Answer the damn door

Zee was certain she'd never felt so much pain before. She'd been hopelessly blindfolded by trust and by love, and found out the hard way how misplaced all that faith had been. At one point in time Deathbelle had been the most important wolf in her life, that love had never faultered not even when Sirius had come in to steal her heart. Through even the birth of her children - and the knowledge that they too would belong to her Empress - she found her devotion remained strong. After all, everything she was and everything she had she owed to Deathbelle. Never in her life did Zee think she was capable of not loving her, and even less did she expect that Deathbelle was ever capable of hurting her in this way.

The depression that had gripped her over the last year had been suffocating, it unrelentingly threatened everything she was and everything she wanted to be. Needed to be. Zee had worked too hard to get out from under the weight of insecurity, swearing never again would she felt so weak. It threatened her now once more and at it's heart was the one she called Sister, the wolf who had loved Sirius ever since they were children but still gave her blessing for him and her handmaiden to fall in love.

Hate was so much easier to feel then hurt, and Zee willingly gave herself over to it as she strode through the plains. It wasn't fair, Deathbelle had the world in her paws. An Empire. She'd had a husband, then her brother, then an affair with one of her warriors. Love had come to her enough, she'd had enough men in her bed. Sirius belonged to Zee alone, but still the Empress had been bold enough to steal from him a kiss. And Sirius, he had done nothing to stop it. Asking forgiveness but not permission.

Had she not done enough to be the wife he needed? She had allowed him to place their name upon so many wolves whom he called children, never asking her opinion, never including her in his life's plan. Each time she welcomed them into their growing family, loving him enough to accept his impulsivity and recognize it as a positive change he'd made to himself instead of a problem. She could see how he'd grown from a hardened warrior into a father, a protector. Zee did what she could to nurture that change and appreciate him for it.

Already she had been consumed with thoughts of more children, another hoard of tiny Sirius's who would inherit the best in both of them. Their tiny bodies to warm her bed when he was out on patrol, his delivieries of carefully chosen morsels of meat when she could not leave them alone in the den. He had always been good to her, never before had she been made to feel second best. Her warlord had supported her through her anxieties and her stresses, fought by her side in their raids. It was a future she'd come to dream of and expect for the rest of their long lives, watching litter upon litter grow their name and make the Armada strong - all in the grand plan of advancing Deathbelle's Empire. Everything was always for Deathbelle in the end, and never before now had she questioned that plan.

Her paws slowed as she approached the eerily glowing shrine, the place Sirius had claimed and gifted to Deathbelle in memory of her late husband. Even their territories had been chosen with the Empire in mind. Their wolves trained to fight and die in her name if need be. Zee was willing to sacrifice anything for her sister, even the freedom of her children when they were still safe in her womb. Anything but him, his sacrifice was too much. She had made that clear whe nthe trio discussed letting Deathbelle into their marriage - she'd have given anything she'd asked, but Zee could not stomach being second in Sirius' heart nor could she label herself above her Empress.

Zee's eyes slid shut, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. What would become of her if the day did not go in her favor? Sirius was still unconscious, and she'd intended to resolve this before he could wake and force her to stop. Would she be allowed to simply leave should she lose the fight? Or would Deathbelle label her a traitor, call for her execution? Through all Sirius' loyalities, Zee knew he'd be unable to obey that command. The hangman would need to be another. She could win, perhaps. But could she hope to match the Empress' life of combat training with her own few short years? If she couldn't, then maybe that meant she did not deserve him to begin with. Didn't deserve the crown he'd won for her, or the right to bear his children.

The crippling anxiety was beginning to burn away her resolve and Zee knew she could not afford to wait any longer, not while Sirius was healing and could wake and find her gone any minute. He'd know where she had gone, and he'd made it clear that he would not allow her to leave even if she failed in this challenge. She tipped her head back and threw a commanding howl, demanding the presence of the Empress before she could change her mind. They would settle this now, and she would deal with the consequences of her actions should she fall beneath Deathbelle's paws.

Moments passed, then minutes, and eventually too long for Zee to place a word to. Once more she threw back her head, frustration leaking through into her call. Still Deathbelle remained absent. The horned queen's howls were becoming longer, the pauses between her demands shortening. "Show yourself, you stupid bitch!" She yelled out, tears breaking to roll down her cheeks.