ardent

how's it hanging?



Jupiter

Loner

age
6 Years
gender
Male
gems
403
size
Extra large
build
Medium
posts
366
player
Lazuli

Ooze ImmuneAll Oozed OutThe Ooze ParticipantFestival OrganizerDouble MasterHalloween 2020 - Spooky Cave
Beevent1KTreat 2019
07-30-2020, 08:13 PM (This post was last modified: 09-06-2020, 10:28 AM by Jupiter.)
Jupiter settled down at the base of the tree, his polychromatic eyes locked on a pendulous blob that hung from one of the tree's branches like a pair of runaway testicles. How the hive had survived the last windstorm was beyond him, but alas, it had, which meant it was firmly outside of Jupiter's reach. He hummed to himself thoughtfully as he watched it sway. It looked like the bees had started on top of the branch and and over time their hive had spilled over the sides. The end result were two semi fused lobes whose resemblance to an elderly nutsack could not be overstated.
He shifted his weight from paw to paw, stood up and settled back down with his head tilted to the side. It looked like a little poke would knock at least one nut loose. That sounded all good, right? Get a stick and knock that shit down. Wrong. When the hive hit the ground it was going to burst open like a whale carcass. Only, and this was the rub, instead of raining down fetid whale bits a thousand angry bees were going to pour out seeking vengeance and unlike whale bits, they were going to fixate on him like little heat seeking missiles. Pass. Hard pass.
"What if we..." Jupiter trailed off as he ran through the scenario himself and found it unworkable. He closed his mouth with a huff and then blew raspberries while trying to come up with another plan. After awhile he rolled his head to the side and eyed his companions. His expression made it clear he was waiting to hear if they had any ideas. His eyes lingered the longest on Bubbles. As the newest of their little group he had a lot of ground to cover.
Sensing now was his time to shine, Bubbles, the boar, grunted, "Branch is thin. Amadeus could saw it off, carry it to the river, drop it in. Drown them bitches."
Amadeus was quick to raise a derisive finger. "Look at that thing and then look at me. On what planet does that thing not drag us both to the ground?"
Jupiter shrugged dismissively but said nothing. For now, since he didn't have any ideas of his own, he was content to let his companions duke it out. Metaphorically speaking. The tamarin had a point. He probably weighed a fraction of what the hive did. Bubbles' suggestion was dead on arrival. The hot-headed boar, displeased with being rejected so quickly, huffed, "Alright then, smart guy, what's your grand plan, eh? Surely you've got something good rolling around in that big ole brain of yours."
Amadeus pressed the tips of his fingers together and then folded his hands as an idea began to form. "What if, instead of letting it drop, we tie a rope to it and lower it to the ground slowly? Perhaps if we don't jar it too much they'll stay calm."
Jupiter eyed him skeptically. "And once it's on the ground, what? We..." he briefly lapsed into silence as he thought. "Take it to the river then?" It wasn't far away.
Amadeus shrugged. "Why do that? Why not just carve a piece off and run? We don't need the whole thing."
Bubbles was quick to jump in. "What do you eat? Nothing! Like a grape once a day? Two? Two grapes? I ain't never ate so little in my life. I can eat that whole hive myself. So how about this. You cut off what you want and leave the rest to me. I'll haul it to the river."
"Works for me," Jupiter said as he got to his paws. He had ropes in the cart. It took him all of two seconds to fetch them and another two seconds for Amadeus to climb the tree. For awhile Jupiter and Bubbles had nothing to do but watch and offer advice - that Amadeus always rejected with an angry wave of his hand - as Amadeus clamored through the trees putting together a makeshift pulley system. When that was done he tossed down the loose ends. Jupiter grabbed one and Bubbles grabbed the other. The idea was that the two of them would keep enough tension on the ropes to keep the branch level after it was severed.
    What none of them had taken into consideration was how long it would take a tiny monkey to saw through a branch as thick as his waist.
"Imma die of old age before you get that thing done, Ama," Jupiter grumbled.
The tamarin was quick to snap back, "Quit your bitchin' it's almost through."
A soft crunch marked his success. From there a series of coordinated steps let Jupiter and Bubbles bring the branch to the ground. When the "sack" was barely off the ground Amadeus darted forward, cut a piece off, and quickly wrapped it in a hide. He was off in a flash. As soon as he was clear Jupiter began to disengage. Personally he thought Bubbles was crazy. Any second now an angry swarm would rise off the hive and go after whoever was close by. Bubbles was going to get stung to death. And it was a shame too; Jupiter rather liked his new pet. He'd miss him.
"You got it?" The bees were beginning to rise.
"Yeah," Bubbles hissed before clamping the second rope between his teeth.
"Then fucking go!" Jupiter roared in exasperation. Any second now these angry bitches were going to start stinging the shit out of them and it was going to be this pig's fault. He had half a mind to give Bubbles a kick to get him going.
Bubbles took off towards the river with the hive skidding across the ground behind him.
He was no sooner out of sight when the squealing started. Blessedly, the bees had all gone with him leaving Amadeus and Jupiter alone in the clearing.
To Amadeus, Jupiter lamented, "He's a goner."
Amadeus shrugged. "Yeah. We need a new pig."

WC: 1,003
[Image: ZQdAdlz.png]

NOTE: this character is pretty on the outside but nothing but ugliness and innuendo on the inside. It's best to consider all threads with him rated 'M' regardless of the official tags.