lives. Already she struggled with feeling like she was anything more than a let down, but now it was an impossible thought to shove away. It was like a fly that constantly swirled around her head, her snapping jaws unable to catch it. Sleep would seem to be her only reprieve, but her nightmares were back in full force. There was no escaping this, and she was sure that it would haunt her for awhile. It was still hard to shake it all, seeing just how much her babies had grown. She had missed that, all of it.

Eulogy flinched away from her thoughts, raising back up onto her limbs and shaking out her mocha coat. It seemed to be some time in the afternoon, a quick peek at the sky telling her that she had only dozed off for a little bit. It was brief enough that she was able to get some actual sleep, unhindered by the dark images that plagued her. She actually felt a little rested, a leg up on most mornings. The lady stretched out gratefully, sliding off her nap spot and into the tall grasses of the Plains. The hiss of snakes unaccompanied her movement, but she hardly heard them anymore. They came a part of the landscape after so long, like the birds in the background or the gentle murmur of the brook. Eu made her way to the water now, bending to lap up a few mouthfuls of water. She had better start with some herb collecting, some basic ones grew in Abaven's land already. It would be something, and would hopefully made the timid wolf feel somewhat useful. It was difficult to find the pattern of life when it had been this shaken, when all she wanted to do was hole up in her den with her children, never to leave again. A silly thought, maybe, but it sounded like the perfect time of peace, not a thing able to get beyond that wall. A wistful sigh blew out of her chocolate lips, paws moving slowly as she picked her way through the grass, halfheartedly keeping her eyes peeled for some dandelions. It was better than nothing, more proactive than sitting there and lusting after things that she had no control over. She wondered what her children were doing now, having half the mind to go hunt them down and make sure that they were okay. If they had thought her overbearing before, they were in for quite the shock. Not a lot of time passed between her check ins, quickly loping around the pack to make sure that they were still in once piece, and that she hadn't missed anything else. It wasn't much of a life to live, perhaps, but it gave her a small hint of comfort in her otherwise chaotic mind.

If there was anywhere in the world that Rhythm was most reminded of her brother it was the serpent’s plains. There was no great memory or event that cemented him here, but the soft sound of hisses and scales over rock always brought the manifestation of Bass to her mind. Memories and thoughts of a time long gone by played through her mind’s eye. Likely the landscape shifted and changed as much as she had over the years. She got to wondering what Abaven’s founder would think about the pack of today.

Rhythm was proud of the young Destruction generation, they were stronger than she ever remembered being at their age. Like her daughter. Knowing Eulogy was still alive and returned somewhat safely to the pack gave her much relief. Too much had been taken from them, and now she hoped Eu and her yearling children would flourish with the coming Spring. The woman had been busy tending to her children, as she should after a long absence. As Rhythm should have done for Rhyme when she had a chance to begin with.

There was much to mourne over, but Rhythm banished all thoughts of the past from her mind. She knew very well her time here was in short supply, it was better to make the most of the present than linger in the past. ”Eulogy.” She called out warmly as her little bird Feather showed her the way. A grin played on the old woman’s silver features as arthritic paws carried her closer.

Quiet is the night that brings me home

Her heart wasn't in her search for herbs, more so her need to do something driving her forward. Even as she walked her mind was elsewhere, as it usually was. There were so many questions that she longed to have answers to, knowing full well that most would always be without. Eu's ears pulled back against her head, a sigh pushing through her lips. Would it always be this way? Would she always be this afraid, this wracked with guilt? Swallowing hard, she spun on her heels, about to give up and go back to her den when she heard her name fall from familiar lips. Eulogy's whole body froze, before she twisted back around and raced towards her dam, gently colliding with the older woman as carefully as she could. She had been so wrapped up in her children's and her own pain that she had forgotten to seek out Rhythm. Tears sprung to her deep blue eyes, that fear that had been in her chest on being too late melting away. It was no secret that her mother was at an advanced age, and she had been so afraid that she was going to miss her final goodbye. Eu's relief turned to tears, pressing her nose against her mother in several places as if to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "Oh mom... I'm so sorry," sobbed the girl, feeling suddenly like a child again. Her rump folded over as she buried herself in her mother's coat, daring not to pull away.

With a sigh so hard it shook her body, Eulogy pulled away just enough to brush her nose against Rhythm's own, a somber laugh leaving her. "Why does our lives feel so full of goodbyes and hellos?" She asked solemnly, searching her mothers unseeing eyes as if they held all the answers. There was no one in her life that had been through as much as herself that she knew of, besides her own dam. They shared a pain that she didn't wish on anyone else, and always wanted to make her proud of her. After all that had happened, she was worried that a seed of disappointment had bloomed within Rhythm. The mocha coloured woman couldn't blame her, despite her efforts to be stronger, she had only come through the gates weaker than she was before. She felt like she had tried so hard, and even then she fell short. Shaking her head slowly from side to side, Eu rested her cheek against her mother's own, drinking in her scent as her eyes slipped closed. She didn't want to know a world without the strongest woman she knew.

Eu was quick to turn and find her, though Rhythm didn’t see her movement she could hear it in the sound of her feet on the ground. The old woman perked, ears erect and tail wagging slightly at her hips. Already she could feel the intensity of the winter in her joints and was thankful for the store of herbs to soothe her aches. She was going to have to start upping her doses. She didn't think about any of the pain as Eulogy raced forward to embrace her. Rhythm leaned into the affection and breathed in her daughter's scent. Her relationship with Rhyme was still rocky, but Eulogy would be forever loyal.

Rhythm felt a surge of emotion as she held tightly to Eulogy, tiny streams of tears flowed from sightless eyes as Eulogy tried to apologize. Rhythm shook her head as she tried to hold on tighter. There was no need for apologies here. ”You need not be sorry my dearest. Maybe if I had been there you wouldn’t have gotten lost.” If she had only returned to Abaven when Rhyme had begged her to. There was one true regret in her life and it was that one. How much time did she waste trying to be the wolf she’d been before slavery?

She banished the thoughts. They could sit and utter what ifs all day and nothing would change. All they had was here and now and they had to make the best of it. That was what Abaven was best at. Rhythm sighed softly at Eulogy’s words and settled in against her as the young woman pressed her cheek against her own. ”Such is the way of the world.” If there was one lesson she’d learned it was that one. So many wolves had come and gone in her lifetime. She’d felt true love along with bitter heartache. Moments of overwhelming joy and deep despair. ”We’re here together now. That’s what matters. You can’t change the past, only make the future better.” She tried to encourage her dear daughter as she held on tightly to her.

Quiet is the night that brings me home

She was thankful that the woman not only didn't pull away, but clung to her tighter as she sobbed into her mother's coat. The tears flowed on their own, unable to stop them as she crumbled against Rhythm. Eulogy had been so focused on her own children that she had forgotten just how much she missed the woman before her, the emotions flooding over her like a tidal wave. When Rhythm tried to take the blame on herself though, she violently shook her head, burying her face further into the plush of the other woman's coat. "Please, mother, don't blame yourself. In the haze of the eruption, I fear that there was little that could have been done. As selfish as it may sound...." she broke off, clearing her throat as her ears pressed tightly against her skull. She had never admitted this out loud, but... "I am thankful that I had Spirit with me. If I had been completely alone, I fear that I would have been lost for a much longer time. And then I would have..." Eu broke off, not daring to speak of what she could have missed. Her children's lives, not being able to say goodbye to her mother... It was a horrid thought, but it was no secret that her dam was growing in age. If she hadn't been able to wish her a final goodbye, it would have broken her, more so than she already was. She never blamed her mother for staying away either, for wanting to be herself. It was a strength that she herself wished that she had, and something that she had always admired in her mother.

The female's sat back, still not moving far from each other's side. She breathed in the scent of Rhythm, finding comfort in just being with her once again. Her question was answered without hesitation, telling her that it was just the way that their world worked. The mocha coloured girl found herself pouting, knowing that it was true, but at the same time wishing that it didn't have to be that way. It felt like every time she turned around, she was saying goodbye, or reuniting with someone who had left them for a time. They were the words that she needed to hear though, telling her that their was no way to change what had happened to them. It was something that Eu knew well, and yet still struggled to accept. Every day she tried to rewrite the past, tried to make herself stronger and be a woman that her own children could be proud of, as she was of her own mother. She wanted to lead them down the right path, to help them avoid the bitter truths that the world bore. An impossible task, perhaps, but one that she still tried to accomplish. "I know you're right, but it's still so hard to let go of," Eulogy whispered, closing her eyes as she nuzzled under Rhythm's chin. There was so much that she wanted to change, even still knowing that she couldn't.

Another sigh left the chocolate woman, her blue eyes looking upwards towards the sightless elder above her. "But what about here? What happened after we left?" She asked, knowing that she had missed much of the disarray that had occurred. And what of Rhyme? She had yet to see her half brother since coming home. So much of her own family was still here within Abaven, but she had been much to wrapped up in her own drama to seek them out and check in on them. Plus, part of her still clung to the shame of having vanished in the first place, worried that their opinions of her would shift.

She wanted to take on all of Eulogy’s trauma, as any mother would. The younger she wolf wouldn’t allow her to take any of the blame though. Dark ears fell to her skull as she squeezed her daughter again. Despite everything they had been through life was looking up. Eulogy was back where she belonged and Rhythm had finally made her way back as well. ”He’s a good boy.” Rhythm offered up sweetly, feeling her own love for the boy. Even if she didn’t know her grand children as well as she wished the old woman was proud of them. They had been through so much in their first year of life. ”Now that you’re both home I’m sure you’ll flourish.”

She offered a nuzzle to her daughter as she admitted how hard it was to let go of the past. Rhythm knew the feeling, she harbored so many regrets that not thinking of them was sometimes a chore. She had to take her own advice, and it was no easy task. ”Don’t forget what happened. Mistakes are what make us who we are, forgive yourself.” Rhythm had to do that more than she liked to admit. Valentine rested heavily on her mind as they spoke as she tried not to reminisce too heavily. Parting ways with her once mate had been a very hard time, but now that she was here she could reassure herself that she had made the right decision.

”I didn’t come back to Abaven until after Shaye’s death.” She uttered softly, wondering again what would have happened if she had been here during the eruption. Would Eulogy have gotten lost? She couldn’t think about it that way though. ”Despite the hardships it seems like the pack is only growing stronger.” The familial bonds were stronger than ever, besides a couple of hiccups on the way.

Quiet is the night that brings me home

A somber smile touched her lips at her mother's kind words, feeling that sense of home well up in her chest once more. It had been awhile since she had felt anythingclose to contempt, but it was starting to steer in that direction. They were all home now, and while she still have some bridges to mend with her own children, they were all in one piece. The issues of herself and her past could wait, her mind more centered on getting her family back on track. It was strange though, how her own life seemed to run so parallel to her mothers own, both of them having gone though a lot of the same pain, the same trauma. Seeing Rhythm here in one piece, once again surrounded by her kin, was a bit of a relief to her. If she could do it, she had hope for herself to get through her own issues, sort the scars in her heart. At her mother's squeeze, the girl leaned even more heavily into into her. "I do hope so, I really do,"

Eulogy held fast to the advice that Rhythm offered, nodding her head slowly against her mother's side so that she could feel it. "It's hard to forgive myself sometimes, to let go of the guilt..." She said softly, turning to hide her face in her mother's darker fur. That was the worst part of it for her, letting go of the things that she blamed herself for. She had been working on that before the volcano had driven her away from Abaven, and the events that followed her set her even further back on the path to recovery. She wanted to be good enough for her kids, for her mother, for the pack and everyone within it. At this point, she felt far more like a disappointment than anything else, like a wolf that they had to worry about over one that they could count on. Even though Theory had given her a higher rank, she still felt like she hadn't done anything to earn it. There had only been a few of their pack members who had been hurt, and their injuries had been minor and very easy to treat. The memory of it pulled her ears flat back against her mocha skull, a deep sigh leaving her chest. It was harder than she could have ever imagined, even more so at this point and time. But she didn't want to give up, as easy as that sounded. Eu knew that it would be a long road to being a happier, healthier her, but it was something that she needed to do. Her pups deserved a more put together mother, and she was doing what she could to fix that.

The woman frowned at Rhythm's next words, blinking her baby blue eyes in confusion. So that was after the eruption. Her timeline seemed so twisted now, the time that her and Spirit had spent away felt like seasons longer than it really was. "It does. The children are all growing up, and Theory is doing an amazing job carrying all the weight on her shoulders," Eulogy offered, placing a kiss against her dam's cheek. It really was so much for a yearling to bear, supporting all of them and have to run Abaven by herself. It was a large task, and she was doing it so well. Pride flared in her chest at the thought of it all, humming delicately as she snuggled closer into her mother. "I'm glad you're home though, really..."

Leaving Valentine and Legion had been a difficult decision to make, but now as she lay with her daughter wrapped in her arms, safe from the atrocities that once plagued them, she knew the decision was right. This was where she belonged and she wouldn’t regret the decisions made. She was no longer tied to her once mate and now that she was old she could focus on her descendants. Rhythm knew she didn’t have much time left in the world, all she could do now was to ensure that those she loved could survive and thrive long after she was gone. That very much included Eulogy.

Rhythm held her tight, supporting her as best she could and offering her unconditional love. ”I know.” She returned softly, the guilt was hard to live with, but the past couldn’t be changed. You could only move forward. ”But you’ve grown because of it. Being able to admit when you’ve made mistakes is the hardest step, but it proves you will do better.” Rhythm encouraged her daughter softly, hugging her a little tighter as she did so.

”Theory is doing us all proud.” She said fondly, all of her grandchildren in Abaven were doing their best with what they’d been given. They’d continue to struggle through but she had no doubt they would succeed in returning to a happy life and persevering through the difficult times. ”Life will brighten, they will make it through.” She couldn’t know for certain but she felt that they would. ”I’m glad to be back with you too.”

Quiet is the night that brings me home

As the time worn on, she sunk with more and more comfort into the form of her mother. It brought her great comfort to know that she was here, living out the last of the days surrounded by those who loved her. While it was a hard thought to bare, it was something that she knew was coming. She could see it, in the way she moved, in the way her body started to give in to the tests of time. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest as she dug her nose against Rhythm's shoulder, inhaling the scent that she knew so well. Eulogy could feel her own pain and worries starting to sink into the back of her mind, simply just enjoying being with her mother. A low sigh left her lips as she curled herself into the older woman, a pleasant smile pressed tightly against her lips. For the first time in a long time, she felt truly content. She didn't worry about her children being upset with her, or the bridges that she had left to repair. Like Rhythm said, that would all come with time. She had to allow it to happen instead of pushing it, trying to force a path that was not hers to fight for. A heavy sigh left her lips as she nosed her head on top of her mother's paws, quite literally unable to get much closer than this. "I love you," Eulogy said softly, placing a gentle kiss on the woman's chest before letting out a soft giggle. She cared so much for her dam, chest welling with the overwhelming sense of pride and affection that she had for her family. They had both been through so much, and yet here they were. Not only were they together once more, but they were back with their families, back in the place where it had all began.